Not If I Reboot You First! - podcast cover

Not If I Reboot You First!

Corner Podcast Networknotifirebootyoufirst.podbean.com
Hollywood keeps on rebooting everything over and over again, and always seems to get it wrong. So Tanner and Lindsay have decided to get one step ahead of them and reboot everything themselves! Through reboots, remakes, sequels, spin-offs, adaptations, and other weird scenarios, these two are gonna change it all for better or worse - which, sometimes, is still better.

Episodes

91: Tanner Could've Been Recruited into a Cult

This season, the accessory any teen queen bee needs is this week's episode where we talk about the movie GBF. It makes Tanner and Lindsay ask important questions like: where do all these queen bees come from? What kind of gravity should be given to one coming out? And where did all of our teen soaps go? This generation needs them! Our friendship promo this week is @SRClash_Pod! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew and her work can be found at ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake, who's ...

Jun 29, 202052 minEp. 91

90: Lindsay's Post-War Bombshells

This week is a little more serious than usual. Lindsay is rebooting DC Bombshells, but we don't want to romanticize WWII as a rompin' fun time even with superheroines and nazi-punching. We're going postwar, dealing with what's become of the world and reckoning with the injustices that were committed. Not that there's no levity whatsoever - Jonh Constantine is a bunny, Raven is a raisin, and the invisible plane arrives by the end! Our friendship promo this week is @CtrlPod! Our cover art is by Al...

Jun 21, 202049 minEp. 90

89: Tanner Validates Bi Feelings

The subject this week is just Whatever. Literally! The YA novel by SJ Goslee alleges to be about a high school slacker realizing he's bi, but something seemed off about it when Tanner read it. So they're gonna rewrite it and rehash it by giving the protagonist the chance to call out toxic people and only engage in sober sloppy makeouts! Alongside Lindsay they'll also discuss queerbaiting, being nice as a threat, and the concept of Sterek vs. Destiel. Canadian Charities: https://twitter.com/emmab...

Jun 15, 202043 minEp. 89

88: Lindsay Wants Chariot Battles!

This week we're going back to the bronze age - not the classical age, the bronze age, Lindsay was very specific. It's time for Song of Achilles, which took the text of the Illiad and turned it into explicitly gay eye contact between Achilles and Patroclus. She and Tanner will bring it to the big screen with sexy puppets, an ancient Greek baby-trading system, and seven different Timothy Chalomets. This week we are spotlighting the following charities: Justice for Tony McDade: https://ca.gofundme....

Jun 08, 202051 minEp. 88

87: Tanner Thinks the Shakycam was Fine

This month's People's Choice is Catching Fire. Just that one though, Tanner thinks the other two were pretty good and thinks only this one needs another go to tell a more interesting story. This week, and every week, we are asking you to support your local bail funds and BIPOC-owned businesses that have been affected by the current protests. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake, who's contact info is available upon reque...

Jun 01, 202043 minEp. 87

86: JD Teaches Team Miraculous How to Apologize

This week we have another guest! JD is here to tell us about the many failings of Miraculous, including but not limited to bad character development, airing out of order, and the de-canonization of linear time! Tanner and Lindsay aren't always sure what to make of it but they're here to help him write his fix-fic in order to standardize continuity, see the love square resolved happily, and supporting the official release. Our friendship promo this week is @OhNoLitClassPod! Our cover art is by Al...

May 24, 20201 hr 8 minEp. 87

85: Sam's Favourite Theatre Snacks

This week we are dealing directly COVID-19 stuff, so if you're trying to avoid these topics feel free to skip this episode. The pandemic is affecting every industry, movie theatres included. Sam knows we need to find a way to save them and stop studios from controlling both production and distribution, so he's teaming up with Tanner and Lindsay to brainstorm ways to keep them clean, keep them un-crowded, and possibly create a swinger's theatre. Meanwhile, Tanner lists the Digimon movies, Sam for...

May 17, 202054 minEp. 85

84: Tanner Doesn't Know How Decepticons Tell Time

This week, Starscream is gunning for Decepticon leadership once again as Tanner tries to make a solo film for him. He's gonna get beat up, a lot, because he's an idiot stuck in a robot Mean Girls for the first act. To spice things up, Tanner and Lindsay are going to throw in a muttonchops robot, some Stranger Things-type kids, and the tragic tale of Waspinator. Our friendship promo this week is @beendonepod! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme...

May 10, 202038 minEp. 84

83: Lindsay Finds All the Curses on Gotham

This week Lindsay swan dives into some of the weirder, more esoteric parts of the DC universe with a Gotham Academy series for the Arrowverse. It's all gothic romance and teenage weirdness with a diverse group of characters, secret underground passages, and Killer Croc! Tanner's serving as an Arrowverse ringer but we're post-crisis now so anything goes. Also discussed are Bruce needing to step up, Teenage Mutant Body Horror, and school architecture. Our friendship promo this week is @Garden_Plot...

May 03, 202044 minEp. 83

82: Tanner Uses Twister to Break Up a Band

This week we enter the suck zone as Tanner makes a quick little sequel to Twister. It's a great movie that everyone else is just mean to, and they think it's time for a sequel all about parents and children and huge tornadoes. Along the way they'll tell Lindsay about the behind the scenes drama of the original and Lindsay will discuss Bill Paxton's proximity to assassinations. Hey, what?! Our friendship promo this week is @LetsStealCast! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be ...

Apr 26, 202037 minEp. 82

81: Tanner Thinks Nicolas Cage is Already a Sorcerer

Following some inspiration from last week, Tanner's doing another derivative of Fantasia - a sequel to the 2010 Sorcerer's Apprentice film. They'll walk Lindsay through the plot of both the movie and the musical works that will inform the plot of the sequel, all while praising Nicolas Cage, Jay Baruchel, and Alfred Molina's acting. Also discussed are kicking dark spirits in the shins, comrade dinosaur, and all the cocaine from the 1800s. Our friendship promo this week is @TimeLgbtq! Our cover ar...

Apr 19, 202049 minEp. 81

80: Lindsay & Ryan Ruin Goofy's Commute

This week is a classic with surprise returning guest Ryan! He and Lindsay are teaming up to teach Tanner a thing or two about classical music as they compose another instalment of the Disney Classic Fantasia. Tanner is crying about the 2000 edition, Lindsay is casting a wide net to spice things up, Ryan is also crying, and Stravinsky isn't impressed. This episode includes samples from the following pieces: "2112 Overture", Rush, 1976 "In the Hall of the Mountain King", Edvard Grieg, performed in...

Apr 12, 202052 minEp. 80

79: Tanner Wrestles Cybersix

This week Tanner is working through a back injury to reboot Cybersix, an old anime-esque cartoon based on an Argentinian comic about a nonbinary artifical human fighting cloned nazis. It's great! It's almost so great them and Lindsay aren't sure what we need to change. Maybe they'll bring in the Wachowski sisters, or wrestlers? Beyond this they'll also discuss why Riverdale is like that, why clones aren't doombots, and Jame Cameron cameoing on Mad About You. This week's friendship promo is @WeAr...

Apr 05, 202045 minEp. 79

78: Lindsay Deduces Alien Biology

For this month's People's Choice, Lindsay will be levelling up with Zixx: Level One...or two or three. The Canadian show needs an upgrade in order to hone in on the space opera going on in the background, though there's still room for adventures in a video game world (which, Tanner cannot stress enough, is not actually inside a video game). The duo will team up to discuss time, space, see-through plastic nostalgia, tentacle dicks, and more! Our friendship promo this week is @SWGDPod! Our cover a...

Mar 29, 202050 minEp. 78

77: Lindsay Gives Everyone a Slime Watch

This week Lindsay is delving into a French Anime based on an Italian comic book, Martin Mystery! She's spotted hints of possible arcs that the series could take and turn into full season-long mysteries while also fleshing out the show's setting and characters. Tanner's mostly concerned with shaming people who ship Martin with Diana. The duo will also discuss obviously evil names, gross-out tv, and unfrozen caveman baristas. in lieue of a friendship promo this week, we have a brief PSA on how to ...

Mar 23, 202050 minEp. 77

76: Tanner Doesn't Know How to Plan a Heist

This week Tanner is following up one of their earlier pitches in the form of Ocean's 9, a heist film meant to take down the Hollywood elite while also rectifying the mistakes of the first film (and also those of The Hustle). The girls need another big score, so they're stealing various film props from a scummy producer - if that is their real target. Along the way Lindsay will recommend bullying nerds, Tanner will google Anne Hathaway's Height, and they'll both determine which Instagram Influenc...

Mar 12, 202059 minEp. 76

75: Lindsay Scares Children Properly

This week's episode may be triggering due to discussion of urban legends, bugs, and being trapped in alternate dimensions. This is a real podcast - it happened to a friend to a friend of mine. This week Lindsay is rebooting Freaky Stories, a Canadian animated urban legends anthology hosted by some real nasty puppets. She and Tanner will discuss the blurry line between fairy tale and urban legend, and determine how best to transform this piece of their childhood into something that takes advantag...

Mar 08, 202042 minEp. 75

74: Tanner Discusses Balto-Gate

Tanner started this episode with one concept: dog sledding. And then they just slam-dunked a bunch of sled dog stories into a blender to create a wild combination of Balto, Togo, and Snow Dogs. They'll tell Lindsay about the true heroes of the Nome serum run and make a miniseries that can also pay tribute to the First Nation roots of the sport. Along the way they'll also discuss Thompson the airplane lover, Dark Tigger, and megafauna. Our friendship promo this week is Palin' Around, as hosted by...

Mar 01, 202053 minEp. 74

73: Lindsay Revives Popular Pepper Ann Fashions

Who's that Pod? What's it's name? Pepper Ann! For this month's People's Choice episode, Lindsay is doing just a slight reboot of the late 90s/early 00s cartoon series - though it doesn't need much beyond a touched up art style, less poorly-aged computer episodes, and more queer content. Meanwhile everyone is skateboarding, pineapples are worn on skirts, and Tanner understands the concept of storytelling. Our friendship promo this week is @ARGonautsPod! Our email is [email protected]...

Feb 23, 202049 minEp. 73

72: Tanner Tosses a Coin to their Hedgehog

We gotta go fast so we can steal from the rich and give to the poor! That's right, Tanner's doing a double reboot by combining the Sonic Storybook series with the classic tale of Robin Hood and his Definitely Heterosexual Men! Which they know very little about, but Lindsay and them will make do by adding simple archery mechanics on top of Sonic's already pretty simple "goes fast" mechanics. Also discussed: Prince John's buffonery, Microsoft Sam, and oodelallies. Our friendship promo this week is...

Feb 16, 202039 minEp. 72

71: Lindsay Wants that Good Good Zero Matter

This week, Lindsay is continuing the story of Agent Peggy Carter with a third season of her gone-too-soon TV show. She's gonna tell Tanner all about government corruption and how that can definitely turn into various bespoke Super Soldier programs in the fictional world (it's because plenty were that in the real world too). Also discussed are Namor's ankle wingies, Russian interrogation techniques, and really big dogs. Our friendship promo this week is @FaithFullPods! Our cover art is by Alex ak...

Feb 09, 202041 minEp. 71

70: Serge has Distinguishing Feathered Dinosaurs

This week our special guest Serge is taking us on a voyage to Dinotopia, a fantastical franchise of human-dinosaur cohabitation that has never been adapted into a movie...until now! He'll show Lindsay and Tanner how the series can be used to make a Utopia story compelling, show how to build a home with others, and avoid a lawsuit from Lucasfilm. Along the way the trio also discusses Ghibli films, arriving late to your own party, and DOS computers. Our friendship promo this week is @CryptoNature!...

Feb 02, 202058 minEp. 70

69: Janine Talks Slow and Sexy

Here it is: episode sixty nine. Nice. And guest Janine has picked the sexiest thing she could find to reboot: The Golden Girls. She, Lindsay, and Tanner discuss modernizing the spirit of the show rather than doing a shot-for-shot remake in order to keep its heart the same. Also discussed are sex toys, dementia, and old people having no filter! Our friendship promo this week is @FuckHumans8! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. Our theme music was created...

Jan 26, 202053 minEp. 69

68: Lindsay Gives a Cat a Gun

This week we're delving into the Roaring - er, Meowing Twenties as Lindsay suggests a reboot of the webcomic Lackadaisy! She gives Tanner a rundown of the delightfully violent characters and how the comic can whip from wacky to terrifying faster than you can unzip Rebel Wilson's skin. Yeah. Tanner's gonna put Cats (2019) in here as much as they can. Our friendship promo this week is @MyFavoritePKMN! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. our theme music wa...

Jan 19, 202054 minEp. 68

67: Tanner Shall Not Raise a Flipper Against Their Foes

The last great granddaddy of gaming needs to get into Smash, but before that happens Tanner's going to make sure he can get another game. It's time to reboot Frogger! Them and Lindsay desperately try to create a pacifist platformer game despite the series' disparate lore threads and Lindsay's herpetophobia preventing her from naming reptiles. Along the way they'll also find such delights as snakes bouncing like a spring, the state reptiles, and inexplicable Australians. Our friendship promo this...

Jan 12, 202043 minEp. 67

66: Lindsay Bennet: Bulls*** Detector

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Lydia Bennet is probably the worst Bennet sister - at least until Lindsay gets her hands on her! In our first episode of the new year we're making a sequel to Pride and Prejudice following the youngest Bennet sister as she escapes a terrible marriage, gains the skills she needs to thrive in her time, and potentially finds true love in spite of the odds. We also discuss Lydia inventing mannequins, Germans not emoting, and Jane Austen fighting crime. Our...

Jan 05, 202051 minEp. 66

65: Tanner and Lindsay Work on Manda-Lore

The Stars War is upon us, so let's look back to Episode II and see what we can do to adjust it. Not a full fix, because a lot of it works on paper and just needs some better execution with some better actors and directors. So as Tanner and Lindsay run through this episode they'll also figure out how the Naboo government works, space Canada, and how to make Boba Fett interesting. Our friendship promo this week is @WaywardOCpod! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on pt...

Dec 22, 201947 minEp. 65

64: Ryan Hunts the Gun Witch

War is Hell, and sometimes video games actually acknowledge that. Our guest and brother Ryan returns to discuss an ending to Brothers in Arms, with Lindsay adding historical context and Tanner trying very hard not to get depressed about the military industrial complex. But we manage to keep our spirits while discussing Troy Baker's warsona, lootboxes, and Medieval Times Dinner Theatre. Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com . Our theme music was created by ...

Dec 15, 20191 hr 13 minEp. 64

63: Tanner Gives Zatanna a Skirt

Shows live. Shows die. And the Arrowverse will never be the same - especially not after Tanner finishes pitching their idea for a teenage Zatanna tv show! He explains to Lindsay the magicians origins and struggles before translating them into a high school setting, with all manner of Buffy flavourings including Constantine as a mentor (when he's not a bunny). They'll also discuss secular street magic, fantastic gender-flipping, and the Sailor Moon Costume Pen. This week's friendship promo is @Le...

Dec 08, 20191 hrEp. 63

62: Lindsay Marries for Toe Beans

Are you ready to hear a retelling of the most popular unknown fairy tale? Lindsay is taking East of the Sun, West of the Moon and placing it in ancient Mongolia - though she and Tanner will find that such an archetypal tale of animal husbandry doesn't change much even with the setting moving across the world. The two will also encounter sassy wikipedia entries, folk metal, and a highly-marketable pallas cat butler. This week's friendship promo is @PowerUpENAB! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptche...

Dec 01, 201941 minEp. 62