I'm sure you thought I was gonna be here talking bout women and reproduction. Nah, come on, you know better than that. I'm never talking about what I'm actually talking about. Well, maybe a little bit. All I know is Benny Hill was on to something when he said, "Have you noticed that all the people in favour of birth control are already born?"
Look, it's not so much that there are bad men as much as you've just made bad choices in men and vice versa. When it comes to 'his and hers,' one item is meant for the male and the other the female. Only now, with the aroma of equality in the air, 'his and hers' are seen more apart than together.
Back in my day, Campbell's Soup bought out a new line of what they called Chunky Soup. These more giant cans of extra-plump ingredients boasted of being so hearty that it can be as filling as having a full course home-cooked meal. The thing is, the mixture is so thick and beefy that although it's a soup typically eaten with a spoon, it's so rich it could also be eaten with a fork. In relationship terminology: Get you a girl that can do both!
Curiosity got me thinking about where the phrase 'trick or treat' came from. While there are many tales out there, I came across one that took my train of thought in a whole other direction. The phrase is a subtle suggestion that if a " treat" (candy) is given, then the child will not perform a " trick " (mischief) on the owner of the house. Hmmm, interesting, right? More than the 'trick' or the 'treat,' the word child stands out to me. It screams, "Give me what I want (frills and thrills), or e...
Even now, in the still of the most nights, as articles dance around in my head, so does the nagging question of, "what if?" That one question that plagues many and taunts us into believing we've missed some golden opportunity. I say, why not flip the script on that thinking? What if your moving out of position was the other person's opportunity to dodge a bullet? What if you acting a plump fool was their blessing in disguise? Sometimes, the benefit is for the antagonist (the villain of the story...
Sidebar: There is a caveat to Standing back. It is not only a process by which you look for flaws. It's also about seeing what is right in front of you. Stepping back helps you recognize the gift in what you already have, why you should be grateful and clues you in on how to ensure your grass always stays green!
After reading the message, I was immediately reminded of the phrase, ".....it's like finding a needle in a haystack." The old cliche suggests it's nearly impossible to find something that small, lost or hidden (you) in something relatively that enormous (the world). You see, that was how I lived my life. No matter how many stages I graced, or how many microphones I stood behind, a large part of me never felt good enough to be there. Isn't that how most of us see ourselves, though? Who me? I'm ju...
Please raise your right hand: Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you, God? Response: I do! If you've never been in a court of law, then you have at least seen this scenario play out on screen in some tv drama. But in these here streets, people swear by any extreme to get the other party to believe what they are saying to be true. Rhetoric like: I'll put my hand on the Bible! On God! On my mama! On my kids, on my life even, has said everyone, who w...
When individuals encounter you, are they moved to put you into escrow (let's call that engagement), which they'll be moved to close (let's call that marriage)? Or are you what they consider a foreclosure (you fail to met obligations) , and they are forced to keep looking? Are you considered a starter home (girlfriend) or a forever (dream) home (a wife) ? Will they find you too much of a liability because you've not been upgraded in the last 20 years? Or will they conclude that you have good bone...
DMX asked a very pertinent question in his song Good Girls, Bad Guys. "Why do (good girls) like bad guys, knowin' that bad guys tell mad lies?" What's even funnier than the irony of the question is that we get mad when they do. Logically speaking, you can't be angry at someone who does precisely what they already told you they'd do. Or can you?
Doing the same thing repeatedly and then expecting a different result is known as insanity. So what should we call doing the same thing over and over already knowing the outcome? I suppose it's what my Bahamian peeps call being the conch! Conch, a cultural food staple, is usually beaten with a mallet before cooking-depending on the dish. Using a 'lil elbow grease, this Mollusca is pounded until it is thin and almost mangled, so it becomes extra tender in the stewing process. I reckon sometimes a...
Recently, for some odd reason, I keep seeing the caption— "broken crayons still colour." For a long time, I too subscribed to this notion that its okay to be broken and functional. I now see this phrase in a whole new light, as it suggests to me that in your broken state, you're still effective. The lie detector determines THIS IS A LIE! Contrary to popular belief, while some broken things still work, don't be fooled, they do not operate at full capacity. Obviously, since people have a tendency ...
Evil step-sisters, wicked queens, big-bad wolves, little boys who lie, a beast, 'thee' prince charming, talking animals, the trickster masquerading as a gentleman, I mean the list of relatable characters goes on. Sarcasm aside, have you seriously ever considered the storyline of a fairytale? There is some seriously twisted stuff that happens! The kind of things that ironically have an identical parallel to real life. I mean just downright discouraging. Just like a fairytale, real life-is sprinkl...
Going outside your house these days without a mask can almost get you charged with indecent exposure. Everything is such a mood that we can no longer tell the difference between regular folk, erring on the side of caution, versus those who wish to exploit this dilemma for personal gain. As if it's not bad enough that we have been ordered to stay indoors ("Yay," screams all the introverts), we are now required to stand 6-feet apart to minimize physical contact. We not singing Diana Ross', 'Reach ...
Olivia Pope, cannot 'it's handled' your life to normalcy. Unfortunately, you can't swipe left on your problems to make them vanish, and you can't put a filter on your issues to make them look cute and flawless. Iyanla Vanzant may be able to muster an excellent tear-jerking conversation, but even she, nor anyone for that matter, can't 'fix' what isn't acknowledged.
In 2011, I caught fire. Yes, I mean, I was going up in flames, while doing a rather typical everyday task. One that I had done at least a thousand times before. Simply cooking dinner. Maybe I'll tell you guys all the gory details some other time. But for now, more than the fire itself, I want to delve into the aftermath. As my bandages were being changed every couple of days, three things about that routine stood out to me. Firstly, the process was embarrassing. Secondly, it was painful. And las...
"What you talkin' bout Willis?" I'm so glad you asked. I use to think that my feelings betrayed me. I use to think when I needed them to be contained, they spewed out like hot lava, when a volcano erupts. After I pulled a scene and calmed down, no matter how much I apologised, that image of me acting the fool was etched in the mind of that individual. I'm sure someone out there has updated my name to 'skitzo' in their contact list. On the heels of the Easter season, I think it's safe to say many...
I know people of my pigmentation and churchgoers alike, may never agree, but hear me when I say this, "Therapy is NOT only for the person that just flew over the cuckoo's nest!" Okay, let's level--if you have a heart condition, you’d fly your tail to a cardiologist simply because he specializes in that, right? Well jumpin' Jehoshaphat, why won't you go to see someone that specializes in helping you fix your broken emotions? No, you'd rather be out here spewing toxic juice on people, like being s...
Can somebody, anybody, please tell me how to play the hand you're dealt, in the relationship game of life? I can't even count the number of incidences that had me on the perpetual date, break-up, and make-up merry-go-round. I nearly pulled every strand of hair from my head, and if you know me that's already very little hair. Ultimately, all I wanted to do was look up to the sky and scream, "God, that's enough already!" What kind of luck could I have possibly had to keep repeating the same relati...
So, rumour had it that Idris told R n' B Singer K. Michelle, he could never be committed to just one woman. Then low and behold, People's Magazine 2018's Sexist Man Alive turned around and not only committed to a different woman but even gave that sista his last name. He met his now-wife in 2017, was engaged to her by 2018 and sealed the deal in 2019. I'll tell you (and as bad as it may sound) it was a smidgen comforting to know situations like this don't just happen to us, regular people. Yes. ...
If you're reading this article in search of the answer to this question, sorry, you won't find it here. I'm single, what the heck do I know? Like you, this sister has more questions than answers. An inquiring mind wants to know what exactly is 'irreconcilable differences' and is there such a thing as 'me time' in marriage? Better yet, how much of homeslice's annoying habits does a wife endure (like if mister forgets to put down the seat) before she spazzes out and vice-versa? But more importantl...
By definition, an 'edge' is considered the outside limit of an object or area. It's the place furthest from the center, that provides a border. I suppose if we translate that into relationship terminology, we can refer to 'edges' as boundaries. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm the girl that has to learn everything the hard way. I was that kid who you'd tell the stove is hot and I'd just have to touch it to see if it was as hot as you said it is. Yes, I'm that girl and I don't want ...
When I was growing up, we girls prided ourselves on being sugar and spice and everything nice. While little boys were said to be made of snips and snails and puppy dog tails. Yet while as kids, we said 'yuck' to the thought of the opposite sex, as adults, it's all we seem to crave. Though boys pulling a girl's pigtails was regarded as a sign of affection, it has morphed into something a lot less desirable-like catcalling. Still, we've just grown into women hoping and wishing that the popular boy...
As the offering pan passed me and I observed what we call 'gift-giving', I smiled to myself, though I'm not sure for a good reason. I realized that sometimes 'we' can be just like that pan. Being passed from hand to hand, but not everyone, we make contact with deposits or leaves something tangible. Several thoughts raced through my mind. Chief among them was how I could begin to limit ' what ' goes in and ' who ' gives into my symbolic pan. Women are known as 'receivers', and what we are given i...
We have at one time, or the other heard someone say, "I don't give two hoots what you say about me!" When I hear that, I automatically want to say, "Ah, stop lying!" Then again, I suppose it won't be fair that I think the statement is untrue for the person saying it. All I know is this, that statement is not the case for everyone. Even when 'they' say it is. Deep down inside, we often care a little more than we'd like to admit.
"You wait til' I get to heaven, I ga' tell Eve bout her........!" Hey, you! Pique down, missy! Can we please, for the love of God, let Eve rest in peace already? From the time I could tie my shoes, poor Eve has been dragged through the mud for eating the apple or whatever it was that she ate in the garden. Since before humans discovered fire, my girl has been catching flack for everything from P.M.S. to chapter 7 bankruptcy. At this point, I just want to resurrect Johnny Cochran to get the indic...
