In this episode, we’re diving into the how anxious and avoidant attachment styles can influence sexual relationships. Understanding these differences can be crucial for navigating intimacy in your relationship, whether you identify with one of these attachment styles or are in a relationship with someone who does. We’ll cover five key differences in how anxious and avoidant attachment styles experience and approach sex. Emphasis on Emotional vs Physical Intimacy Anxiously attached individuals ma...
Sep 10, 2024•22 min•Season 1Ep. 156
In today's episode, we're diving into fearful avoidant (AKA disorganised) attachment and how it differs from anxious attachment. We’ll explore how both types are driven by a fear of abandonment and intense emotions, yet differ in their approaches to intimacy, conflict resolution, and communication. Whether you identify with one of these attachment styles or are in a relationship with someone who does, this episode will give you valuable insights into the dynamics at play and how to nav...
Sep 03, 2024•22 min•Season 1Ep. 155
In today's episode, we’re exploring the common patterns and beliefs that lead people into situationships — those ambiguous, frustrating "almost-relationships" that never quite become something more. If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in a situationship and wondered why it keeps happening, this episode is for you. We'll dive into four key reasons why you might be attracting these kinds of connections and how to start breaking free from the cycle. Specifically, we'll cove...
Aug 27, 2024•21 min•Season 1Ep. 154
This week, we're talking all about how avoidant attached people can experience conflict in a healthier, more productive way. I'll be sharing three tips that will allow you to feel more connected, grounded and in control in the way you approach conflict in your relationship. Highlighted Links FREE TRAINING: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here September 2025 London Event Waitlist Additional Reso...
Aug 20, 2024•16 min•Season 1Ep. 153
In today's episode, I'm sharing three tips for anxiously attached people to improve the way they approach and experience conflict. We cover things like slowing down and saying less, keeping things to one issue, and knowing when to leave the conversation and let things go. Be sure to tune in next week for Part 2 where we cover tips for avoidantly attached people in conflict! Highlighted Links FREE TRAINING: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Down...
Aug 13, 2024•20 min•Season 1Ep. 152
In today's episode, I'm sharing with you some wisdom from three of my favourite writers and teachers on life, love and relationships. These quotes, from authors James Clear, Elizabeth Gilbert, and Brene Brown, have been hugely formative for me in my own journey and I hope you love them as much as I do. Highlighted Links FREE TRAINING: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here September 2025 London E...
Aug 09, 2024•14 min•Season 1Ep. 151
In today's episode, we're talking about boundaries. Boundary setting is one of those areas that we hear about so much in the personal development world, and yet bridging the gap between theory and practice remains a challenge for most of the folks that I work with (particularly those with an anxious attachment style). We'll cover: why boundary setting is so hard for people with insecure attachment patterns how anxious and avoidant attachment styles differ in boundary setting the t...
Aug 01, 2024•16 min•Season 1Ep. 150
In today's episode, I'm sharing three life lessons that I wish I'd learned sooner. These are around the theme of self-awareness, personal responsibility and consciously creating the life that we want for ourselves. Last chance to join The Secure Self Challenge ! Highlighted Links FREE TRAINING: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here September 2025 London Event Waitlist Additional Resources J...
Jul 23, 2024•15 min•Season 1Ep. 149
In today's episode, we're tackling the pervasive issue of resentment in relationships. We explore why resentment occurs, its impact on relationships, and how to address and resolve these feelings. We cover: what resentment signals to us about ourselves why certain people are more prone to resentment the link between resentment and poor boundaries, suppression of needs and avoiding conflict how we can shift out of victimhood and take responsibility for our part in a dynamic Highlighted ...
Jul 17, 2024•15 min•Season 1Ep. 148
In today's episode, we're unpacking five traits that everybody should be looking for in a prospective partner. It's so easy when dating to become swept up in a connection and inadvertently overlook some of the fundamental attributes we should all be seeking in a relationship. The five traits we discuss in this episode are: emotional self-awareness integrity and trustworthiness consistency, reliability and dependability humour and playfulness kindness Highlighted Links FREE TRAININ...
Jul 11, 2024•17 min•Season 1Ep. 147
Have you ever found yourself seeking out relationship advice online only to be bombarded with pages of seemingly conflicting and contradictory opinions? If so, you're not alone - and today's episode is for you. I'm going to be sharing 5 examples of contradictory relationship advice that you may have encountered and struggled to make sense of, so that you can understand the nuances and practise discernment in finding the right way forward for you. We cover: going after a life you l...
Jul 04, 2024•23 min•Season 1Ep. 146
In today's episode, I'm unpacking three common pain points that virtually all anxious-avoidant couples will encounter at some point in their relationship. We'll talk about why these particular fights are so common, and what they're really about - so you can approach them next time with more empathy and understanding, and avoid the disconnection and hurt that comes with the typical anxious-avoidant trap. Secure Together Course (save 50% with code HEYBABY): secure-together.com ...
Jun 28, 2024•26 min•Season 1Ep. 145
In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on why you might struggle to let go of someone after a break-up - especially in circumstances where you logically know that they were "bad" for you. This is such a common experience, particularly for those with anxious attachment - feeling pulled in two different directions between what you know is best vs what your body and attachment system is urging you to do. We cover: the importance of managing expectations after a break-up w...
Jun 18, 2024•16 min•Season 1Ep. 144
In today's episode, we're exploring the tension between the conflicting needs for time together and time apart that can so often become a source of friction in anxious-avoidant dynamics. Specifically, I'm sharing a simple but very effective tip that will both reduce separation anxiety for the anxious partner, and increase the avoidant partner's comfort with time spent together, creating a win-win for both partners and reducing the likelihood of repeated ruptures. Highlighted ...
Jun 05, 2024•15 min•Season 1Ep. 143
In today's episode, we're talking all about receiving. For many of us, being the giver in our relationships is our comfort zone - which can lead to imbalances, unmet needs, and resentment. But while we may bemoan the lack of reciprocity in our relationships, there is a vulnerability to receiving that many of us are uncomfortable with. We cover: the tendency to consistently end up in imbalanced relationships difficulty directing asking for what you want or need feeling guilty or burdens...
May 29, 2024•18 min•Season 1Ep. 142
In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on the listener question of "Is it wrong to hope my partner will change?" Wanting to change a partner is something most of us will relate to in one form or another, but it's essential that we understand where this urge is coming from and what it's trying to tell us about ourselves, our partner, and the relationship. Some of the things we cover: wanting to change little things vs big things how anxious and avoidant attach...
May 23, 2024•22 min•Season 1Ep. 141
Are you someone who tends to go from 0 to 100 at the start of a new relationship? In today's episode, we're exploring how to not lose yourself when you start dating someone new (although the advice also applies to people already in an established relationship who feel they've lost touch with themselves). This dynamic is particularly common among those with an anxious attachment style, who tend to become overly fixated on a connection at the expense of other areas of life. Tune in ...
May 14, 2024•16 min•Season 1Ep. 140
In today's episode, I'm sharing some reflections from my recent experience of pregnancy and birth on self-trust, control and surrender. These are themes that most folks with insecure attachment patterns struggle with, and learning to trust in your capacity to navigate life's ups and downs with confidence and agency is a huge step on the path to building secure attachment. For more episodes on building trust, check out: Ep 130: The Pillars of a Healthy Relationship with Self Ep 124...
May 08, 2024•21 min•Season 1Ep. 139
In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on how to navigate a partner pulling away. If you're someone with anxious attachment patterns, a partner's withdrawal or disengagement can feel extremely distressing - and yet, many of our go-to strategies for managing that distress can ironically have the effect of pushing someone further away. We'll cover: what to do when someone pulls away in an early dating context why we feel drawn to pursuing connections with people who...
Apr 11, 2024•24 min•Season 1Ep. 138
In today's episode, we're talking all about self-soothing and anxious attachment. For most anxiously attached folks, self-soothing and self-regulation can be a real struggle. This typically shows up as an over-reliance on others (often a partner) to be our sole source of safety and reassurance when we experience emotional distress, and an accompanying sense of helplessness and panic if and when they are not available to perform that role. We'll cover: why anxiously attached people...
Apr 02, 2024•21 min•Season 1Ep. 137
This episode is part two of a two-part series on 20 Traits of the Anxious Attachment Style. I'm going to be running through some of the less obvious expressions of the anxious attachment style, as well as the underlying drivers of these patterns. ⭐️ JOIN THE WAITLIST FOR HEALING ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT ⭐️ Highlighted Links FREE TRAINING: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here September 2025 London Event Wa...
Mar 23, 2024•24 min•Season 1Ep. 136
Today's episode is part one of a two-part series on 20 Traits of the Anxious Attachment Style. I'm going to be running through some of the less obvious expressions of the anxious attachment style, as well as the underlying drivers of these patterns. ⭐️ JOIN THE WAITLIST FOR HEALING ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT ⭐️ Highlighted Links FREE TRAINING: How to Heal Anxious Attachment and (Finally) Feel Secure in Life & Love Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here September 2025 London ...
Mar 20, 2024•23 min•Season 1Ep. 135
In today's episode, I'm delighted to be joined by James "Fish" Gill to talk all things conflict and conscious communication. Fish is a coach, teacher and facilitator whose work offers a compassionate paradigm for relating to and transforming moments of conflict in all of our relationships. We cover: why we so easily end up in conflict and opposition with people we love how we unconsciously escalate conflict using compassion and curiosity to understand someone else's pers...
Mar 11, 2024•1 hr 10 min•Season 1Ep. 134
In this week's episode, I'm joined by my partner Joel and we're exploring some common misconceptions about avoidant attachment. Avoidant attachment is frequently misunderstood and misrepresented in a lot of online content, and it's so important to me to dispel some of those portrayals and offer something more humanising and more honest about what's going on for avoidant folks. We cover misconceptions around: avoidant people not wanting to be in relationships avoidant peo...
Mar 02, 2024•34 min•Season 1Ep. 133
In today's episode, I'm delighted to be joined by Julie Menanno. Julie is a couples therapist, best known for her hugely popular instagram account @thesecurerelationship where she offers nuanced and insightful takes on attachment dynamics and how couples can overcome negative cycles to build secure relationships. She has just released her first book, Secure Love, which offers couples a roadmap for building thriving relationships that last. Our conversation covers a lot of ground, inclu...
Feb 21, 2024•56 min•Season 1Ep. 132
In today's episode, we're talking all about getting back together with an ex. Facing the prospect of rekindling after a relationship has ended can bring up so many conflicting feelings - longing, optimism and hope, together with fear, worry, self-doubt and anxiety. In helping you navigate the messiness of these situations, I'll be sharing some good reasons and some not-so-good reasons why you might consider getting back together with an ex, and how you can best approach that decis...
Feb 14, 2024•26 min•Season 1Ep. 131
✨ Last chance to join the 28-day Secure Self Challenge ✨ If you've ever come across standard "self-love" advice and it hasn't really landed for you, you're not alone. As great as it would be if we could all click our heels and achieve self-love, the simple reality is that for most of us, that's a far cry from where we're at - and if anything, the pressure to love ourselves can leave us feeling even more broken and hopeless. In today's episode, I'm sha...
Feb 07, 2024•28 min•Season 1Ep. 130
In today's episode, I'm joined by Dr. Morgan Anderson and we're talking all about building self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence in the context of dating. Dr. Morgan is a licensed clinical psychologist, attachment theory expert, relationship coach, and author of the relationship self-help book, Love Magnet . She is also the host of the Let's Get Vulnerable podcast. In our conversation, we cover: how insecure attachment styles fuel unhealthy dating patterns how low self-...
Jan 31, 2024•53 min•Season 1Ep. 129
In today's episode, we're talking all about why avoidant partners tend to struggle with defensiveness. While defensiveness is far from being the exclusive domain of avoidant attachment, many people will attest to the fact that avoidant folks are often quick to become defensive in response to relational tension or ruptures - and that this can form a key piece in the negative cycle of many anxious-avoidant relationships. We'll cover: why defensiveness is a natural response to feelin...
Jan 23, 2024•27 min•Season 1Ep. 128
In today's episode, we're talking all about comparison. Comparison is one of those things that we're all susceptible to at some point or another: we compare ourselves based on appearance, personality, success, relationships. It can sometimes seem like there's a neverending list of reasons to feel dissatisfied or inadequate when we look at our lives relative to someone else's. And yet, while comparison is arguably a universal human experience, it's undeniable that so...
Jan 16, 2024•18 min•Season 1Ep. 127
