When Worf fires a photon torpedo that goes off course, Picard and Data go on a road trip to retrieve it. Meanwhile, Dr. Crusher’s cure for Lt. Barclay’s flu ends up being a step in the wrong direction. How many arboretums are there? Is Nurse Ogawa’s relationship moving too fast? Is Kevin coming to Deep Space Nine? It’s the episode that’s a really beautiful tableau.
When a nacelle engineer totally puts himself into his work, Worf and Troi are tasked with investigating the circumstances of his death. But when Troi starts displaying some similarly troubling feelings, it's up to Worf to keep her from going over the edge. Is LiveJournal a compulsory part of a Starfleet career? Where's the boldest place to kiss someone for the first time? Are there special phasers for the elderly? It's the episode that's only slightly better than Ben Affleck's first film!
When Data’s attempt to become a sculptor coincides with the ship encountering a rogue comet, eldritch emanations from the heavenly body cause him to take his exploration of an ancient art form way too far. Now the Entrepreneur is in ruins, and the only way to save it is for Picard to go incognito. Did we just witness an ice life genocide? Did Worf and Geordi doom the ship by leaving a torpedo next to an open flame in engineering? Should Picard just blow up the damn ship? It’s the episode that pa...
When Data crash lands on "Planet Renaissance," he starts performing feats of strength and sells dangerous cargo to the blacksmith there. Meanwhile, Counselor Troi studies for a test where her answers have life-threatening consequences. Who's ever seen Space Rangers? What is the loaf of the week? Should we change the show's logo? It's the episode that suffers from mechanical amnesia.
When Riker and Troi embark on a quarterly crew evaluation, four fresh-faced ensigns are pitted against each other to see who will get promoted, and who will be voted off the island. But when the Captain takes a special interest in big-dogging a familiar young Bajoran, the competition turns deadly. What does a staff meeting in Ten Forward sound like? Is Worf the best manager on the ship? Is Troi running a long con to get more face time with Lavelle? Its the episode that will serve as a time capsu...
When Beverly’s grandma wills her an erotic candle, her eye color isn’t the only thing that changes. But Troi and Picard grow increasingly suspicious when she starts dressing like an old. Is this mayor what would happen if the Dark Crystal puppets grew up? Where do babies come from? Was Nagilum an MRA? It’s the episode where we come to loggerheads over podcasting fluid.
When Worf’s brother sends word of pending calamity at the Diet Mintakan planet he’s living on, the Enterprise is there to stand bravely and selflessly by as a young civilization is winked out of existence. But when Dr. Rozhenko sneaks some refugees aboard, the only way to prevent a full blown Prime Directive violation is for Worf to dress up as Carl Weathers. How are these holodeck outages going to affect the ship’s first officer? What’s the best window treatment on which to preserve a historica...
When an Admiral from Starfleet Intelligence comes aboard, the Entrepreneur has to cut its holiday celebration short. But Riker’s misgivings about the mission and the man leading it boil over when a terrible, and very un-Roddenberry secret is uncovered. Is the Hood the Siberia of Starfleet? What is the top Riker? How is the Federation going to smooth this over with the Romulans? It’s the episode where Adam and Ben go to war with each other.
When the Enterprise investigates a misaligned telescope on one of the great arrays, Worf begins experiencing some problems focusing. But when his issues at work spill over into his home life, his wife(!) helps him get back to where he belongs. Do amputees finish ahead of people who are bad at bat'leth? What kind of camping can you do in a shuttlecraft? Is there such thing as "the ultimate man-spread"? It's the episode that proves there's no floor drains in a shuttlebay.
When a federation planet is a bit backed up, the Entrepreneur crew pull on their rubber gloves and get to work. But when one of the scientists starts insisting she’s Data’s mother, the mystery goes more than medium-deep. What’s the perfect can? Is this canonical phaser? Will we ever record sober again? It’s the episode where Data’s similarities to Ronald Reagan really start to trickle down.
When the Entrepreneur goes on a search an rescue mission in a part of space with strange properties w/r/t fields, the situation gets hot in a global sort of way. A strangely loafed pair of siblings have gone Greenpeace on all local spaceships, and it’s up to Picard to deal with their inconvenient truth. When are the Ferengi going to get back to their Vegas residency? Can you Jake your own ship? Does Leonard Maltin review adult films? It’s the episode that’s a hyperbaric chamber preparing us for ...
When Picard and Beverly are abducted and fitted for mechanical nubbins, they start to share more than a mutual love of breakfast. Back on the ship, an extremely paranoid ambassador is trying to build his own bat cave in one of the condos. Does this episode take place in an alternate brunchaverse? Is Worf picking up extra shifts in the transporter room because he’s short on scarves? Is Picard getting a write-off for that Action Jacket? It’s the episode where we finally finish the ‘card bit’…or do...
When Lwaxana Troi drinks from a telepathic firehose, it gives her a wicked headache before putting her into a coma. But when Deanna Troi's investigation results in the discovery of a dark family secret, she must find a way to escape the prison constructed within her mother's mind. What is the easiest stitch? How do you comb your hair around temple loaf? Who does the gardening in the arboretum? It’s the episode that doesn’t have as many good ideas as the number of shows we have to do.
When a new Warp Core is installed, Geordi and Data spend a surprising amount of time on the phone with tech support trying to get it running. The stress really gets to Data, causing him to have bizarre nightmares. Is that super 90’s guy at the conn during third shift now? What are gas prices like in the Federation these days? How hard is it to find an erotic bakery in LA? It’s the episode where we fill up a cup holder.
When Picard turns up alive, he "kills" Commander RIker before taking command of the pirate ship. But when the Enterprise puts Data in charge of the rescue mission, workplace conflicts arise for both crews. Is pain a good leadership style? Where does Picard keep his dog tags? How do dye packs work? It's the episode where we run out of torpedoes.
When Picard turns up dead, the Entrepreneur’s new captain is a vengeance-motivated Riker with total mission discretion. But it’s not long before Riker himself is captured, leaving the ship in Data’s capable, detachable hands. How much disbelief can this show get us to suspend? What’s the best way to maintain your Rimforest? How deep in the lineup do they go before the Entrepreneur doesn’t have a qualified captain? It’s the episode where we tie a red bandana around our bust of Big Rod.
When Geordi starts dabbling in virtual reality, his Batman costume makes it look a lot cooler than it should. But when what he experiences in the virtual world starts to have real-world consequences, he must choose between a dangerous mission and the acceptance of a difficult truth. Does Picard screen calls with a text message? What is honey mustard dressing made of? Is there a burn past the 3rd degree? It's the episode that doesn't waste a side on coleslaw.
When a number of ambassadors for the athleisure movement come aboard, they pair off with crew members while the captain climbs in a suspicious shuttle to their homeworld. But when Picard’s shuttle runs right into a planet and he’s rescued by a space babe, diplomacy is the last thing on anyone’s mind. Why is that roast so hard to cut? Why can Adam do dad jokes with relative impunity? Was remastering Season 7 for HD what broke the studio and caused them not to care? Why is Troi getting a sex ed le...
When the Enterprise crew gets fooled for the tenth time by a kidnapped-and-taken-over Data, the skeleton crew left aboard the ship is their only hope. But when Geordi is subjected to "enhanced acupuncture," their survival depends on rebooting Data's programming. What is a Biff Yeager Unit? Does a replicator have an emergency rationing mode? What happened to Borg gender parity? It's the episode where we interview LeVar Burton!
When the Entrepreneur investigates a trashed outpost, the Borgs return, and they’ve gone from suck to blow. Now the entire crew—and we mean the entire crew—has to go to San Diego to rescue their missing Android. Is Data’s combat program based on MacGruber? How many shift rotations do they have on Dennis Eckersley’s ship? Is Einstein just a frumpier Twain? It’s the episode with incredibly durable plating.
When Picard, Troi, Data and Geordi return from a road trip in a Federation RV, they discover that the show’s leitmotif of bad conference luck has befallen the Enterprise. But when they find their ship and crew buffering in space, it will take contributions from everyone - yes, even Deana Troi - to save them. Have you ever been "pigeon happy"? Do older ensigns begin their training at Art Instruction Schools? Is there such a thing as impression creep? It's the episode that's suffering from tempora...
When Lieutenant Riker finally gets picked up after eight years of perfecting his jack-kata in seclusion, he finds out that a perfect copy of him has been living his life, neglecting his girlfriend, and making choices in his career. Now the full-bearded yellow shirt is trying to win back Troi, complete the mission, and take down a few hands of poker while he’s at it. Is Night Bird a sex move? Which Riker has the more gruesome second quarters? What’s the saddest onion? It’s the episode that was re...
When Worf tampers with a smoke detector in his quarters, he's given a leave of absence to think about what he's done. But after a DNA test comes back positive for "deity," this new leader's presence creates political problems for the Klingon empire. How attached is Worf to his loaf? Can a holodeck babysit a child? Is Mr. DNA also Clippy? It's the episode that's like one long dead-air joke.
When Beverly loses her job as Chief Medical Officer, Guinan can feel the storm coming in her joints. The Doctor proceeds to Rashomon the story of her dismissal to the mysterious bartender, in one of the most peculiarly structured episodes yet. Did Dr. Crusher start getting into subspace to be close to her son? Did the Vulcan Science Academy get woke? Can hats violate the laws of physics? It’s the episode where we fall in love with a dreamy police detective.
When Commander Riker’s mind is compromised on a dangerous mission, his jailers convince him that the life he knew aboard the Entrepreneur has been a fantasy. But when the firewall he’s erected to preserve his sanity begins to crack, Riker must keep his edge or risk finishing his reality too soon. Is the Entrepreneur a Seattle-chill type place? How deep is too deep to bow? Is that a Cardassian pillow? It’s the episode you can think of in a pinch, to keep you in the game.
When Picard’s archaeology mentor comes aboard bearing gifts, it gives him a bad case of career FOMO. And when the professor wraps his Previa around a tree, the captain feels compelled to use it as an excuse to avoid a potentially perilous conference. Is TNG the secret source of contemporary baby names? Did that Cardassian bridge go up someone’s nose? Why didn’t they ever explain why that ship asplode? Can we get through a plot about the theory of panspermia without making puerile jokes? It’s the...
When Captain Picard falls for a pointy coworker, the harmony of their relationship reverberates throughout the ship. But when things heat up on a nearby planet, Picard must make a choice between saving some lives and extinguishing their romance. What's the least Kevin-y impression? Is the Hood the only place you can be truly safe? Who's had the worst life on the show? It's the episode with a decidedly non-Naked Gun love story.
When the Entrepreneur is getting sprayed for space bugs, the entire crew disembarks for a local planet famous for its incessant smalltalk and picturesque horse riding trails. But when a ruthless group of criminals try to steal the nastiest stuff that comes out of the ship’s reactor, only JL Pipes can stop them. How often do the ship’s flight attendants have to do a brief safety demonstration? What other ‘hand stuff’ did Picard learn from Sarek? Is this just Wars trying to pull a heist on Trek? I...
When Worf is taken prisoner behind enemy lines, he turns his incarceration into a Cool Hand Worf-type situation. But when the inmates start regarding their farm implements as the weapons they are, the warden increases Worf's sentence...to death! Do Klingons have two-factor suicide authentication? Why does Worf fall in love so easily? What's the most offensive portmanteau? It's the episode that looks a lot better at night.
When alien technology and indigestion trigger parallel daddy quests for Data and Worf, one goes fully suicidal while the other goes full Rambo. All this is set against a tense backdrop of Captain Picard doing some aqueduct diplomacy and Dr. Crusher doing something decidedly naughty in Quark’s holosuites. Is Deep Space 9 well-lubricated enough for that space butthole? Did Farmer Hoggett get horribly burned in a fire? Under what circumstances is it OK for Worf to go on an unsanctioned black ops mi...
