Over the past year or more in publishing my ideas, I have noticed that my messaging might appear scattered, if not confusing. That’s on me, and I have taken to rectify that. If you only want to hear about Queer topics, Think Queerly is what you want in your ears. The Think Queerly Podcast explores the mutually arising relationship between the status quo and all things queer. A queer perspective is the counter-balance that supports a healthy, loving, and equitable society. On the show, I explore ...
Jan 05, 2022•19 min•Ep. 214
“RED X ,” David Demchuk’s second novel, is about a series of disappearances from Toronto’s gay community over a 40-year period (actually over 200 years), and the efforts of surviving friends and family to find out who or what is responsible. Interwoven is David Demchuk’s own story as a horror writer, as a gay man, and as someone whose novel is breaching the boundaries of fiction and entering his life. Read the full show notes here: https://thinkqueerly.com/queerness-horror-memoir-and-toronto-lgb...
Dec 29, 2021•1 hr 4 min•Ep. 213
Underlying my work is my philosophy of human-heartedness. This is a non-dogmatic approach to lead with personal responsibility for equity and the common good — a way of being that improves open-mindedness, reduces contention, and increases kindness, compassion, and understanding for others. Looking back over this past year, I believe that I have created and shared meaningful content that speaks to my philosophy and offers ideas and practices to create more clarity, focus, and direction in your l...
Dec 22, 2021•32 min•Ep. 212
What Are Character Traits? A simple way of framing character traits is to think of an actor playing a character in a movie. The actor needs to embody the character’s attitude and personality for the viewer to believe how the actor is behaving. Character traits are what we use to describe who we are and how we act. For example, you can describe someone’s character as kind, thoughtful, aggressive, or aloof. Your dominant character traits describe and demonstrate what you most value and believe in....
Dec 16, 2021•31 min•Ep. 211
It’s time for something new on the Think Queerly Podcast. I’m excited to bring you what I plan to be a once-a-month feature episode in which I coach one of my clients — raw, unscripted, and unplanned. If you ever wondered how I coach, or what it’s like to be coached, I know you will enjoy these episodes. This is what you will hear during this IDEA tion Coaching session with Jon Carl Lewis . In him, you will witness a wonderful example of what Human(e) Thought Leadership looks like. Enjoy! Read t...
Dec 09, 2021•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 210
I Envision a World that Respects All of Humanity To lead yourself from such a noble place — as if that place already existed — you will need to practice and embody values, principles, and beliefs that support a universal human dignity. However, I’m not suggesting a belief in a spiritual entity, following a religion, or a set of commandments. Instead, this is the personal responsibility of cultivating a loving, equitable, and harmonious humanity that — I believe — is both an individual and collec...
Dec 02, 2021•28 min•Ep. 209
Recently, I read in the Guardian that "Top Republicans rub shoulders with extremists in secretive rightwing group, leak reveals." The details of the reporting stuck in my head. Then a question came to mind: Why are some rightwing extremist groups so secretive? What have they got to hide? The only reason these kinds of groups are secretive is not because they are ashamed. These organizations are secretive because they know they are morally wrong. They know they are wrong because their beliefs and...
Nov 25, 2021•35 min•Ep. 208
Over the course of a bit more than a year, I’ve published a number of personal growth exercises. I gave the process the name, Personal Evolution Process (PEP) . Each process follows a structure to help you define the problem or challenge at hand. You then further refine the problem by turning your thoughts around or considering influencing factors. Lastly, you create emotional alignment with your chosen strategies that will support your motivation and commitment to resolving the problem. Read th...
Nov 19, 2021•33 min•Ep. 207
When you’re faced with the choice between two significant polarities in life and don't know how to decide which one is best, try this Personal Evolution Process. This process will help you to get clarity and certainty about what's most important and meaningful to you about both options, and then choose the one that provides the most emotional alignment. In other words, when you can connect your choice with your emotional intentions, you are most likely to feel best about the choice and remain co...
Nov 11, 2021•31 min•Ep. 206
Last week, a friend of mine wrote a post on Facebook to say that she was strongly considering leaving Facebook forever. While she benefits from some aspects of the platform, she wrote that she feels out of integrity supporting a platform that is detrimental to the current and future society she wants to live in. By remaining on Facebook, she is encouraging their business model and rewarding their decision-making. From a values perspective, she feels like it's time to leave. She concluded by aski...
Nov 05, 2021•25 min•Ep. 205
Freddie Lewis offers a rarely seen or heard genuineness of character that connects to our deeply humane level of self-acceptance and being seen for one’s truest self. Through his poetry or his words put to music, he shares expressions of happiness, joy, playfulness, prettiness, and rhythmic beats that catch your ear, invite you in more deeply, and won’t let go. Freddie demonstrates a simple, joyful celebration of self-pride that shows up in his being simply who he is. You don’t need to be queer ...
Oct 29, 2021•1 hr 2 min•Ep. 204
Why are so many people afraid to take personal responsibility for their actions that affect the common good? Note that I did not say negative or damaging actions because I believe we must take personal responsibility for our actions, regardless of their intent. We need to be cognizant of the choices we are making, especially if we intend them to be beneficial. What we think is morally good or right might not be perceived in the same way by others. Here's the link to listen to the updated Think Q...
Oct 22, 2021•23 min•Ep. 203
In the 1950s, as 15-year-old Jim Foshee hitchhiked from his tiny Idaho hometown to Los Angeles, he met kind-hearted strangers, kindred souls, and drag queens as well as con artists, liars, and ruthless cops. His vivid memories of McCarthyism, government hunts for homosexuals, and routine firings sit alongside remembrances of the Beats, hippies, and liberation protests fill the pages of Banned From California . Read the complete show notes here: https://darrenstehle.com/banned-from-california-jim...
Oct 15, 2021•1 hr 13 min•Ep. 202
Michael Bach is the founder and Chair of the board of directors of the Canadian Centre for Diversity and Inclusion. He is nationally and internationally recognized as a thought leader and subject-matter expert in the fields of inclusion, diversity, equity, and accessibility, bringing a vast knowledge of leading practices in a live setting to his work. Read the complete show notes here: https://darrenstehle.com/michael-bach-internationally-recognized-thought-leader-in-inclusion-diversity-equity-a...
Oct 08, 2021•1 hr 17 min•Ep. 201
The Living OUT Podcast launched June 20, 2018. I renamed it to Think Queerly after the 100th episode. That means over the last 3 years I have published approximately 5 episodes per month! The influence and importance of my purpose statement to everything I do in my coaching, my articles, and the podcast: “When you freely love who you are, you can freely create the life you want.” Realizations while on sabbatical and hiatus this past August in Montreal. My top 10 episodes (according to my podcast...
Oct 01, 2021•25 min•Ep. 200
Human beings are not unchanging. We are not a rock or even a tree. We are not a solid form. If we don't like who we are, we can change who we are. Our essential nature is not a fixed one. We have the capacity to change who we are because we have the ability and the skill to do so. Our character, our identity, and our choices are amorphous. The way in which you can be different today is in the actions you take at this moment — now. ========== If you’re tired of losing your temper or experiencing ...
Sep 17, 2021•17 min•Ep. 199
The minute we think we have control, it can be taken away. In essence, there is really nothing that we can hold on to with the absolute certainty that it will never change. We might hold on to a rock and believe that is the perfect example of permanence until we accidentally drop it and it breaks into several pieces. In today's episode, I will take you through a 3-step Personal Evolution Process to define, refine, and get into alignment with what you can and what you cannot control in your life....
Sep 10, 2021•24 min•Ep. 198
The other morning, I was deep in thought about the sadness of nostalgia I had recently experienced. Nostalgia had overtaken me numerous times in the past year, and I wonder if there’s a tipping point in one’s life that’s related to getting older. Is nostalgia somehow related to wisdom and a greater critical mass of life experience, and thus memory? Perhaps the COVID-19 lockdowns have something to do with it. With less social activity and other distractions, I’ve had more time to think about bett...
Aug 06, 2021•33 min•Ep. 197
Have you ever had that dream where you are trying to get somewhere, but as you make your way, the destination moves further and further away? When I have that dream, it feels like I’m in a long and narrowing tunnel. As I try to move towards my goal, the space around me stretches out further ahead, taking my destination with it — like an alternate reality or special effect in a movie. Time and space appear to be pulled away from me, like taffy or a rubber band that surrenders its elasticity and d...
Jul 30, 2021•31 min•Ep. 196
Life is short. Too short in fact to be stuck behind a problem that keeps you from moving forward in life, seeing what’s beyond the next turn, missing valuable opportunities, and being generally unhappy and uninspired. The purpose of coaching — in how I practice coaching — is to help my clients get clarity, focus, and direction. I help them get into emotional alignment with strategies that they create to solve their own problems or challenges. There are moments of insight as well as moments of fr...
Jul 23, 2021•35 min•Ep. 195
A friend of mine recently came out on his 40th birthday. Not that he wasn't gay until that time. He was. But because of his family, how he was raised, his religion, and other reasons, he has kept his identity private. He hid in plain sight. When my friend came out publicly on his birthday, in a video message on Facebook, he got lots of love from those who understood and supported him. His message was beautiful, brave, courageous, and vulnerable. I felt it and had tears in my eyes feeling while w...
Jul 15, 2021•22 min•Ep. 194
As mentioned in the episode, here are the... 6 Questions to Identify Your Red-Line Emotions To get the most out of the live webinar, consider and answer the questions below. They are the perfect primer for what to expect and will make it easier for you to complete the practices that I will teach during the webinar. What is the single biggest struggle, challenge, or problem in your life that also causes you the greatest emotional stress? What are the top 1-3 most stressful emotions associated wit...
Jun 29, 2021•27 min•Ep. 193
The call to cancel Canada Day is a kind of cancel culture error that seeks to eliminate discussion, suppress voices, and ultimately only create more division through silence. It’s like trying to repair the silencing of the past by creating silence in the current moment. Click here to read the post or watch the video version of today's episode . Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Jun 25, 2021•15 min•Ep. 192
Living with pride means living fully and freely out (of the closet) with acceptance and peace of mind. Living with pride is about how you use your difference — your uniqueness — to make a positive difference in your world and in the lives of others. We don’t have to be divisive to make a difference. Seeking only to make a difference, without consideration for the consequences, may not create a more harmonious society and humanity. We must first seek connection to make a collective difference — e...
Jun 23, 2021•23 min•Ep. 191
Jeffry J. Iovannone joins me on this week’s episode for an expanded discussion about his latest article titled, “ Madeline Davis’s Queer History of Buffalo .” Read the complete show notes here: " We Have a Past, But Not a History." The Various Dimensions of LGBTQ History, Leadership, and Community ." P.S. What happens when we do things together? I'm excited to announce a new program, the " Queer Creators’ Guided Mastermind Group ." The mastermind offers support and guidance to four queer-identif...
Jun 17, 2021•1 hr 18 min•Ep. 190
Today's episode of Think Queerly goes much deeper into the concepts expressed in my article, " The Path of Self-Mastery ." I discuss the concepts of mutually arising dualities and the idea of 'not forcing' as expressed in the Tao Te Ching. I explain the usefulness of water as a metaphor in the Tao to express 'being in the flow' (which is how you avoid resistance). Then, I pull everything together under 'self-mastery, which is the congruence of personal responsibility, human-heartedness, and the ...
Jun 10, 2021•34 min•Ep. 189
One of my passions is to inspire LGBTQ+ people to connect with their creative genius and use their unique potential to make an equitable difference in the world. That passion sparks a flame that burns bright within me, but what’s the opposite? The darkness of course, but in the context of doing inspired work, the opposite is boredom, frustration, and procrastination — the death of joy, creativity, and productivity. Are you excited and certain or bored and frustrated? Boredom results in procrasti...
Jun 04, 2021•15 min•Ep. 188
The idea that insults, prejudicial or racist language is a form of violence is a highly problematic one that needs to be addressed. If we change the definition of violence so that the simple use of words could be used to ruin the life of another person, we create a slippery slope with no end towards a permanently polarized world built entirely upon an " us vs. them" mortal dichotomy. We need to maintain a clear distinction between violence and its meaning as a physical manifestation of accumulat...
May 26, 2021•19 min•Ep. 187
Your purpose can be found in your lived experience if you obverse your past through a lens of self-awareness and acceptance. When you live in alignment with what’s most important to you — like your values and beliefs — you will tap into the wisdom of what you already know about your own life. This will make living your purpose natural, compelling, and exciting. Do you know what your purpose is? If you don’t know, or if you don’t feel excited and motivated by your purpose, I can help. My purpose ...
May 19, 2021•20 min•Ep. 186
Success Is Not an End-Destination, It’s a Measure of Progress If you don’t accomplish a goal, does that make you unsuccessful and a failure? If your actions are too stressful, it’s human nature to fight, flee, or freeze. The solution is to do less to reduce or eliminate stress. Failure and success are not dualistic. This is why people get stressed out about failing. Success as a measurement is a process of acting towards an intended outcome, but failure is a moment. Failure is not a process. Fai...
May 14, 2021•28 min•Ep. 185
