The #Millennial holiday spectacular is here! We’re live, on camera, and drinking! Patrons can watch video of our entire recording here. Our $5 and $10 Patrons gained access to a new benefit: an exclusive #Millennial Discord channel where you can chat with each other and the hosts in realtime! Head over to patreon.com/millennial and click Settings > Account > Add Discord to join in the conversation! The Secret Santa exchange is back, and this year’s gifts are decidedly thoughtful (and in one case...
Dec 18, 2018•1 hr 9 min
We’re gearing up for the holidays! Andrew and Pat are baking cookies, Laura is nearly getting murdered by repairmen, and the deadline to sign up for healthcare is December 15th! Listeners sound off: reactions to last week’s CRISPR discussion and a confessional about a sexless relationship. Since Tumblr is removing porn, we can go ahead and say RIP. On a lighter note, our Associate Producer Choice has $10 Patrons sharing their favorite porn sources, so take notes! “Keep your pic in your pants!” C...
Dec 11, 2018•1 hr 5 min
We’re back this week with guest Jared, who works for a probation and parole department. Will we get through the episode without bring thrown in the clink? Jared schools us on the importance of criminal justice reform, as well as the other areas our justice system has room for improvement. On the first day of Christmas Robert Mueller gave to me… Now that we can’t watch porn at Starbucks anymore, what is the point of going there, even? A Chinese scientist named He Jiankui has reported that he’s cr...
Dec 04, 2018•1 hr 8 min
Turkey hangover has passed, the world is still on fire, and #Millennial is back! What did we do when we were off-air the last two weeks? Partied like fucking rockstars, that’s what. Jk, we all saw Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Weak Screenplays. The US spirals further and further into Orwellian dystopia. Merry Christmas, have some tear gas. George Soros, often accused of bankrolling left-wing conspiracies, was blamed by no other than Facebook for the negative press surrounding its various data ...
Nov 27, 2018•1 hr 2 min
We're joined by Rachel Ritlop, the owner of The Confused Millennial website and podcast! California has had a terrible week -- Pam and Andrew have stories relating to the Thousand Oaks shooting and the horrific fires Midterm update: The Blue Wave's high tide continues, as Donald Trump declares that we shouldn't count all votes We talk to Rachel about how The Confused Millennial became her full time job What are the biggest challenges with being on that work-from-home grind? And are more people h...
Nov 13, 2018•1 hr 25 min
Welcome to the 2018 midterms, which will never ever #%$&ing end. Light up a fat one in honor of the nation’s most reviled Keebler Elf, Jeff Sessions. Podcast friends! Check out the podcast Other People’s Lives for the inside scoop on being a 40-year-old virgin, a ghost hunter, and much more. The good: over 1 million Floridians had voting rights re-instated, over 100 women were elected to congress, Democrats took control of the House, the first openly gay governor was elected in Colorado, and the...
Nov 08, 2018•1 hr 13 min
It's Election Day in the United States, so we've created a special episode of #Millennial that is as long as the average wait time at the polls. Enjoy 11 minutes of fun, tears, and WTFness. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Nov 06, 2018•13 min
Pam and Andrew watched the LONG World Series, while Laura got heckled by a weirdo neighbor. We create a special 11 minute #Millennial minisode for when you wait in line to vote. Announcing the new $1 Patreon supporter tier - DTF! Come on, aren’t we worth $1? The MAGAnuts are at it again: shooting at a synagogue in Pittsburgh and pipe bombs being mailed to prominent Democrats and CNN. For a different kind of explosion, check out the AutoBlow AI - the first sex toy capable of delivering a lifelike...
Oct 31, 2018•1 hr 16 min
Listener Josh joins us on the show this week to talk Star Wars, Trump supporting relatives, and to make Andrew envious of his silky radio voice. Laura gives a review of Chicago, Hamilton, and a new definition of gang banging. Researchers at Oxford University report that Virtual Reality exposure therapy can help us withstand our anxieties. How might exposure training for the crippling fear of inadequacy be facilitated? Every time you eat a porkchop, God kills a kitten you are killing the planet. ...
Oct 23, 2018•1 hr 17 min
Elizabeth Warren, like many white people before her, is cleaving to trace amounts of Native American ancestry in her DNA results. Which brings us to the point of who gives a fuck? The Confessional requires some advice from the #Millennial love doctor and friend whisperer. Taylor Swift may have encouraged an additional 56,669 voters to register, but agent orange likes her music “25% less.” Sad! Voter suppression in Georgia has Laura repeatedly reminding listeners to call on Republican gubernatori...
Oct 16, 2018•1 hr 28 min
Want your first month of #Millennial bonus content for free? Confirm your voter registration status and we’ll happily oblige. Click here for more details. UPDATE: Fan Bingbang has been released - sadly, this story ends in tragedy for her bank account. Judge Kavanope was confirmed to the Supreme Court Saturday. Joe Manchin proved that there is no such thing as a West Virginia Democrat, and Susan Collins said “I believe victims of sexual assault, I just don’t care. LOL.” Knock the Vote hopes to br...
Oct 09, 2018•1 hr 17 min
Andrew's feeling a love for Patagonia this fall, but appears to be the only brand whore on the panel #Millennial PSA: If you know a white man being denied an opportunity because of his history as an abuser, keep him in your #thoughtsandprayers. CHECK YOUR VOTER REGISTRATION STATUS. THEN DOUBLE CHECK IT: Vote.org Dr. Christine Blasey Ford was poised, measured, and credible in her testimony. Meanwhile, Dudley Dursley had a partisan meltdown. Will a limited scope, short FBI investigation vindicate ...
Oct 03, 2018•1 hr 15 min
Live from the #Millennial Pulpit this week, we are joined by Alex, who is both a listener and a pastor. We’re shocked that such a good person listens to THIS show. Offensive Halloween costumes are back in full force this year. What’s sexier than sexual servitude? Do: Dress up like Black Panther if you want! Don’t: Paint your skin brown. Why is this hard for people? Is Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein next on the Trump chopping block? What this would mean for the Mueller investigation and w...
Sep 25, 2018•1 hr 12 min
Hurricanes, mushrooms, and homeowner woes abound in this week’s #Millennial. The Emmys were a snooze fest for viewers and presenters alike. Brett Kavanaugh gets the Anita Hill treatment: Dr. Christine Blasey Ford has come forward with allegations that the SCOTUS nominee assaulted her when they were teenagers. Did the Chinese government kidnap famous actress Fan Bingbang for tax evasion? Guess which country wants to legalize dueling? Surprisingly, it’s not the US. Google that Shit (or, in Soviet ...
Sep 20, 2018•1 hr 15 min
Pat is back with some big news: His fam won Best Cow at the county fair. #BumpkinLife Shockingly, Pat was uninterested in dating Show Andrew but came around once he met Real Andrew. Important Announcement: Andrew has hSv, not hPv. Why the hell do people not leave when a hurricane is coming their way? Stay safe, East Coast! Facebook Official Patrons ask two questions: Is Trump's position on trade justified? How do we feel about horror video games? Apple is back with new products you don't need bu...
Sep 13, 2018•1 hr 24 min
Welcome to the (shit)show, Angel! Do furries dress as red pandas? BREAKING: A senior White House official wrote an anonymous op-ed for the New York Times confirming the Republic’s dumpster fire status. 2018 Gift for $10 Patrons: a #Millennial sticker set! Facebook Official Patrons can expect to receive theirs in a few weeks (Make sure your mailing address is up to date!). Pledge at the Facebook Official Level now to receive your sticker set later this year! We’ve found the one thing millennials ...
Sep 06, 2018•1 hr 10 min
It’s a full show this week: remembering John McCain, a victory in Georgia, and PSL is comin’ back baby! Actress and creator Mariana Novak joins us to talk acting life, voiceover work, Jason Bateman, and being Russian and American in the current climate. We always knew Paul Manafort would look great in orange… …and that Michael Cohen would flip… …and that the National Enquirer has a safe filled with dirt on Trump?! Looking forward to November 6th, Lyft will be providing free and reduced fare ride...
Aug 28, 2018•2 hr 30 min
This week, listener Kelsey joins the show to give us public speaking advice (gulp)! Pam is back from Vegas with an explanation of how she met a Backstreet Boy and why she bought $20 avocado toast and thus will be unable to retire. How to embrace the nerves and anxiety surrounding public speaking? Remember that no one wants you to fail (unless your name begins with T and ends with rump). Facebook is looking to solidify its presence as the internet’s cesspit by introducing an anonymous down-voting...
Aug 21, 2018•1 hr 14 min
One of our hosts spent $20 on avocado toast, so we fired her and warned that she’ll never be able to afford a home. Marc sits in, promoting Andrew to ask a barrage of personal questions as one does. Who’s getting guaranteed salaries, health insurance, bonuses for wins, and subscription payments? Gamers. The panel experiences a sudden desire for a career shift. JFK nOT DeAd CIA tOOK DoWn JFK jr. So hilLarY COulD RuN fOR SEnaTe tOM HAnKS iS A PedoPhiLe tRUMP kNoWs ExaCtlY hOW tO Be prEsiDEnt wE Ar...
Aug 14, 2018•1 hr 28 min
Welcome to the end of 420 jokes - it’s episode 4x30 maaaaaaan. Welcome Roshni! This week, we kick off a new $10 Patron benefit where we’ll be bringing on listener guest hosts. This week marks the 53rd anniversary of the Voting Rights Act. The best way to celebrate is to check your voter registration status. Listener Kris is moving out of her apartment, and into her car. We call her, and she fields a multitude of questions about her new life. Judeo-Christian ideals are deeply rooted in our cultur...
Aug 07, 2018•1 hr 18 min
We chose avocado toast over paying the bills, but we still managed to return from our summer break as promised. Where do we stand on Disney’s firing of James Gunn? How false equivalencies and absolutism have made this debate a frustrating one. Andrew made Laura a song, our listeners fap to Andrew, and much more in this week’s confessional. In altogether non-shocking news, then-candidate Trump was presented with evidence that Vladimir Putin sought to interfere in the 2016 election, and a best fri...
Jul 31, 2018•1 hr 27 min
On this week’s episode, we take a walk on the conservative side. Listener Parker joins us to talk hot button topics like immigration, funding, healthcare, and abortion. If con is the opposite of pro, isn’t congress the opposite of progress? Several members of congress get duped into publicly endorsing a program that would arm preschoolers. Facebook wants to ensure you’re seeing more of the things you care about: baby pictures, cat videos, and Infowars conspiracy theories. Another one bites the d...
Jul 17, 2018•2 hr 32 min
We’re joined this week by Andrew’s paramour, Pat! Pat fills us in on that dairy farmer life: tariffs, and hormones, and nut juice, oh my! Speaking of milk, the US delegation to the UN made waves this week when they went rogue and blocked a resolution that would have promoted breastfeeding. Our BFFs over in Russia saved the day though! The “toxic fandom” phenomena continues to gain steam as stars are forced to delete social media accounts to avoid harassment. When does critique go too far? In oth...
Jul 10, 2018•1 hr 14 min
Happy 4th of July! The US still has over 2,000 children in cages. This week in more ‘America is fucked’ news, justice Anthony Kennedy resigns from the Supreme Court, leaving a second vacancy for Trump to fill. Disney and Universal Studios are banking on millennial nostalgia in their upcoming theme park ventures. We’re sure there will be an avocado toast stand on every corner! A Hillary Clinton Theme Park? We brainstorm ideas. BREAKING NEWS: North Korea never had any intention of denuclearizing. ...
Jul 03, 2018•1 hr 11 min
Andrew and Pam kick off the show with a spoiler free review of Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. Speaking of fallen kingdoms, we provide this week’s update on the US border detention situation. Tl;dr: 2,300 children are still separated from their parents, and border patrol will re-vive the Obama-era “catch and release” policy. Sarah Huckabee Sanders and the Hypocrite’s Podium: as progressives, are we really doing ourselves any favors by taking the low road? Canada? More like Cannibisda! Do we thin...
Jun 26, 2018•1 hr 21 min
Welcome back, sycophants. Marc rejoins us this week to tell us what nerds should be excited for after E3. (The answer is ALWAYS Pokémon, duh.) Just in case you missed it… THE US GOVERNMENT IS PUTTING CHILDREN IN CAGES THE US GOVERNMENT IS PUTTING CHILDREN IN CAGES THE US GOVERNMENT IS PUTTING CHILDREN IN CAGES Got it? Jeff Sessions joins us to share some of his favorite fascist-inspired scriptural quotations. According to a new study 53% of millennials expect to become millionaires. This is not ...
Jun 19, 2018•1 hr 8 min
Who did it better? IHOP marketing their “name change” to “IHOB,” or Agent Orange marketing his summit with Little Rocket Man? All this in this week’s #Millennial and much more! We call Kate, a Canadian listener who schools us in provincial politics and explains the election of min-Trump, Doug Ford. President Trump tells our allies to suck a dick and leaves the G7 summit early to snuggle up with a murderous dictator instead. The University of Pennsylvania has released a new study that shows socia...
Jun 12, 2018•1 hr 26 min
Happy June, Happy Pride! We welcome Dr. Sarah Steelman to the show to discuss her research on same-gender pairings and degrees of “outness.” Sarah informs us on a number of topics, including queer theory, the Matrix of Intelligibility, and the impacts of heteronormativity, politics, and history on LGB persons. In the news: Apple’s iOS 12 aims to decrease notifications stress, SCOTUS rules in favor of an anti-gay baker, Facebook proves yet again why they suck at data privacy, and a US Senator att...
Jun 05, 2018•2 hr 37 min
“Bless me #Millennial for I have sinned. It has been 3 days and 12 hours since the last time I threw my garbage on a movie theater floor.” - Andrew Marc (aka Micah?) joins us and gives us his E3 predictions. He and Andrew plan to get E-rect. We force Pam to answer some cringey interview questions used by employers to be hip and cool with the kids. In the news: The Celebrity President is leading up to an exciting season finale: Will they or won’t they: North Korea edition, The great GDPR inbox fl...
May 29, 2018•2 hr 32 min
Welcome back to #Millennial! it’s 4x20 maaaaaaaaaaan. We kick off the show with a new segment, #MilleniHelp. With almost a third of the US population not putting away enough for retirement, what are we doing to save? Patrons sound off and share some of their best savings advice. Here we go again: we discuss the 22nd school shooting of 2018 and no one is surprised. Things the GOP will ban before guns: doors, high-rise buildings, schools. The infamous Laurel vs Yanny debate brings science and ling...
May 22, 2018•1 hr 17 min
