It's time for a few guys from Mr. Waverley's class to get together for a little table top RPG action. I've you ever played D&D, or just wanted to have a dagger of donkey understanding, a trident of peeing overboard, or some cinnamon back pants, this one's for you! Or even if you've ever thought of a penguin as an uncle of another bird. It's for you, too! Get in there!
Is your hat flavored like a church? Do you have a syndrome that makes your eyes look like your ears? Well, then, looks like it's time for a visit to the folksy ol' country doctor. Just take one pill at pretzel hour every time the top half of your body sins against the bottom half, and part your hair on the inside of your head. You'll be just fine.
Holy crap, we're back! We've missed you! Did you miss us? Did you want to hear one of those late night talk shows where they bring on a zoo keeper? And he brings on all kinds of animals like a Wacky Thumb Baby that is indigenous to Stuart's house? Or a cross between a cheetah, a leopard, and a board? Or a t-shirt that says, "IF YOU'RE TOO CLOSE TO THIS SHIRT THEN YOU ARE"? Well, then this is your lucky week. Stay safe out there, ding dongs!
You know how sometimes you need a nice cup of coffee? No, like, a really GOOD cup of coffee, from one of those coffee shops where the coffee is roasty, like the underwear of a giant? Where you leaf through pamphlets about screwing while you have some owl cakes and shunning cream? Well, grab a chair, take a sip, and enjoy this episode!
Nothin' like a day on the farm. You get up, you farm, a lot. Then you just keep right on farming. You do it even if you fall off a chairlift into a bottle of chastity oil. You don't stop farming, even if your mama got a pickle stuck in her werewolf. This episode is like that. With all the farming a farm could want.
A couple of patrolmen, in the car, in a town where lemonade is waiting for you. They sew their own guns, they inhale next to doorknob shops, and they've got a tangerine just waiting to give in. You know - COPS. Get in there now, before you come across any knee-high cranberry merchants!
This week, it's a harrowing tale from the depths of the briny deep. The kind of story that involves PorchMaster, the Master of all Porches, and a whale's big friend, Arthur. Learn all about the Australian ritual of sweetening a rake, and it's all brought to you by BewareBarn. Enjoy!
Today, it's everyone's favorite obstacle course game show, brought to you by Friendliness Ice Cream's Beat One, Eat Your Car Sale! So, if you're in the mood for a big blackened beef salad or a sad-flavored Michelob straight from the neck of a troll, this one's for you!
You know those survival shows where a couple of guys have to survive deadly wig-wearing vapor snakes and hose animals, and lie down in the shape of a radio? Where you learn about egg nog and mel nog, and how you can't loan a dolphin because no one would give them back? Yeah? Really? Well, this is like that.
Our beloved friend, Miss Issatelia and her manservant, Reginald or Franklin or something, have returned. Miss I's granddaughter, Cholestria (ask your doctor if Cholestria is right for you) is all in a kersnizzle. Her beau, Scriggy, is penniless, and a terrible match, and her grandmother has set up meetings with all the most eligible bachelors in town. One of them has a sneeze defender. And a hedgehog, maybe. Enjoy it with someone you love. Or someone you tolerate, but can enjoy being around when...
Have you ever felt a deep sense of gratitude for those history buffs who know all about the Civil War, General Hairy Hat, and the Easter pushups contest? Well, look no further. This week, we meet a couple of Civil War re-enactors, who know all about the Battle of Pluperfect Ridge, how men wore cleats to bed, and all that Civil War stuff. Get in there!
Well, this week on the Big Outdoor Kids Funtime Show, there's a rumor that there's a new animal at the circus! Will it be a tinkle squirrel, or a drizzle beast? A bird with a criminal background? Will Koslov the strongman get his new climbing gopher? Well, there's no way to know unless you listen. So, you know, do that.
This is one of those episodes where it's a hodgepodge of things. We hodge you with some commercials for stuff that will make crawdads wish they were farming, and then WHAM, we podge you with a film starring TourniquetBaby as WaterMan, coming this theater to Falls! You know. One of those.
You know those TED talks, where a brilliant scientist shows you the world in a way you've never seen it before? Where you learn that a carrot will repel gravy? Where the scientist earned their porkulate degree from the University of Sad Sad Sacks? Where a Frankenberry crankshaft is involved? You know those science talks? Yeah, you do. Yeah, well, this is just like that. Enjoy!
SuperGalactic Returns! And our sci-fi heroes, Strider Zorn and Grunk, are right where you left them. No need to ask where. You remember that and clearly so do we, so why even mention it, right? Sure. Zorn and Grunk are on a mining colony with their new robot, JBOT5x, trying to free some enslaved miners. And everything goes perfectly, you know? Jorak Mult doesn't show up to help, nor does Carol Channing. It's all just, you know, exactly by the numbers. Just like usual.
You know the story. It's the holidays, and you don't always get what you asked for, like a Canadian Beast Gourd, or a notebook that grips you while you sleep. Well, the GeraldMart returns counter is open, and ready to help you share your dingle coupon with a porpoise, if that helps. And, of course, it does.
Looking for that last-minute gift idea? A holiday collectible from Scuba & Sons? How about a leather angel with a lazy eye? Or a Christmas eel that will scrape fungus off your onions? Well, the holiday superstore's got it all. Fill up a tiny cup with Arnold Juice and come on down!
You know how there's always that one toy that every kid wants? Like the Barf-In-My-Vest Betsy Doll, or the Mister Moth Hurts Me Kit? Well, this year, it's the Eyeball Crouton Kit, and our hero just has to find one for his son, whose name he definitely knows. Enjoy it with someone you love. At the Monster Truck Air Breathing Contest.
You know those classic gladiator stories? The ones where one of the gladiators comes along, thighs approaching, and talks about how the fin is the shark of the shark? No, no, the ones where you find out where your woopyness comes from? The kind where you use the film "Ripen Me, Daddy," as a reference? Yeah. We don't either. We don't know anything about it.
Need some help preparing your holiday dinner? Need a venomous butt moth? Need some stuffed Rambo flakes, and some sauce that you've soaked overnight? Need a BolognaBot? Well, look no further! Super Pee Pee Time is BACK, with Chef Rene and Charlene, to help you prepare any type of holiday dish. So, when your grandma wakes up and says "Heat me," you'll know it's time to enjoy this episode. So, do it!
Do you ever just wish your grandpa and his old, weird friend would sit you down and tell you stories about when they were in the war? Of course not, right? But what if those stories featured diet Herman juice, and getting stabbed by a train with a knife? That's a little better, isn't it? Sure. Sure, it is.
It's that time of year, friends, when the moon is extra full, and you realize that you will sleep with the badgers tonight. It's our Halloween special! So put your hand on your Robitussin stain, and enjoy this creepy werewolf tale that involves claymationing each other, and winking at you with stupid paste.
Well, it's that spooky time of year again, when Bela Lugosi cradled a frog, when you find yourself packing your crossbow that sips juice for you, and heading out into the zombie apocalypse. So if you feel the need for a zombie thriller, or you just want to massage a loan shark or comb a pharmacist, well, this one's for you.
Well, friends, Reverend Ben and Donald are back with the Kind of Watching a Baby Ballgame Broadcast, to try to keep the demon of cranberries from finding its way into your pajamas. So if you're looking for information on the monthly Spaghetti Breakfast, or just want to learn how to wave to a chirping ski monster, this one's for you!
You know those art galleries, where snooty artists go around commenting on all the art, and how to loan a church to a giant, and bowling with a werewolf, and using punching bags as friends? This episode is just like that, only different. Enjoy it with a horrible, horrible Michelob!
When famous daredevil, Choots Postato (probably) set up his big stunt, we were there to capture the thrills, the danger, the skwooks (which is a skunk that has ripped its face off.) All of it. Will he survive the jump? You'll have to listen to not find out. And just remember, there's a mustard owl inside each and every one of you.
Y'all have a hankerin' for one of those old time, frontier romances? You know, one of the ones that comes complete with a love triangle, a nerf dreidel, and some fresh newberry pie? With fantasies of kids running around with trees for friends, and a girl, streaking her hair with gerbil oil? Sure you are. Why wouldn't you be? Well, here you are, then! Enjoy!
The fanciest restauranteurs are back once again, with their newest creation: BirdDog Restaurant! It's almost too fancy. Like, "a prince put his foot into a whale" fancy. Like, "screaming into a pelican" fancy. You can see this level of fanciness in the face of a rectal librarian.
It's that time of year, when you need a deal on a new automobile. The first two thousand customers can share Tammy's lunch! And if you can guess how many fur are on this cat, you win a prize! And if that's too stressful, calm down with this guided meditation. Inhale peace and exhale a hatchet, and then I want you to throw a flute at a prince
You know those home improvement shows, where a nice young couple is sleeping in a fecal area of an army barracks, and they're hoping to upgrade to a butler's pantry and a pantler's buttry? The kind where you think you have a cat but really you just have a disease? The kind with a built-in love portion? Us neither! But we do now. Enjoy!
