This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about the best friends forever myth. There is so much pressure to find your other half, your #squad, someone to share that BFF bracelet with. But what happens when you don't have a BFF? Do "best friends" even exist? On this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon chat through an article in the Standard (source below) and discuss what happens when you get hung up on the perfect all-in-one friend. Then, in our newest/shiniest/sexiest final segment, Asking For...
Nov 09, 2023•44 min
This Isn't Therapy... it’s a discussion about the importance of mattering. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about mattering, a feeling of meaningful significance to others, and what that looks like, sounds like, and feels like in relationships. Jake walks us through the questions he asks his clients when they report that, or he gets the sense that, they feel like they don't matter to those who matter to them. Yeehaw! Mattering matters! *NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our new...
Nov 02, 2023•44 min
This Isn't Therapy... it's a convo about makin' new friends, Mary! In this week's episode, Jake and Simon talk about our social health and what's getting in the way of making new friends and forging new social connections. They also discuss if it's good or bad to connect with people really fast and tackle a listener question about building a new circle of friends. *NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend... Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com ...
Oct 26, 2023•41 min
This Isn't Therapy...this is EPISODE ONE FOOOKEN HUNDRED, BABY!!! ✨ On this centennial episode of the pod, Jake and Simon take a look back at the very first episode of the pod and work through allllllll the cringe. What follows is a fun, flirty, fab chat about vulnerability, growth, and new eras (sry swifties!! These two girlies are ready to take over the world!!) Special thanks to our #lovelylisteners for supporting laughing, listening, and joining us each week. You truly are the best <3 *NE...
Oct 19, 2023•47 min
This Isn't Therapy... it's an epi about toxic achievement culture (what!!?!?!)... In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss an emerging therapy therapy theme about the ways that achievement can be toxic, unhealthy, and unproductive. They dive deep into an article about achievement, feeling enough, and "mattering." They talk about the importance of having social proof in order to feel like we matter and what we can do to reclaim a sense of true community and interdependence. Also, make sure to list...
Oct 12, 2023•47 min
This Isn't Therapy... it's the long-time-coming conversation about personality differences and mental health! In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about The Big Five personality types - Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism (recently re-termed Emotional Stability). They talk about the difference between personality traits and a mental health issue (they oftne get confused!!) through the unpacking of two well-known personality typologies: Introverts and Extrove...
Oct 05, 2023•39 min
This Isn't Therapy...this is a fun, flirty, fab convo about how being comfortable will not make you happy 🤯. In this episode, Jake and Simon chat through two #lovelylistener story submissions - one features a tale about moving on from a beloved job and the other explores the fear of leaving the comfort zone. They discuss how the (necessary) feelings of discomfort lead to personal growth and introduce ( please welcome to the stage ) the growing edge - no, Wendy, that's not in reference to you gr...
Sep 28, 2023•33 min
This Isn't Therapy... it’s the episode about taking social risks! This week, Jake and Simon talk about how to put yourself out there and embrace the improv side of life. Jumping off from last week’s conversation about play, they discuss another #LovelyListener submission about trusting people’s true intentions and dissect a quote about improvised gatherings. Bring your umbrellas! Because this week, we’re improv-ing up a storm! Article: What Adults Forget About Friendship by Rhaina Cohen P.S. Sen...
Sep 21, 2023•41 min
This Isn't Therapy... but we are tackling life's important questions: have we lost our sense of play? In this episode, Jake and Simon dig deep into a #LovelyListener submission and article (Remix!! Twist!!) about adult play, which suggests that playing and wasting time together like kids do are how we can become happier and healthier adults. Also - shout out to Disney World (sponsor us!) Article: What Adults Forget About Friendship by Rhaina Cohen P.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapyp...
Sep 14, 2023•37 min
This Isn't Therapy... this is the long-awaited follow-up to our episodes about boundaries. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about being a boundary bully and using “boundaries” to control other people. They talk about an advice column question submitted to The Atlantic about family boundaries and and discuss relationship boundaries via ~the Jonah Hill situation~! Article: Dear Therapist: My Daughter’s Boundaries Are Preventing Us From Having a Relationship by Lori Gottlieb P.S. Send us your e...
Aug 31, 2023•39 min
This Isn't Therapy... this is a conversation about becoming the stand-in parent for the people around you. Are you the one always making the plans? Do find yourself saying "don't forget to..." a lot? When did you sign up to coach the people around you into "becoming the better version of themselves"? Oh, mama. Let's talk. Take out your finest quill and parchment because we're chatting through mother hen syndrome and how being the thinking brain/emotional caretaker for others leads to relationshi...
Aug 24, 2023•49 min
This Isn’t Therapy… it’s a discussion about “phubbing”— the act of snubbing someone with your phone. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about phone use and how it impacts our relationships with friends, family members, and partners. They also talk about a recent study, which found that higher phone use was associated with more relationship problems, and an article by a therapist, called “As A Therapist, I Know What’s Breaking Couples Up.” Hint hint, it’s allegedly the smartphone. 📲🤳🏼👀 Arti...
Aug 17, 2023•46 min
This Isn't Therapy... it’s the episode about the common fear of missing out, otherwise known as FOMO. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about FOMO through the lens of the group chat: Getting kicked out of them, being left out of the formation of a new one, or not being invited into them at all. They talk about how a certain app popular with teens is making this issue even more complicated and discuss the dangers of needing to be constantly online, tapped in, and worried about missing somethin...
Aug 10, 2023•40 min
This Isn't Therapy... it’s the episode about being broken up with by a therapist. In this episode, Jake and Simon read two stories, one submitted to the Reddit r/AskATherapist community and one submitted by a Lovely Listener! Jake and Simon break down some of the reasons why therapists may also break up with a client. It's a juicy one! P.S. The debate about hand washing has been settled! Go check out our Instagram for the results. P.S.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.co...
Aug 03, 2023•47 min
This Isn't Therapy... it’s the episode about being in denial. I’m not in denial, you are! In this episode, Jake and Simon unpack this common psychological defence mechanism - why someone might be in denial, where it might stem from, and how this shows up in couples. They also dip their toe in the waters of couple therapy and provide some insight into how couples therapy works by following up with Casey and Sarah (our resident case study couple!), who are going through a rough patch in their rela...
Jul 27, 2023•52 min
This Isn't Therapy... it’s a conversation about problem spotting, hot take culture, the loss of expertise, and the pressure to have an opinion about everything. Get ready for some hot takes about hot takes! In this episode, Jake and Simon unpack an article written by Jake called You Don’t Have To Be The Fixer. Let's get into it, Mary! A quote from the article: “You do not need to fix every problem you notice. You do not need to sign up for more problems to solve. Sometimes it is better to let pr...
Jul 20, 2023•44 min
This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about people pleasing. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon explore the root of people pleasing - where the behaviour stems from and how it comes to be. How do I stop people pleasing??? Get ready to laugh/cry/uncover the phenomenon known as the chameleon child. "Trying to make life fair for people around you doesn’t make up for the unfairness of your childhood." Woof. Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi!...
Jul 13, 2023•39 min
This Isn't Therapy...this is a casual Kelly conversation about the future and ALL our collective worries. Climate change? Finances? Relationships? Oh boy. So much to hold! So much to worry about! In this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon explore the role "worrying" has in our lives through two fantastical case studies (featuring TIT celebs Tina the Troll and Grant the Gnome). Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast Jake...
Jul 06, 2023•46 min
This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about finding hope in hopeless times. Forest fires, anti-LGBTQ bills, collective pain, and existential dread. In this episode, Jake dives deep into the purpose of therapists in hopeless times -- as the "bringers of hope". Jake and Simon talk through some stories submitted by the Lovely Listeners about how they keep hope alive and find the inner strength to keep going when things feel hopeless, meaningless, and purposeless. Whew... this one's a tear jerker! ...
Jun 29, 2023•37 min
This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about finding your people, finding your place, and building community. In this episode, Jake and Simon read two submissions by the Lovely Listeners about the features of their ideal community. What follows is a discussion about building community, figuring out who should be there, and what features matter most. Let's get ta buildin'! Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ernst - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast Jake Erns...
Jun 22, 2023•37 min
This Isn't Therapy... it’s the episode about coming out! In this episode, Jake and Simon come clean about coming out as they chat about some scenes and quotations from an article about the coming out experience. We are pulling back the colourful rainbow pride curtain for an essential discussion about coming out— what it’s like, why we may or may not do it, and how you can support someone who has done or is doing it! 🏳️🌈 Article: Mixed Feelings: I Recently Came Out, But I Still Feel Like I’m H...
Jun 15, 2023•39 min
This Isn't Therapy...this is a fun, flirty convo about adapting to scenarios while keeping your values in check (*DING*). On this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon discuss two lovely listener stories, safe spaces, the embarrassing Ontario Catholic school board's decision to ~not~ fly a pride flag, and our new queer icon, Tina the Troll. Also, stay tuned to the end of the ep because we may or may not have a favour to ask! HAPPY PRIDE!!! <3333 Creators & Guests Simon Paluck - Host Jake Ern...
Jun 08, 2023•32 min
This isn't therapy... it's an episode about authenticity, being yourself, and knowing who you are. In this episode, Jake guides Simon through an ~authenticity exercise~! OoOoooO! They discuss whether or not authenticity should be everyone's goal and how the path to becoming yourself looks different for everyone (and how to find your own way!)... CAUTION: THIS EPISODE IS EXTREMELY FUNNY AND AUTHENTIC. Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @...
Jun 01, 2023•44 min
This isn't therapy... it's some straight up real talk about depictions of therapy in popular media. Simon, a filmmaker, and Jake, a therapist, talk about the emerging media genre of fly-on-the-wall therapy. From explosive couples’ dramas on TV to podcasts with recorded therapy sessions, fly-on-the-wall therapy is pulling in huge audiences. But is it ethical? Is it exploitation? Is it just unhealthy voyeurism? Article: ‘It was actually beautiful’: the wild rise in people turning their therapy ses...
May 25, 2023•44 min
This isn't therapy... it's an episode about complex experience of grief and loss. Jake and Simon read two stories from the Lovely Listener. They add some nuance to the stages of grief model (DABDA!) and chat through different metaphors for grief - boulders, balls, and jars, oh my! Also, grab your spelunking gear because we're going down that rabbit hole: what evolutionary function does grief serve? Get ready for one silly and serious episode. Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck ...
May 18, 2023•42 min
This Isn't Therapy... it's the grand opening of the Ha-Ha Chuckle Hut! Just kidding. It's the conversation about deflecting and coping with humor. In this week's episode, Jake and Simon talk about the ups and downs of using humor to cope with the things we don't want to feel. Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck - Host Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast Jake Ernst: @mswjake Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon...
May 11, 2023•44 min
This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about slowing down, baby. How do you know when things are good? How do you embrace feeling content with where you're at? Remember hobbies? What are those!?! TELL US!! In this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon chit chat through two lovely listener stories about finding stillness. What happens when things are...fine and there's no fixing, meddling, or deeper work to do? PS- send us fan art okay thank u 😘 Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Pa...
May 04, 2023•33 min
This Isn't Therapy... it's the follow-up to last week's convo about thinking vs. doing. This week, we're talking about doing vs. being-- another paradox we are made to sit with as humans who feel things. In this episode, Jake and SImon unpack submissions from the lovely listeners about how to know when things are good and content. They share three stories from y'all about how to embrace feeling content with where we're at and how to tell when there's no fixing, meddling, or deeper work to do. Cr...
Apr 27, 2023•37 min
This Isn't Therapy... it’s an episode about thinking, over-thinking, and sorting through seas of misinformation online. In segment one, Jake and Simon discuss findings from a small study by PlushCare which looked at videos on TikTok and misleading mental health information. In segment two, they discuss how collecting and consuming mental health information online isn’t the same as applying it. Jake also shares an actionable script to help the Lovely Listeners find action when stuck in cycles of ...
Apr 20, 2023•43 min
This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about the mental health of boys. Declining graduation rates, decreasing sperm counts and testosterone levels, and fewer close friendships. Yikes! In this episode of the pod, we're chatting through the irrefutable evidence that men and boys are struggling in unprecedented ways. Sources: "Taking the mental health of boys seriously" by Jake Ernst (...I don't know her...?) Creators & Guests Jake Ernst - Host Simon Paluck - Host Bonjourrrr, hi! Follow u...
Apr 13, 2023•51 min
