Not If I Reboot You First! - podcast cover

Not If I Reboot You First!

Corner Podcast Networknotifirebootyoufirst.podbean.com
Hollywood keeps on rebooting everything over and over again, and always seems to get it wrong. So Tanner and Lindsay have decided to get one step ahead of them and reboot everything themselves! Through reboots, remakes, sequels, spin-offs, adaptations, and other weird scenarios, these two are gonna change it all for better or worse - which, sometimes, is still better.

Episodes

121: Theo Apologizes to his Mom

Whoa! This week our guest Theo is here to tell us about his Chronicles of Narnia RPG Video Game! It's a radical update to the setting that also helps us deal with the original books' racist implications and absolutism! But don't worry, there's plenty of fun stuff Tanner and Lindsay join in on too like the director's cut of Dodgeball, getting a zweihander for Christmas, and me - Sonic the Hedgehog! Our friendship promo this week is @FaithFullPods! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her wor...

Feb 07, 20211 hr 11 minEp. 121

120: Lindsay Gives Top Gun a (Gay) Plot

This week's subject is sure to take your breath away (but don't sing along or you'll get kicked out of plane school). Lindsay's been voted to reboot Top Gun, so we're going to take this paper-thin movie and fill it up with enemies to lovers - the gayest trope. Along the way she and Tanner will talk about Volleyball Anime, what songs are more 80s, and how nothing actually happens in locker rooms. Our friendship promo this week is @DeepDrkTruthPod! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her wor...

Jan 31, 202134 minEp. 120

119: Rem vs Cloud vs Sephiroth vs 100 Shinra Henchmen

This week we've been joined by Rem, who's never passed up on a chance to fight God. They're here to reboot Final Fantasy Dissidia, which once was a fighting game but is now going full Dynasty Warriors. We're getting every cool girl with a huge sword (or gun) (or sword gun) and having them cleave through a hundred tiny baddies, much to Lindsay's confusion. Along the way we're going to remember Spoony, break all of our dolls, and Knuckles. Our friendship promo this week is @wyldrvir! Our cover art...

Jan 24, 202153 minEp. 119

118: Lindsay Treads Old Space and Doesn't Care

Star Trek has done many things. Lindsay thinks she can do them better. And she's looking at plots from Voyager, so there's a good chance she's right. Board the Tupaia and find out her broad-strokes ideas for what Trek can do and what it should be, including more alien aliens and a focus on navigators and the landing party. Tanner's along for the ride to help her discuss how many later sci-fi franchises use Trek as a reference point, what it means to be The West Wing in space, and why you should ...

Jan 17, 202147 minEp. 118

117: Tanner Takes their Digimon on a Competitive Roller Coaster

Digiport Open! It's time to travel to a digital world where you can raise battling Tamagotchis to fight each other - or take them to an amusement park. But this is specifically for a Digimon MMO video game, so don't expect to be filling a farm full of a bunch of them. We're making sure they're all in balanced classes, making the world a little weird and dreamlike, and bringing over the dub writing staff. Also discussed are Neopets shopkeepers, crying at Santa, and gaming in a Saskatchewan winter...

Jan 10, 202146 minEp. 117

116: Christina Makes W.I.T.C.H. Queer(er)

It's the no-thoughts-head-empty, end-of-the-year special for NIIRYF as Tanner and Lindsay bring Christina in to walk them through a reboot of W.I.T.C.H., the comic and cartoon that briefly aired on Disney before getting screwed behind the scenes. Together the trio will spruce up the costumes, give the team RPG classes, and give Will a Smart House best friend. Our friendship promo this week is @WeAreWatchingOP! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found at ptchew.com. Our the...

Jan 03, 20211 hr 2 minEp. 116

115: Lindsay As Tells By Ginger

Our penultimate episode of 2020 is also a People's Choice episode, and we nearly grind to a halt because Lindsay made the mistake of optioning something that really doesn't need a reboot to begin with. Still, she'll try to explain As Told By Ginger to Tanner and demonstrate why the only possibility is a college series. Maybe? How do you even write slice-of-life? Either way we get through it via a university nostlaiga/therapy trip, double-secret imposter syndrome, and Ginger's fursona. Our friend...

Dec 20, 202051 minEp. 115

114: Tanner Can Quote Love, Actually Backwards and Forwards

I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes. Tanner's rebooting their favourite Christmas movie that has aged terribly, Love, Actually! Naturally, most of the issues can be solved by making it longer and gayer, and on Lindsay's suggestion they've moved the action to the Canadian Meritimes due to *airport themes* and *Canadian music*. Also discussed are combining the charm of Emma Thompson and Colin Firth, SK Premier Wayne, and an actual Demon. Our friendship promo this week is the @PokeCasters...

Dec 13, 20201 hr 3 minEp. 114

113: Lindsay Detonates a Ditch Digging Dip**** Husband

Yeehaw! It's time for a Christmas cowboy movie! Lindsay's looking at 3 Godfathers, the inspiration for Tokyo Godfathers, Ice Age, and The Mandalorian? It's not explicitly Christmas-y but we can work some stuff into it - fit it between the slapstick, the black comedy, and a plot surprisingly unproblematic for John Wayne. Also discussed are Weekend and J Lo's, which biblical story Die Hard equates to, and how to keep control of Robert Pattinson on set. Our friendship promo this week is @KH_AFE! Ou...

Dec 06, 202049 minEp. 113

112: Tanner Monster Ranches Limp Bizkit

This week the podcast is transported to a faraway land, to a world where Monster Rule...and deconstruct many of the tropes found in monster raising video games, including it's own. So Tanner is making a video game in the style of the anime, switching battling for reconstruction and CDs for barcodes. Of course, that doesn't mean them and Lindsay can't reminisce about what musicians made which monsters, debate whether Godzilla has opinions, and declare everything that Color Pandora touches to be c...

Nov 29, 202055 minEp. 112

111: Lindsay Killed All her Enemies and Took Up Yoga

This week we're rebooting a game that Lindsay's never played, but she's familiar with the lore - after all, isn't the lore of Assassin's Creed just history? Well, yes and no, and we'll find out more as we take control of her OC Assassin Irene in order to investigate the Black Dahlia Murder and collect all manner of 1940s fashions. Lindsay's gonna tell Tanner all about the weird suspect list and conspiracies that have cropped up, and you know she's gonna find a way to tie in Jack Parsons and Alei...

Nov 22, 20201 hr 2 minEp. 111

110: Tanner Expands the Injustice Roster Because Gay

It's DC again...again! But instead of Lindsay's more optimistic outlook from last week, this week Tanner is looking at a grim video game where Superman went evil and Batman has no choice but to look cool while stopping him. It's Injustice 3, where the goal is to use time travel in order to fix everything, including Tanner's particular issues with one characters portrayal. Don't worry, they've taken a page from acclaimed event comic Amazons Attack to do so. Also in the arena are some unexpected o...

Nov 15, 202052 minEp. 110

109: Lindsay is Basic for Batman

This week, Lindsay is creating her own Batman movie. It's not grimdark, it's noir! Batman found his chill and a bunch of children, and Dick Greyson (yo he was just 18-22) is starting his journey into Nightwing. Tanner and her will romp about a Gotham with adequate funding thanks to Bruce reinvesting like all rich folks should do, and along the way they'll discuss Power Rangers twunks, Bruce Lee's silhouette, and 39th President of the United States Jimmy Carter. This week's friendship promo is @C...

Nov 08, 202051 minEp. 109

108: Tanner's a Little Bit Toys-to-Life, a Little Bit Rock'n'roll

A NIIRYF first - a double reboot! This week Tanner is taking two music-inspired video games and mashing them together into a toys-to-life JRPG! It's the real-music-powered characters of Song Summoner plus the musical card samples of Dropmix combined into a singular stylish entity! Together with Lindsay they determine the aesthetics of various genres, video games being a gateway for young people finding older music, and jailbreaking your Duel Disc. Our friendship promo this week is @RNGGcast! Our...

Nov 01, 202046 minEp. 108

107: Lindsay Declares This a Pro-Goat Podcast

Bleh bluh bleh! It's vampire time again! But this time there's a twist - found footage! Lucy and her three boyfriends, one of whom is a Texas oil baron, are making a supernatural vlog series and stumble into the story of Dracula. Lindsay will share her ideas on what Dracula tropes to lean into and which to avoid, who would take his place in pop culture if Bram never wrote about him, and why not to build your castle on a volcano. Along they way she and Tanner will also discuss real estate, Daniel...

Oct 25, 202050 minEp. 107

106: Tanner's Bad Christopher Walken Impression

It's a short and quick one this week because Tanner may've been cursed by a witch? Or maybe they're a robot? It's Stepford Wives, and Husbands, and Babies! Let's make it a tv show but only with a little bit of the camp from the 2004 movie (which was only good for 5 minutes at the end with Glenn Close). ANYWAY, them and Lindsay are diving right into why tradwives are bad, a secret Sleepy Hollow crossover, and Cardi B. Our friendship promo this week is @9thWorldJournal! Our cover art is by Alex ak...

Oct 18, 202041 minEp. 106

105: Shannon Finds her Inner Tall Man

Is this episode real? Or is it a dream? Our guest Shannon Manor is here to figure it out with us as she remakes Phantasm! She wants to retain the surreal and suspenseful atmosphere but make some parts actually scary. I mean, it's nice to have a budget that affords more than kids in cloaks and a single orb. She'll take Tanner and Lindsay on a journey of ill-fitting suits, home-made flies, and an unexpected Netflix crossover. Our friendship promo this week is @LostTreasurePod! Our cover art is by ...

Oct 11, 202056 minEp. 105

104: Alex Gives the Gargoyles Pants

October begins with our special guest, title card artist Alex! She's decided to bring Gargoyles back in 2020 with all it's time travelling, mad science, Shakespearian fanfic glory! But this time around we're focusing on the mysteries and magic instead of just being Disney's answer to the Batman cartoon. Either way, Tanner and Lindsay will join her in an episode full of genetically altered catboys, the real Delilah, and Jim Belushi. Our friendship promo this week is @KidsAndTheirDog! Our cover ar...

Oct 04, 202057 minEp. 104

103: Lindsay & Tanner Make an OC Big Bad

We found you again! We start off year three with season 4 of Once Upon a Time. This was the season that focused on Frozen (which we'll do a little bit) and Maleficent (which we do less so, but she does get a snack). We've created a new character to act as big bad as our plot goes even to even more primordial places than the original, but hopefully we can keep some character focus around as well. Also, we befriend a wolf and find an extremely magical tree. Our friendship promo this week is @Monke...

Sep 27, 202047 minEp. 103

102:Tanner and Lindsay Answer Unexpected Questions!

Another year, another Q&A! Tanner and Lindsay are gonna give you all the hot deets on their personal lives and preferences, including favourite musicians, our opinions on Gossip Girl, our personal Batman takes, and what we'd do for a Klondike bar. Also features a surprise email from a very cool and special guest! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew and her work can be found at ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake, who's contact info is available upon request. Our email is NotIfIRebootY...

Sep 20, 20201 hr 17 minEp. 102

101: Tanner’s Destination Wedding is Officiated by Doctor Doom

Between 100 and the Anniversary, we've got another People's Choice! This time it's The Weekenders, which Tanner is updating for the modern day and moving up into High School...well either that or doing a tv movie set right before the gang gets into high school. Either way, them and Lindsay will spend a lot of time appreciating bisexual librarin aesthetics, shoes for straight boys, and aggressive Wii Bowling. Our friendship promo this week is @MissionRejected! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew...

Sep 13, 202051 minEp. 101

100: Tanner and Lindsay Explore Abandoned Husks of Geocities

Episode 100! And what better way to celebrate our biggest milestone yet with a show that almost shares a name with us - ReBoot! This isn't a mere April Fool's episode, this is the real deal show about the tiny people who live inside your computer. We're giving it a miniseries to wrap everything up, and of course we're bringing back Hexadecimal too, but that doesn't mean we can't take a moment to parody as many video games and websites as possible. And it's not a NIIRYF episode without tangents, ...

Sep 06, 20201 hr 7 minEp. 100

99: Lindsay Uses Flashdance Money to Make the Maureen Marder Story

This week, by popular demand, Lindsay's talking about Flashdance! An 80s movie about chasing your dreams and also your older boss...yeah we gotta change some stuff. First we update the setting and get the soundtrack covered by some other artists, but then we find out about how the story was basically stolen from a real woman and decide to burn down movie studios. Also discussed are hating on Toronto, the extracurricular warehouse, and post-disco. Our friendship promo this week is @needsanamepod!...

Aug 30, 202042 minEp. 99

98: Locke Reboots Coraline for ONE Scene (or two)

This week Locke has crawled through a secret door in their basement and found themselves on our podcast, so they're making a new Coraline movie! The first go around was good but misses some important terrifying nasty scenes, and also didn't really need Wybie (even though we love him). Also featured are Lindsay and Tanner sharing the serial killers their peers made up to scare them, wasp fighting, and a man in the woods. Our friendship promo this week is @goodnightmare_s! Our cover art is yb Alex...

Aug 23, 20201 hr 4 minEp. 98

97: Lindsay Invokes the Power of Four

This week Lindsay is rebooting Charmed...again! The old one had problems and the new one has new and different problems, so she's starting from scratch. She'll tell Tanner all about astrology, order vs freedom, and 2000s fashion. Tanner just can't stop bringing up the haunted vagina. Our friendship promo this week is @deadletterpod! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found at ptchew.com. Our theme music is by Shawn Clake, who's contact info is available upon request. Our e...

Aug 16, 202054 minEp. 97

96: Tanner vs. An Evil Ex Boss Rush

This week Tanner is rebooting Scott Pilgrim - three different ways! Would a film trilogy have optimal points at which to have a satisfying climax? A tv show would allow every aspect to be adopted and then some - but what if there's not quite enough content for it? And if we made a video game, how many genres would we have to incorporate in order to capture the true essence of Scott? This and more and Tanner and Lindsay also discuss licensing issues, age differences, and throwing a tomato at your...

Aug 09, 202056 minEp. 96

95: Lindsay Goes Legendtripping on a Razor Scooter

For this People's Choice episode, Lindsay is taking us back to the late 90s for Mona the Vampire. The setting's the same but the characters are aged-up enough to go on Gravity Falls-esque adventures through town, seeking out cryptids and hauntings wherever they go. Also discussed are tall people sports, a kresnik, and the optimum length for an ARG. This week's friendship promo is @MyFavoritePkmn! Our cover art is by Alex aka @ptchew, and her work can be found on ptchew.com. our theme music is by...

Aug 02, 202047 minEp. 95

94: Kids and their Dog Brought a Slideshow (Better Get Comfy)

Welcome back to the second annual NIIRKatD Crossover! Cassidy and Lava have returned to talk us through a reboot of Fusion Fall, the Cartoon Network crossover apocalypse MMORPG! They'll share ideas for building on the original story, adding in the stuff the fan-made reboot tried to, and using the game as a vessel to tell stories with characters who's shows have finished. Also discussed are a very small cell phone, fortnite research, and jimmies. Our friendship promo this week is @NotAScratchCast...

Jul 19, 202054 minEp. 94

93: Tanner has Solved the Snowflake Puzzle

Marvel rebooted the New Warriors and it's BAD. So Tanner's trying their hand at it, while at the same time taking a page from the Stargirl TV show. This is a generational saga, with teens of now and in the 90s, from all walks of life like nonbinary, or skateboard, or laser-eating-dragon. More importantly, them and Lindsay are separating it from the MCU continuity because that whole thing just drags everyone else down. Also discussed are Timeslip's awesome costume, the Bakian Nova family, and whe...

Jul 12, 202053 minEp. 93

92: Lindsay Keeps Up with the Capulets

This week things get Shakespearean Lindsay is digging into Still Star-Crossed, a tv sequel to Romeo and Juliet that got cut short before it could even accomplish much. As such we try to rebuild it as some kind of historical-political-drama-soap opera and wind up incorporating a chunk of Will's other works into it to. Also featured: getting big mad in italy, not tempting the wrath of the the guy from atop the place, and The New Young Pope. Our friendship promo this week is @STBCPodcast! Our cover...

Jul 05, 202049 minEp. 92