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Following on from Self regulation part 1, this episode explores the "how" of self regulation. How do you calm and soothe yourself so that you can be more of a rocking partner in your intimate relationships? Listen in to find out. Drop me an email hi@nicolemathieson.com or find out more at www.nicolemathieson.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Self regulation is sexy. Learning to calm and soothe yourself in your relationship is a skill that will help bring all the things to your relationship life that you want more of. In this episode I talk about the consequences of not having the capacity to self regulate. Then in the next episode, part 2, I share the "how". To get in touch, drop me an email hi@nicolemathieson.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
In this episode my colleague Ebony from Little Window counselling comes and interviews me. Ebony asks me lots of questions about how to manage our relationships in these strange times of Covid19 and lockdown. We talk about: -The types of problems that people are having in their relationships -How to get time to connect -What to do if you don't feel safe -How to navigate this time if you are dating -My top 3 tips for your relationship in lockdown, For more info go to www.nicolemathieson.com or to...
Managing anxiety part 2 - Connecting deeper within How do we stay calm and centred and resilient when there is so much craziness going on? There is so much exposure to stress, there are crazy things happening to all the things we usually lean on, there is a communal sense of anxiety. It has become more important than ever to skill-up and find ways to soothe our own anxiety. Let's grab this time as an opportunity to get the skills we need to manage our anxiety. In part one we look at mindfulness ...
Managing anxiety part 1 - Mindfulness. How do we stay calm and centred and resilient when there is so much craziness going on? There is so much exposure to stress, there are crazy things happening to all the things we usually lean on, there is a communal sense of anxiety. It has become more important than ever to skill upand find ways to soothe our own anxiety. Let's grab this time as an opportunity to get the skills we need to manage our anxiety. In part one we look at mindfulness and in part t...
The mental load is a thing and it can cause disconnection in your most important and intimate relationships. Just this last week, I have personally been struggling with the mental load; feeling resentful, tired and cranky. I wanted to share how I dealt with the load and what strategies I have put in place to minimise the future build up of resentment. For more help with the load, check out my online workshop "Release resentment" www.nicolemathieson.com/shop Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy...
Communication with my husband about anything that mattered used to make me want to run in the other direction. I would try to say stuff, but I would always say it in all the wrong ways and we would just end up: getting defensive and critical of each other feeling hurt & misunderstood saying things we wish we hadn't and needing some space to calm down The good news is, that you can learn skills and concepts that will help your communication and I will teach it all at my online wokshop. Get yo...
Katie Dean is a woman who gives us permission to be ourselves; human. imperfect and messy. Listen as we chat about; The pressure we put on ourselves Katie's journey with breast implants How to embrace life's messiness You can find out more about Katie and grab her new book Messy over at www.ktdean.com.au or on her favourite platform, Instagram @ktdean.com.au Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
I am back talking to my dear friend and kundalini yoga teacher Sirgun Lindsay German. Today we are talking about aging gracefully. What happens to us as women when we are no longer pretty young things? What is our value as an older woman? How do we handle aging, menopause and growing older with grace? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
A letter to your husband with the reason we are not being intimate aka: having (much) sex. Hello honey, I just wanted to write and let you know a few things that I have been pondering about our sex life. Firstly, I just wanted to acknowledge you. I know that our sex life is a frustrating area of our relationship for you. I acknowledge that for you, in an ideal world, we would be having sex lots more often. You try really hard to get it right for me, for us and I appreciate it. I feel for you, I ...
Does he even care about me? When I ask for more, then he pulls away from me. As far as the dance of intimacy goes, this is a common relational pattern. It goes something like this; You feel like you need more from your partner. More reassurance, care, love & affection and you need this to be okay. In fact, your need has become a kind of anxiety. You want him to scoop you up in your arms and reassure you of his love. But when you ask for this, he just pulls further away from you. Do you know ...
Whenever I am feeling stuck or like I am neck deep in the struggle, there is one thing that always helps - listening to some Abraham Hicks. There is something about the way they continually bring the message back to the simple laws of what you focus on you attract - that reminds me of my power and makes it feel that little bit better. Which is why I jumped at the chance of interviewing my next guest. Sandi Phillips-Melyer spent nearly a decade travelling with Abraham Hicks's - Esther and Jerry a...
Are your lady parts numb? How much feeling is down there? Tamra Mercieca is all about self-love, and she means on every level. Which means that Tamra really encourages us to love, and care for our vaginas. Tamra is the founder of Getting Naked, and Yoga for the Vagina. She is a Relationship and Self-Love Therapist, and an author. If the idea of getting back into a state of love with your vagina makes you uncomfortable, then this episode is for you. Tamra talks us trhough some of the health issue...
I had a revelation recently, it was that the western culture of sexuality really didn’t suit me. In fact, I am pretty sure it doesn’t suit a lot of us. What I am talking about is our sexual narrative that sex always has to have the aim of orgasm. I see it like a train on the tracks. Once we get on the sex train – which could be in the form of touching, petting and kissing – it feels like there is only one destination; orgasm station. http://nicolemathieson.com/revive-get-off-orgasm-train/ Hosted...
Are you ready for my first interview in 2 years?! Yes? Good! If your partner were to feed you eggplant for dinner every night, and you didn't like eggplant, you would say something. Sadly, we don't feel as expressive in the realms of sex and intimacy. We put up with offerings we don't like, year in, year out, and then wonder why we have "lost" our libido. In my conversation with inter-personal sex therapist Jacqueline Hellyer, we come back often to the food metaphor, particularly eggplant. I lov...
Babe, I want to talk to you, but I can’t find the words, so I am writing to you instead. I want you to know that I am thinking of you and us. I know that you may not know this, because there is a chasm between us. It worries me. We haven’t exactly been very connected lately, have we? This letter to your husband is generic. It is not a personal letter from me to my husband, but more from every woman to her partner. www.nicolemathieson.com/chasm-between-us/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy f...
He won’t go to counselling, what should I do? This is a common tale in the realms of hetero-sexual relationships. The wife wants to go to couple counselling, but the husband does not. Can it be the other way around? Absolutely it can, but the man not wanting to go, is so common it is worth exploring. If this is you, I feel for you. This is a horrible situation to be in. You, no doubt, see that your relationship is in trouble and you want to save it by doing the most obvious thing available to yo...
Clear out your relationship negativity When we talk about clearing your relationship negativity, what we are really talking about is clearing your resentment. So I am going to share with you; The 3 places where resentment really comes from The 3 destructive effects of resentment build up on your relationship 3 ways for you to release resentment Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
"I feel lost in my marriage. I don't even know who I am anymore!" This is a common cry from women in my relationship coaching office. Do you feel like YOU in your relationship? Like, really who you are? It can be easy to lose yourself when you are in a long-term relationship. It can be hard to tell where you start and they begin. It can be hard to tell what is changing due to age and maturity and constraints of the family. It can be hard to know what you really want after so many years of compro...
Several years ago, I was stuck in a dark place in my marriage. This darkness seeped out as anger – I would storm and bang around the house in a passive aggressive fury, without saying anything to my husband. It seeped out in my avoidance of intimacy – my libido was non-existent. It seeped out in my energetic output – he could feel my anger and would respond by being more cautious and standoffish . This made me angrier (and around we would go). Our marriage was starting to feel more unsafe and le...
It is easy to make sense of this when we are stressed out by life, work, kids and pressure from every direction. Of course, we are going to have moments when we blow our tops. Is it such a problem? Well no, from time to time this is not a huge problem, especially if you are practicing the art of repair. The problem is when we get stuck in angry, bitch mode as it corrodes the good feeling of the relationship, creating a lack of safety and trust between you and your partner that can be hard to reb...
You thought you were the only one who was mean to their beloved. Sadly, or perhaps, reassuringly, that is not the case. You are in good company. Being a bitch to the ones we love is common amongst us women. It is strange isn’t it, that the ones we love the most, get our most bitchy behaviour. On some level it makes sense, and we can justify it all, I mean, of course we are going to have moments when we get cranky and let loose. But the problem is that we can get stuck in bitch mode, our relation...
Are you worried that you are damaging your marriage? You find yourself being mean and bitchy to the one you love. You feel stuck in negative thoughts about your partner. And you know it is not working for you. In fact it doesn't even feel like you. You partner may not be perfect, but the last thing you want is to damage the good feeling, love and connection that you have between you. This post is not focussed on your partner’s behaviour. We are not here to blame, but to do what we can do from ou...
Do you feel sexy? In the past I never felt that sexy. But now something has changed. In fact, at this point in my life I am sexier than I have ever been and it has nothing to do with how I look. Listen in to find out what changed for me. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
What happens to your relationship when you are tired and depleted. When you feel like all you have done all day, all week, all year is look after other people at the expense of your own needs? Well, you feel resentful and cranky, don’t you? In this episode I discuss how to bring more joy into your relationship. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Understand your attachment style Relationships can be baffling. But there is a way to understand why we react the way we do. In my client sessions, one of the first things we explore are attachment styles. These are learned reactions, behaviours and tendencies that we exhibit in our intimate relationships. When you understand your and your partner’s attachment style, it becomes a whole lot easier to navigate the relationship. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
Learn to repair. If you’re feeling worried about the fights, arguments or tense moments between you and your partner. If they seem to sit there, looming like a big unspoken white elephant in the room, causing even more tension, don’t stress. All couples argue. Instead of focussing on avoiding it, focus on repair; the most important skill you can learn in your relationship. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
My guest this week is my friend and client Marianne Buchanan. Over the past 3 years. I have watched Marianne move from attracting relationships that were manipulative and at times violent to a mutual attraction that is beautiful and nurturing. Her relationship attractor field has up-levelled so efficiently and effectively that I couldn’t wait to pick her brains and find out how she did it, and so gracefully. We talk about: + Moving from a religious, traditional marriage – to dating women + Heali...
Bryan Reeves refers to himself as the relationship insight ninja and after our chat – I would have to agree with him. Bryan was raised predominantly by strong women, who infused his world with vision and service and left him with a deep reverence for the capacity of women and what they bring to the world. Yet this, for most of Bryan’s adult life did not translate into relationship success. His last 6 years have been committed to exploring his ignorance and searching for the answer to “Why do my ...
Today's episode of Unbreakable is a little different. I felt the need to talk about the shift in direction for Unbreakable - a direction towards exploring love, intimacy and relationships. To do this, I have invited back my podcast expert friend, Alana Helbig from Untangled. Alana helps me explore why I believe that as women we need more practical support as we manage the epic, soulful, evolutionary experience that our relationships offer us. I also share; - the big crisis / expansion points tha...
