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The Tim Hawkins Podcast

The Tim Hawkins Podcastevergreenpodcasts.com
The Tim Hawkins Podcast is the brainchild of comedian Tim Hawkins. Listen as Tim talks about any number of topics with fellow comedians, friends and sometimes, random passersby.
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Episodes

S2 Ep6: Our Eurovision Vacation

This week, Tim and the gang rave about their new favorite Icelandic band, listen to Eurovision and explain how it could be the trick to getting you out of a Spotify rut, and Tim’s 15 year old son, Jackson, makes his first ever appearance on the show to deliver an epic footwear rant. The heavy-hitting listener questions are finally answered, Livy’s slam poetry career continues (this time with a bongo beat), and, a special guest call-in from the one and only Crappaw! Learn more about your ad choic...

Jun 07, 20211 hr 5 minSeason 2Ep. 6

S2 Ep5: Waxing Slam Poetic

This week, Tim and the gang chat about things the old folks say, why humans feel compelled to speak to dogs/babies so much, and the current state of Tik Tok and why it's such a huge, fun, confusing mess. They listen to some questionable slam poetry, and Livvy and Luke are brave enough to share some of their own! Guest call-in from Tim’s old friend and Swedish hard rocker, Ulf Nerfgun, who talks life on the road (literally) and the exclusive Scandinavian love languages. Learn more about your ad c...

May 31, 20211 hr 2 minSeason 2Ep. 5

S2 Ep4: We've Been Ghosted

This week, Tim and the gang delve into the supernatural to talk ghosts and such. They discuss fitness and when mirrors are actually needed at the gym (Luke is a mirror guy). Everyone seems to question the artistic sincerity of Swedish DJ’s and their ever elusive beat drops. And, a special guest call-in from Covid-19 himself! He misses raves the most and admits that Moderna is the toughest nut to crack. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choice...

May 24, 20211 hr 4 minSeason 2Ep. 4

S2 Ep3: Wash the Bloody Fork

This week, Tim and the gang are joined by his arguably more famous mother, Nelda, as they discuss selling family heirlooms and create a step-by-step guide to fix modern worship music. Jordan Peterson tells you why Communism failed and why you need to wash the bloody fork! Luke uses pop-quiz videos to bolster his ego and Tim evokes the spirit of Elvis in the king's famous final moments on the can. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Vis...

May 17, 20211 hr 24 minSeason 2Ep. 3

S2 Ep2: Separation of Church and Dispensary

This week, Tim and the family/crew discuss a tattoo show that pits people against each other, the bizarre similarities between church and pot dispensary names, and the state of modern country music guitar solos. (What is Brad Paisley doing, exactly?) Livy and Tim stumble into a roast battle, Luke hurts himself doing a shoulder workout, and they recount those precious few concerts/songs that have brought them each to tears. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more...

May 12, 20211 hr 20 minSeason 2Ep. 2

S2 Ep1: Clean Plate Club

This week, Tim and his family discuss their greatest fears, the curious case of “Clean Plate” syndrome, and a questionable pronouncement of “the Queen of the World”. Tim recounts his early days as a joke writer for a rock radio station in Dallas, and there’s a special guest call-in from Dr. Fauci, who updates the Hawkins clan on the latest Covid-19 protocols (spoiler alert: 2 masks simply won’t do it). Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choice...

May 06, 20211 hr 19 minSeason 2Ep. 1

S1 Ep100: 100 - Crappaw Chaos, Relationship Breakdown, and Cyclops Qwahf

This week, Freight won’t come out of his bunk. Tim has some BIG family news! Tim can do a dog sound. The crew receives the largest gift basket in Poddy Break history. Levi throws down some serious love wisdom. Aaaand Branyan and Tim want to arrange a marriage for Caleb. WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE NOW! “Like” us @poddybreak! Social Meeds: Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitter: @poddybreak Facebook: @poddybreak Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about you...

Oct 25, 20181 hr 29 minSeason 1Ep. 100

S1 Ep99: 099 - Tunafish Origins, Chicken Chest, and Dwarf Watch

This week, Tim still remembers his lines from his 5th grade play. Caleb doesn’t like chocolate. The crew fields questions from the audience. Aaaaand racist Freight makes an aggressive return to the show. WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE NOW! “Like” us @poddybreak! Social Meeds: Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitter: @poddybreak Facebook: @poddybreak Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

Oct 18, 20181 hr 26 minSeason 1Ep. 99

S1 Ep98: 098 - Baboon Bacteria, Bigfoot Identity, and Scottish Scotty

This week, there was some miscommunication between Gerbs and Levi… we’re down to a foursome. Caleb wants to be paired with Bob during a zombie apocalypse. The crew gets a call from Nessy’s handler, Scotty McCracken, via Siri. Tim’s garage is the colon of the house. What IS Bigfoot? Aaaaaand Tim has a big secret. WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE NOW! “Like” us @poddybreak! Social Meeds: Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitter: @poddybreak Facebook: @poddybreak Learn more about your ad choices. Visit ...

Oct 11, 20181 hr 8 minSeason 1Ep. 98

S1 Ep97: 097 - Sweet Mayo, Mississippi Mark, and Return of the Freightbacks

This week, Dustin hates Disney. Tim has an epiphany about a new life change. The crew recounts odd show day memories. What’s your fav fried chicken? A fight breaks out after the Sunday night show. Aaaaaand the crew gets a late night craving for PB&Js. WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE NOW! “Like” us @poddybreak! Social Meeds: Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitter: @poddybreak Facebook: @poddybreak Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. V...

Oct 04, 20181 hr 46 minSeason 1Ep. 97

S1 Ep96: 096 - The Prodigal Sahn, Bike Injury, and John Cougar Gibberish

This week, the crew starts the show without Tim. Jonnie breaks down a conspiracy theory. Tim talks to God about his golf clubs. Tiger wins the Tour Championship. What does Freight even do here? What is John Cougar saying? Aaaaaand Mark’s drops have taken the show to a whole new level. WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE NOW! “Like” us @poddybreak! Social Meeds: Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitter: @poddybreak Facebook: @poddybreak Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn...

Sep 27, 20182 hr 2 minSeason 1Ep. 96

S1 Ep95: 095 - Rag-Tag, Shawshank, and Goff

This week, we have a VERY IMPORTANT update on dancing gym chick. Freight and Dustin wrestle backstage during the show. The guys analyze IMDb’s top 10 movies of all time. Is Jerry Seinfeld universally funny? Tim gets second-handed compliments from fans. Caleb’s baseball team doesn’t care about winning. Dustin’s hot take is interrupted by fruit snacks. Aaaaand practical joke stories galore. WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE NOW! “Like” us @poddybreak! Social Meeds: Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitt...

Sep 20, 20181 hr 55 minSeason 1Ep. 95

S1 Ep94: 094 - Qwah, Golf or Goff, and Flying Pineapple

This week, we’re playing Mark karaoke. Jonnie hits someone else’s golf ball on the fairway. People keep calling Caleb Tommy Fleetwood. Freight can’t say “golf”. Caleb wants to get Carey the bus driver on the show. What do we do for the 100th episode? Aaaaand Tim feels like he’s in the womb at Costco. WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE NOW! “Like” us @poddybreak! Social Meeds: Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitter: @poddybreak Facebook: @poddybreak Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm...

Aug 23, 20181 hr 33 minSeason 1Ep. 94

S1 Ep93: 093 - Christian Game Show, Accents Galore, and Freight Fall

This week, we have drops. Caleb’s never heard the word “parishioner”. Bob puts ketchup on burritos. What’s Naked’s real name? Tim’s crushing the Boston accent. Bob is terrified of heights. Aaaand Freight nearly falls out of his chair. WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE NOW! “Like” us @poddybreak! Social Meeds: Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitter: @poddybreak Facebook: @poddybreak Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adc...

Aug 16, 20181 hr 59 minSeason 1Ep. 93

092 - High Thigh, Dustin vs Freight, and Golf Addiction

This week, we’re clapping for Maddoux. Freight’s been bullying Dustin all weekend. Levi misses his stage call because he’s practicing his golf swing. Tim is giving Dustin a generous amount of “high thigh”. Gerber loves facts about himself. Who’s the meanest person on the bus? Pooz has been favoriting Dustin’s tweets at midnight. Freight likes the band Skittles. Caleb doesn’t know anything about science. WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE NOW! “Like” us @poddybreak! Social Meeds: Email: poddybreak@rockshowc...

Aug 02, 20181 hr 39 min

S1 Ep91: 091 - Drum Face, Violent Carrie, and Bus Drama

This week, a stranger disposes of an odd item in Branyan’s front lawn. Tim tries to clap his own hand. Is Office Space funny? Pooz hates when Caleb listens to metal music. Carrie Underwood gets violent in OUR version of Before He Cheats. Naked plays too much FartKnife. Freight doesn’t know what FartKnife is. Tim compares golf to the lying adulteress woman in Proverbs. Aaaand the bus has a minor (major) malfunction. WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE NOW! “Like” us @poddybreak! Social Meeds: Email: poddybre...

Jul 26, 20181 hr 53 minSeason 1Ep. 91

S1 Ep90: 090 - Judge Judy, Schoolhouse Rock and Dings

This week, the crew wants to know what percentage of the listeners have seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Smiley says 80%. Caleb says 41%. Twitter will settle the debate. Caleb creeps on Bob and his girlfriend at the show. The bell ringing is out of control. Tim’s distracted by his phone. Everyone is fascinated by Judge Judy. Tim makes a new friend at the eyewear store. Aaaaand Tim knows all of the words to Schoolhouse Rock songs. WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE NOW! “Like” us @poddybreak! Social Me...

Jul 19, 20181 hr 41 minSeason 1Ep. 90

S1 Ep89: 089 - Kim Rangoon, Texas History, and Freight Filter

This week, the listeners know the show better than we do. Smiley is back to self-promoting on the show. Caleb wonders if there are listeners that have never seen Tim’s comedy. Freight receives his own customized “Freight Flag”. Goose makes his first appearance on the show. What’s on the windowsill? Aaaaaand Tim wants to create a rating system for the listeners gifts. WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE NOW! “Like” us @poddybreak! Social Meeds: Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitter: @poddybreak Facebo...

May 17, 20181 hr 52 minSeason 1Ep. 89

S1 Ep88: 088 - Cat Poop Christmas, Crappaw’s Tort-Emporium, and Gifts Galore

This week, Levi’s brother Spencer salvages a plethora of cat poop for a Christmas gift. Freight is a gift party dictator. Jonnie joins the crew as the neighbor kid on Christmas morn. How old is Monty? Tim thinks Jonnie has a thumb head. Caleb receives a disappointing gift from a fan, whilst Freight is presented with the ULTIMATE benefaction (good word)! WE HAVE A FACEBOOK PAGE NOW! “Like” us @poddybreak! Social Meeds: Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitter: @poddybreak Facebook: @poddybrea...

May 10, 20181 hr 5 minSeason 1Ep. 88

S1 Ep87: 087 - Oldest Dog Ever, Okra Strut, and Buff Pastors

This week, the crew encounters a twenty-two year old dog named Nigel! Levi tells the crew about “promposals”. Jonnie reveals that his favorite PB guest is Dustin. Are there too many superhero movies? Tim lived his own version of “A Quiet Place” at church as a kid. Aaaaand what are comics allowed to take jabs at? Enjoy! Submit your relationship questions here!!! Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitter: @poddybreak Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more abou...

May 03, 201856 minSeason 1Ep. 87

S1 Ep86: 086 - Bean Weight, Wallyball Brian, and Yelling Extremities

This week, Tim roasts Caleb for going to the hospital on the road. FREIGHT IS BACK. Daren’s friend Brian calls in. Caleb thinks George Beverly Shea sounds like he’s chewing a hamburger whilst singing.The crew gives relationship advice to a listener. Tim steps in the net as the comedy goalie. Daren gives scorching hot takes on Star Wars, and where did Alex’s nicknames come from? Submit your relationship questions here!!! Email: poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Twitter: @poddybreak Learn more about y...

Apr 26, 20181 hr 30 minSeason 1Ep. 86

S1 Ep85: 085 - Vague Mafia, Gym Etiquette, and Woof Spiders

This week, Jean (aka “Lil Freight”) joins the crew! Dustin shares his in-depth knowledge of Paw Patrol. Caleb experiences a guy at the gym that is out of control. Tim wants to build his own gym with special etiquette. And Monty receives an embroidered towel as a gift from a fan. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

Apr 19, 20181 hr 26 minSeason 1Ep. 85

S1 Ep84: 084 - Bus Stench, King Kong, and Sauna Guy

This week, the bus stinks. Tim is struggling to stay awake during movies. Caleb thinks the squatty potty is a game changer. Freight is King Kong with a plethora of nans, and everybody thinks he should give a hotel comfort masterclass. Finally, the crew wants to get dressed up to see Luke Bryan at Busch Stadium. Follow us on Twitter! @poddybreak Email the show! poddybreak@rockshowcomedy.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit mega...

Apr 12, 20181 hr 29 minSeason 1Ep. 84

S1 Ep83: 083 - Osteen’s Board Game, Freight the Tricycle, and Philosophy

This week, Nekked (aka Monty, aka Gerber, aka Kevin) sits in! Tim has hot takes on Star Wars. Caleb thinks ranch can be used on everything. Branyan's chicken finger feud continues. Freight imitates Forrest Gump as Gonzo, Peter Dinklage grows once every year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

Apr 05, 20181 hr 52 minSeason 1Ep. 83

S1 Ep82: 082 - Freight Cakes, Ice Rats, and Bad National Anthems

This week, Levi explores the potential of Cold Stone Steve Austin. Caleb is unsure if a pepper is a fruit. Freight's fame pulls people away from Bob's table. And Tim is in a Gospel trans. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Mar 29, 20181 hr 53 minSeason 1Ep. 82

S1 Ep81: 081 - Copy Cats, Gym Peeves, and Lung Hockey

WE’RE BACK! This week, Olivia calls in unexpectedly to talk about her love life. Tim has had enough of the machine nesters at the gym. Bob thinks Naked looks like a giant baby. Caleb googles the definition of a hole. And Freight sings Cat Scratch Fever as Gonzo. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices...

Mar 22, 20181 hr 53 minSeason 1Ep. 81

S1 Ep80: The Big Crew - Cats, Shawls and Sandy Soil

The (extended) gang is here for our last episode of the year! This week, Todd, Jean & Aaron join from our TX office. Tim and Todd tell stories about Coach and Coach’s coach friends! Jean gets a visit from Nancy, the black cat. Todd wonders if there is such a thing as a male shawl. We recount our favorite dishes at the company Christmas party. And Pooz almost destroys a Target employee over a red boombox. Also in this episode: We discover Jean’s hatred of nature. Caleb and Josh are brought to...

Dec 21, 20171 hr 25 minSeason 1Ep. 80

S1 Ep79: Kenn Kington - Holy Nights and Silent Freightbacks

Kenn Kington is back on the show! This week, Todd calls into the show. Tim finishes the last shows of 2017. Freight goes on a bender. The crew says goodbye to Josh. We learn everybody’s favorite Christmas movies. And Tim loses his Christmas spirit because of too many Pentatonix songs. Also on this episode: Tim gets a typewriter. The gang introduces Kenn to the best version of “O Holy Night”. Rick Astley can’t hit those notes. Inflatable Santa has problems on the roof. The bus breaks down tempora...

Dec 14, 20172 hr 7 minSeason 1Ep. 79

S1 Ep78: John Branyan - Vampires, Balloons and Christmas

John Branyan is BACK, and it’s time to get weird! This week, Tim counts people’s items in the express lane. Freight has an amazing Costco strategy. John is old enough to get away with petty crimes. Tim offends Jewish Vampires. And Caleb gets very upset when Freight eats his bison burger. Also on this episode: Tim’s elbow is filling up with water. Heather doesn’t put groceries in a bag. The gang thinks Freight should have his own parade balloon, and subsequently, a calendar. And John gets served ...

Nov 30, 20171 hr 27 minSeason 1Ep. 78

S1 Ep77: Dustin Nickerson - Pirates, Cinnabons and Freestyles

Dustin is back on the Poddy Bus!! This week, Tim gets everyone ready to podcast, and then just starts eating in the middle of the room. Dustin tells a regional joke that doesn’t land. Spoiled Rich Kid hears from his first potential female suitor, and it doesn’t go well. Caleb tries to Google “Painted Baby Pictures”. And a Freight joke goes over the line. (You’ve been warned.) Also on this episode: Tim does a freestyle rap about school picture day. Naked drops his Cinnabon. Dustin’s son pukes the...

Nov 21, 20171 hr 41 minSeason 1Ep. 77
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