This week, we welcome David Lea to Substance, Not Psychobabble. He is a relationship coach, a trauma specialist, and an expert on masculine and feminine energy. He explores the healthy and unhealthy masculine and feminine in us all, and teaches us how to bring our polarized parts into harmony within us and our relationships. David's message resonates with strength and clarity: your relationship issues aren't about the relationship, they're about YOU. And the good news is: you can do something ab...
May 05, 2025•1 hr 33 min
Last Saturday, I spent a good amount of time in my yard, weeding. My thoughts turned to mental health, and I thought a lot about how to get down to the root of a problem to eradicate it rather than just grasping at the surface issue and leaving the roots intact. Why? Because weeds which are not pulled up from the root grow back, just like our problems and struggles when we don't address the root cause, they seem to crop back up. This week we take a brief but deep dive into what needs to happen t...
Mar 24, 2025•35 min
This week we delve into the real issue... past the emotions, the mental distress, the "diagnosis" your psychiatrist uses to categorize you. We look at the REAL root cause of ALL mental and emotional distress. Hint: it's not a brain malfunction or a chemical imbalance. It's far simpler than that: it's what you believe about yourself and the world. Yes, your belief systems are shaping your entire life. But what if they're false? What if we've built our entire life on a belief system that can't sta...
Feb 17, 2025•40 min
I interviewed one of my heroes! Dr. Chip Dodd, author of the seminal and bestselling book "The Voice of the Heart," is our guest on this week's podcast. Get ready to understand your feelings and how you're made to function. Get ready to feel restored to YOURSELF. Get ready for truth bomb after truth bomb. And get ready to take copious notes. If a podcast has the ability to heal you, this is the one. (Sorry for the audio quality on my end. My mic wasn't properly attached. But don't listen to me a...
Feb 10, 2025•1 hr 24 min
This week we take a closer look at why some people grow and change, and some don't. We'll unpack what is necessary for inner transformation to occur. Hint: it's simple but not easy. Most people will NOT do the work and simply live their lives blaming others and making excuses, but for those who brave themselves, transformation is inevitable. For more information about online groups: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact To contact me about the podcast: thepodcast@vanessalondino.com...
Jan 27, 2025•39 min
Human beings have a unique relationship with the past that sets us apart from any other animal: we can meaningfully reflect on the past and learn from it. Unfortunately, this also means that we get stuck in it sometimes. This week, we tackle what a healthy relationship with the past looks like. Why should we talk about and reflect on the past, and when? And how do we shut the door and move on? Send me an email about the podcast! I’d love to hear from you: thepodcast@vanessalondino.com For inform...
Jan 20, 2025•41 min
Pain is inevitable. It's an unavoidable truth. Yet, we all want to avoid it and end it as quickly as possible. Without being wise about what kind of pain is good and healthy and what kind of pain is unhealthy, we risk trying to rid ourselves of ALL pain, and we won't grow as a result. This week, we analyze healthy and unhealthy pain and what to do about both. If life is pain (and it is), we need to consider our pain carefully and purposefully. ** If you like this podcast, please subscribe and sh...
Jan 13, 2025•31 min
Welcome to a new year, Everyone! This week we examine the motivation and mechanics of change. What makes changes really stick? And role does excuse making have in our attempts at growth? for more information on groups: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact To send me info or questions about the podcast : thepodcast@vanessalondino.com
Jan 06, 2025•36 min
As we wind down a year, let's plan to start 2025 with our best foot forward. This week, we explore the four books you should read at the start of every year. They're refreshers and reminders of what a sound, mentally healthy life looks like. (No, my book isn't in the top four, but it did receive an honorable mention. ;-)) For more information on the online group: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact To order the Toolbox: https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repair/dp/173638...
Dec 16, 2024•29 min
You might remember our previous interview with Dr. David Thornton called "You Are Holy." He's a therapist in the Nashville, TN area who specializes in spiritual abuse, and because we simply can't get enough of David, he's back to point us on another path toward our true selves, toward healing. So sit back, get yourself a cup of tea, and let David's voice guide you into the places you fear, only to realize that the only thing there is Love. For more information on David: https://davidthorntonther...
Nov 18, 2024•42 min
We've all heard the phrase: "get a thicker skin." It means to toughen up, not let things affect you, don't be so sensitive, or don't take it personally. This week we look at this common phrase and the harm it causes. It's part of family dysfunction, and it's actually a reaction to unnecessary cruelty. What kind of boundaries can we set with aggressive people? Or should we all try to just get a thicker skin? For more info on the online group: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact...
Nov 05, 2024•33 min
This week, Valentina Bain - an epigenetic coach - walks us through how our genes affect our mental and physical health. Yes, our genes! The genetic blueprint of our entire life from the moment of conception to death. Are we fighting nature? Are we aligned with what our bodies actually want and need? Valentina breaks it down and makes it possible to approach your own personal health with precision. Website- www.ValentinaBain.com Instagram- @valentina.bain...
Oct 07, 2024•1 hr
This week we have the distinct pleasure of having spiritual teacher, coach, and healer, Erika Enriquez, on the show. Her clarity and understanding of the Inner Child can advance us all on the road of healing. Her life wasn't easy and these lessons were hard won, but the grace and *appreciation* she has for everything that formed her will give you a new perspective on the hardship in your life. Request a topic on the podcast: thepodcast@vanessalondino.com Click here to follow me on Instagram: htt...
Sep 23, 2024•56 min
A client asked me a question two weeks ago that got me thinking... I haven't told you the whole story. This week, I tell you what the turning point was in my own life. To learn more about groups, click here: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact
Sep 16, 2024•54 min
The final installment of our series on the Drama Triangle brings us to the "Persecutor," aka the "bad guy" or the villain. This is the most aggressive role and often the most damaging. Tune in this week to learn how the Persecutor operates, why, and how you can stop shifting into this role. For information on groups or the Toolbox workshop, click here: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact
Aug 26, 2024•40 min
Last time we took a deep dive into the Victim Mindset, this time it's the second leg in Karpman's Triangle: The Rescuer. This is the person who gets the most praise and has the "best" reputation. They'll give you the shirt off their back, but is it really about helping? Today we explore how to actually help someone in need, when to help, when to let them figure it out, and how to STOP rescuing others from their own consequences. To learn more about the Toolbox Workshop, Online Groups, or to be f...
Aug 13, 2024•56 min
What is a victim? What is the difference between being victimized and having a victim mindset? This week and for the next two weeks in July, we're going to take a deep dive into each role in the famous "Drama Triangle." From Victim, to Rescuer, to Persecutor, we all need to develop some awareness about how these roles inhabit us in conflict and what we can do to get out of them and out of the dreaded drama triangle. Don't we all play the victim sometimes? Why do we do it? Listen today to find ou...
Jul 08, 2024•47 min
Some of my favorite work is when adult clients bring in their parents. Brave souls enter my office in their 70s and 80s, willing to do whatever it takes to break dysfunction and free their children and grandchildren from the chains of trauma that hold generations captive. But what does it take to heal a family system? A lot. It's not easy. But it's possible. Share this podcast with members of your family with whom you seek healing. To learn more about online groups: https://www.vanessalondino.co...
Jun 24, 2024•57 min
We talk a lot about healing on this podcast. Healing from depression... anxiety... trauma. What if I told you that healing from schizophrenia was possible? Naturally? Without drugs? From inner work? Today's guest will prove me right. Tracey has walked one of the bravest roads and come out of it healed and helping others to heal. She tells her story of how healing is possible for everyone who's willing to dig in deep. WARNING: Extremely graphic stories of abuse. Please listen with caution. To req...
Jun 10, 2024•1 hr 10 min
"It's a chemical imbalance!" "It's hereditary." "I'm predisposed to it..." We've been told so many complicated, unhelpful reasons for why we suffer in life. Our mental and emotional distress leads us to therapist after therapist, and it can feel hopeless. Their diagnoses give us no information about what went wrong in our lives, just the shameful insinuation that something is wrong with us . We believe the best we can do is manage our symptoms. I'm here to tell you... you can heal. For more info...
Apr 29, 2024•42 min
This week I have the honor of interviewing one of my earliest inspirations in this field. I met Virgil Stucker, then the Executive Director of Cooper-Riis healing community in Asheville, NC, when I was just an intern. The impact of that meeting and the subsequent visit to Cooper-Riis changed me forever and set my feet on a path of helping others in the most humane and effective way possible. Simply put, this interview will make you a better person. To be part of an online group, click here: http...
Apr 08, 2024•1 hr 1 min
The current moment is telling us: "You don't need a relationship. You don't need anyone. You need to be perfectly fine alone." But is that realistic? For a species that is as socially complex and needy as human beings, is the idea that we can thrive without intimacy reality or fantasy? This week we take a look at what it takes for a relationship to truly be a healing presence in our lives and the work it takes to build that. For online groups, click here: https://www.vanessalondino.com/contact...
Mar 11, 2024•38 min
This interview is one I've been chomping at the bit to bring to you! Erin Watt, a masterfully skilled and highly sought after relationship coach, is our guest this week, and believe me when I say: she brings it! Get ready to learn concepts that are going to change and better how you see yourself in relationships. Get ready to feel empowered and encouraged to pursue your relationships with the skill you need to help them thrive. Erin breaks down our highest potential and our most frequent pitfall...
Feb 26, 2024•1 hr
The old saying goes, "You can't really love someone until you can love yourself." This week we unpack this and ask ourselves, "Is this really true?" Can we only love someone if we’ve learned how to love ourselves? Are we capable of love if we’ve never formed it within? Let me know what you think! thepodcast@vanessalondino.com And write to me here if you want to be featured on “Ask V!” Link to purchase the Toolbox for Valentine's Day: https://www.amazon.com/Toolbox-Tools-Build-Relationships-Repai...
Feb 12, 2024•25 min
This week I address a question a listener sent me on Instagram. Heather is facing a dilemma with a friend who's really changed. She feels distant and even mistreated. So the question arose: how long do we stick in there with someone and when is it okay to say, “Enough is enough?” We look at dramatic changes in personality from a psychological lens, and we also examine what it means to be a friend and who do we really need in our lives? Click here to schedule a time to call in and "Ask V!” thepod...
Feb 05, 2024•45 min
This week we have the distinct honor of having Michael Giles as our guest. He's a therapist, a coach, an Army Captain, and he's a dog-lover, so we know he's good people! We dive into the experience of working with men in therapy and what the specific needs of men are. We agree about most things! Michael is skilled, experienced, thoughtful, and fair. You're going to learn a lot and love this interview. To read the article we reference in the podcast, click here: https://www.mg-counseling.com/blog...
Jan 29, 2024•1 hr 31 min
Unfortunately, the field of mental health is susceptible to gimmicks, just like any other industry. Today we focus on the basic, time-tested pillars of mental health versus the quick fixes that get you nowhere. Mental health is not a birthright. It's not inherited. It's not easy. Like physical health, mental health takes work and commitment. Frankly, it's hard work. It's much easier to make excuses for ourselves than it is to confront ourselves and truly grow, just like it's a lot easier to sit ...
Jan 15, 2024•35 min
Happy New Year to all! This week, we take a thorough look at what we're carrying with us into 2024 and what we need to let go of. Carrying extra weight will slow us down, causing us to lose focus on our dreams and goals. We talk about what "baggage" means and how to live light and free. So many of us carry the burden of others' choices as well as the untenable weight of the past. Today we talk about how to let it all go. To learn more about the Naturopathic Psychotherapy group, starting this yea...
Jan 01, 2024•38 min
This week we have a special guest: Dr. David Thornton. David is a licensed clinical pastoral therapist and an expert in spiritual abuse. At a time of year when so many are observing religious traditions and searching for God, it's also a time of year when many get in touch with their own emptiness and longing for something beyond us. This week, we take a deep look at what it means to be safe on a spiritual level. This interview will have you laughing, crying, and searching your own soul. It's an...
Dec 18, 2023•1 hr 13 min
The medical industry has completely taken over mental health. That means, instead of looking at root causes of mental distress and treating the whole person, mental health professionals are taught to do what doctors do: diagnose based on symptoms and focus their efforts on lessening the symptoms. I don't work that way, and I don't believe people heal that way. Your symptoms are telling your story and point out the path of healing. They're important. In February 2024, I'm starting an online group...
Dec 11, 2023•37 min
