Why is it so hard to say goodbye and what do we miss when we don't? In this episode, we will examine the benefits of healthy detachment and the elements of how to have a meaningful goodbye. Also, we will practice a healthy goodbye in that this, episode 50, will be the final episode of Try, Try Again with Katherine Velez. It is a goodbye so please don't avoid it. Episodes will continue to be available. As always, you can continue to reach me at katherinekempvelez.com or I will see you in session....
Jul 05, 2021•11 min
This episode looks at questions that sometimes arise around therapy such as how is your relationship with your therapist different from any other relationship you will have? What is psychotherapy and what is the ultimate goal? Is talking to yourself just as effective as talking to a therapist? The answers might surprise you.
Jun 28, 2021•12 min
How we attach in our most intimate interpersonal relationships can drive addiction and misuse of substances and behaviors. This episode looks at one compilation couple and how the addiction is a symptom, a consequence and a maladaptive solution, to one's learned inability to sustain healthy and satisfying relationships, often with self and others. A learned inability is hopeful because that means it can also be unlearned.
Jun 21, 2021•14 min
This is the first of several episodes addressing addiction in relationship to self and others. In order to understand addiction, we must first define it and that is today's episode. It is important to have an agreed upon definition and I encourage you to bring this to our time together. If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, please reach out to a therapist and perhaps share this episode and/or the resources it contains.
Jun 14, 2021•13 min
Getting older is often a source of fear and worry. Much of that is related to how we have seen others age and our fear of the unknown. In this episode we look at the benefits of aging, and there are many, as well as what we can do now to help improve ourselves as we continue this earthly journey. As always you can reach me at katherinekempvelez.com.
Jun 07, 2021•8 min
Relational betrayal is heartbreaking, violating, traumatic, and not uncommon. It can be devastating, but it can also be transformative. In this episode we look at the most important factors in deciding whether to stay in the relationship and the two most important questions that need to be answered. As always, you can reach me at katherinekempvelez.com. Please bring any feedback or questions into our sessions together.
May 31, 2021•16 min
Today's episode continues to look at relationship and marriage, offering perspectives to help find the will to do the work, embrace the growth, go back to the beginning, and truly explore the meaning of giving yourselves to one another. As always, you can reach me at katherinekempvelez.com with any questions or insights.
May 24, 2021•9 min
Do you find yourself arguing in your relationship, usually about small things? Does it feel like you are not connecting, not being heard, and moving farther apart? Today's episode features a communication technique to help you and your partner become more emotionally connected and, when practiced, reduce or even eliminate much arguing or bickering. Additionally, this episode might introduce you to a different way of thinking about how to make progress in your life and your relationships based on...
May 17, 2021•10 min
If you are married, considering marriage or are divorced, today’s episode might be of interest to you. You have the ability to improve your relationship and, perhaps, even avoid divorce now or in the future. Why do people marry and what is the single biggest risk factor to a healthy relationship? As always, you can reach me at katherinekempvelez.com with any questions or if you need referrals.
May 10, 2021•15 min
Seeing our way through the darkness and pain can feel overwhelming and impossible at times. Our mind often goes to questions like, "Why does it hurt so much?" and "Why do I have to be in such pain?" If you are suffering right now, today's episode is meant to hopefully shed a little light on the path of enduring and using the pain you might be feeling, finding comfort and release along the way. As always, if you need to reach me, you can at katherinekempvelez.com.
May 03, 2021•10 min
Have you been feeling restless, guilty you haven't been more productive this last year, unmotivated, uncertain? Perhaps this last year was not a time to get more done, but maybe it is what our ancestors knew was often necessary for the earth and for ourselves- a fallow season. In today's episode we talk about ancient wisdom and the healing property of spending time with our ancestors...right now.
Apr 26, 2021•11 min
Are you feeling stuck lately? It is a common feeling, especially this last year. If you think you've tried everything and you're still feeling there is no forward momentum in your life or relationships, consider these eleven behaviors and beliefs that may be causing or contributing to that feeling of stuckness. This examination is not necessarily easy, but some of these may resonate with you and help you regain your footing on a new path.
Mar 27, 2021•16 min
Do you feel helpless when you hear of prejudice and violence and tell yourself there is nothing you can do? Do you believe you have no biases and so you are not part of the problem? Today's episode is challenging. It challenges us to look at our biases, conscious and unconscious, and how that exploration could improve your understanding and empowerment of yourself and your relationship with others.
Mar 22, 2021•10 min
What is unconditional love, why is it important, and why do some people seem to achieve more easily than others? This episode answers questions around unconditional love as well as the one that many of us ask ourselves, "What's wrong with me?" Listen and find out!
Mar 15, 2021•9 min
If you or someone you love is feeling stuck or feeling that something is holding you back, this episode may help pinpoint and explore why. And it's probably not only Covid! We look at exercises to explore the feelings behind and beneath feeling stuck as well as how our loved ones can help us unearth some of our fears and practice vulnerability with more self-awareness and a growth mindset improving our relationship with ourselves and our loved ones.
Mar 08, 2021•14 min
This episodes is for individuals and couples alike. Does your partner think working overtime to get a bonus is the priority and you think family dinner is more important? Do you think of yourself as quite honest and then find yourself rationalizing white lies? Do you dream of adventures, but never get to the planning stage? These are often matters of core values; what is most meaningful and important in life to you and your partner. In this episode we look at why core values matter so much and I...
Mar 01, 2021•6 min
When couples enter a therapist's office, one of the top reasons for being there is communication. In this episode we explore what that means and when a couple might need to find a couples therapist. Also, I provide you with a communication exercise that, while talked about in terms of a couple, translates as a template to use in any relationship. As always, you can reach me at katherinekempvelez.com with questions or concerns.
Feb 21, 2021•20 min
Valentine's Day can be a celebration and recognition of love, not just romantic love. In fact, viewing that day as simply a day for lovers leaves a large number of us out and fails in acknowledging the many variations and shades and struggles that love itself often highlights. In todays episode I wax on, just a little, about the exclusionary nature of this romantic holiday and how we might celebrate all kinds of love instead.
Feb 15, 2021•8 min
In today's episode I introduce you to a woman who was one of my teachers in this life. She taught me something about grief and loss and how emotions like joy, grief, fear, and longing coexist. She taught me about the importance of putting those emotions in perspective, with gratitude for all of them.
Feb 07, 2021•10 min
Do you ever find yourself making unhealthy choices over and over only to sink into guilt or self-criticism? Do you wonder why you overeat or drink too much or use porn or gambling to soothe yourself? Would you like to make changes? This episode helps explain what is happening in your physiology that may be contributing to your struggles with alcohol, food or other unhealthy habits. I also provide several exercises you can use immediately to start making healthier choices and changes in your life...
Jan 31, 2021•18 min
Are the opinions of others more important to you than your own? Do you struggle when others are uncomfortable? Do things need to be, or seem, perfect? This episode addresses some of the core steps to knowing and loving yourself, which, in turn, has a powerful impact of being able to set healthy boundaries and let go of needing others to approve.
Jan 18, 2021•10 min
How often during an average week do you experience anger? Are you struggling in relationship because of anger and your difficulty in expressing your feelings? If you would like to examine why you're angry and how to control this important and sometimes dangerous and destructive emotion, this podcast might help. As always let me know how you're feeling at katherinekempvelez.com.
Jan 10, 2021•13 min
Let's start this year with more learning and better sleep. In this episode we look at some of the bad habits we might have picked up in 2020 and how to improve our sleep and our brain with science and an old-school, stress-reduction sleep remedy. This might surprise you.
Jan 03, 2021•9 min
The holidays are not always a time of merriment and pleasure. For some it is a time of mourning and pain. At the very least, for many, it is stressful and filled with pressure. Do you sometimes feel empty after the busyness of the holiday season and why is that? Are you seeking and searching for something that seems elusive? I hope today's message speaks to you and, if it does, please reach out.
Dec 25, 2020•8 min
The expectations and need to accomplish things can overwhelm us, particularly this time of year and this particular year. It sometimes robs us of the joy and contentedness in our lives and our parenting. In this week's episode I have no answers, but I have questions for you. As you listen consider if any of these questions resonate with you and, if they do, perhaps it is an opportunity to look at changes that might ensure a greater quality of your life and your relationships.
Dec 13, 2020•13 min
How are you really feeling these days? Are you feeling stuck, frustrated, maybe annoyed with yourself that you aren't handling things the way you think (or that voice in your head tells you) you SHOULD be handling them? Did you think you had things somewhat together and now, with another stay-at-home mandate, does it feel like everything is falling apart again? Today's episode acknowledges this communal feeling we are experiencing and how we can help ourselves and one another. If you haven't alr...
Dec 06, 2020•11 min
Do you tell yourself that asking for what you need is selfish and that the needs of others are more important than yours? If so, where did you learn this? Asking for what you need and want is not only okay, it is healthy and necessary. In this week's episode we talk about four steps to identifying and asking for what you need using self-exploration, strong boundaries, and good communication.
Nov 30, 2020•13 min
Are you struggling to get a full night's sleep? Do you toss and turn at night or have trouble falling or staying asleep? Are you feeling fatigued during the day? In this episode we explore the importance of sleep and things you can do to enhance your ability to fall and stay asleep as well as ways to shift your thinking and allow your unconscious brain to work during sleep. Try these techniques for two weeks and let me know your results at Katherinekempvelez.com. Sleep well.
Nov 23, 2020•14 min
Do you sometimes feel you’re having the same arguments with your partner or loved ones over and over? Do you often feel your words didn’t land as intended and resulted in miscommunication that dissolved into an argument or disagreement? In today’s episode I’ll share with you two little words with the power to change your communications and your relationships.
Nov 16, 2020•10 min
Do you find yourself struggling with communication in your most important relationships? Were you doing just fine until Covid, politics, and then, at least in California, months of smoke seemed to stress your relationship and challenge your ability to listen with empathy and validation? You are not alone and maybe it's time to get back to communication basics. This episode features an amazing woman and skilled couples therapist, Yasmine Binghalib, discussing some of the communication skills need...
Nov 09, 2020•24 min
