I am a Yamla. I've been very open about the fact that I was not always good at making my relationships work. I have been divorced three times, twice from the same person. In other words, I have seen a lot and failed a lot in my relationships. So I am here to share with you what I learned along the way because I did take copious notes. Welcome to the r Spot, a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership
with iHeartRadio. When you act like you don't know what you do know, you'll get so confused until you won't know. And sometimes in relationships we love to act like we don't know what we do know, and then what we do is we try to go outside of ourselves to get someone to agree that we don't know what we do know. In that confusing, don't act like you don't know what you do know, and don't try to get anything outside of yourself to prove either that you don't
know or to validate what you do know. Know what you know. Just know what you know, and even if you're mistaken and what you know, you're gonna learn something. You will learn something. That's what my next caller is up against. Acting like she doesn't know what she does know and trying to get someone to validate that she does know it. Oh, it's so confused that just listen.
Greetings beloved, and welcome to the our spot. What is your relationship challenge, you dilemma that we can nibble on together today?
Oh?
Well, it's an honor to speak with you first all. And my situation is I'd been dating this guy for two and a half years, and last year I felt like it wasn't going anywhere. I never met his children, grandchildren, or anyone in his family. He hadn't met anyone in my family nor my grown children. So he was supposed to propose to me in January, but I ended up getting COVID last year and he had family issues, so we postponed it. This year. In February, he proposed. I
accepted it, but nothing has changed. If you asked me, do I trust him?
No?
And I'm at the point now I'm willing to I thought we're in a ring. I'm willing to walk away. So now he like to keep me. He wants to go to counseling, but I'm like, you really don't want to go to counseling with me because it's going to get deep, and it's things that I've been holding on to that I want to say to him. But he's the type of man. We both are leos, so we're
dominant people and we're stubborn at the same time. So every time you have a conversation with him deep, he goes into this defensive mode and saying that you know, he's busy, he don't want to talk about it. So that's where he felt like counseling should come in. But I need some advice because right now I don't want to go to counseling. I don't see the purpose of it because of the way the pass is and it's a lot more to this situation. And I know you don't have all day to listen to this, Brad, So
what would you advise? Give me advice on?
Well, I don't give advice. What I can do is support you in telling the truth and making a choice. That's what I can support you in doing. But advice, I don't have no advice. Okay, what is what is your question? Is it?
Do I stay or do I Let me ask you.
A question, Lemia, I don't Do you stay or do you go?
I wonder.
Do you stay with the man that you've been dating for two and a half years who's never met your children? Do you stay with a man for two and a half years whose family you've never met? Do you stay with a man you've been dating for two and a half years who has children that you've never met? Do you stay with a man who for two and a half years has indicated that he's not being fully honest and present with you? Do you stay with that man?
Oh?
Now, what's your question?
I answered my old question?
Yes, Wow, aren't you brilliant?
Yes?
Yes, I need a but that's the truth. And I think I don't want to face the facts that I need to go because I do love him, but I'm not happy. I'm not happy at all. I find myself more sad when I'm with him than happy. So and even if I did stay and I married him, I
have a lot to lose. That means financially, that mean I'll move out my house, moving his house, And it's too much giving up my independence and my control of my life to live with someone that I'm not wanting percent sure, So I think my vice to myself self in is that I'm going to leave. I'm definitely going to leave.
Okay, so why haven't you done it? Why haven't you done it? Thus fun, I.
Did do it two days ago. I did, and I blocked him and everything off of social media and talking to him and things like that. I did do it, But I don't know where I get the shrift from when he calls on another phone, more from someone else than I find myself. Oh, maybe we can work this out, but we just keep going around in the same will and we're going nowhere, and I'm just tired. I'm burnt out, and I just want to be happy. I could be happy by myself or maybe happy with someone else, but
I can't see myself happy with him. And even if we did get married, I would find myself, be honest, I would find myself cheating on him, and I don't want to be in a marriage that I will find myself not being faithful.
Why would you marry a man that you've been dating for two years and he's never met your children? Why would you marry a man that you've been dating for two and a half years and you've never met his children or his family. Why would you marry a man that doesn't make you happy. That doesn't make you want to be a better woman. Why would you marry a man like that? Are you Are you drinking something? Are you smoking something? What are you thinking?
No?
What I think it is is more. And my mom has five children, all of them been married. I'm the youngest, never been married. And it's just the thought of being married. I don't mind growing old and being by myself. I mean, I have fun by myself. I enjoy traveling and things. But it was just the thult of someone thought enough of me to want to be their wife. And then my husband. But he's my husband material I already broke
it off. It's just that I have to have that will power when he calls not to jump in my car and go to Charlotte to see him. That's where I need my will power and my strength to be just to say no, I'm not coming there, and you're not coming to my area.
And what do you do when you jump in your car and go to Charlotte? What do you tell yourself.
When I get there. I usually I don't go to his house. I check in a hotel and I will do little errands and stuff, go to the mall and things like that, and once he fly in and he goes to his house, he'll call me and then he'll say you want to have dinner or something like that, and then from there I see him and then he leaves. I leave, and I drive back to my hometown.
Now, what kind of rabbit ass sense does that make? Does that make sense to you? Wash Rents repeat, wash Rents repeat it?
Doesn't you know?
As a woman, I want you to know that I totally understand that in the world today with you, all that we see and hear about relationships, how we're so programmed in conditioned to compare ourselves to other people. As a woman, I totally understand that you want somebody to choose you. Yes, as women, we just want him to somebody choose me. I want you to choose me. I want you to say that I'm the one you want.
Now.
You could be ball with three teeth, stinky breath, a pot belly, and run over shoes, but I want you to choose me. Somebody choose me, Yes, and that's what you're doing here. But what is it that's choosing you? And bigger than that, what does it mean to be married? What are you telling yourself it means to be married, because the truth is once, once you had sex, you were married. According to the universal law. You don't need a piece of paper from the courthouse. You consummate the union. Yes,
that's true with intimate relations, that's number one. But number two, marriage is a unity, adjoining together of minds, hearts, and communities. It's clear that y'all's communities ain't joined because they ain't never met each other, So that's out. Yes, it's clear that your minds are not joined because you say clearly you're marrying material and he's not. Have you all ever discussed what his vision is? What your vision is? What's the vision for your union? You all have children, you're
not having children. So what are you coming together to do? What are you coming together to be in the world? How does your union make the world and your community and your family a better place? Have you all had that discussion.
We can't have discussions like that because we end up arguing and hanging up and he end up blocking me, so we don't That's why he wanted counseling. But going to counseling and someone sitting there listening to this story, I feel slow and like I'm something mentally is wrong with me, and he's not going to be honest, so I just look at it as a waste of money.
Let me let me say this to you. I want you to hear me. Okay, I want you to hear me. I want you to really really listen to me. Listen to me with your hair and your ears, Listen to me with your fingernails. I think you had him done recently?
Yes?
Did you having nails done?
Yes?
Okay, we'll do it right after this break. Welcome back. I am mean, I'm learing. This is the ur spot. Okay, I want you to hear me. You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't do anything wrong staying in this relationship, but you did make a mistake. And it's okay, Okay, why do you think I'm saying that to you.
I believe what you're saying to me is that I didn't do anything wrong physically, mentally, emotionally in this relationship, but I did do something wrong. I feel like I did something wrong by staying and knowing that it was wrong to stay when I should have been left. Not calling you should telling you all to confirm what I already felt. I should have took initiates way before this and left the relationship. I should have been left.
Let me coach you a little bit here, Okay, not that you should have or you did something wrong. The mistake was not telling yourself the truth about what you were seeing. That was a mistake, yes, okay, it wasn't wrong. It was a mistake. You didn't tell yourself the truth about what you were seeing. Another possible mistake that you made was thinking it was going to change. Thinking That
was a mistake, yeah, yeah, and not wrong. It wasn't wrong, Beloved, But it was a mistake not to tell yourself the truth about what you were seeing and to allow yourself to believe that what you were seeing was going to change. It was a mistake, Beloved, to deny your intuition. There were some things that as a woman, you could feel in sense, and you denied that because you wanted it to change, you wanted to believe. And that was a mistake, not wrong, not wrong at all. And here's the big mistake.
Here's the big mistake, Accepting less than you wanted. That's the mistake. Yeah, therefinitely wasn't wrong, But because you wanted to be chosen, you wanted somebody to choose you as the youngest who'd never been married. And here comes Boo Boo to fool and he's choosing you. So you act like he wasn't Boo boo the fool. And it's not that you're breaking it off, it's not that you're leaving. It's that you're choosing you. You are going to choose you.
Yeah.
Yeah, so you didn't do anything wrong, but you did make some mistakes. Oops. I made some mistakes. Oops. Let me forgive myself, write it down, make a note to the file so that I don't never do that again. Oops. Made a mistake. Oops.
Yes, yet is the true true? I really thank you for this. I already knew that I had to do.
Oops. Oops, I made a mistake. I've been dating a man for two and a half years who has not introduced me to his children, and he wants to marry me. Oops. I made a mistake. I dated a man for two years who never asked to meet my children. Oops. I made a mistake. I denied my intuition when it showed me things and told me things about this person. Oops. I made a mistake. When I prayed and asked for clarity,
got the clarity and then was disobedient. Oops, I made a mistake when I didn't choose me when he called and I went running to him to do the same thing over and over, washed rents, repeat, Oops, I made a mistake. Okay, I got it. Now I'm choosing me. Now, I'm choosing me, So you don't if you choose you when he called, choose you, And do you choose to drive two and a half hours just go to spend your money to go to a hotel to go shopping in the mall? The hotel money you could use for
shopping in your hometown. Why you got to go to another city to shop. I'm choosing me. I don't need to go to another dinner. I don't need to stay in another hotel. I don't need to spend any more money. When I know what I've seen and what I've heard and what I feel. I'm choosing me, and I'm choosing to be happy. I'm choosing to be content. I'm choosing to take care of myself. Oops, I made a mistake. That's it simple.
Yes, I could definitely do that.
Okay, Okay, beloved.
Okay, well, thank you so much, and you have a blessed day, and I appreciate it you.
Too, beloved. Alrighty bye bye?
Okay, then bye bye.
There's something now. People rarely consent when they love someone. In fact, they may think that loving that person matters more than loving themselves. And we want to demonstrate or prove our love. Very often we will give them permission family members, mothers, fathers, children's siblings. We will give them permission to dishonor and disrespect us as a way we show them we love them. That will never turn out well for you, and that's exactly what my next caller
is experiencing. Good morning, and welcome to the art spot. Now, what is your relationship challenge, issue, dilemma that we can discuss today?
Good morning with Siana. I'm calling because I moved my mom in about a year and a half ago to kind of help her financially. Some backstory. She's very conflicted. She's been in conflict with every member of our family. We were strained for a while, but two years ago I wanted to maintain communication after having my daughter, and she would always complain about her job in New York
and not having the four one key in health. So despite knowing her past, knowing our conflict, knowing that she can get violent at times when I hold her accountable. You know, my fiance and I still moved her in to help her financially temporarily. We had a plan in place, we spoke about it. But now we're a year and a half in and she has not made any progress financially. She's shopping. I've given up my daughter's room. I'm now eight months pregnant. You know, We've done everything we could.
We asked for no money at all. We really wanted to help her, but it's getting to a point now where it's putting a strain on you know, my family that we're trying to grow, and we've ignored a lot. You know, we've given her a lot room to progress. I got her a job at my job. But I'm
just struggling because I'm her only child. She's always put that skills on me that you know, she I'm all she has, and you know, I just I don't know what to do as an older woman, Like I'm thirty four years old, she's fifty six, and I think it's time she just be a little bit more responsible for herself. But I'm stuck because at the end of the day. She is my mom and I am her only child. So I just I don't know what to do.
Well, what do you want to do?
Like my gut is telling me that I tried to help someone that wasn't even trying to help themselves, and I think it's I feel like it's time that I do what my dad did for me, you know, when he finally said no when I was becoming an adult. You know, that helped me get myself together. So I want to say, you know, Mom, it's you know, thirty sixty days, like it's time for you to find your own place and you know, get on your own two feet. It's just I'm afraid to because I just know how
she can blow up. I just know how, you know, and I just don't want anyone to kind of be alone in this world. But at some point, like she has to be accountable for herself. So I'm just afraid too.
Do you think that your mother is capable of taking care of herself.
I think she is. It's just that no one has ever really held her to that standard, so she's never really had to. She was supposed she was living in New York with my grandmother, because of my mom's like anger as she was in violent tendency, she moved out of that house. So I think she is very capable of getting on her own. She just needs to actually do the work right and put herself in a better position.
Did I hear you say she can get violent?
Yeah, only with me. I didn't grow up with her. I from five to sixteen, she moved to New York. I was in Trinidad, and when I moved in with her at sixteen, I was well equipped with like communication and emotional maturity for my aunt. So I really tried to have certain conversations with her, but that to her is like the worst thing I can possibly do as her child. So every time I try to speak with her about getting herself together or getting help mentally, et cetera,
she really blows up. And that's why our communication has been strained. When my first daughter was born four years ago, they'll try to loop her in, they'll try to have a relationship with her. And one conversation went left and she just started punching the back of my car seat, and I remember, like, I remember just thinking to myself, I don't want my daughter to see what I saw growing up her, fighting with all her siblings, fighting with every friend she's ever had, fighting with her own mother
and my grandmother. It's like, I don't want my daughter to see that. So because she lives in our home, the first time she tried to like store at me with her close fifth, when my fiance and my daughter was out of the house, I shut down. I cut communication. I don't really speak to her, even though she's in my home. It's just the pleasantries of being a Caribbean child. Good morning, you need anything from the store, good night, and that's it. Because I'm afraid. I just don't want
my daughter to that. So here's that aspect of it too.
You've said this word afraid at least five times in five minutes, so that's one time a minute. What is the fear? What is the fear? You know?
Like I said, I didn't grow up with her. I grew up with extended family or sometimes even strangers, just for the sole purpose of me getting a good education in Trinidad. So I know what it's like to be without family. And I know that she's been somewhat of an outcast. I mean, of course because of her own actions as an adult, but it's like we have such a small family. It's literally maybe about five or six of us. You know, I just I don't want her
to be alone in this world. I don't want to impose that on someone else when I know what that feels like as a child. I want to be able to live my life and give my daughters what I didn't have. But does that have to come at the cost of me abandoning my mother because it feels like I'm abandoning her?
Are you aware that you did not answer the question that I asked you? Are you aware of that? Oh? Yeah, I asked you, what is the fear? I'm sorry, take your time start with this. I'm afraid that I'm.
Afraid that she feels like I've given up on her, and I'm just afraid to hurt her.
Have you given up on her?
Little Yeah?
Yeah, okay, So that's the truth. I've given up on trying to help someone who doesn't seem to want to help themselves, who's creating disruption in my home, someone that that is potentially harmful to me, to my children. So yeah, I've given up on her. Can you be okay with the fact that you've given up on someone who doesn't seem to be committed to supporting, helping, elevating themselves. Can
you be okay with that? Don't make it about your mother, make it about another woman that you're trying to support.
It's funny because I've heard you say that on a past podcast and that stuck with me. But I guess because I had that mother void for coastal eleven years, and my prime childhood is like you know, I still want to see her as my mom versus separating the mother from the woman, right. And it's crazy because I think I'm not.
Here one second. I get that some of this is cultural. I get that, but you're trying to give her what she didn't give you. I heard you say that you didn't grow up with her. You grew up with other family members, sometimes strangers. So you're trying to give her what she didn't give you.
Can you see that, Yes, ma'am, I could see that.
Did she ask you to give it to her?
No?
She never asked for my help.
But you, being the only child, that's her choice. She chose to have a child that she didn't raise. That was her choice. I think that you are attending a cultural and emotional university. And that's called making shit up MSU. Making s up. Okay, that's what you're that's what you're doing right now. You're making up that because you're her only child, you're responsible for her. You're making up that if you don't take care of her, it won't get done.
You're making up that she has a problem being alone. You're making shit up and sacrificing yourself and your children in the process. Let me say that a little nicer, let me not be rude, since we're talking about your mother. You're making stuff up.
I created this story.
Yeah, and you. It's not you, the grown adult woman. It's the little girl that didn't have a mommy. So now you're you're parenting her and acting like you got to put up with all manner of wahalla and conflomeration to make her somehow love you. You want to love her more than she showed she'd loved you.
I think I was just in some way she performs seeking permission to just sit with her and my fiance say it's time for her to leave.
That's been the hardest, Yeah, because it's not the grown thirty four year old woman with a partner and a child. Eight months pregnant. That's not who's sitting with her. It's the six or seven year old who wanted her mommy. So you're making up that she wants her daughter the way you wanted your mommy. Yeah, so you've given up on her, not because she's not worthwhile or worthy, not
because you don't love her and care about her. You've given up on her because your efforts to support her that weren't requested are not turning out the way you wanted them to turn out. That she would flourish and blossom and y'all would go get your nails and toes done together, and she'd be a great grandma and blah blah blah, whatever other crazy meant you made up.
You're absolutely right.
So what do we do now? We'll talk about that right after this break. Welcome back to the R Spot. Let's get back to the conversation. You know, sometime people simply don't know how to manage themselves. And if they don't know how to manage themselves, the only way they will learn is to be confronted with their mismanagement. But you can't get in her head and think for her. Here's the bottom line. This is all you have to worry about. You moved your mother into your home from
a place of loving care and concern. Is that accurate?
Yes, ma'am.
You had an agreement that she would be there for how long? What was the agreement?
For one year?
For one year, and she didn't have to pay anything, and within that one year, her agreement or her understanding, your understanding, was that she would get herself together financially, that she would pay down some debt, and that she would be prepared to stand on her own. Is that accurate, yes, ma'am. So here we are a year and a half later, and she hasn't lived up to her end of the agreement.
Period doesn't matter if she's your mother, the mailman, a stranger you picked up at the homeless shelter, it doesn't matter. The agreement has been violated. So you get to either renegotiate that agreement or bring it to an end.
The adulting me is a just I've been taken advantage of. My daughter deserves better, and it's no.
That's not the adult. That's not the adult. That's the teenager. That's the teenager, that's the fourteen, fifteen year old. She's not my friend. Look how she's treating me. I'm not you know, I'm doing everything for her and she's not doing nothing for me. And that that that that's the teenager, because the adult would say, get your stuff together or get the hell out my house. Raise your hand to me,
and I'm gonna show you something new. That's what the adult would say, because adults take responsibility for themselves, and what you're dealing with is a belligerent teenager and expecting her to act like an adult. So your teenager is bumping up against her teenager. Only teenagers raise their hand and pound on people in this playground when they don't get their way, and only other teenagers run from other teenagers when they do that. So we got to grow
you all the way up. This is not working, and I am so aware you didn't ask me for any help. I wanted to help you, but the help that I wanted to give you obviously you don't want. This isn't working. You got thirty days to be out of here, and if you're not out in thirty and thirty one, I
will remove your property. Period. That's what an adult would do, because it's not kind and loving to you or the child that you're carrying, or to your other daughter to see you're pregnant and you're stressed out with your mother, What are you teaching the baby you're carrying? What is that baby marinating in? So now when you at thirteen, when that child is ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, and you're having problems with that child, it'll come right back to this.
That child is marinating in discord between mother and daughter. That's what your baby's marinating in. Can you see that?
Yes, ma'am.
I don't mean to be stern with you, but my personal philosophy is secure the children first. That's my personal philosophy. So when I see people doing crazy meant to cause harm to the children, I'm coming for you. So forgive me. No.
I appreciate that. I really do appreciate that. I thought I was trying to break some type of generational curse. You know, she was having issues with her mom and my grandmother. I've had these issues with her over these years. You know, I just didn't want my daughters to see that as a standard. But I'm realizing this is a different situation. I'm creating this story, like you said, and I really just need to see it for what it is and stand up for myself and my family.
And not only did you mention afraid, I've got now seven times you said don't want. You said don't want thirteen times, So you keep affirming what you don't want. I don't want her to be alone. I don't want her to this. I don't want her to think I don't want her. I don't want her. And that's what you're creating. You're creating the very thing you don't want. What if she sets you up. What if she has a belief nobody wants me, I'm a problem, nobody's there
for me. What if that's her belief system. So what she will do, if that's her belief system, is should go around creating experiences and situations to prove that she's right, because that's what she that's what she's making up. So she's made that up in her mind. And now she set you up to give her evidence to prove what
she believes is true. Nobody wants me, nobody's there for me, I'm all alone in the world, blah blah blah blah blah, and she just sets you up to prove it because now you got to put her out because of her derelic behavior, and some of it is cultural. I get that, and I respect that.
My question to you is, you know, once I do that, because our counselor is on board, my fiance is on board, he supports me with that decision, how do I deal with the relationship after that? Do I just give it to God and just leave it alone? Or you know, do I go to therapy?
Go to therapy. That's how you deal with got it?
Got it?
Go to therapy to figure out and grow that little girl up that is still hurt and broken and wounded that her mommy didn't want her. Because that's what you're working with while raising Yeah, okay, go to the mirror and pluck yourself in the head. Wake up. Here's another thing that I want you to consider. By continuing to engage her in this dysfunction, no behavior, you're holding her to the limitations that she's placed on herself. You're treating her as if she can't do better, and so you
have to rescue her. And as long as you rescue her, she won't do better. She'll stay in the limitation. Does that make sense?
It does? I see that cycle in her life. My grandmother was that person before I was. I can see that.
Well, your mother is really powerful. She gets what she wants and she sucks other people into it. And I'm not talking bad about your mother. I'm looking at a grown adult woman, a mother and a grandmother who's not occupying her space, who's not occupying her space in her life as a mother and a grandmother. And this is how you behave Really, are you willing for her to be angry with you? Yes, Okay, I give myself permission. I give myself mission to allow my mother to be
upset with me. I want to hear you say.
That, I give my self permission to allow my mother to be a setlisk.
Take a breath. I give myself permission to realize it is not my responsibility to take care of my mother.
I give my self permission that is not my responsibility to take care of my mother.
And not that as a as a child. You know, because it's also cultural for us as Caribbeans, as Latin, as people of color that we do care for our elderly. And it would be different if she were sick or incapacitated. But she's she's shopping. Hello, does she buy food once in a while, you need to give you your self permission to stop being an enabler. Yeah, because you're enabling her to remain unaccountable and irresponsible in her own life.
Doesn't matter where she lives. If she's fifty something years old and she's in debt, she doesn't have a place to call her own. I know that probably means she's not in any kind of relationship. She's disrespectful to her mother what you're supporting her and being unaccountable and irresponsible. I want to encourage you that you know, you get
really solid within yourself before you have the conversation. That means you have to be okay with the possibility that your mother may be in a shelter or on the street, or in a single room occupancy hotel. That you get real solid and comfortable, not comfortable, but aware of the fact that she's going to be angry with you, that your daughter won't see her. You may not see her,
she may not. You got to walk through all of that in your mind before you have the conation, because if you go into that conversation with your mom, if you make the request of her to leave and you're not solid, she's gonna eat you alive, you will be lunch. So you go to your counselor, because that's much more than we can do here in the time that we have allotted. But you deal with the fear, and you talk to your counselor about the little girl parenting her mother.
And like I said, don't do anything until you're ready, because if you try to do this with her and you're not solid in yourself, she's gonna eat you up because that's the game she plays. Thank you, okay, tell me something you know now that you didn't know when you called.
That's's hard to say out loud, as hard as to except I've been helping someone.
I want you to say it.
I've been helping say it again. I've been helping a woman never asked me for help. Number one. Number two, I've been operating out of a lesser version or a younger version of myself versus a grown woman, a fiance, a wife, and a mother. And I've been allowing someone to violate their word, not honor, but not respect what we've been trying to do for them.
No, that makes it about them. I want you to keep this on. Got it that I have given someone permission to violate their word with me to dishonor an agreement they made with me. I've given someone permission to dishonor and disrespect me.
Yeah, I've given someone permission to repeatedly, actually verbally physically disrespect me and my household. And I'm not willing to do that.
Yeah, there you go. I'm not choosing that anymore. Choice is your power, Make the choice.
Make the choice.
So okay, my darling, let me know how you make out. Happy baby, Thank you. We have as okay, all right bye. And there's this whole concept of helping my family. I'm helping my family. Sometimes a person hasn't asked for help, and we jump in giving them what we think they need to be helped. Here is a note to file. Write it down. You cannot help someone who didn't ask
for help. You can't help somebody didn't ask for help because the thing you think they need may not be what they see that they need, think they need, feel that they need, and you trying to help them get that thing will always blow up in your face. But here's the big part. It does not help anybody. When you dishonor disrespect yourself, that's not helping somebody to diminish, demean,
dishonor disrespect yourself to lift somebody else up. There's an old African proverb that says this, be careful who you lift, because it puts you on the bottom. And if you lift in too much weight the way is somebody that didn't ask for your help, don't want to be helped, You're gonna get crushed. I hope this has been helpful to someone, and if you have a question about this or any other relationship issue, you can call me live at seven seven five three zero seven seven seven six eight.
Now be sure to follow me on social media for all of the calling times, and until then, stay in peace and not pieces. The R Spot is a production of Shondaland Audio in partnership with iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from Shondaland Audio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.