Hanna:
Happy Holidays! Episode 20 is here! Thanks for waiting. We had a big snowstorm here and the power went out for a few days so I know this episode is coming out a big later than expected but I still think it’s going to be really helpful for you whenever you listen! So here it is, episode number 20.
Hey all! I am feeling the holiday joy hard core this season. Maybe it’s because my family is in town and it just got really snowy here in the mountains. And my mom just informed me that she’s never spent Christmas anywhere other than Ohio, which is where I’m originally from. And you know, my parents love to travel but not during the holidays so it feels like a Christmas miracle. So maybe that’s why I feel extra joyous!
Maybe it’s because we just got a slamming deal on a vintage village collection to make the house look more Christmas-y. Joy to the little holiday world that I have glowing on the shelf behind me right now.
But MAYBE this joy is coming from the fact that I’ve never personally gone so deep into thought work and self coaching as I did this year, with the intention of feeling into joy and magic. And I told Michael the other day that I really can see that it’s ME that creates joy during the holidays and anytime. It’s me. Like I talk about this for you all on this show and with my clients as if I have mastered this concept in my life and in many ways I have but sometimes I really am like floored by my own powers of creation. I create stress and frustration and all the shit feelings but I also create joy. Like I literally see it this season more than I ever have before. I do this.
So if you’re just starting this work, you just found me or just found coaching OR if you’ve been doing some self development and awareness for a WHILE now, I want let you know that regardless of where you are and what season of your life you are in, you will keep on surprising yourself, you will keep making miracles, you will keep seeing yourself and seeing work come to fruition, in different ways and new ways, like forever. Forever. It’s so cool to notice this in my life this year like here I am sharing this work with people and getting aha moments from clients and being like the monk on the mountain sometimes but I am NOT that at all. I am still right down here walking the dirty little thought paths with you, having my own ahas.
So I’m like seeing now the fruits of my beliefs around feeling holiday joy. And I wanted to make an episode for you about this idea of believing in something even before it is real for you.
I didn’t used to feel the magic of this season, or the dream or the fantastical nature of the holidays. Right like I have alot of friends or even people I follow on social medio who’s posts I look at who are always like omg the ornaments and the decorations and the lights and the snow and all the things it’s just like the best. And I would be like, so? Like ok cool but I dunno, seems kinda dumb. But honestly, I do feel the magic this year. And it’s certainly not because there IS more magic than before. Or I stopped caring about the things that I feel strongly about like not overspending on useless gifts or overextending yourself just because it’s that time of year. I’m still clear on who I am and what I choose to care and not care about.
I can still be me and be in my truth AND see magic. Feel joyous.
It’s because I decided ahead of time to believe in the wonder and warmth and beauty of this time. I’m talking about like THIS week. The week where it’s always feeling crazy and overwhelming, for me, because usually my thought is like ugh why though? Like what the heck is all the fuss? I don’t want to fuss but I have to and that doesn’t feel magical. That just feels like obligation.
But this year, all year, I decided ahead of time to feel joy and see magic.
And so within the context of the world, I can make magic by creating things that feel impossible. Like joy through crazy times. Like peace through chaos.
So this brings me to this dirty thought for today which is Seeing is Believing. Okay. Seeing is believing. Dirty little thought and I’m going to show you why. Maybe you’ve never really had this thought the way that I’m saying it.
This isn’t usually something we hear ourselves say. We’re not walking around going seeing is believing, I can’t believe unless I see.
But for you it might sound like, “there's just no way I can find love.” “It’s impossible for me to lose weight” “I could never have a job I enjoy” “I’ll always have conflict with this person.” “I’ll believe it when I see it.” Right? Who’s said that before!? “I’ll believe it when it happens.” “Hard to imagine that.”
Seeing is Believing or a version of that thought is sometimes your brain trying to protect you from disappointment. That’s okay. But what’s so bad about disappointment when the alternative might be magic? If you’re waiting to see something to believe that it’s possible for you, you are allowing your brain to rationalize for you that magic does not exist. Don’t get your hopes up because you’ve never seen this before so why would it happen now, or ever? Creating something that feels impossible would be magic and magic isn’t real.
But let me ask you, are you willing to risk being wrong about the existence of magic if there’s even a slight change it could lead you to everything you want?
I’m willing to take the risk of disappointment.
So if you’re like okay maybe I can believe in magic but how? I still can’t really see how because my brain like isn’t computing how this is possible. I can’t see it yet because I can’t see it yet.
This might be an indication that our imagination has died. And that’s not only unhelpful in creating the life that you want, that’s just sad. Haha. I don't want to kill my imagination. Because that’s my creative juice.
So I’m going to offer that this thought, “Seeing is Believing” is like, the dirtiest of the dirty thoughts. Imagine the glistening and untouched snowdrifts just after an epic snowstorm. And now imagine a few days later after all the cars have started driving over the snow again and every dog in town takes a piss there and the wind blows a bunch of dead tree branches and crap all over and it’s like half melted and all nasty looking. That’s the dirtiness of this thought, that believing is seeing. So dirty.
Because if seeing is believing then we will never create anything new.
So this is for you if you want evidence first.
You’re making a mistake if that’s what you want first. Ok. I need to see that I can before I can. Evidence first is a mistake.
Belief first. Imagination first, that is how you will see!
What I decided this year was that I would revisit a version of myself that had an incredible imagination. I used to play pretend ALL THE TIME when I was a kid. My sister and I would put on plays that we’d just make up as we went along. I would talk to myself all the time.
But like I had to remember that I could imagine, no matter how old I am now that doesn’t take away my ability to imagine.
If you are like I have no imagination. I can’t see it unless I see it.
Can you get immersed in a film or a book? Can you hear a story from someone and imagine what it looks like or looked like? Do you ever dream? Have you ever planned a trip to somewhere you’ve never been? Listened to music and felt some kinda of way based on the lyrics?
Yeah, so you do have imagination because you can see things that aren’t real. Aren’t right there in front of you in the flesh being real. You have imagination and belief to tap into, you just aren’t noticing that it’s there. You aren’t choosing to use it.
So if you think that seeing is believing and that is the only way to feel sure about having something you want or reaching a goal, I’m telling you to rethink that.
What I’m inviting you to do today is to be the child version of yourself in your ability to believe without seeing, but the adult version of yourself with so many more skills and life experiences to help you actually bring what you want to life.
Right? So if you celebrated Christmas as a kid, when you saw the gifts under the tree and the storybooks about reindeer. Remember that? Tap in to that wonder and curiosity and belief without proof. If you didn’t do Christmas or Santa or the Easter bunny or one of the western culture religious traditions there was something that I know you can recall believing in as a kid. Like I had this book called the little rabbit who wanted red wings. Has anyone else ever read this book? It was about just that, a little rabbit who wanted red wings and he wished for them at a wishing well and he grew wings and I think the story was actually kind of sad because his mother didn’t recognize him anymore and he was like left outside haha thinking back now it should have terrified me but what I actually remember is that I knew there was a wishing well somewhere in the world that if I said my wish near it, I could have whatever I wanted.
And I never found the well. Yet.
But that doesn’t mean it isn’t there, somewhere. Right?
I was watching Miracle on 34th street and in the movie the little girl asks her stepdad have you ever seen a million dollars? And he says no. And she’s like just because you’ve never seen it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
But not believing that a million dollars exists only puts you at odds with ever seeing it. Holding it it your hand. Making that much money. Right?
We talk on this show about thoughts that keep us stuck, right?
One of the biggest reasons why my clients struggle with not being able to have what they want is that they don’t believe they can have it. I always ask when clients are setting goals, do you believe that this is possible. So you have to practice believing its possible first.
And maybe if you do believe it’s possible to meet yourself one day as the person you’d like to be, maybe what’s stopping you is not believing that right now we can survive the disappointment of not having it immediately. Right like why believe and put myself through the hard part of not finding it instantly? Why believe that there’s a wishing well somewhere in the world and for 35 years endure the disappointment of not finding it yet. What if it never happens? What if I put in work and my goal doesn’t happen?
If you feel uncomfortable setting a goal or making a deal with yourself or believing in something, it’s because you are trying to prevent disappointment…but here’s the truth I’ve shared with you on this show before: you’re disappointing yourself ahead of time through a thought of impossibility. You already survive disappointment every day that you don’t try to achieve anything new.
I want to believe in me but I don’t see it so…no, I’ll go ahead and get right to the disappointment now, the belief that I can’t. Because I can believe that part. The can’t part. Because I see that now.
You’ll never see anything new if you don’t believe you can so you need to feel into your belief so that you can feel safe enough to try. It’s a skill. Belief. I think it is a skill we can cultivate and practice. It’s like retraining our brain to think for us and work for us. It’s retraining our brain to play pretend and imagine. The skill of holding a belief and a vision and playing there in creative exploration. Thinking ahead and seeing what other people don’t see. Imagining things happening is a skill to build.
When we talk about Reparenting yourself to give yourself the things you didn’t get as a child, I think one of things we need to do to reparent ourselves is to teach ourselves that it is safe to imagine. It is safe to play with impossibility.
How can we now, as adults with free will, loosen the grip on this idea of being “realistic” and replacing that with what feels unrealistic and allowing your brain to run, fly, with that? As we grow up we have this conditioning that It’s time to get real now. It’s time to see things realistically, get your head out of the clouds, quit indulging your fantasies and start focusing on the real world. But look at if this type of programming has actually created a lack of ability to show up in the REAL WORLD, making magic. You can live in the real world and make magic there.
The other thing I want to mention is for those of you that feel like it’s painful to create something you don’t believe in because you have learned that the only joy is in the endpoint, but what if the joy lives in the process of creating something too? The joy of failing forward. Look at your life and noticing that you having opted into disappointment ahead of time by not believing. There is joy there, in creating failures. It might not feel that way but if you look hard enough or look at it differently, or if you let yourself believe, you will find joy in the process. I talk about self confidence being built on failures and knowing that you’re ok and you can keep going and learn stuff and try a different way. The joy of of figuring something out, even before it comes to fruition, is real.
Magic exists. Universal magic exists.
I need to keep saying this. Because I see it. And I want you to believe so you can see it too.
I was talking about this with Michael recently because he has recently really taken off in his private cheffing event business, but he was like you know I had to make room for this, literal room in the calendar to be able to take on these clients and do these jobs, but he couldn’t have done that without an imagination about what could be, what he could create. And he had to let go of a job where he was making money working for someone else, with the willingness to flop and feel disappointed and fear.
An unwillingness to feel the emotions you need to allow to get you to your goal literally tells the universal magic, stay back, I’m not ready to feel what it takes to make space and do the things that are necessary to achieve what I want, so I’ll stay here, closed from the experience of magic in the universe, in my life, in myself.
So yes magic exists and you have to believe and be willing to do what it takes to allow it to come in for you.
I was thinking about what it feels like to believe to see. And I was thinking of shaking a snow globe. Turning a snow globe over and watching the sparkles and snow fall and it’s mesmerizing to stare into that globe.
Mesmerize yourself with the freedom to believe anything.
Let yourself experience the pleasure, the delight of believing on purpose, upfront.
Right? Even if there’s some disappointment, reluctance towards not having what you want immediately or with ease, why would you deny yourself the opportunity to feel the delight of belief?
Wanting to avoid disappointment isn’t a good reason!
It’s like smashing the snow globe for fear that one day it might break.
Believing is seeing. Happy holidays.
So here’s the holiday haps: I’m putting on my Santa suit and reaching into my bag of goodies and pulling out all the stops for you this new year!
Little drummer boy gimme a drum roll please.
As a special gift to you, my listeners, I’m giving you a Bangin New Year Strategy Session for FREE!
Extremely high value, for free.
You need to snag a spot asap though. The link is in the show notes to sign up.
During this session I’m going to show you exactly what’s stopping you from having what you want, how to manage your mind to actually get it, and exactly what you’ll need to follow through.
No tinsel attached, just you, me, and your epic vision for 2022.
This is NOT a consultation. If you’d like to work with me in a coaching program, you need to book into a consult so we can discuss continued work together. And a reminder that prices for private coaching go up in the new year, so you need to get your ass in gear if you want to take advantage of my current rates.
Let me say something about that real quick: this offer to hurry up and go for it is really for those of you who’ve been on the fence or saving up for coaching. Here’s your gentle nudge. Your “real good reason” to go for it now.
But on the real: all y’all can afford Coaching, anytime. There will be lots of people who never hear this podcast, don’t know that my rates went up or down or sideways and they’ll have their own thoughts about what the dollar signs mean.
So don’t get in bed with your brain on this one and be like well if I don’t do this now then I never can. K? Promise me you won’t use this information against yourself. Ok? My rates are my rates. When you want Coaching you will find a way to pay for it. Thats it. So hurry up if you want to use this price increase as a good time for you to jump into Coaching. But it doesn’t need to mean that.
Believe that you can have a coach, whenever you want.
Remember the episode I did about “I can’t afford to have the life I want”. Well if you don’t, the cliff notes is that you can. You can coach with me now, next month or in January of 2025…whenever you decide, the investment will be the exact amount that you’re supposed to pay.
Alright go sign up for a Banging New Year Strategy Session with me and we will lay the groundwork for your best 2022.
See you in the New Year!