Mojo Monday - Do You Second Guess Yourself? Here's What to Do With Carly Taylor

Just getting a bit frazzled. Anyway, Today we're going to talk about second guessing yourself, and maybe that's I'm doing a bit of that myself right now, feeling when you need to make a decision and then you start doubting yourself and these questions come up in your mind, like am I doing the right thing? Maybe I shouldn't be doing this, or maybe I should ask somebody if it's the right thing. You know, you kind of need that validation.

This happens to me a lot, and it always has a second Guessing yourself can be really exhausting because it can keep you stuck, it can drain you of confidence, and it can even make really small decisions feel overwhelming. So today we are going to talk about how to stop second guessing yourself. It's just how to manage it. So you can start moving forward, because if you're constantly questioning yourself and hesitating, there's a huge risk that you're going to miss out on a whole lot of life.

And what I mean by that is missing out on all the wonderful good things that can happen, but also missing out on a chance to learn from mistakes if their outcome isn't what we was hoping it was going to be. And at its core, second guessing comes from that part of us that craves certainty and wants everything

to be perfect. It's that internal tug of war. It's like one part of you is ready to move forward and do what's important and to take that risk or while the other one hesitates, fixating on the risks, and that part of your mind is the one that can stop you and keep you in your comfort zone. And this can happen on our own, but it also happens when other people get involved and they plant that seed

of doubt in our minds. But certainty and perfection are illusions because the outcome of any decision is always, to some extent, always beyond our control. And acceptance commitment therapy, which is act we can get stuck in analysis paralysis because we treat our thoughts as facts. We assume that if a thought pops into our heads, I'm not sure if this is right, Maybe I'll get up, maybe I'll upset that person if I say wait, or what if I regret this? Yah yah yah yea, then it means something.

But thoughts are just thoughts, and it's just your mind doing its job. It's so normal because what your mind is trying to do is protect you from danger. Your mind really doesn't care about your goal or success and your well being. It just wants to keep you safe. And that sounds really helpful, but a lot of the time it's not helpful. It's like a really unhelpful friend offering you some really unhelpful advice. And here's the thing. You'll need to dictate your actions, and maybe the thoughts

can help with the process. Of course, we have amazing minds, So for example, if you need to have a difficult conversation with somebody and you're worried that it's going to upset them, then you can really prepare you and prepare your language, your word so you get your point across with empathy and respect. So these thoughts can be helpful if you're aware of what they can offer. But they can also cause us to freeze because we start second

guessing ourselves. And then with the doubt, the more you try and silence it, the louder it, paying so much attention to it, and the more you analyze it, the less chance you're going to take action because you just stay in your head and its action, not over thinking, is what builds confidence. And I've talked about confidence in previous episodes and it means with trust. So we want to build that trust in ourselves. We want to trust the process and then learn if things don't go as planned.

So a really good question to ask ourselves is this thought helpful? And this has been a game changer for me in how I respond to my th, a sort of believing thoughts to be true or false, or right or wrong. We ask ourselves, is this thought helpful for me? Is it helping me? Are the worried thoughts, the over analyzing over this decision? Are they moving me forward or

are they keeping me back? Because if they want to do is rather spend time debating with ourselves about the thoughts or trying to get rid of them, what we want to do is stop the struggle with them, because it's like playing tug of war with that part of our mind, and the only way we can stop the struggle is to rope. And then once we've dropped the rope, we are free to turn around and take action on the things that are important to us. And so that

brings me to values. Your values, not your emotions, are your compass. So you can what a person do I want to be? What sort of character traits do I want to have here, and then use those as your comforts, not your fleeting emotions, and whatever happens, you can put your hand on your heart and you know that you've acted according to your values, because yourself keeps you stuck.

Clarity and confidence comes from action, not from overthinking. So you've got to trust yourself and the process and move forward. And you move forward even if you don't fill one hundred percent confident, even if doubt is screaming in your head, because remember that you wait for it's something that you build through action. And the more you do this, the more confidence and trust you will have. And you will

never gain confidence by not taking action. You won't gain confidence by staying small and by seeking comfort or avoiding you have to move through that. And on the other side is that confidence. So this week, when doubt creeps in on any decision that you are making, big or small, try this. Just notice it, label it. Ask is this, Clarify your values, clarify what is important to you, and then take action using those values as your compass. So thank you for joining me, and if you have made

it this far, thank you for your patience. I know the sound was cutting out sort of in and out through it. Hopefully we will have it fixed up next week. Tech problems are always very frustrating. But have a good week everybody, and I will catch you next week. See yep.