John will not relay messages from Merlin to John's wife, and Merlin feels like he's finally getting over whatever passes for summer. Marco hates it when his phone hits his junk, and both of your hosts consider how an eagle, a monkey, and a bucket of water can do heroic work together. Also, Merlin can't remember several things, but he claims to have a method for back-solving the stack. In vitally important Follow-Up, Merlin has found the original recipe for "Bachelor Pasta," which, naturally, lea...
Oct 15, 2021•2 hr 41 min•Ep. 167
Follow-up brings a couple corrections and a quick dive into the technology that was going to change how cities are designed. John thinks it's a miracle that the New York subway was ever built, and Merlin thinks a lot of politics is mostly about telling people they were right. As a main topic, John encourages Merlin to share some happy memories of his family's monstrous cat, and Merlin cries a little. This leads to a discussion of the journey of new pet acquisition.
Sep 30, 2021•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 166
John wonders about up-talk greetings, and Merlin confesses to some recent situational imbibing. Follow-up addresses the "Too-Rye-Ay" question, the enumeration of pasta shapes, and how many kinds of beetles there actually are. Tangents include celebrity biographies, Adam and the Ants video casting, Alta Vista search operators, and the actresses that Merlin collects. The main topic concerns Merlin's recent turn as Mr. Mom.
Sep 17, 2021•2 hr 34 min•Ep. 165
There's follow-up on Merlin's Vacation Results, and your hosts wonder which Doctor they'd each be. The big topic of college continues with thoughts on the thistle of standardized testing.
Sep 03, 2021•2 hr 38 min•Ep. 164
Merlin shares his Vacation Results.
Aug 20, 2021•2 hr 24 min•Ep. 163
Remembering various animal actors, enumerating genres that need a name, considering the philosophies behind "bag in a bag," and contrasting college with the ordinary crucibles of post-adolescent life.
Aug 07, 2021•2 hr 39 min•Ep. 162
Exploring Italian food, celebrating markup languages, and (finally) beginning to tackle the topic of **college**. (_Recorded on Tuesday, July 13, 2021_)
Jul 24, 2021•2 hr 52 min•Ep. 161
Merlin just woke up, John is full of beans, and things get a little silly. Meet Lidlicker.
Jul 10, 2021•2 hr 47 min•Ep. 160
Cameras! Just *so* much about cameras. But, also: amusing primates, Taylor Swift, ““content creation,”” crummy band managers, widespread misunderstanding of Lucille Bluth, the genius and tragedy of Howard Ashman, `RFC1178`, plus John shares his nostalgia for one indefatigable computer naming scheme.
Jun 25, 2021•1 hr 20 min•Ep. 159
This week kicks off with Merlin offering a heartfelt *thank you* to John for helping him know where he is. John shouldn't need to wiggle, and Merlin can't imagine ever asking for the return of "contact." Your hosts agree accessibility is good for everybody. John has updates on drama in the NES Tetris Scene, and Merlin remembers bringing a pencil to the arcade so he could cheat. John repurposes an excellent graphic by Neven to ask how buttony a button needs to be to look like it's a button. This ...
Jun 11, 2021•2 hr 17 min•Ep. 158
Things kick off with some call confusion, a boombox cameo, and a roundtable on the problematic nature of John Hughes's movies. *Automobile?* This leads to some nostalgia for the 1979 film, _Breaking Away_. Your hosts debate which one of them is which character in the movie, but both agree it’s still a stone cold classic. Next up, your hosts talk about a resurgence of interest in PlayStation games at Merlin’s house. John has a lot of thoughts, but his memory is getting really bad. Finally, John w...
May 28, 2021•2 hr 32 min•Ep. 157
Things kick off with the usual disagreements about who’s driving and who’s in the trunk, but then things briefly settle into an interrogation of the purpose behind begging for podcast ratings and reviews. Does it actually, _really_ help new people to discover the show? John tries to remember a song, and Merlin fondly recalls _un cheval maladroit_. Next, John has some thoughts on grass and how it grows. Merlin wonders if it might be another “Trust Your Mechanic”-type situation. Both of your hosts...
May 13, 2021•2 hr 44 min•Ep. 156
Our members’ special episode is coming soon, with a special guest. Become a Relay FM member to get access to this and all our past special episodes. In the meantime… Merlin needs a 4K monitor, and Apple won’t end his suffering by making one. John got his first vaccine shot, so he’s not sweating it. Merlin’s grandmother liked to make lists and talk on the phone with retail staff. Do you have the exact product she needs? No sense in driving all that way if you don’t. Perhaps there is some post-COV...
May 01, 2021•2 hr 30 min•Ep. 155
Things kick off with the usual disagreements about the doc and its proper usage. Merlin thought he was going to be driving, but John curtly redirects him into the trunk. Follow-up brings a handful of fun D&D-related content, including the work of John's talented Cousin Frankie. Outrage-based documentaries are considered. The main topic this week is **vaccines and vaccinations**, as your hosts share their frustrating and mostly fruitless journeys toward that elusive date with the needle. Hope you...
Apr 16, 2021•1 hr 13 min•Ep. 154
Your hosts skip the pre-flight, then end up talking a little about preparing for a performance. Novelty sports experiments are considered. Following some corrections, self-analysis, and technological digression, Merlin's computer poops the bed. Covid considerations continue to interfere with life, and sometimes you have to fight your family's optimism a little. Merlin tries to use an analogy from a TV show, and John introduces the class to "The Plumber Problem." John has recently discovered a be...
Apr 03, 2021•1 hr 26 min•Ep. 153
John has questions about Merlin's use of the doc, and Merlin is confused about the challenge this week. Merlin never got his nap, but John has thoughts in general about things being played _at_ him. Which leads to an exploration of how your hosts differ in the role various sorts of audio play in their lives. Should meditation be "relaxing?" Why do people react so differently to ambient and environmental sounds? What can you do when spouses differ on nighttime noise options? And why in the _hell_...
Mar 19, 2021•2 hr 31 min•Ep. 152
Things kick off with some questions about Merlin's naps, then proceed to John's Follow-Up on accents, dialect, and pronunciation. John shares a historical artifact of 80s teen retail life, and this leads to nostalgic reminiscing about the classic arcade games of youth. John has a toe update (*sorry*), and Merlin wants to learn about an anomalous genital condition—but only if he can be assured it will involve _no images_. There's some Follow-In via John's more popular program regarding privacy, t...
Mar 05, 2021•2 hr 42 min•Ep. 151
Merlin meets a new neighbor, and John still wonders whether he lives in the woods. This leads to a deep dive on clothes that don't fit. John has doubts about Merlin's reported height. In follow-up, John corrects the record on the provenance of his family's Christmas tree stand. In what turns out to be an ongoing stretch of sematic satiation, this leads to an exploration of Stephen King. Are any of the adaptations as good as his books? And what happened when a canine-having Mainer wanted some of ...
Feb 18, 2021•1 hr 17 min•Ep. 150
"Friend" of the Show, Elliott Kalan, was on TV's *Jeopardy*. No spoilers, but his little buzzer hand was held high. John is *not* doing intermittent fasting, but his meal schedule is all messed up. Also possibly his life schedule. Merlin likes a Snickers bar (or Kit-Kat) when he's on the road, but he doesn't like being fat and poopy. A short episode of *Back to Work* may have accidentally found its way into the show. (You’re welcome.) Be careful who you let run the railroad.
Feb 06, 2021•2 hr 30 min•Ep. 149
John gets quizzed on abbreviations as Merlin revisits his early career working for The Man. California has a lot of things you're not allowed to buy. Then, there's some haircut updates plus some quick advice on knowing when to take a break. Merlin thinks just ""wearing a mask"" doesn't make you a good boy, and John thinks he's pretty good about picking up Daisy's poo from the landing strip or whatever it's called. As a mini-topic, John brings a fascinating mystery involving cars, hairs, and an u...
Jan 23, 2021•2 hr 48 min•Ep. 148
Things kick off with a cameo and Merlin's abortive attempt to make a connection. Next, John reeds Merlin the riot act on his unintentional use of red receipts. Merlin pleads _nolo contendere_ but, as you can imagine, this does not dissuade John from explaining how he broke some cockamamie social contract. The complexities and risks of asynchronous communication are explored. Merlin makes a case for broader use of *procedure words*. He also wants to learn how to do those cool hand signals. In Fol...
Jan 08, 2021•2 hr 31 min•Ep. 147
Things kick off with (_surprise, surprise_) some complaints about Skype, alongside ruminations on what might eventually replace it as the podcaster's app of choice. Also, please don't asterisk your first-person swears. It's unseemly. In some important John-centric Follow-Up, the listener is brought up to speed on the status of his eyeglasses and, regrettably, his deeply problematic toe. John also has a terrible song from a video game to share with the class. As a main topic, John has questions a...
Dec 24, 2020•2 hr 33 min•Ep. 146
Things kick off with John's dissection of Merlin's bespoke automated filler text. This leads to a _fascinating_ discussion of Lorem Ipsum, type specimens, and lexical anomalies. Which, of course, leads to a look at _Tenet_ (available in cinemas everywhere now). John has some sports analogies, and Merlin found himself rewinding a lot (in the cinema, of course). Merlin likes specificity, and John sees protons and anti-protons across Nolan's oeuvre. In further media dissection, your hosts talk abou...
Dec 11, 2020•1 hr 28 min•Ep. 145
Things kick off with some new hardware, an examination of hair hats, and a look back at a self-similar fast food clown. John has questions about Merlin's projects. In the extended members-only episode, John and Merlin talk about making art. Go to to become a member today. (_Recorded on Tuesday, November 17, 2020_)
Nov 26, 2020•2 hr 38 min•Ep. 144
✅🇺🇸 (_Recorded on Saturday, November 7, 2020_)
Nov 12, 2020•2 hr 35 min•Ep. 143
Things kick off with a discussion of election plans. What a time. In an addendum to a previous topic, John talks about what it was like to actually attend the infamous Action Park as a kid. This leads to a discussion of the roller coasters and thrill rides that Merlin adores and young John very much did not. In the extended members-only episode, John and Merlin listen to music that was personally recommended to them by you, the listeners. Go to to become a member today. (_Recorded on Thursday, O...
Oct 29, 2020•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 142
Things kick off with a post-mortem on the recent song challenge as well as an extension of that challenge that requires input from you, the listener. Hit us up at [@RecDiffs](https://twitter.com/recdiffs) with `#listen`. John goes a little meta to interrogate how Merlin's brain functions and wonders where a catch phrase *actually* started. Maybe you know? **You** do that. Considering phrases we picked up from relatives and/or TV. John has questions about Merlin's experimental garage panopticon. ...
Oct 15, 2020•1 hr 23 min•Ep. 141
In follow-up, John has extensive clarifications regarding the importance of saucing the pasta in accordance with his instructions. So, of course, he also has some more instructions. Ultimately, John just wants to help you, the listener. Moving on to kids and eating, your hosts contrast their views on how to manage a constantly moving target. Merlin doesn't want to contribute to an eating disorder, and John has grave concerns about whether his son could survive when confronted with an unopened co...
Oct 01, 2020•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 140
John quickly puts the kibosh on Merlin's idea for a special theme episode. John has Follow-Up on his self-imposed egg homework and invites some friends for a socially-distanced meal. Merlin's kid attends a socially-distance birthday party. What a fun time to be alive, huh? John's usual method of remembering a song fails him, and Merlin bemoans the weird chronological gaps in what makes it onto YouTube. Fancy restorations of music videos are addressed. John can never remember what he's said in a ...
Sep 17, 2020•2 hr 37 min•Ep. 139
John has Follow-Up on the name of an Australian rock, and Merlin learned New Zealand's true name from an old Split Enz song. Doesn't seem all that difficult to call things by the old name, but what do we know? Merlin did not watch any educational YouTube videos, but John is just asking the question. A glimpse into Merlin's perilous journey into John's pasta sauce recipe is teased. John job-shames Merlin for some reason. Then, Merlin digs up a _very_ old email exchange with John that, in retrospe...
Sep 03, 2020•1 hr 28 min•Ep. 138
