- Get ready for the 2025 Tour de France and learn which award we are stealing from the race for college football - Choose your Frisco Lady Fighter - A brief tour of early Hot Dog Eating Contests - Hoopfest: Medical Nightmare or Safest Sport of All Time? - Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Christian Ashlock - Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz - Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because a second...
Jul 02, 2025•1 hr 12 min
- Let's remember some boys: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2004/08/30/the-boys-4 - Breaking some college basketball news to Spencer - Hideo Kojima reveals himself to either be a longtime listener or our personal puppeteer - We put Ryan in space- College World Series film breakdown - Tracing the historical legacy of college football coaches getting thrown out of games, featuring field legends Will Muschamp and Woody Hayes - Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Matthew Flovski - Check...
Jun 25, 2025•1 hr 17 min
Parade bad Smell worse Give Gravedigger a gun Pre-writers busted Fun new game for first responders We know how to fix the NBA Finals Souvenons-nous de quelques gars de chaise Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClure Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because a second simply cannot exist, at falconscottproductions.com Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid ...
Jun 18, 2025•1 hr 23 min
This is somehow the first episode where Ryan has reason to ask Spencer "Are you recording your living will right now?" We're joined by Scott of Action Cookbook fame in an attempt to fix the annoying parts of the college football postseason. We do accomplish that goal by the end of the episode. We're calling this solution "The Knockout Game," a term of our own invention Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerant...
Jun 11, 2025•1 hr 10 min
It's time once again for our annual Italian cycling episode, and Cap'n Surber's got the mic What endurance athletes can learn from elite hot-dog eaters A Ryan segment serving as a reminder that we are also the nation's leading NAIA baseball podcast The legend(s) of Rev The River Monster Women's College World Series celebratory segment, pointedly and hurtfully excluding Stanford Moving through our typical progression, we come next to the Knicks coaching search All of this sounds made up and someh...
Jun 04, 2025•1 hr 7 min
For the holiday week, we bring you a treat: the unearthed recording of our summer 2024 live show in Raleigh, North Carolina, featuring the third installment of our most popular running disaster theme: lawns and the calamities that befall them Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Russell Powell Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is not a college football show because a second simply cannot exist...
May 28, 2025•57 min
First order of business: Ryan selects a new CEO for college football Second order of business: What is the ideal name for each position player in football? Lots of announcements in this one, helpfully collected for you in the podcast business section right smack in the middle of the episode Help us run up the score on intrepid reader Emily’s fundraiser for Georgia STOMP: https://secure.givelively.org/donate/georgia-stomp-inc/emily-brand-0 RSVP for the June 28th Charity Bowl celebration in Ann Ar...
May 21, 2025•1 hr 25 min
It is time to be concerned about Ryan's emotional processing What do Interstellar, Little Giants, and Grave of the Fireflies have in common? The Legend of Cookie Man Spencer identifies the true fast food restaurant of Saudi Arabia An important discussion about Michael Jordan winning Luc Longley's clothing Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Michael Sitler Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz Listen to Phantom Island, Ryan’s new show with Godfrey, which is ...
May 14, 2025•52 min
Folks we're fighting the atheists with our heavenly dicks again Let's use that viral soda map to do conference realignment Perils of the new GTA Ryan is mad about the Kentucky Derby for reasons you probably cannot predict but we hope you will appreciate Where to go for lunch in America Test driving our Mike Lombardi voices Critical support to the gotcha merchants at CBS Sunday Morning Staring uneasily at the normies cresting the horizon of the Belichick chronicle Fullcast theme song arranged and...
May 07, 2025•1 hr 19 min
Spencer and Jason welcome Joel Anderson for a discussion of this year’s biggest NFL draft surprises, and also all the theme parks they have been to where people have died. Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz Sign up for update's about Ryan's secret new project at falconscottproductions.com Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/ DID YOU KNOW: Holly and...
Apr 30, 2025•1 hr 16 min
This episode starts with "Vatican III is for dogs," if you want to set your expectations ahead of time The Haint ™ is also feeling EXTRA festive, so just prepare yourselves spiritually for that We are minus one Ryan this week and plus one Victoria Zeller. Double celebrity author show!! Pre-order Victoria's book here, if you're a ball-knower or would like to be perceived as such: https://victoria.monster/#bookdrive Charity Bowl results are in! Y'all blew us away! You can see the results at moneyc...
Apr 23, 2025•1 hr 12 min
- Welcome to Charity Bowl week, now featuring new tools to track how badly you're beating your rivals at https://www.moneycannon.org/ - The questions mainstream media isn't asking about Steve Belichick - Finding coaches with overly long Wikipedia career summaries - The Cursed Island of the 2007 Atlanta Falcons - Maybe this is the Charity Bowl stretch goal Spencer will fulfill - This week's theme song by Trey McClure - Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz - Sign up f...
Apr 16, 2025•1 hr 26 min
Ryan shares a bold vision of the future for EA Sports' flagship college football property Final Four Recap Which teams in what sports do we think we could coach to a precise .500 record in one season? A refresher course for fired coaches The 2025 Charity Bowl begins on April 14 Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Russell Powell Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz Sign up for update's about Ryan's secret new project at falconscottproductions.com Check out ...
Apr 09, 2025•1 hr 34 min
Holly contemplates some recreational tree surgery Meet a new Lady Uncle Major League Baseball injury report Requisitioning elements of other sports to build a better or at least more interesting form of college football Merch Madness totals announced and new PTKU initiative unveiled! The 2025 Charity Bowl begins on April 14 Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Nick Kivi Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're ...
Apr 02, 2025•1 hr 16 min
Ryan shares his bold new vision for personal banking Spencer gets a new nickname Yes, Venom is also in this episode. You're welcome A dive into the lore of Gatorlode® "How do y'all vomit?" This will eventually be known as "the Halle Berry episode" for a couple different reasons, and we're confident you will be surprised by both of them! Tips for Men: Maximize productivity in your morning routines! Is This Movie A Sports Movie? <--- discuss It's Merch Madness time! What's that mean? Several th...
Mar 26, 2025•1 hr 28 min
Recorded October 2024 at Furnace Fest Our loudest WWWWWWWWWWELCOME ever Closing pitcher Gasolina Shark Anatomically correct UGA band formation Yes, Michigan-Ohio State has always been like this Rock Jam Cock/Christ Fest I gotta save my family’s bass clarinet farm The rap song you should never play in Philly Country Roads circle pit Check out Surber’s band, Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrati...
Mar 19, 2025•1 hr 31 min
We have invented several new forms of golf It's Merch Madness time! What's that mean? Several things! First, we've got some new items up in the Shutdown Fullstore ( www.preownedairboats.com ) celebrating Protect Trans Kids University But that's not all: From now through the end of the month (that month is March 2025), ALL proceeds from our store – PTKU gear, Antioch the Birthday Spider greeting cards, everything – will be divided evenly and donated to Trans Lifeline ( https://translifeline.org/ ...
Mar 12, 2025•1 hr 27 min
Dale update Let's check in on our favorite childhood pal, Peeing Calvin Window Decal Clemson and Florida State and the ACC make up, sort of. Surely nothing like this will never happen again Welcoming Bobby Bowden back to the show This week on Podcast Business: Soft banks, hard decisions Jason and Spencer announce some new projects Ryan tests his skills as an actuary Sharing our offseason goals and ungoals Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Trey McClure Check out Surber’s band Killer A...
Mar 05, 2025•1 hr 23 min
It's possible we had other plans for this episode. Those plans went out the window in the first minute after Ryan asked Spencer, Holly, and Surber why they loved Dale Earnhardt Pluto is still a planet Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Caleb Curtis Check out Surber’s band Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? htt...
Feb 26, 2025•1 hr 27 min
A quick round of Let's Remember Some Defunct Professional Football Teams, Or Are They There's a new Civ game out, so please enjoy Spencer and Jason's presences while we have them Actually we made the whole episode out of Civ, sorry Introducing the Hog Of Mirth: Somehow Not A Sex Thing Making stolen relics in Hobby Lobby work for YOU Enter The Potatotorium Fullcast After Dark theme song arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham Check out Surber’s band Killer Antz: https://linktr.ee/killerantz Li...
Feb 19, 2025•1 hr 22 min
- WELCOME TO THE OFFSEASON, where we discuss things like - How come Nic Cage has never played an astronaut - Activating your glutes to podcast - A basketball legend named Foots - The Tragic, Recurring Tale of Montoya - Matt Patricia, Wikipedia nightmare - A canonical announcement about the Tooth Fairy's NFL loyalty - This week's theme was arranged and performed by Corey Cunningham - Enjoy the musical stylings of Surber's band, Killer Antz https://killerantz.bandcamp.com/ - Consider Ryan's narrat...
Feb 12, 2025•1 hr 23 min
The Internet's Only College Football Podcast teams up with noted NFL/media criticism podcast Split Zone Duo to review. Topics include: - Stadium Tarp or Giant Blanket? - How to Acquire Vintage Diseases and Maladies - The World's Largest Outdoor Grave Desecration- Best Birthday for a Michigan Mom - The Siren Song of Hot Chocolate - Go Birds - Go Bills - Do Not Go Jags - And then we turned off the recorder for a DARK MATCH - Theme song arranged by Trey McClure - Listen to Ryan's other, less harrow...
Feb 04, 2025•1 hr 36 min
- This show title is not about Jerry Jones but we do talk about Jerry Jones - Surprisingly normal assessment of a college football personnel move (alarming, we know) - Ryan reveals a recent moment of failure to be a true Eagles fan - Holly Anderson plays the role of Spencer Hall - The Super Bowl: Mount Healthy vs. Scorpion Bay - Important new business idea for cat owners that you can't steal from us - This week's theme song arranged and performed by Todd Kitchen - Listen to Ryan's other, less ha...
Jan 29, 2025•1 hr 24 min
- More attempts at ASMR from Ryan - When Airplanes Get Hungry - The worst place to watch Act II of Oklahoma - The Mystery of the Abandoned Retirement Community Car - Katie vs. Biker Gang vs. Cops vs. Katie - Sewage Pump Missile Keys - May God grant you the confidence of a lady who brings her bird wherever she pleases - Forklifts: The Ultimate Revenge Tool - Bring Him Home (him is a gun) - This week's theme song arranged and performed by Michael Surber with Metallica - Listen to Ryan's other, les...
Jan 22, 2025•1 hr 28 min
The title game is still going on when this episode begins. It is over when the episode ends. Relive the final 13 minutes and 54 seconds with us! This isn't as entertaining as the time we popped in live during that one Bama-Clemson title game. You know the one, where Bama used their kicker as a lead blocker on 4th and 6. Also, Clemson was lined up in a FG-safe alignment five yards off the line of scrimmage because it was 4th and 6. So as soon as the kicker bailed on his usual thing (immediately),...
Jan 21, 2025•1 hr 20 min
The college football playoff national championship game is next week. But first: The Dallas Cowboys Followed by a quick trip to either France, Spain, or Italy Whichever country this is, they're surprisingly uptight about body mods! Practical advice for your next urologist visit Here's where to send your submissions for our upcoming live show in Atlanta: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1-RO3RXmN98fYnkeNBrfI6tqXcV7MOnhXC0q7E7Lbz7k/viewform Fullcast theme song arranged and performed by Christian As...
Jan 15, 2025•50 min
To ring in both the new year and the semifinal round of the college football playoff, let's examine the carceral state through the lens of McDonaldland Technically this episode is supposed to be previewing the Orange and Cotton Bowls. Let's see how that goes List of churches where you can probably smoke indoors Announcing our next book Here's where to send your submissions for our upcoming live show in Atlanta: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1-RO3RXmN98fYnkeNBrfI6tqXcV7MOnhXC0q7E7Lbz7k/viewform...
Jan 08, 2025•1 hr 8 min
Arizona State in the quarterfinals lmao Unfrozen cavemen love this Rose Bowl Yes, we recorded this during BULLDONGS Kirby Smart discovers Catholicism Lane Kiffin's LumpsTax Theme by Russell Powell Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/ Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsletter and other work: https://www.jasonkirk.fyi/ Find Holly and Spencer writi...
Dec 30, 2024•54 min
Other committees that failed to pick Bama Worst Tampa-Australian accent ever Mack Brown was at the Handjob Hill game Join us in the Handjob Hill comments section: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rdp_S_jcb3k&t=2024s THE WOLFMAN VS THE WRANGLER Theme by Christian Ashlock Listen to Ryan's other, less harrowing show, We're Not All Like This, and check out his new narrative podcast with Steven Godfrey, Who Killed College Football? https://www.wkcfb.com/ Check out Jason's free CFB Watch Grid newsl...
Dec 29, 2024•48 min
It's the unavoidable return of 40 For 40, in which we preview each college football postseason game in as much detail as they each deserve Subjected to scrutiny today: the Fenway, Pinstripe, New Mexico, Pop-Tarts, Arizona, Military, Alamo, Independence, and Music City Bowls But first: Drop bears update Test-driving our Steve Belichick voices Those are pretty good, but Spencer's E.T is not something we know how to prepare you for Unexpected Miami real estate interlude Who got the biggest sponsor ...
Dec 26, 2024•1 hr 24 min
