Bill’s calling in from the Podcast Shed, but he’s fresh of a Sparks show and feeling good. Kelley and Mary are about to go to Jackie Kashian at the Crocodile. The podcast gets interrupted by a mouse, so Kelley disappears for a minute, but what an opportunity to tell some mouse stories! Rant and Rave – Can we guess the one Mary wrote? As always, yes we can. Ice Cream Truck of the Week: Tulips! Rest in Peace to local Seattle sports broadcasting great John Clayton. The Seattle Aquarium is The Bomb,...
Mar 25, 2022•41 min
We’re off to a great start, with no sound check, but we’re all together! Mary and Bill went to Nate Bargatze at the Moore, and it was great, but the crowd was a bit belligerent. Mary has a dead mouse situation. Bill has a theory that no one is very smart. We have a roundabout conversation about Cheaper by the Dozen and do a Reader’s Digest quiz. Kelley’s Hint List! Eliminate colored bulbs for energy savings. Hang pants by the cuffs to remove wrinkles. Choose proper material for draperies. Umpire...
Mar 19, 2022•34 min
Kelley and Mary are on a girl’s trip, and we have Bill on the phone! We reminisce about Mary breaking her collarbone last time she visited Orcas Island. Mary wants recordings of her favorite farts, or something? Bill is a little further into the Avengers, and he can’t even commit to finishing, unless they change the animation style to “Roger Rabbit.” The trend of dark movies and shows. Does Mary ever get sick? We don’t know, but she does get stuck in an elevator! Kelley’s Hint List! Use traction...
Mar 12, 2022•31 min
Sorry for the super late release, this week, folks! But we have a super special show for you, the long awaited Who's on First episode! Bill and Kelley try reading the bit made famous by Abbott and Costello. Then Kelley and Mary give it a go, and pull an amazing mid-script switcharoo! Enjoy! Umpire Pants Out!
Mar 07, 2022•28 min
We’re live in person, and using Bill’s creaky table! We recap our Super Bowl party. Has the Random Restaurant bot Twitter account make you want to visit anywhere? What do Recycle Bitch and Sugar Tits have in common? Bill watched Bullitt. Max gets antsy so we take an early break. The French Connection also has a car chase scene. Mary’s mad at a podcast she hasn’t even listened to you yet. Are we going to have to spend the night in a haunted house? We’re doing Who’s on First next week. Clash of th...
Feb 26, 2022•43 min
We recorded this before the Superbowl, but Bill’s prediction that Kelley didn’t understand was dead on. Update on Douglas, the Squirrel. What do the movies Never Cry Wolf and Doc Hollywood have in common? Who remembers Dudley Moore? Mary has a controversial Rant and Rave printed in the paper. Mary’s Red Robin penny scheme. Finding lost objects. Should our family invent a birthday song? Kelley’s Hint List! Smush your old gross soap together! We discuss why we were all so impacted by the Irish Spr...
Feb 18, 2022•48 min
YOU GUYS, WE ARE STILL DOING THE PODCAST, WE'RE JUST STRUGGLING THROUGH FEBRUARY. WE'LL SEE YOU SOON BECAUSE WE LOVE OUR NUTBALLS!!! XOXO KELLEY AND THE GANG The rock tumbler update you’ve all been waiting for! Cutting our own hair during the pandemic. Bill had the ultimate bad start to the day. We brag about our state’s legal weed, again, and try to get a sponsorship going. Making an everyday activity your hobby. We get an impressive stair update! Guess what celebrities has Mary been compared t...
Feb 10, 2022•59 min
Bill is gone, Mary is hungry and hung-over, and I’m not going to lie, this one is a shit show. Felix is here, though! Mary went out howling last night, even though she’s doing dry January. We get back on track with Rant and Raves. There is playoff football on, so Mary is distracted. School update from Felix. Ramen talk. Mary has a message just for Christy! Listen up! Kelley’s Hint List! How to revive a velvet gown. Use an old blanket to protect linoleum from your appliances. Don’t use oil over w...
Feb 04, 2022•34 min
It’s a Mary and Kelley Ep, because Bill has COVID-19. Sorry about that, but we’ll be back on track someday. Not next week, though, Bill is out again then, but seriously, someday! The delight of a sunny day in the middle of a rainy January. Mary is taking a new jewelry class, and, not to brag, she hasn’t even glued her fingers together yet! We try to talk about Meatloaf, the singer, but we don’t have a lot to say, since we’re not fans. We remember Louis Anderson. Mary has a rubber balloon update....
Jan 28, 2022•31 min
I explain why this is being released late (but not why it’s still a day late, give me a break). Pandemic isn’t going great, folks, and Covid-19 has finally hit our family. Weather report: bong breaking cold. We wonder why you’d do yoga outside this time of year. We share dumb things we wrote down this week, brighter lights, jack in the boxes, and connecting the dots on detective shows. Cool dudes standing up for cancelled men. The High and Mighty podcast gave Kelley a good dumpling idea. Kelley’...
Jan 21, 2022•31 min
***I found the SD card! Yes, me, Kelley, not my husband at all, it was me! Enjoy this now outdated episode, everyone.*** It’s episode 227 and we’re hoping you fondly remember the TV show, and it rubs off on our podcast. Bill is making fondue for New Year’s, but he’s resisting the idea of adding baked beans for some reason. Mary assumes we know what a corm is, and boy is she wrong. Mary loves to make wrapping paper, and to get mad at us for not appreciating it. Rest in peace to Betty White. (We p...
Jan 11, 2022•36 min
HEY SO I LOST THE SD CARD THIS WEEK'S EP IS SAVED ON. I'M CONVINCED IT'S IN MY APARTMENT STILL, BUT I'M ALREADY A DAY LATE POSTING, SO ENJOY THIS RETRO EPISODE FROM ABOUT A YEAR AGO. XOXO - KELLEY The first day of winter was a doozy in the Seattle area. We remember a weird antique store with a creepy doll room. Getting lost driving. Mary is going to try Dry January. Ice Cream Truck of the Week: The John Carpenter Movie They Live. Mary is setting up a hummingbird fight club, and thinks cats will ...
Jan 05, 2022•1 hr 2 min
It's the holidays, and we kind of just got off track this week, so you're getting a re-run, but don't fret, it's a good one! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! XOXOXO Well, we tried, we failed, we learned nothing along the way, and we are still mad at each other. Enjoy this weeks long journey through the pandemic, where Mary refuses to join the herd and wear comfortable pants, Kelley desperately tries to convince her, and Bill is just sort of amused by how it all plays out. Umpire Pants Out!
Dec 27, 2021•42 min
Bill calls in for a short boy on a Sunday! Gathering with family as a new Covid variant emerges. Kelley and Mary are doing Christmas shit. The cats are in charge in our households. Ice Cream Truck of the Week: Making Crunchwraps at home! Reviews of Cooking Recipes! But first, Bill reviews Casa Blanca, because Mary can’t find her review. We hear about a corn bread stuffing recipe, and how to deal with living in the PNW through the shitty weather. We saw a goat and it really made an impression. Ke...
Dec 21, 2021•37 min
It’s a late record, it’s a short boy, and we’re off to a great start. Bill and Mary can’t handle dirty dishes anymore. Do we need to do a welfare check on Jay Leno? We have a short chat about Christmas music, and Mary claims to know something about inflation. Bill reveals he was dying for Underoos as a kid. We’re all boosted up – get vaccinated folks! Kelley wants to brag about donating blood and it gets rambly. Mary has an elevator etiquette problem, and Kelley and Bill are not buying it, but t...
Dec 13, 2021•41 min
The gang’s back together, but Kelley didn’t hit record, like a dipshit, so we try to recap what we lost. The Arches of Science are giving us Kraken spoilers. We’re excited Impossible burgers are available at the new stadium! Mary wants you to stop the show and tell a friend to listen. Bill is going to distribute his famous Chocolate Pie recipe. Should we be recording all our kid’s performances? Kelley and Bill need to take a sibling trip to sort out family photos. Bill has a strange story of pay...
Dec 06, 2021•1 hr 3 min
Bill calls in from the Podcast Shed on this Black Friday record! We recap Thanksgiving and Bill has a forest creature pop in. How did our chocolate pie tradition start? What movies are we watching this weekend? CSI Miami talk. Sir Mix-a-Lot was at the Westlake tree lighting, but it was still pretty boring. We come back from the break without Bill and Kelley makes Mary defend her sweet potatoes from Thanksgiving. Mary tells a tale of trying to track down a guy on the street she feels like she owe...
Nov 28, 2021•37 min
Sorry for the late release, folks! We’re kicking off the holiday week with another short and sloppy boy! Non-listener Meaghan joins Kelley and fits right in with an Ernst reference before we even hit record. We chat about the Kraken theme song by Aaron Jones that gets played before games, and then discover the Mariners have an odd official theme, but it has nothing on the Orlando Magic’s song that is making a comeback. What did the Fly Girls wear, anyway? And why did Kelley assume everyone would...
Nov 23, 2021•28 min
We come out slow and sloppy with an electricity joke. BLACK STALLION SPOILERS are a potential here, because Mary is getting the Black Stallion from the library, and has Nate Bargatze tickets coming up, so she’s got things to look forward to! What movies are better than the books they’re based on? Bill says Jaws and The Godfather. Mary regrets reading Lord of the Rings. Superman talk. Mary got more Rant and Raves in the paper and we see if we can figure out which one is hers. Mary is taking a jew...
Nov 15, 2021•41 min
Surprise intro! Mary’s coming in hot, but in denial about it. We discuss Aaron Roger’s dipshit interview. Bill brags about reaching stuff off the top shelf for strangers, and Mary reminds us of her short-legged life hack for that very situation. Mary has adopted a street, but gets mad at us and barely finishes telling us about it. Bill confesses he has a gas leaf blower. Bill has some old guy musings regarding Snoop Dogg and Cheers. Halloween wrap-up. Mary brought the Seattle Joke book, and boy ...
Nov 08, 2021•56 min
The crew is all here, and Bill has a kerosene update. Bill went to a cabin and couldn’t figure out how to make coffee. We have a major update on a recent hint! We talk about shoes and clothes. Mary wants to know what we’d hoard, but we’re confused by her question. Trying unusual foods. Ice cream treats. The Gambler movie. Mary has taken up a new hobby – disc golf! Recipes from First Graders! Has Kelley ever made a cookie? Kelley’s Hint List! Use alcohol on mirrors. Test ammonia before using on f...
Nov 01, 2021•43 min
It’s our spooky special Halloween episode! Kelley has a Halloween soundboard, so get ready for mis-timed spooky sounds! We talk about our favorite and least favorite Halloween candies, best costumes we’ve worn, and the last time we went trick-or-treating. Favorite scary movies. Mary’s childhood Texas Halloweens. Bill talks about some memorable Halloween parties. MARY MADE US REMOVE THE BREAK SONG - SORRY NUTBALLS. We return with our first “caller” listener Juniper! Juniper suggests a great inven...
Oct 25, 2021•1 hr 16 min
It’s a Kelley and Mary episode. Bill will be back next week, and we’re looking for Halloween callers, so let us know if you’re available! Mary’s had another run-in with super glue and we discuss solutions. King Kong Vs. Donkey Kong – Kelley got them confused for a moment. We get into people that Mary gets confused with other people. Buying pumpkin pies. Mary tried disc golf, and she has some practicing to do. Should we make this drink with sour cream from an old Wrigley’s advertisement? Kelley a...
Oct 17, 2021•34 min
Mary and Kelley will be back next week, and Bill will be back someday, but until then, enjoy this classic Halloween episode Ep! It's our Halloween episode, Bill got a sound board, Mary doesn't like Halloween, yo-yo routine scarecrow, Mary gets a phone call, turds, people not liking you, parties, bobbing for apples, costumes, Blues Brothers, gypsy (roma), wizard, princess, topical costumes, clown, food coloring face, candy, cat costume, pumpkins, we have a breakthrough, contest, Best of So Far, s...
Oct 12, 2021•1 hr 3 min
We’re doing a short boy, and guys, we can’t help but bring Gumby right away. Bill found a five leaf clover. Mary hates everything, but a weed White Elephant is a good idea. Mary tried a new method to keep her cats off the counter. Mary pretends to not understand the concept of recycled fleece. We should bring back Redmond’s Heritage festival but make it a more inclusive cultural fesitval. Recipes from First Graders! Kelley’s Hint List!
Oct 05, 2021•37 min
We’re back in person, and Bill is worse than ever. Best American rock band? I think we’re sticking with CCR. The Space Force revealed their uniforms. Mary thought she found a perfect watch, but it turns out it’s more corporate than she thought. More Jeopardy talk, the host saga continues. Mary is searching for new furniture and we’re all trying to de-clutter since we’re still at home all the time. Supply chain issues. What’s the republican end-game with infecting as many as possible with Covid-1...
Sep 27, 2021•51 min
Bill is out with TMJ issues, but his testicles are also HUGE. Our dad Russel is here to tell a story of how he “almost” got in a fight. Mary’s Shit List of the Week: Modern Family is no longer on nightly. Mary found a wallet. Remember how bad your feet hurt as a kid? Mary has a bagel story (the story is mostly that she mean to the bagel guy). Get your FLU SHOTS folks! Kelley is really into Giant Vegetable Twitter. Kelley and Mary argue about giant pumpkins. Kelley’s Hint List! We read a repeat: ...
Sep 20, 2021•34 min
We come in hot and sloppy with this remote recording! Mary’s edibles got ruined by humidity. Oh Word! We talk about misunderstandings resulting from figuring things out when you’re thrown into another culture. Bill went to Megadeath. Mary didn’t listen to our podcast even though she was on an airplane for 10 hours this week, so we’ll talk about the best American band next week. Mary is mad someone drank her beer. Tune in to find out Gumby’s Dad’s name. Ice Cream Truck of the Week: Costco Milk Ch...
Sep 12, 2021•52 min
Mary is still in Costa Rica, but she’ll be back soon. Right off the bat, Kelley can’t pretend they aren’t recording two in a row. Do we even want to go to NFL games this year? Bill argues for CCR as the best American rock band, Kelley never put it together that Center Field was John Fogerty. Bill is going to Megadeath. Tell people when you like their stuff, and be quiet when you don’t. Ice Cream Truck of the Week: Being nice to entertainers you like (and the show Lady Dynamite and Paul F. Tomkin...
Sep 07, 2021•47 min
Kelley and Bill are together and Mary calls in for the second half. Bill wants more carved watermelons. The cat is fine days later, folks, but we do find out live on the air that Lima got a double dose of pills the day we recorded – and I was too lazy to edit it out! Bill goes to the doctor and gets typical doctor advice. Walking the dog. This is a Gumbo Podcast now. Kelley gets confused coming back from the break. Mary calls in from Costa Rica and it doesn’t sound great, but we do our best. Rec...
Aug 30, 2021•37 min
