In this episode, I conclude a mini-series asking the questions, How does one measure progress in recovery? How does one tell if they are growing in sobriety work? My take is that there are a few specific measurement rubrics, but the truly good indications that actual growth is happening become more and more elusive as the growth goes more and more internal. Once again, sobriety, like its counter part spiritual growth, is not a behavior change, nor a short-term intervention. It is a whole person ...
Jul 06, 2022•54 min•Ep. 16
We continue exploring this question of how to define sobriety, and progress in recovery. In particularly, we address concerns of partners watching their loved one in recovery and wondering how to tell if any progress is being made. Ian and his wife are currently working to redefine sobriety from pornography abuse, incopororating a harm reduciton approach. Dan is completing his CSAT credential and helping others to look for more than just behavior change as a sign of growth. From a clinical and s...
Jun 25, 2022•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 13
Here's a scenario. One partner is in active addiction. They he or she gets into recovery. But that person has a partner who's been hurt, deceived, betrayed, and really confused, and now that partner is asking...how do I know my partner is making ANY progress in sobriety at all? For that matter, the person in recovery may be asking of themselves, “How do I know I’m getting any better?” Rhys and Ian reflect on shared experiences of acting out, recovery, laboring for greater healing, and working to...
Jun 18, 2022•46 min•Ep. 12
The counseling field has long recognized group counseling as consistently being one of the most effective treatment modalities, and contexts for healing and growth. We counselors often talk about the idea that our deepest wounds come from relationships, and are best healed…in other relationships. We believe this, but recognize that many people are uncertain about group. We could say skeptical, resistant, or at least very concerned about what would happen to them if they joined a group. Some peop...
Jun 14, 2022•1 hr 7 min•Ep. 11
When sexualizing others is a problem, what do you do? In Orthodox Christian thought and practice, we recognize the Image of God in everyone. This becomes the key to an inner transformative process that can heal our desire for sexual gratification at any cost. When we can see each person as an Icon of Christ, and venerate them, strive to see the fullness of who they are and who they can be, glorified in Christ, then our own inner orientation begins to change. We begin to be healed, and we begin t...
Apr 27, 2022•32 min•Ep. 10
In the course of recovery from patterns of compulsive sexual behavior, many people recognize a need to take the work beyond merely avoiding erotic imagery, but also work to master erotic thoughts. We experience urges, at times very intrusive urges to sexualize other humans, and we have a desire to stop doing this. It’s a monumental task! How do we do it? Attack! Avoid! Ignore the urges! That will make them go away….right? WRONG! In this, most personal interview yet, Rhys interviews Drew Boa, fel...
Apr 27, 2022•52 min•Ep. 9
What is the human person, and how shall we best understand him or her? Why do we react to others the way we do? Why do we fall into the patterns we do? Most importantly, how can gaining a greater understanding of our interior worlds help is to grow in health, in sobriety, in presence and connectedness, and grow closer to Christ? Rhys Pasimio and counselor colleague, Orthodox friend, and fellow podcaster Christian Gonzales take a surface level look at the Enneagram and the Internal Family Systems...
Apr 01, 2022•1 hr 16 min•Ep. 8
How are you struggling today? Rhys and Ian muse over the struggles inherent to life, to work, to recovery, to marriage and family, to spirituality. We talk about the weight of life, and the importance of margins. Being present with our families and important people is vitally important, but the whole world seems bent on keeping us away from presence. What do we do about the ongoing struggle before us? Do we try to escape or alleviate it? Maybe. And there are healthy and connective ways of doing ...
Mar 21, 2022•48 min•Ep. 7
Meet Ian Nelson, recovery peer, spiritual explorer, questioner, ponderer, and one able to learn from the least of these. Rhys and Ian reflect on their experiences growing up in the church, developing careers in the mental and behavioral health field, and working through their own recovery processes to explore the concept of Radical Acceptance, and why we should practice it in recovery and in the spiritual life. We talk about learning as an ongoing process, and about arriving as…something that ne...
Mar 17, 2022•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 6
What does a spiritual recovery process look like for someone who is non-religious? Why should the recovery journey have a spiritual base in the first place? What are some practical ways that a person can begin to implement a spiritual practice if they have never done it before? Rhys talks recovery and spirituality with Taralynn Rayburn, an addictions counselor, and the founder of Sisu Healing Partners an agency that provides coaching, counseling, transportation services and intervention for indi...
Mar 07, 2022•45 min•Ep. 5
Once upon a time, Rhys hosted a podcast called SMART Counsel ("Perspectives and resources on Spirituality, Mental health, Addictions, Relationships, and Trauma.") Today's episode is a nugget from the archives of SMART Counsel, featuring one of Rhys' favorite colleagues, Ben Poling. Ben is Licensed Professional Counselor in Oregon, as well as a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist. In this episode, he presents a tool he often uses with his clients called The Four Questions. This is yet another usefu...
Feb 28, 2022•44 min•Ep. 4
What is this neurofeedback and how does it support sobriety? How does it support presence? What is the value of technologically assisted self-reflection in achieving and maintaining an inner calm? Joshua Moore is a renowned neurofeedback practitioner, counselor, and teacher in Vancouver, WA. He has worked extensively to be able to provide the highest quality neurofeedback services at the lowest possible price. Today, he joins me to give an introduction to neurofeedback. We talk in detail about t...
Jan 04, 2022•42 min
The “Outer Circle” comes from a common recovery exercise called the “Three Circles.” In today’s episode, I explain what the exercise is, what each circle entails, and how to use this particular tool. I talk about how to define relapse, the downward spiral, and how to develop a concept for sobriety that is made up of the daily practices that support sobriety, presence, balance, connection, insight, healing, and resilience. This one is hands-on and practical. Feel free to get out pencil and paper(...
Dec 01, 2021•40 min•Ep. 2
What is inner stillness, and what does it have to do with recovery? Why do we need stillness to master the passions? How do we practice stillness? What is the usefulness of inner stillness when the outer world has so many problems and demands so much attention? In I am joined by Fr. Michael Gillis, who is an Orthodox priest at Holy Nativity Orthodox Church in Langley, British Columbia. Fr. Michael shares about inner stillness, “hesychasm”, spiritual growth, and social justice as understood in th...
Nov 16, 2021•52 min•Ep. 1
