Drew’s adulting! He is practicing parenting himself, in preparation for his baby on the way. Drew acknowledges feeling anxious about how his parents will react to the pregnancy news he has yet to share with them. Doug challenges Drew to stay focused on himself and bring his emotions out to alleviate the anticipatory anxiety. Doug and Kenzie look at what it means to “Double down, don't shut down." We can hear Drew name and feel the feelings in the session and release some of the judgement he’s be...
Feb 02, 2024•1 hr 1 min•Season 3Ep. 122
Sarah follows up on last session’s “wow moment” about using the concept of natural consequences rather than being judge and jury when giving a punishment. Sarah is re-parenting herself while effectively parenting her kids. People around Sarah are starting to notice a difference in her as a result of her processing in therapy and making previously unconscious habits and patterns more conscious. Doug helps Sarah uncover a moment in her past when her emotional expression was literally shut down by ...
Jan 25, 2024•1 hr 11 min•Season 3Ep. 121
It’s the return of Drew to the podcast! We check in with his health, and the stress he’s feeling as a 26 year old adult with a baby on the way. Doug challenges Drew with tough love to see his pattern of trying to avoid present issues. Drew says he keeps everything up in the air where he doesn’t have to catch it and face it. He is able to take his head out of the sand and look between the immediate financial pressures and the larger picture of existential anxiety. Drew sees, and feels, what he’s ...
Jan 18, 2024•1 hr 10 min•Season 3Ep. 120
Doug introduces the concept of natural consequences to Sarah as opposed to being judge and jury as a parent, even if the punishment fits the crime. Sarah acknowledges that she is not failing as a parent; rather, she is growing as a parent. She points out that her growth is carrying over to other aspects of her life. Sarah calls Doug “the Sarah whisperer,” and Doug turns this around and reminds her that she is the one whispering to herself and growing. She is, in effect, actively re-parenting her...
Jan 11, 2024•1 hr 13 min•Season 3Ep. 119
We’re back! Doug is joined by Kenzie on the breakdown and they pick up right where Sarah left off in her therapy sessions. Sarah has been listening to podcasts featuring other people’s experiences in cults, which gets her intellectualizing how growing up in a cult still affects issues of power and control in her life now. Doug helps Sarah get into the emotion by putting the focus on “her” own personal story and subjective relationship with “her” parents in the cult, rather than looking objective...
Jan 04, 2024•1 hr 9 min•Season 3Ep. 118
We discuss the issue of “control” after it came up in our small talk about parties, drugs, and past behavior. Sarah sees clearly how the abuse she suffered in the cult as a child triggers her so profoundly in her current life. She is starting to make a connection of how setting personal boundaries can keep her safe, especially when anxiety comes. Sarah is now personalizing her experiences, as evidenced by her saying “I” at several points in the session rather than referring to the general “one” ...
Jun 01, 2023•46 min•Season 2Ep. 117
Sarah was super busy at work, had drama with her ex, and then got Covid! In session, she expresses that it’s hard for her to say no to anyone, especially her children. Doug helps her stay with the emotion and process “disappointment." Sarah recognizes that she had been running on adrenaline and that she needs to take care of herself. Doug highlights this as her having a personal boundary even in the face of disappointing her son. Is this the beginning of a new neural pathway in her brain that al...
May 25, 2023•46 min•Season 2Ep. 116
Drew is feeling “confident alone” rather than “scared alone.” He describes it like being the driver of the car of his own life and holding the steering wheel himself. He is less co-dependent and not feeling so impacted by triggers and the old wound of abandonment by mom. From this place, Drew is living for himself - although he drops big news at the end of the session indicating that he definitely won’t be living just for himself anymore in about nine months! Doug’s Group Practice Meredith Levy ...
May 11, 2023•34 min•Season 1Ep. 115
Sarah has sense memories in the present that trigger some traumatic experiences from her upbringing in a cult. She depersonalized her trauma in the cult as a defense mechanism, but she is now able to go through it in therapy. From this more secure and stable place, Sarah is starting to connect emotionally to her own life with understanding and compassion. Doug’s Group Practice Meredith Levy YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Media: YMB The Facebook Group YMB on Instagram YMB on TikTok...
May 04, 2023•40 min•Season 2Ep. 114
Drew went back home to his parent’s house to re-ground himself. He’s been able to practice how to be present with his parents and not take on the full responsibility for their well-being. Although Drew feels more adult, Doug takes a tack of challenging him in session rather than the “fluff” of praising him and just using unconditional positive regard. Drew loves the challenge approach and is able to explore how he is starting to feel like an adult, but still acting like a child. In Drew’s own wo...
Mar 30, 2023•42 min•Season 1Ep. 113
Sarah is learning not to take ownership of someone else’s feelings. She is still owning her part in triggering someone, but she is starting to allow others to be not ok without having to fix it. Sarah is no longer accepting her old default that there’s something’s wrong with her, or that she needs to fix every uncomfortable situation. Doug points out that she is embodying the Carl Rogers quote, “When I accept myself as I am, then I can change.” Sarah has accepted herself as a trauma survivor and...
Mar 16, 2023•44 min•Season 2Ep. 112
Doug provides the space to let Drew complain about his job and his boss – something many of us can relate to feeling! Outside of work, Drew is feeling like a grown-up as he individuates from his parents. He is relating to his dad as a fellow adult rather than as a child that needs his father’s approval. He’s redefining the emotional ties he has to his family while he lives his own life for himself. Doug’s Group Practice Meredith Levy YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Media: YMB The Facebook Group YM...
Mar 09, 2023•31 min•Season 1Ep. 111
Sarah shares memories and scenes that are coming up now from her past as a child growing up in the Children of God cult. Since being in therapy, she is putting pieces of her past together with new perspective and understanding of how it has impacted her life. Sarah is able to verbalize her thoughts and process her feelings with Doug about some of the abuse she endured as a child. ***Trigger warning*** This episode contains potentially triggering and sensitive topics including child abuse. If you...
Mar 02, 2023•42 min•Season 2Ep. 110
Drew is not forcing a change externally to feel better internally, having recently come out of a depressive episode. Doug reflects that he might be feeling better in part because he’s allowing himself to be present in the journey not because he reached an end destination. Drew applies this to moving his home right now, and says that he’s able to “trust the process” with both the move and the unknown in general in his life. Drew then drops a “banger” on Doug at the tail end of the session related...
Feb 23, 2023•45 min•Season 1Ep. 109
Sarah explores how impactful it was to not have someone that at least tried to protect her as a child growing up in a cult. Doug reinforces the concept that she’s now re-parenting herself when she uncovers old wounds and tends to them. Sarah also protects herself by gathering data, like with her upcoming eye surgery. As a protective measure, data collection helps Sarah feel more in control. It’s neither good nor bad; it’s just giving herself familiarity with something unknown to reduce feeling a...
Feb 16, 2023•41 min•Season 2Ep. 108
Drew is finding his groove again after a three month depressive episode. We highlight “inter-dependence” in his relationships right now in contrast to the people pleasing and co-dependence that marked most of his previous relationships. Drew is setting his boundaries and not feeling guilty about moving away from the people that have “done me dirty,” while leaning into the people that have “done me right.” Doug Friedman Meredith Levy YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Media: YMB The Facebook Group YMB...
Feb 09, 2023•36 min•Season 1Ep. 107
Sometimes feeling misunderstood can lead to self-realization. Ouch, Meredith! Sarah sees herself objectively after hearing Mer’s reaction to her from an earlier session. This leads Sarah to explore her protective mechanism of correction and hyper vigilance when there is a problem in her life. Doug encourages Sarah to sit with the emotion for a moment and validate the experience before taking an action to fix an issue. He introduces the idea of looking at things with a sense of curiosity versus c...
Feb 02, 2023•40 min•Season 2Ep. 106
Doug recaps the lost audio from session #86 with Drew comparing his depressive episode to turbulence on an airplane, and how we can manage our way through it. In the current session #87, Drew reflects on being able to stay present in the day-to-day experience of his life rather than getting caught up with what the next six months, year, or two years will look like – especially in his relationship with his girlfriend. Doug Friedman Meredith Levy YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Media: YMB The Facebo...
Nov 23, 2022•32 min•Season 1Ep. 105
Sarah attends a memorial for her cousin and is triggered at the service by seeing an abuser from her past in the cult. She is able to compartmentalize in the moment, let it out later with her family, and then process it with Doug in therapy. Sarah could be present in her own experience as it was happening and then acknowledge and process the emotions that came up in a safe space. Doug Friedman Meredith Levy YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Media: YMB The Facebook Group YMB on Instagram YMB on TikTo...
Nov 17, 2022•41 min•Season 2Ep. 104
Sarah is feeling overwhelmed with a lot of little things stressing her out and one big thing coming up – her cousin’s memorial. Doug helps Sarah stop and breathe, so she can acknowledge and process some of her grief and feelings of guilt. Sarah gains different perspective on the loss of her cousin and her relationship with him. Doug and Meredith break down parts of the grief process that came up during the session. Doug Friedman Meredith Levy YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Media: YMB The Facebook...
Nov 03, 2022•56 min•Season 2Ep. 103
Sarah links her current feeling of powerlessness with her past experiences of powerlessness in the cult and in her previous marriage. Doug helps Sarah go to an emotional place and process from there, rather than go to an intellectualized place, or get anxious and shut down. Sarah uses therapy to help carve new neural pathways in her brain and shape new patterns of behavior by consciously shifting what she does and how she does it. Doug Friedman Meredith Levy YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Media: ...
Oct 13, 2022•54 min•Season 2Ep. 102
***Trigger warning*** This episode contains potentially triggering and sensitive topics including suicide. If you or someone you know needs help, please call 988 in the United States. The 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline is a national network of local crisis centers that provides free and confidential emotional support to people in suicidal crisis or emotional distress 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in English and Spanish in the United States. You can also access resources online at https://988l...
Sep 29, 2022•1 hr 11 min•Season 1Ep. 101
An incident with her daughter sparks Sarah’s feelings of anger and powerlessness. Doug helps her draw the link to her emotional experience in the cult. Sarah is able to stay with her emotions rather than intellectualize them or try to fix the situation. They begin processing the feelings in session that she’s been holding onto most of her life. Doug Friedman Meredith Levy YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Media: YMB The Facebook Group YMB on Instagram YMB on TikTok...
Sep 22, 2022•54 min•Season 2Ep. 100
Doug helps Drew use a metaphoric pie chart to understand where his energy goes and where his stress comes from in his life right now. Doug Friedman Meredith Levy YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Media: YMB The Facebook Group YMB on Instagram YMB on TikTok...
Sep 15, 2022•56 min•Season 1Ep. 99
Sarah tells the story of her life as a teenager after escaping the cult she grew up in as a child. Doug helps her see where some patterns started with her only focusing right in front of her, staying hyper vigilant, and never dropping the ball or giving up control. Doug and Mer highlight Sarah feeling free and independent as a teenager for this first time in her life – and how maybe she can tap into that way of being now as an adult. Doug Friedman Meredith Levy YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Medi...
Sep 08, 2022•59 min•Season 2Ep. 98
From the vantage point of his new job and a regular paycheck, Drew looks back objectively with appreciation at some of the things he was doing for work the past 18 months. He gets support from his girlfriend/not-girlfriend as he finds his new speed. Doug Friedman Meredith Levy YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Media: YMB The Facebook Group YMB on Instagram YMB on TikTok...
Jul 11, 2022•44 min•Season 1Ep. 97
Drew got a new job and feels like he’s taking a couple steps back mentally but he’s taking ten steps forward emotionally. Although he's overqualified for this job, he has the perspective of feeling a sense of mastery in what he's doing. We look at concepts of success, balance, and confidence building. Doug Friedman Meredith Levy YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Media: YMB The Facebook Group YMB on Instagram YMB on TikTok...
May 12, 2022•49 min•Season 1Ep. 96
Drew is allowing himself to slow down and experience all of the emotions coming up right now rather than just “getting through it” or numbing away from it. He acknowledges that his roots at the bottom feel solid while at the top, he can be a reed blowing with the wind and not fighting it. He feels like an Evergreen, baby! Doug Friedman Meredith Levy YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Media: YMB The Facebook Group YMB on Instagram YMB on TikTok...
May 05, 2022•54 min•Season 1Ep. 95
Drew gets emotional as he copes with a hard week in the midst of a depressive episode. Drew expresses that he needed the safety net of parents this week and didn’t get it. He’s now feeling alone in the world, questioning his purpose, and not feeling much hope. Doug helps Drew acknowledge that much of this is a function of being more independent and not relying on others to feel better. It’s also a function of Drew doubling down not shutting down, and processing these emotions rather than running...
Apr 14, 2022•58 min•Season 1Ep. 94
Drew is feeling depressed. Things are going good, but he’s not feeling good. During this period of time, Drew feels like something internal is missing – he’s not enjoying anything on his own and pushes back whenever Doug looks at his connection to others. Drew gets emotional and they are able to sit with the feelings of just being “in the grey.” Pineapple Juice is my safe word: https://www.yout-ube.com/watch?v=mjpipdrNVQE Doug Friedman Meredith Levy YMB Webpage Join Us on Social Media: YMB The F...
Mar 31, 2022•1 hr 2 min•Season 1Ep. 93
