The gang is back for an epic 2022! This week, Jackson steps off his soap box and takes a seat to join the conversation. (Don’t worry…ranting to follow). Everyone puts their heads together to try and make certain rap songs family friendly, Livy educates everyone on the art of the fitted sheet, and Jackson goes full-on Scottish. A sprawling fast food discussion ensues that will surely be referenced in academic papers. Plus, Omicron itself calls in to profess both its iron-fist rule and its fandom ...
Jan 24, 2022•1 hr 36 min•Season 2Ep. 36
Even more special moments from 2021! Tim tries out material for the gang, Jackson keeps ranting, Livy invokes the spirit of Ben Franklin, the gang gets heated about adverbs, new baby announcements, and that’s just the beginning! Hodunks new and old will love this Hawkins gang wrap up. Thank you to our sponsors! Indeed : Go to indeed.com/HAWKINS to claim your $75 credit to upgrade your job post! Offer only valid up to March 31st. Athletic Greens : Get a FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vit...
Jan 17, 2022•1 hr 44 min•Season 2Ep. 35
Our favorite moments from the first half of 2021! Jackson rants, Livy's vocal guitar, Tim & Luke's greatest hits, Heather's motherly guidance, tidbits from our favorite guests, and so much more. If you forgot to listen to the first 16 episodes of last year, this is your official Hawkins-approved cheat sheet! There will be a quiz. Big Thanks To Our Sponsors! Hiya: Receive 50% off your first order.! Go to hiyahealth.com/HAWKINS or enter code HAWKINS at checkout. Athletic Greens: Get a FREE 1 y...
Jan 10, 2022•1 hr 52 min•Season 2Ep. 34
The Gang talks best and worst of karaoke and goes Irish in an attempt to woo more American audiences. Tim forgets some material and Luke sees the weirdest form of the elephant man. Heather tries to lay down some bars and Livy puts on an all-out beatbox concert you won’t want to miss. Plus, a call in from the North Pole from good ol’ Dr. Fauci! Turns out, it’s pretty dang tough to swab an elf. Big thanks to our sponsors of this episode! Mack Weldon: For 20% off your first order, go to mackweldon....
Dec 20, 2021•1 hr 25 min•Season 2Ep. 33
The Gang ponders the mysterious world of life before the internet. Livy confesses to not knowing the difference between the metaverse and matrix, and recounts getting sexually harassed by an elderly lady. Luke reads a particularly vicious Amazon review of a disappointed hot sauce user. Tim develops dad-envy at the golf course. Plus, everyone’s favorite Norwegian rocker, Ulf Nerfgun, rings in the show with some classic Scandinavian holiday cheer! (Beware of Krampus). Thank you to our sponsors! Bu...
Dec 13, 2021•1 hr 26 min•Season 2Ep. 32
Tim gives the new Beatles documentary his seal of approval and uses the inspiration to write a hit single with Luke! The Gang pretends to not be pretentious by pretending not to know what precocious means (don’t ask). Livy and Heather try to nail down what to get Tim for Christmas...even though he just wants a candle. Plus, a special call in from Mark Zuckerberg, who explains the true meaning of Meta and has a binary sneezing fit. Big thanks to our sponsors! Uncommon Goods: To get 15% off your n...
Dec 06, 2021•1 hr 24 min•Season 2Ep. 31
Tim gets a call from the most english englishman you’ve ever done heard. Levi joins the gang to give the outsider’s take on marriage and tell us about George Washington’s wooden...feet? Heather and Livy explain the art of feminine hair critique. Luke combines his two greatest passions into one push up. The gang decides that most people suck...and that they must be banished to a mug. Big thanks to our sponsors! Skylight Frames : For $10 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame, go to skylightframe.c...
Nov 29, 2021•1 hr 29 min•Season 2Ep. 30
The gang is joined by comedian and good ol’ Tim pal, John Branyan! A masterclass ensues on the art of stand up and everyone tries out material, new and old, that you won’t want to miss. Resolved in this episode: God decides who’s funny and who’s not and the government can get over your fence if they so desire...probably. Luke speaks blasphemy of cotton candy and Livy counts down from ten. Big thanks to our sponsors! Mack Weldon : For 20% off your first order, visit Mack Weldon.com/HAWKINS and en...
Nov 22, 2021•1 hr 27 min•Season 2Ep. 29
Tim cracks himself up and makes a list of lists. Luke officiates a wedding and could perhaps do yours as well. Livy ruins grilled cheese for everyone, forever. The gang laments multi-level marketing schemes and the perils of falling for one. Thanks to ShipStation for sponsoring this episode! Go to shipstation.com , click on the microphone at the top, and enter code HAWKINS to get a 60 day free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices....
Nov 15, 2021•1 hr 22 min•Season 2Ep. 28
Tim puts his whole life on the line on a mug. Luke turns out to be one of those anti-stop sign people. The gang decides that Hitler was bad. Livy and Tim sing a very special song about everyone’s favorite leafy bowl food. Jackson rants about the cheater-cheater pumpkin eaters. Plus, a special call in from Mr. Pope, who simply won’t hang up the phone! Thank you to our sponsors for this episode: Public Goods : Go to www.publicgoods.com/HAWKINS or use code HAWKINS at checkout to receive $15 off you...
Nov 08, 2021•1 hr 20 min•Season 2Ep. 27
Tim speaks with a strung out pilot who had a few too many vaccines. Turns out that Heather is the founder (of using) Ebay. Luke gives Tim the “no cap” deal on drip and ice, which goes great. Livy demands mashed potatoes and shares her latest impression of everyone’s favorite Founding Father! Baby Holland plays us out and is simply adorable. Big thanks to Mack Weldon for sponsoring this episode! For 20% off your first order, visit mackweldon.com/HAWKINS and enter promo code HAWKINS. Learn more ab...
Nov 01, 2021•1 hr 19 min•Season 2Ep. 26
A dire call in from an ex-believer who had one too many fiber-one bars. Livy burps. Luke is open about his emotions and scavenges for everything in the Hawkins household (except banana laffy taffy). A theological debate ensues, culminating in Heather’s pronouncement of the best chick-fil-a sauce. Crappaw calls in to tell the gang he loves them and that he still has awful bowels! Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off ...
Oct 25, 2021•1 hr 32 min•Season 2Ep. 25
Back from popular demand, more epic vocal guitar from Livy you won’t want to miss! Tim describes his perfect mansion in heaven and laments the danger of caring about everything. Luke tries to predict the future of transportation and shares that his secret scammer is not yet gone. Plus, a very exciting family announcement from Tim’s oldest son, Spencer! Oh, and quick sand is fake, FYI. A big thanks to our sponsors! Butcherbox: Now offering new members a 10–16 pound turkey FREE in their first box....
Oct 18, 2021•1 hr 24 min•Season 2Ep. 24
Tim ponders the meaning of song lyrics and steps in shaving cream. Livvy gossips to God and Luke explains how to cheat on your taxes. The whole gang has a heartfelt talk about armadillos and then tries to leave the zoom meeting but fails together. Plus, the great Jordan Peterson returns to give us his special Peter Pan Peanut Butter & Steak recipe! Big thanks to Uncommon Goods for sponsoring this episode! To get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com/HAWKINS . Don’t miss out on this...
Oct 11, 2021•1 hr 25 min•Season 2Ep. 23
Tim raves about his favorite microchip that determines the fate of this very podcast. Livvy accidentally tortures a man whilst trying to fix his hiccups. The gang has a good laugh about fake laughs and reviews sneezing safety. Fake Mother Teresa calls in and professes her Hodunk-ship. Plus, Luke turns up the heat at senior center volleyball! Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling. Lea...
Oct 04, 2021•1 hr 20 min•Season 2Ep. 22
One episode to rule them all! In this jam packed THP, friend of the gang Bridget Van Means with Thrive St. Louis Women's Healthcare ( thrivestlouis.org ) joins the show to talk all things from marketing to kangaroos, we hear from prolific singer-songwriter, Randy Stonehill, and, another call-in from the Hawkin’s dear friend, Dr. Fauci, who gives us the new and improved 7 step vaccine process (find the nearest small cliff next to your home for the last one). Plus, another edition of Jackson Rants...
Sep 27, 2021•1 hr 31 min•Season 2Ep. 21
Tim introduces the Department of KOC - Karens on Call. Luke deals with an e-commerce menace and Tim tries out some new material before the gang kicks the faucet off (you had to be there). Livvy performs a soul-altering guitar solo without a guitar and yet another family is ripped apart by debates over the 2009 classic, Avatar. Plus, a sincere nod of remembrance and gratitude to comedy icon, Norm MacDonald. Thank God for Norm! Thanks to ShipStation for sponsoring this episode. Listeners can use m...
Sep 20, 2021•1 hr 22 min•Season 2Ep. 20
Step aside Luke and Livy, Spencer (the elder Hawkins child) and his wife, Keegan, take main stage this week! A trip down memory lane filled with Schoolhouse Rock and questionable child hip hop. Keegan proves her first grade teacher wrong and the gang cooks up a grueling new-parent crash course. Thanks to ButcherBox for sponsoring this episode. Sign up at ButcherBox.com/timhawkins and get 2 lbs of ground beef free in every order for the life of your membership! Learn more about your ad choices. V...
Sep 13, 2021•1 hr 16 min•Season 2Ep. 19
Tim’s oldest son, Spencer, joins the gang this week! (He was a little nervous but did great) Everyone takes a deep breath, courtesy of Wim Hoff, and Tim admits to his pro-am air guitar days. Livy eats a whole sleeve of cookies and Luke’s words fall upon deaf friend ears. Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more a...
Aug 30, 2021•1 hr 31 min•Season 2Ep. 18
The gang is joined by friend and prolific songwriter/playwright, Chelsea Perry, who (just to brag) has now written 16 musicals! They chat about taking care of yourself during creative endeavors and the mystery of the proverbial dangling carrot. Tim says no to Broadway and yes to cameo. Emotional music ensues. Livvy cries the show out. The end. Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling. L...
Aug 23, 2021•1 hr 13 min•Season 2Ep. 17
A chronicle of terrible waitresses and a near hypothermic experience in...Florida? The gang decides youtube is the greatest teacher and Tim admits his excessive empathy for inanimate M&M objects. Luke steals Livy’s charger, but all in good fun, and the young couple finally graduates from spoken word to full blown rap! Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling. Learn more about your a...
Aug 16, 2021•1 hr 9 min•Season 2Ep. 16
Pastor David Crank joins the gang this week for a quick chat about his authentic approach to preaching, the mental effects of the Covid lockdowns, and most importantly, his go-to karaoke song! Livy shares the story of her pet sitting animal murderer friend, and Tim asks David for some financial advice (buy the Empire State Building). Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling. Learn more ...
Aug 09, 2021•1 hr 12 min•Season 2Ep. 15
Tim shares a traumatic car trip explosion from his childhood involving a snack sack. The gang decides if you have a garage fridge with ONLY drinks, you're rich, and they desperately try to crack post-holiday depression. Livy joins Captain Bezos in space. Also, did anybody order any zerubbabel bulbs? Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaph...
Aug 02, 2021•1 hr 17 min•Season 2Ep. 14
A painful compilation of worship fails that might not make God proud. A new potential Hawkins gang country album? Unless Livvy and Luke steal the show with a non-conforming husband & wife duet. Please pay Tim for a cameo, but don’t worry, he is still pure! Plus, a mysterious case of a missing wedding band (no, not a cover band). Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling. Learn more a...
Jul 26, 2021•1 hr•Season 2Ep. 13
This week, the long awaited return of Jackson Rants! The gang gives their take on college sports and marvels at Luke’s budding fan base. Oh, and Tim gets a visit from the mafia (please don’t ever ask him about his business). Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoi...
Jul 19, 2021•1 hr 13 min•Season 2Ep. 12
This week, Tim and the gang chat about what they would each do in a purge, which horror movies were simply too much to handle, and they ask the dire question...who pooped in this room? They take a stab at making the term “nursing home” sound less depressing and Luke basks in his poll-approved victory of last week’s superhero debate. Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling. Learn more a...
Jul 12, 2021•1 hr 32 min•Season 2Ep. 11
This week, Tim and the gang are joined by prolific radio host, political commentator, and friend, Stacy Washington, as they discuss hot-button issues like social media censorship, the wonders of British accents, and their favorite phone apps. Plus, Stacy explains why some Tik Tok babies just can’t make the cut for her! (Spoiler: they get bigger) Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling....
Jul 05, 2021•1 hr 1 min
This week, Tim and the gang talk about the recent exploding number of milk genres, the joys of waking up at 3:30 AM for family road trips, and they have a big ol’ chuckle at some of the internet’s greatest national anthem fails. Plus, another round of Luke-Warm Debates, this time centered around the questionable status of a certain x-man, man. Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling. L...
Jun 28, 2021•1 hr 21 min•Season 2Ep. 9
This week, Tim and the gang address Tim’s new haircare routine, celebrity look-alikes, the many victims of alopecia, and Livy does a nearly flawless impression of a certain former governor of California. More listener questions and the return of Jackson Rants! This time, nobody with the last name Paul is safe (but...two brothers in particular). Thanks to FaithfulCounseling for sponsoring this episode. Go to https://faithfulcounseling.com/timhawkins for 10% off of your first month of counseling. ...
Jun 21, 2021•1 hr 1 min•Season 2Ep. 8
This week, Tim and the gang take on the “birds aren’t real” phenomenon, discuss the science of fruits versus vegetables, and share stories of unusual roadkill. Luke explains the unexpected origin story of pirates, and why they might not all just be the swashbuckling villains we see on the big screen! And finally, the gang sobers up for a more serious discussion about career and financial struggles, with Tim sharing his thoughts on how “making it” in comedy has drastically changed in the course o...
Jun 14, 2021•1 hr 4 min•Season 2Ep. 7
