If you can record from now, because I might use this bit in the build up to the start of it. I wouldn't bother. So we're going now. Alright. be able to see yourselves on that screen? No. Is it going to be a distraction? Ironically, the model doesn't want to. Just reminds me of my MTV days, you know. Oh, look, see, my... You're not allowed to look at your phone all through the podcast. Oh, I don't care. Go on then.
I've got it as Homer Simpson. I've got it all written down up there. I thought you were checking your texts and stuff. No, no. I've gone on to airplay mode. Oh, yeah, I'll do that. Even though it's on silent. Yeah, you should. You should do that. Oh, how nice and silent is it now? Lovely. And then you spoke. Right, okay. Already, there's a... Are you ready, Snowy? Already, baby. Shall I start? Yeah, let's do it. What's it called? Hello, and welcome to episode one.
We're not getting any younger. I'm Lisa Snowden. He's Andy Goldstein. Yes. How are you? I'm really good. I don't know why people start the podcast with how are you. I came in on the train with you. Yeah, we've been chatting all morning. Yeah. I'm very excited about our podcast.
Because you and I have spoke about doing a podcast for months and months and months. Yeah. And then you were like, yeah, let's get some. And I was like, okay, it's down to me then to find the perfect place to do it. And you're like, yeah, because I'm lazy. And I'm like, oh.
Snow, you don't have to be lazy. Oh, I am really lazy. You're the best, Andy. That's your opinion. Finally. Did I really say that? Look at us here in the Spotify studios. You set this up. I will give you that. Beautiful studios. Yeah. Absolutely amazing. Although. Got a lovely matcher as well.
our matcha latte from downstairs. Free? I thought I'd go on brand. Green. Maybe people send us free stuff in. That's how it works. No, that's not why we're doing the podcast. No. We're here to help people. But I saw a lovely Lamborghini on the way in. The working title of our podcast was actually Fuck Me, We're Getting Old. Well, no. The working title was always We're Not Getting Any Younger until about eight minutes ago when you walked in and went, fuck me, let's call it...
No, we were at one of our local restaurants and we were talking about the podcast and I was like, let's do something about getting older. Let's do something about the shit that's happening to us as we're ageing. Don't pretend this is your idea. It is my idea. When's that happened? Sorry. Oh, my God. Are we going to literally go there already? This is like... I think you'll find you're not my first choice for this role. Right, I'll see you later. Anyway, we were incredibly drunk.
Yeah, and you don't really remember. We should point out to people that are listening to this for the first time, they might be going, oh, Goldstone, I love your work. I've never heard of Lisa Snowden. Or vice versa. I imagine it's more that way around. We should tell people what we do and who we are and then what the point of the podcast is, right? I'll ask you five questions. You can ask me five about. So what's your name?
Lisa Snowden. What are you most famous for, Lisa Snowden? Capital Radio, Strictly Come Dancing, MasterChef, Winning That, My Book. I mean, I don't know. Where do I start? Modelling? Bit of modelling. You've got such a better list than I have. Right, you want to keep going? Yeah, keep going. Hold on, Masterchef, did you mention that? Yeah, yeah. Okay, my memory, we'll talk about how bad my memory is. I was like six seconds, that one, I forgot. What else have you done?
Oh, silence. Was it Googler? Yeah, I've done loads of bits and pieces. I've just kept it going for the last 30 odd years. It's been really nice and varied. Bit of photo shooting, photo shooting. TV ads. I work on This Morning. I do fashion on This Morning. Yeah, you do that.
So I kind of jump around channels a little bit. Do you do the stuff where they go, and you can win this? I do. And you go, here I am by Paul. I do competitions too. That's what I meant. I like the competitions. They are a little cheesy, but I embrace it. It's fun. Okay. It's like I used to do catalogues when I was younger. so like cheesy catalogue photo shoots. Not the...
Pages in the catalogs when I was a kid I used to look at. Probably. Did you? The old bra and dicker stuff. Yeah, I did all of that. For Freeman's? Freeman's. Gratton's. Oh, no, don't tell me that. Now I'm feeling a bit weird. Oh, God, don't tell me. Did you really? Did you do Freeman's underwear?
Yeah. Is that still going Freeman's? I don't know. Yeah, it is actually, but it's not in a catalog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yes, I've done all of that. Did you really do Freeman's catalog? Yes. So I see the competitions as that kind of version of a slightly... Hold on, can you turn...
Just turn left a bit. Oh, yeah, now I remember you. In the white lacy. Yeah. Okay, now it's weird. Okay. Yeah, so I've done all sorts. All right. What about you? What's your name? Andy Goldstein. What are you most famous for? Currently... I am the presenter of Drive Time on TalkSport. Weekdays, 4 to 7, 1089, 1053, MediaWave, or via a DAB speaker. A little bit of Virgin, too. A little bit of Virgin cover, which I like. That's nice. I have in the past done shows such as...
Street cred, Sudoku. You've never heard of it. Unofficial wear records of sex, presenter. Bikini heaven. What's bikini heaven? This is before sexism was bad. You can't host a show called Bikini heaven. That's where I met my now wife, who you know very well. She was an assistant producer. Right, of course she was. Which we'll talk about later on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I've done that. Right. TV stuff, probably sport, snooker. I've done that.
for a long time for Sky. And you're quite good at playing snooker as well, aren't you? Going to the US Open in August. That's very exciting. So yeah, so that's how you may know us. And the purpose of our podcast today, which is, I think it's going to be, well it is, it's out. So you're listening to it. We are not getting any younger. Yeah. We're embracing the fact that we're in our 50s now. I'm older than you. You are older than me. What is it, 12? Oh, just two years older.
Not even. You're going to be 51 soon. You don't need to tell people the age. Because they'll look at me and they'll go, Goldstein's not even 50. That's what you're talking about, Snowy. You've got that wrong. So the podcast is about getting old or not getting old, whether or not we feel like we're getting old. Some days are going to be harder than others. That's how it is when you get a little bit older. And things just get a little bit more challenging, don't they?
The reason I wanted to do this podcast, or one of them, was because once you told me that you did a treatment that involved... I still don't even know this is real. People putting snails on your face. Yeah. And I thought... Okay, we need to do a podcast where I can talk about that. Yeah, I've tried all sorts of weird and wonderful things that claim to, you know, preserve your youth and to make you feel and look the best version of you. Do you hate getting old?
No. Do you like getting old? Do you know what? This is subjective. Some weeks I'm like, I hate getting old because there'll be things that I'm feeling like aches and pains and things that you've got to deal with. And then other times I'm like, I love getting older. Like, getting older is a privilege, firstly. Not everybody gets to get old. Okay, right. Yeah, that is true. People do die. That's a bit grim, but it's true. What age are you taking now? What? What age are you taking?
What do you mean? You can take an age. Oh, I know. I want to be 52. No, if you can get to a certain age in life and die. Oh, 90? Is that too old? Blimey, you don't want much, do you? I want to get to 90. 90? My grandma, she survived until she was almost 95, and she was making her own bed. She was driving up until she was 93 years old. She was amazing. That worries me. Why? She nearly broke my dad's knees once, though. She reversed into it.
She didn't see him and she kept reversing back and nearly broke his knee. Oh, why did she die? Oh, we don't want to go there. Well, no, I think the podcast would go everywhere. Oh, don't go there then. Lisa's giving me that face. It wasn't... No, don't talk... It was...
What was it? No, don't tell me. Because this is the first show and I want people to go, oh, that was good. That was uplifted. Rather than, oh, she just told me that her mum was, her grandmum was a serial killer. No, no, no. She's got an electric chair. Imagine if that's the way you went when you were 93. You got found out to be a serial killer and they put an end to your life. And you managed to keep everybody, to keep it from everybody for so long. Or maybe you just started...
Maybe he started killing at 90. I don't know if that's... Well, this is a weird, weird thing. Well, that's one of the things. But we're going to talk about things that, as you get older, that you should start doing in life. Because I asked you on the trade when we came here. I said, have you ever jumped out of a plane? And you went, yeah, twice. And I was like, why would you do it twice? Oh, it was horrible. How old were you? 37. Why did you do it for charity? Yeah.
Twice? I had to do it twice. What, the same day? No. Like two months later, but it was freezing the second time. And I knew what to expect. So I was like, I could see my breath just on the ground.
And I was like, oh my God, you need to wear gloves, you need to wear a scarf, you need to wear all this stuff. And it was freezing up there. And because I'd already done it once, and I was watching the guy, because you do it tandem, obviously, unless you've trained to jump out without anybody. And you're seeing the dial on his...
watch go up like 2,000 feet, 3,000 feet. Do you mind flying? 3,000 feet. I don't mind flying. Okay, I hate flying. Yeah, I don't like the turbulence but it was going up and up and it got to like 8,000 feet and I'm like surely we can just do it from here. Like we're high enough now.
But then... Did you say that? Come on, open the door. No, I did. I was like, let's just go. But then the first time, I'll go back to the first time, they had, you know, Point Blank, that film with Patrick Swayze, when they're all like doing, they're all throwing themselves out of the plane with like the president's masks on and stuff. Yeah. So we went up with all these guys.
and they were in the back of the plane and they just all of a sudden doors open and they just threw themselves out so that was quite scary for me. With a mask on? They didn't have masks on. But they were kind of like radical. Do you have Joe Biden masks on? They've updated them. I think it was Reagan last time, wasn't it, with the point blank? But no, they didn't have Obama or... They didn't have Obama? What did you say? Obama. Oh, right, OK.
That's an interesting mask. So anyway, they got out at 10,000 feet and I was like, let's just do it here, let's just do it here, but we had to go up to 13,000 feet. That's the height. Is that all you do? All you do? No, because I didn't know the height. Oh, it's 13,000 feet. That was horrific. How long are you falling for?
It's probably only about 90 seconds, that before you pull the parachute, but it feels like longer. You don't pull it. No. I can't be trusted with anything. Here's a question for you, especially that. Here's a question. You know when you watch, this is what I was told, when you watch someone jump out of a plane... When they pull the cord, they go up. Yeah, you do. Maybe you don't. Maybe you just stop. Yes, because the person with the camera is still falling. Yeah. So it looks like they go up.
You do feel like you're going up, though, but it's quite jarring because it's quite strong. Yeah. And then that bit's beautiful, actually. I'd recommend to anybody who's thinking about doing a skydive or anything like that, once you are just like...
It's so peaceful. You're just literally looking out. Is it peaceful? It's lovely. It's just that first bit. Apart from the fact you've got this fella glued to your back. Yes, I'm a random guy. Did it make a difference if he was a good looking lad or not? No.
I just wanted him to be good at his job. I just wanted him to be good at his job. How many times have you done this? Okay. What's your success rate? Have you died before? Are you sure the parachute's going to open? Am I going to break my leg when I land? You've got to put your feet up, right? Yeah. Okay. Is it not weird, this fella? Did he touch you at all? No. No. I bet he did. I bet later when he went to the pub and he went, at least there's nobody in front of me. A little cheeky grove.
No, I wouldn't have known. Would you not? That was the last thing on my mind if he was holding my boobs the whole way down. This is what we do. I promise you, you'll feel more safe and skilled. This is how I steer. You want to go left a bit? I'm making that noise. He didn't make that noise. But the thing is, it goes against your...
In all of your instincts, when you walk towards that open door, when you're flying really high, because you know that you're going to be like... I don't think I could do that. And then you go out backwards, everything about it was horrible. I don't think I could do that. Yeah. See, the reason we were having this chat was because I always think that when you say...
We were talking about when you get older. I've never had conversations about getting old until I got to 50. Yeah, because it seems like... I don't feel old. And it's gone so quickly. Yeah. Those 50 years have flown by and you're like, shit, how much more do I, how much longer do I have? I want to do everything I can possibly do. Do you think when you talk about, because if this podcast is going to be successful, there's going to be loads of them.
I'm just worried that every time we'll talk about getting older, it'll be like, and of course, don't forget, we're one podcast closer to dying. Because it's effectively what we're doing, right? Every minute, going, going. I know, but you don't think like that. We're going. Going, going. There'll be some people that won't ever finish this series. They're thanking their lucky stars. They'll be like, I can't wait to...
How weird is that? That's what you've got to think about. There'll be people that won't get to the end of this. You've got really grim on this first episode. But that's what I'm talking about. I never had these thoughts, right? And whenever you talk about getting old, that's the only route you can go down, right?
Yeah, but you have a really good time going down that road. But there's something I want to say now, but I think it's too early to say it in the podcast. But I'll say it anyway. If you don't like this, you can fast forward it. But I spoke to, you remember when I was at Virgin Radio?
And my name, I don't care, I'll name anyone. Mick, my producer, who's like 61. Lovely bloke. Talks like that. He said to me, one of his friends was ill, and he said it was the first time ever that he's felt that there's like, this is so, I don't even know.
that you're on, like, a conveyor belt, right, when you're young, and you just see the end of the conveyor belt, and you just see, like, great-grandparents falling off the conveyor belt, and that's the end of... And he said this is the first time that he's like, fucking hell, I'm getting towards the end of the conveyor belt. Not that I feel it at 50.
But it's weird, isn't it? You don't think about these sort of things. We're not going to dwell on this. No. For the whole of our... This is a celebration. If you're still listening to this... No, but it's about like comparing. We're going to compare notes of like men and women and your kind of how you feel getting older and how I feel getting older. And obviously it is going to change from day to day how society...
views us, treats us as we get older. How different it is for women than men. Absolutely. Because I think men can grow old gracefully. Because I look better now than I ever have done, right? Oh, come on. No, you do. And men do kind of grow into their looks and then you get that salt and pepper and they're like, oh, he's a silver fox. What does that mean? Like when you get a little bit of like grey in your beard and you dye that.
What? You do. What? Hold on. Hold on. The whole of the high street talks about it. What are you talking about? Do I what? My beard? My hair? Your hair. Right. I'm going to tell you now on my children's life. I've only ever dyed my hair once. That was in 1996. And I dyed it blonde. Right.
You've seen my hair blonde, haven't you? No. Have you not? No. I can't imagine that. Right, I'm going to show you a picture. This won't work, but you'll hear Lisa's reaction to it. Have you never seen my picture of me blonde? No. Right. You've got a lot of hair, though. That must have taken hours to do. I want everyone to hear your reaction to it. Okay, so it was in 1996. You ready? I love that you can find it that easily. Because I'll put it in favourites.
Okay. I want to make sure there's no cameras behind me so they can't see it because I've never ever put this picture out. Oh, no, we're going to put this up. No, we're not. Yeah, we are. It's never been out on social media. No, we're going to put it up on there. No, we're not. Yes, we are. Maybe later on. Maybe later on. Ready? This is Lisa's reaction to me.
In 1996 with blonde hair. Don't worry, you're all going to see it. Oh my gosh. Not a good look, is it? No. It's terrible. Yeah, I look like Eminem. You look like a shuttlecock. What? Is it one of those little things? Yeah, you look like a little shotgun. It's terrible, isn't it? It's not a good look. It's literally peroxide blonde and really short. Yeah. And I was quite fat then, wasn't I? Bigger. Well, you can say fat. Isn't everyone with that? I don't like that word, fat. Why?
It's just a bit negative, isn't it? Is it? Yeah. It's horrible. Do you know what? You say to your mates, you're a bit fat. No, but here's the thing. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. If you had a drink problem, right? And sometimes you do.
You can talk. If you had a drink problem and I went, Lisa, as a friend, I'm telling you now, you drink a little bit too much. I'm worried about you. It's not good for your heart. It's not good for your kidneys, your liver. Fine. Right? That's good. If I went, Lisa. You're fat. Oh, don't fat shame, Lisa. But it's exactly the same. There's a nicer way to say it. Yeah, I wouldn't go, Oi, fatty, put the burger down. I think you would. Actually. I think you would.
Yeah, but why is there this problem about fat shaming? Because it's equally as dangerous for an adult or a young kid or whatever to eat bad food, right? Yeah, and I think there's ways of speaking to people. It's like, oh, you've lost a lot of weight. It can also be quite triggering and quite insulting. I know a lot of women who...
Especially like we're going to talk more about menopause and all of that sort of stuff that I've been through because I've been very open about that. Can I just say, just pause for one sec. Men listening, you need to hear the menopause chat. I don't know what episode we'll do. We'll probably do it throughout. Yeah, we will. But you need to... Don't be ignorant, men, because I've gone for it with my wife. Yeah.
So we need to have that chat. Carry on, sorry. So some women put on weight in the menopause, some women lose weight in the menopause, and equally it is as distressing. So I think people sort of assume that you're going to go, oh, look at you, you've lost loads of weight, you look great. That might be really insulting to some.
somebody. They might want to be putting on weight. So you've got to be really sensitive when it comes to people's weight and how they look. You have got to be sensitive, but at the same time, it's like a taboo subject. You mustn't... Just the word fat is horrible. I just don't like it. What about if I said my bank account's fat? That's fine, isn't it? With a PH. Fat wallet. Yeah. What? I got a fat cigar. Fat Cuban. Yeah. Yeah. That nice.
That's probably it, isn't it? But, you know, just going back to age, whenever I'm... In a paper or a magazine article, it always says Lisa Snowden, 52. And when did that start? They never do that with men, ever. It's never about your age. When did that start? Because they wouldn't put Lisa Snowden, 21, would they?
They probably would. All my life, my whole life it's been. 28, 34, it's always been documented. Like bingo. It always says, if you read any articles for any women, their age is always next to their name. Why? Why is it relevant? Why? It's because it's like, oh.
What's she doing? How old is she? What she should be doing at that age? Like, is this age appropriate? You know, it's all of that kind of stuff. It's all tied up in this whole thing of, like, how old you are and what we judge you to be doing. With you, it would never be like... Andy Goldstein, almost 50. Oh, I like that. That sounds great. No, that was last year or two years ago. Oh, okay. But Andy Goldstein, almost 51. No, you're right. I don't know why they do that. Why do they do that?
I just told you why. Have you forgotten already? Because your memory is terrible. Are we on yet? Have we started? My memory is so bad. I just told you. I don't know why they do. I just assume it's because they want to judge you. Oh, yeah, she's 52. Did you know that? But that wouldn't have bothered you when you were 21.
I just think it just always bothered me that they always needed to put it in. I just didn't understand it. I still don't understand it. Okay, so let's start at the beginning of that then, right? Yeah. So you've been a model for how long? Since I was 18. Okay, did you want to be a model? No. Okay, I was into that chair. I saw a picture of Christy Turlington, who's my favourite supermodel. Yeah. Beautiful. I used to go to... Is she the one with Billy Joel? No.
No. Christy Brinkley? Christy Brinkley. She's a little older. Christy's married to Ed Burns. Actor. Okay. Yeah, very famous. Brilliant guy. I'm going to say like I know them, Christy and Ed. I don't. I bet you've met them. No, I haven't never met her or him.
But a big fan of her. And I remember seeing her on the cover of Vogue magazine and I was leaving school and it was a poster in a newsagent and it sort of put it up on the stand. And I was just like, I just fell in love with her. I just thought she was the most beautiful, exquisite.
thing i'd ever seen and she's in this versace cat suit and she was kind of like curled up and i was like oh my god and there were a couple of girls at my school who were models but i was like and then i got scouted to be a modern and i was like are you kidding me like that's not gonna happen and then i kind of fell into it
I was never told when I was younger that you could be a model. But you're not... I've so got to be careful with my words. You're going to be so rude, aren't you? No, I'm not. If you want me to, I can. And I'm really good at it. You're not your traditional... model shape and what I mean by that is in my mind a catwalk model is so horrifically thin in my mind they're like they're they're dropping cotton wool into orange and eating that for lunch oh gosh
You've heard of that though, right? Is it called... It's called something. A pika. When you eat food that's not proper food, like paper, foam, cotton wool. Foam? Yeah, like from the chair. No one's eating foam. Why have you mimed what eating is? As if I didn't know. What does she mean eating? That means eating foam. Right, I get it. Why have you done that? I know what fucking eating is. All right.
Open up the chair and then eat it. No, but this is awful because this is an eating disorder. You shouldn't be laughing at this. No, no, no. Please tell me that's not real. It's real. So someone will go, these chairs aren't as good as they used to be.
I don't think they do it at their place of work because that would be rude. You do it at home, maybe. I don't think that's a real thing. Anyway, yeah. Hold on. No, no, no. Let's talk about that. Let's pause on this. No, we're going to talk about everything. Let's do some research and come back. No, we can talk about what we think we know. I think it's called a peeker. Why?
I don't know why it's called that, but certain people have this... I don't know if people eat chairs. No, they don't eat chairs. They eat bits of fabric, not fabric, materials that aren't supposed to be eaten. So cotton wool balls. Imagine that scratching on your teeth.
No, that'd be all right. It's not candy floss. It's fine, isn't it? I don't like that. Let's try it on the next podcast. I'll bring a foam chair in, right? You bring a bag of cotton wool in. It's not as if we're going to put on weight. Okay. But we were talking... Did you know anyone that ate a chair? No. Maybe we should call the podcast My Friend Ate A Chair. Do you have problems?
Why is it called my friend out of the chair? Listen to episode one. No, but you've heard of it, I'm sure. And it's a control thing. This is an eating disorder as well. So, you know, it's not a very nice thing. After we finish this podcast, you're going to go, I think we should cut that bit out. Of course I am. No, everything goes out, Lise. Okay.
All right? Stop laughing then. Right, but I'm not laughing at people that have got the disorder. I'm laughing at the fact that we were going to call the podcast My Friend Ate a Chair. No, you were going to call the podcast My Friend Ate a Chair. We should talk about how we know each other as well. Yeah, let's do that. This is jumping all over the...
I know, but that's the good thing about a podcast, right? And that's why people listen to it, because rather than it go one particular way, you go, I better listen to all of it, otherwise I'm going to miss something. Yeah. So how did we meet? Did we meet at Barry's wedding? No, we knew each other before then. Did we? Barry's Dave Barry. Dave Barry. Who you worked with on Capital. I think what it was was in the area that we live in, don't mention it, that I would see you in the high street.
And you do that thing, which you probably still do now. If you see someone and a familiar face, and you don't know them. You still do that now, right? Sort of non-committal. Yeah, I know what you do, I know what you do.
Which is weird. It's a weird world that we live in. What do you do though? You put your headphones in so you don't have to talk to anybody and pretend that you're actually on the phone. Did I tell you what happened the other day when I was walking with my headphones? That's what he actually genuinely does. No, because what it is, I don't know if I told you this because my memory's so bad, right?
But I walk, when I take my dog, Dr Scooter Frank, out for a walk, I put headphones in to listen to music, to speak to people on the phone. But also, if people want to... I've got headphones in, right? And you're like... It goes... I'm on the phone. I'm on the phone. Which I usually am. And then it rings in your hand. Right, so I think it was about two, three months ago. Didn't that happen?
Two, three months ago, I was walking along and so I went, oh yeah, Liverpool, because people wanted to talk to me about football. Yeah. And I went, on the phone. And I mimed to my ears like, I'm on the phone because I've got ear pods in. And he went, what? And I went, on the phone.
And he looked at me really weirdly. And as I walked off, I thought, fuck, I forgot to put my ear buds in. You didn't have them in? No. No, I was just walking. I've got built into my... What? Donut? Yeah, because I forgot.
Because I've got... But you can feel when they're in your ears. I just thought it was a natural... Oh, no. Oh, no. That's so blatantly rude. He's never going to speak to you again, will he? No, no, no, no. That's good, though. That's good. You didn't like him anyway. No, no, it's not. No, because you're going to... This is what Bentley does, right? This misconception about me talking to the gentleman.
public. I absolutely don't mind it. Normal civilians? I'm not insured to be near the general public. That is true. But what it is, is because of the football world that I work in is like no other world. Right? You'll never get someone come up to you randomly while you're waiting to buy a drink in a pub or check out a Marks and Sparks or whatever and go, Oi, what do you think of Christy Turlington? Is that her name?
And you'll go, well, I can't believe she modelled that thing. You go, what? Oh, when she was 20, what a terrible, off the shoulder. That would never happen to you. Right? But wherever I go, and I'm fine with it. Because you're controversial. No, I'm not controversial at all.
Oh, go on then, okay. A little bit. No, no, no, but listen. You don't listen to my show? No, I don't. Never. Not even once. Have you never listened to my show? No, I've never listened to it. How do you know I'm brilliant? I never listen to it. I tell you. Yeah, you do. It's all coming from you.
Well, you must be good because they've re-signed it a few times. I mean, who knows how much longer it's going to last. That's why we're doing this, right? Yeah, exactly. Just in case. Just in case. In case it all dries out. But...
I don't know. I do get people saying, oh, I saw the other day, like, how amazing was that? That outfit you put on that lady. So I do get it. What outfit did you put on the lady? Well, I did this morning. So I'm all about empowering women. So we get the women up who are our viewers on the catwalk at the studio and we get them all dressed up.
and suited and booted and they walk out onto the catwalk, they have their hair and makeup done, you know, and they're like, you know. Have you ever had a woman, you've gone, no, never. Never. Snowy? Never. Why are you smiling? You are. I'm not. I'm serious about this. Come on, there must have been one where you've gone, have we got a tent? Has anyone? No.
It's always like, and it's more about making them feel good, you know, getting their hair and makeup done, giving them a special moment or two, a few hours in the day. This is one thing we need to talk about. Confidence. No, and clothes you wear as you get older.
Yeah. I've started wearing, because I work with a lot of young kids. Yeah, your trainer obsession. Right, I've started wearing trainers, but I can't wear them with jeans. Because I wouldn't say these are skinny jeans, would you? They are skinny. But they're not... They're straight. They're straight. Straight, but they're not like skin-tight. No, but they kind of go into a... Yeah, like if I was on a stage at Nedworth in a band, I'd wear these. Yeah. But all the kids nowadays are wearing...
What are they wearing? A bit baggier. Right. Nice baggier. And that's what you wear with trainers? Yeah. Or you fold them up, roll them up, and do your trainers like Japanese style with a bit of a turn up. Oh, okay. Yeah. But you need a bit of a wider ankle going on with your trainers, for sure. Unless I start wearing cargo trousers.
Pants, what are they called? Cargo pants. Right. Drowsers. It's right, you can say either. Which I've started to do because I'm surrounded. Well, this is it. I'm surrounded by 27, 26, 23-year-old. Yeah. Guys and girls. You're trying to keep up. You're probably down with the kids. Yeah. Yeah. So, and that's one of the things you think, can I get away? The other day I put an oversized grey jumper on. Like that? And I look like Tom Hanks at the end of Big. How oversized?
Like massive? No, no. No, just too big. And I look at it and I think, it just looks too big on me. Right. Right? Well, yeah, it's the way you wear it, really. I know, but there must... If you had them on with those jeans, definitely not good. Oh, you need bags? Yeah, because you've got a really tight bottom and then a baggy top. It's like a little ass.
Who's the pervert now? No, it's just about the proportion. So if you've got like, you know, and I say that with us ladies, it's like you can put a shoulder pad in to give you that proportion and it makes everything else look a little bit smaller.
and then you kind of want to kick it out again. What do you make of my dress today? Yeah, you look all right. I mean, he's wearing wallabies, which I used to wear back in the 90s for raving. I love them. Yeah, but there's such a big butt coming up. No, I do like them, but...
But there you go, there's the butt. I would prefer them with a bit of a turn-up, a bit more Japanese style. What, the jeans? Yeah, but they're too narrow. Let's do it now. No, they're too narrow. Let's do it now, see what you think. No, don't roll them. That looks better, though. I don't think he does. I think he does. I just think we need to... go shopping for a pair of jeans that are you don't she's what she's rolling my my jeans up no i'm happy like that
Listen, it's fine. I've never looked at you and been like, gosh, that man dresses terribly. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. It's not hideous. Like, I still will be seen with you. But there's work we can do. Is there? Is there? Oh, I didn't know this. This is good. Well, you've just said you've got a brilliant trainer collection, but you can't wear any of them with jeans, so you can only wear them with cargo pants. So, like, that's ridiculous.
Right. This is new stuff now to me. Get you a good pair of jeans, a couple of pairs of wider jeans. They have to be really baggy. Do I have to go back to the All Saints Maharishi baggy baggies? Right. And go a little bit wider, just in the leg. I'll tell you what we'll do. Maybe this will be one of the things we film.
And we put it out with the podcast. I don't know how that works, but we could do that. All right? We haven't really talked about the rules of the podcast. I don't know how long we're in. How long are we in? Fucking hell, we're nearly finished. Jesus. What? Just load around. I told you. We haven't spoken about. Eyes, teeth, your memory, bones, all sorts of stuff. Bones? Who fucking wrote bones down? I've got bone problems. What are your bones problems? No, it's just...
Bone? I've got bone problems. Lisa, the doctor will see you now. Hello, Lisa. I've got fucking bone problems. Okay, pop yourself on the store. Just bone problems. Take the S out. What are your bone problems? That's so not... I've got osteo... I'm osteopenic. What the fuck are you talking about? Exactly. That's just a thing you've made up. No, I have osteopenia. Isn't that a place near Switzerland?
Where are you going? I'm only going to osteopenia. Now I'm having a hot flush, see? This is all the stuff that happens as you get older. Bones, flushes. Bones! Me fucking bones. Well, do you know what we're going to... Every episode needs a name. Glasses, I need glasses. Every episode needs a name. This one's going to be called Me Fucking Bones, this episode.
Yes, a doctor called me and told me I'm osteopenia. What's osteopenia? I'm like one stage away from osteoporosis. Fucking hell, what's that? Exactly. What do you mean one stage? What, an hour, a month, a year? I don't know. Lord knows. That's why I'm having a big cup of milk. Oh, because that'll solve it, will it?
Oi, you've got a bone problem? Have a fucking... No, you do. You need calcium, you need vitamin D, you need to do weight-bearing exercises, you need to know about these things. Right, let's just go back a bit. No. Yeah, you've got osteopenia... What is it? Osteopenia. Osteopenic. Right. And that is what? It's a degenerative...
Degenerative. So basically, what happens is you get older. It happens in men too, but mostly women. Your bones become brittle and fragile, and that's something that we're really trying to avoid. So that's why I take HRT to keep my bones strong. I go to the gym and do weight-bearing. So then, what's HRT? Hormone replacement therapy. Is that the cream? It's creams, it's sprays. We need to do a whole episode on that. It's pessaries, it's all sorts of stuff.
You can take it pills, you can put patches on. But why have you got it? Well, it could be hereditary. My mum has osteoporosis. And when you have osteoporosis, it means that if you fall, you're more likely to break a bone. it's harder to get it to fuse back together. So you can hurt yourself, you can break your hips. It's really become very fragile and very brittle. And you have to take medication for that.
So fuck me, I'm getting old. It's an age thing too. And nothing you can do to reverse that? No, I can reverse it. So I'm doing vitamin D. I'm taking more of my collagen. I'm taking more calcium, not only in milk, but in lots of leafy green veg. Listen, I thought I was beating the system. I already eat... really well I already go to the gym I already take my HRT like what the hell if I hadn't been doing all of that I would just be like a pile of bones on the floor fucking bones like bust it up
And there's nothing you can do to avoid that. It's happening. Well, you can do all the things I told you about. When did you find out you were also... So I did a DEXA bone scan in December. Hold on. What? DEXA bone scan. It's a scan that...
It's a scan that checks your bones. Why did you put the word dex in that sentence? Dexa. It's a dexa bone scan. And what does that mean? I was going to say it dexes your bones, but I said it wrong. It just checks your bones to see how... Stop laughing. It's serious. Sorry. Don't throw some fucking hell, right? Give me my notes back. Sorry, they're notes, are they? But chat about my bones.
Yeah, so I found out. This is a bit annoying. I didn't find out for four months. So I kept calling surgery. You had the scan? They're like, yeah, I have the results in three weeks. Did you go private? No. Are you private covered? Yes. Why don't you go private? Because I want to... Do you use the NHS? What do you pay privately for, then? For other stuff. What? I'm sorry, how ill were you? For my other stuff. I go, Bones NHS.
the thing as you get older you need to check everything you keep checking eyes tits everything why are you pointing to them you need to have like scans and this is what men are worried about You won't, yeah. Because I don't know if we've got time for my prostate exam chat. Yeah, always. Right. So I think there's a massive taboo, right? Take the word tits out. I hate that word. That's staining.
Right? I told you, I'm so fucking lazy, everything's stayed in. Okay, fine. Why don't you edit it? I love it so natural, Andy. Yeah, we just couldn't be fucked to edit it. For men, having a prostate exam. What age do you have to start that? Um...
I think you're meant to be 40, I think. 40 almonds. Just have a little check. But now you can... Maybe he's 50. By the way, there's no medical advice coming out of this podcast. But now you can have it with blood, right? You can have a blood test. Although I'm not sure the blood test is as...
Great. No, I think it might be. But anyway, speak to your GP. So I thought, this is what I thought, right? So I had to have a prostate exam about a year ago. I can't remember what it was for, right? Thankfully, everything was fine. Were you struggling with something?
I've never struggled with anything. Why did you point towards your testicles? No, not the front. Maybe at the back. Maybe you were going to the loo and it was hurting. No, I'll tell you what it was. Do you want me to tell you what it was? Yeah. I mean, we can... No, I think we should. So, when I was pooing, it was like pebble dashing. Oh.
Not pebble dashing, tarmacking. What? And the reason for that was I was drinking too much whiskey of an evening. Right. Because my, not that I'm an alcoholic, but my evening show, I don't do the evening show now.
But I used to finish at 1am, come home and have a glass of whiskey. And I'm doing that five nights a week. And I literally was doing a bottle of whiskey a week. Right. Which is fucking nuts. So it just was like ripping out your... He's killing me, right? But I was like, this is not right. So I went to the doctor's and he put one up the...
bum one down the throat not the same one I think they washed it we'll start with that one and then go up there well he said do you want it washed I went nah fuck it it's my body gross and thankfully it was fine But part of all of that was a prostate exam. And I, as a man, men are quite, you get embarrassed when you go to the doctor and you go stripped from the waist below.
And so I thought prostate exam was like, right, take all your clothes off and get, but what it is, and men, this is quite important because it really can save a life. And I've talked about this on air before is that you roll onto your, imagine now you clothed.
You roll onto your side and you put your knees to your chest, still cloaked. And then you just pull down the back of your trousers and your pants. So you're still cloaked. Just a little bit. And then they put the finger up your bum for about three seconds. Longer if you ask.
Yeah, of course. Just keep it there. Depends how you know him. Leave it there, man. How long for? Hour? It's up to you. Is it always a man that does it, or sometimes can it be a lady? It was a man that did it. I don't know if... It can be a woman. But... He was a man that did mine. And it was like three seconds. And that was it. When we leave here, right, will you go, I didn't like that episode. So I did a podcast with Ian Wright years ago.
And after every podcast. And they were all brilliant. Of course, it's Ian Wright. No, no, no. But they were all brilliant, right? He had a bit of help. But they were all brilliant. They all went to number one. They all go, as these will, right? Because I'm confident. And after every episode.
What do you think? I'm not sure. Next day, phone me up. I think we should re-record that one. No, it's fine. Every episode. How will you be with this? I've really enjoyed it. I thought it'd work. Yeah, I've enjoyed it. I've really enjoyed it. It's been funny.
Is it going to be called Oh Me Fucking Bones? No. But this episode could be. That's what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This episode could be, but not the title of the thing. Oh Me Fucking Bones. Okay. Yeah. All right. So in the next one we do. Yep. I mean, it's ridiculous it's gone that quick.
Well, my dad's just come out of... Well, let's do the parent update. We'll do parent update. Dad's had knee replacement surgery. I'll talk to you more about that. All the gadgets and stuff I've been using on him. He's like a science project. He's hooked up to all sorts of machines. How old's your dad? He's 72. He's young.
That is young. When did he have the operation? Last week. Just a few days ago, basically. Is he of sound mind? Yeah, he's totally of sound mind. He's quite grumpy. Yeah, but old people are. He's not that old, you just said. He's just setting his ways. It's just hard, especially when you've got to rely on people to help you. Do you know what I mean? When your dad's 72, we're 50, you're 52, right? When does our age become their age?
In 20 years' time. No, no, no. I don't think we will, though, because, like... Do you know what I mean? There's such a big gap. We were talking about this earlier. It's like, do you know what I mean? We know so much more now. We want to prevent rather than cure, don't we? So we want to do things that are going to stop us from getting to the...
getting to have to have knee replacements and hip replacements and things like that. This is about longevity. This is about prevention rather than cure. So I think that we know so much more. We're going to delve deeper into all of that. We're going to give loads of advice. We're going to speak. We're going to get proper advice as well.
things that we can do to kind of like press pause slightly on the things that are giving us jip okay we'll do that yeah we'll also in these wonderful studios there are more mics that can be used. Have a few little cheeky guests. My plan is that we'll get guests in. Yeah, really old ones. No, I'm joking. Well, okay, what's the premise for a guest? They've got to be at least 50. Okay, I like that. Yeah. Okay, that's fine. 50 and over. Let me ask you, because we both know people in the...
in the public eye, so we should be okay with some big names coming in. We've both got big numbers in our phone book, right? I'm not going to name names, but when I talked to you last week about if you had an event, I don't want to say what the event is.
Who would you invite? And you mentioned someone. I don't remember this conversation. Oh, for fuck's sake, you do. My memory's good. I don't remember this. Are you sure we had this conversation? Yeah. No, no, no. I'm going to show you a picture of the person, right?
Oh, I can't. Hold on, we're on airplay mode. I'm going to show you, because I'm going to ask, if this person was in this country, right? That person. Yeah. Would he come in? Maybe. Wow. Maybe. Okay. Can't promise. Do you want to say the name? No. Okay, fine. No promises. We won't make promises we can't keep. I'll make a promise. These will be fucking great. We haven't even talked about the level of swearing. No.
But the level's been fine. Yep. Because I had a cup of coffee with you a couple of weeks ago about swearing levels and you said don't mention the C word. Yeah. And I won't mention the C word. I think you will. I won't. You'll drop it at some point. I won't. I promise you I won't. What, Christmas? Yeah. But yeah, I'm happy with where we're at. Episode one. Yeah. Done and dusted. Done. How good was that?
It's really easy, isn't it? And this episode has made us like 10 grand each. It's amazing. That is not going in. Yeah, it is going in. I can't be bothered to edit the thing. We're not making 10 grand each. No, we're really not. But when we, on the next episode, we'll talk about how much money you made modelling. No. Not we'll talk about money at all. It's so crude. Okay, I'll Google it and find out. If anyone wants to contact us, you can get us on Instagram. Yeah.
I'm Andy Goldstein05. I'm Lisa underscore Snowden. All right, well, thank you for listening to episode one. Yeah, thank you for sticking with us. I hope you did. Well, I think... Had us on really fast forward, really, really... No, no, no. Just to get to the end. Fast forward to the bones bit. Forget the people who eat chairs. Forget that. That was awful.
That was awful. I think... I'm going to... On the way home, I'm going to be like, oh, my God. You know when you wake up and you've been drinking too much the next day, you think, what did I say? You've got the fear. I've got the fear. That's fine. Fear. As long as that's the problem you wake up. Where the fuck's that chair gone? I swear we brought it new to George. Where's the chair gone? I think there's a hole in the arm of the chair. It's only fair...
that as I start the podcast, you should always end it. Okay. All right? Yeah. What's it called again? Oh, yeah. What is it called? We're not getting any younger. Yeah. Okay. Because we were like, fuck me, we're old, but that's just too aggressive. Yeah. Okay, thank you so much, everybody listening to. We're not getting any younger. We promise episode two is going to be even better.
But big love from both of us, and we'll have an email for you to contact us next time as well. And remember, we're not doctors either, so don't listen to anything we've said. If we do, just take a bit of a pinch of salt. Or Google it. Or Google it. Thanks for listening, everyone. It's been fun. We'll be back soon. Bye.