The Desperate Times

Bird Enthusiasts and Probably El-Whack-A-Mole•podcasters.spotify.com

The Desperate Times Radio Edition is recorded in front of a fake live studio audience in the secret doomsday-bunker/private recording parlor buried half a mile under Oakwood on Virginia Seminary’s campus. As this is a very real and to-be-taken-seriously newscast it quite obviously takes place in the present. 'Present' loosely defined. This podcast is an inside joke about a seminary and bird people. Please enter at your own risk. You can access our print back issues here: https://rb.gy/czi1eh

Last refreshed: July 11th, 2025 at 1:54 PM ⓘ

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Episodes

GOEs, OWLs and some extremely unhelpful advice

It’s your favorite time of the year! And by favorite time of the year, we mean that for thirty of you, it’s time to take a once-in-a-lifetime exam that both is extremely important to the ordination process and not actually a barrier for getting ordained. For the rest of us, it’s a time to feed you snacks and say encouraging things like “you’ll be fine” and “seriously, you’re still gonna get ordained” and “When I WAS a seminarian…”. We at The Desperate Times wanted to read, mark, and inwardly dig...

Jan 05, 2021•18 min•Season 1Ep. 5

St. Nick is not a heretic, and other Christmas discoveries

Just when you thought we'd disappeared for good--defeated by too much eggnog or run over by reindeer, perhaps--here we are again, slipping into your inbox like the Boxing Day sales that you just can't unsubscribe from, no matter how many times you click the unsubscribe button. We present to you, on this St. Stephen's Day, our Christmas episode, featuring an abnormal amount of really stupid jokes that are absolutely true depictions of life at the Virginia Theological Seminary. While we know it is...

Dec 27, 2020•21 min•Season 1Ep. 5

Gander Reveals, Retractions and Regrets, oh my!

We at The Desperate Times would like to confess to a gross injustice, which has come to our attention through various murmurings of discontent over the last few weeks. Although the seminary administration is certain that this discontent—manifesting itself in the form of particularly vicious attacks of procrastination around final exams—is due to the unduly distracting influence of our humble podcast, we are sure this cannot be the case. The injustice we have committed is, in fact, not providing ...

Dec 05, 2020•17 min•Season 1Ep. 3

Who let Gollum go to seminary(?), and other VTS mishaps.

Another year, or week, or decade, another episode of The Desperate Times. Time no longer has any meaning. After the rousing success of our first episode of TDT's radio edition, we are delighted to return to your inbox with more definitely-factual news of life at VTS, since we're pretty sure you haven't read enough real news over the past few weeks. It's a slightly longer episode this time, because Hillary (our Zoom analyst and heresy moderator), forgot to tell the editors that they were only all...

Nov 14, 2020•18 min•Season 1Ep. 2

We've Lost Q, and Other VTS Conundrums

Welcome back to the Desperate Times: Radio Edition! Just when you thought the world might actually be coming to a complete end with no laughter in sight, we're pleased to fulfill all your worst nightmares by reappearing with no hermeneutical or ethical or institutional explanation. If we're being honest, we missed you. It's been fine, really. After assuaging our disappointment over the lack of memes to be created upon the conclusion of TDT's print publishing run, and the stunning drop in cease-a...

Oct 31, 2020•12 min•Season 1Ep. 1

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