Welcome to the Mastering Midlife podcast where we talk about all the crazy fun things that happen when you are a midlife mama. I'm your host, Heather London. Let's dig in. Hola chicos, chicas. Okay, here I am in the park. I'm headed to buy groceries and there's this wonderful park so I thought I would shoot the podcast here. So if you're listening... you can't see it but you can hear it here the birds in spain in general i guess or maybe just the area i'm in they have like wild parrots
So it's super cool because they just hang out in the palm trees and then all of a sudden you can see them flying and they're just like these beautiful little green parrots all over the place. That's what you can hear anyway. Today I wanted to talk about last, on Saturday, so two days ago, I went to a meetup. So every time I go to a new city...
I make it a point to go to the meetups, all the meetups. So I do the language exchange, which is super painful for me because I'm still... learning and you do half an hour in English half an hour in Spanish and that half an hour in Spanish is takes forever because they're usually like the Spanish speakers are local they're native speakers so
It's just hard to understand. But anyway, I went to this meetup that wasn't about language exchange because I needed to give myself a break. And it was just a meetup with people.
anybody who wants to you know meet new friends or hang out and have a drink and I think normally there there might be like 10 people there but on this night there were i don't know like 30 people it was packed there was a ton of people so it was quite lovely i got to meet a ton of people from all over the world most of the people are european
But every once in a while you come across a North American. And the reason I wanted to talk about this today is because I was thinking about it like when... When I'm traveling, I'm always looking to make new connections and make new friends. So if I'm in a place for a couple of weeks or a month or month and a half, I want to see if I can meet up with some cool people.
That was like... a guy running right beside me and then this dog coming up and barking at him looking like he was gonna bite him anyway that happened like right in front of my face oh my gosh um so what i was talking about is I hate that when you're a runner and then dogs chase you. It's like, dude, not okay. But anyway, when I'm traveling, I always like to meet new people, 100%. And one of the best ways to do it is through meetup. And you could do it even if you're not traveling.
but meetup just has all of these meetups that are specific to what you're looking for so if you're a hiker or like a new hiker or you want to learn how to knit or language exchange you just download the app and then go in and put where you are and just start looking up for meetups. So anytime I go to a new city, I join all the meetups. And so this one was for just like totally socializing.
And what I noticed was community is so important. Like community is everything, no matter who you are or what you're doing. Feeling like you belong to something bigger than yourself or a part of something is critical. That's a game changer. and I noticed it at this exchange because like I said most people are European and so you notice when somebody from Germany meets another person from Germany
They have that instant connection. And there's never anybody from Canada there. But on this night, there was a Canadian there. And it's funny because when I was meeting people... They would say to me, oh, there's another Canadian here. Did you meet her? So they're like telling me that she's here somewhere. So I made it my mission before I left. I wanted to make sure that I could go and find this.
Canadian and I spent hours there it was so fun just the people were so lovely it didn't matter how old you were where you from you just had great conversations with people and made new friends and connections so it was really enjoyable And then on my way out, I was just, okay, where's this Canadian girl? And of course, I was talking to one guy from the States, and he's like, oh, that's the Canadian girl over there. So I went to meet her.
As soon as you say hi to somebody and tell them where you're from and you're from the same place, you have this instant connection because you know, you just know. And you're like, I get you. And so if we were in Canada, I wouldn't be connected to this person. But just because she's from Canada, we have this instant connection, this instant bond.
Oh, there's the dog doing nothing again. So, and it's amazing because we are just... chatting away where are you from Vancouver oh I'm from Vancouver too another deeper connection like just now all of a sudden we're best friends and then it's like where in Vancouver you're from I'm from I'm from
She's like, I'm from Port Coquitlam too. Like, I live in Port Coquitlam before I came here. I'm like, what? Are you kidding me? So she has lived like... five ten minutes from where I live and so the connection got even deeper and then she was talking about going to Portugal and meeting up actually with her mom
And that's where I went to meet up with my son. So another connection. And then, of course, I have to say, you have to have the pastel de nada if you've never had them before. And she's like, girl. you know that they have them at the European bakery. It's called the European bakery in downtown Poco. I'm like, what? A deeper, deeper connection. Like just, holy cow.
And it was just so lovely to connect with somebody who just gets you and knows. Like, you don't have to say all the things. It's just you're instantly on that same connection of the language, the city, the bakery. And it's just so wonderful. But I just wanted to offer up that no matter what you're looking for, it's really important that we have connection.
to something other than ourselves, to something bigger than ourselves. And if you don't know what that is, just go out and start trying things. Just experiment with things and see what happens. Join some meetups and see, like... Because if you're joining a meetup about beginner hikers, everybody's a beginner hiker. You can be like kids. I love when kids meet each other because they're just so free. They're like, oh.
You have a red shirt? I have a red shirt. Let's be best friends forever. It's like, oh, you breathe air? I breathe air. Oh my God, you're my best friend. And I feel like somehow when we get to a certain age, we can't do that anymore. And that makes us separate. it isolates us but what if you could just do that no matter what like if i go to the grocery store and somebody's buying bread i'm like oh i love that kind of bread too instant connection you can find an instant connection no matter
where you are, who you're talking with, it doesn't matter. Because we are all connected, we're all the same. So sometimes you need to work a little harder to find that connection, like the guy from the United States. I'm always trying to find a connection when I talk to somebody, and when I find out what he does, he's like, he's an animator. I'm like, oh, awesome, my kids are animators. Boom, instant connection. And then I ask him for some advice.
on animating like when you're overseas and he gives him this amazing advice and then boom we're even deeper connected because we just understand the same thing. So you could do that with anybody anywhere. And I want to invite you to ask yourself, how can I incorporate this into my daily life to make midlife better? Because we change a ton in midlife.
We're not driving kids to sports and doing all these things. We're rediscovering ourselves. We're making new connections. We're making new friendship groups. We're traveling the world by ourselves. Like every time I travel solo, the first thing I'll do... is get into a meet-up group like the language exchange and then they have game nights and they have karaoke and they have all the things and some nights i'll find myself saying like i don't want to be i don't want to go
do the thing and then other nights I'm just craving it like the Saturday night like the week before I was in an Airbnb that was like three minutes from this place and I'm like I just don't feel like doing it doing the thing and then saturday i'm like i'm craving just talking to people just making connections and so it took me like longer to get there but it was the it was what i needed in that moment so you it's there for you all the time
Even if you're not traveling to another city and you feel like you're lonely or you want to make new connections, just find that instant thing. What do you have in common? Sewing or skating or skiing or snowboarding or baking or... whatever it is, and then go there and be a part of that. And from there, you can't not make more connections. But I also want to invite you to ask yourself, if you have these opportunities and you're not doing it,
I wonder why. I wonder what's going on. Because midlife can be isolating. It can. And I've said this before, when women get into midlife, we kind of become... invisible in a way because it you know our kids don't need us all the time and they were our main source of of inspiration and purpose and all of it time
love all of that and so when they go off and and become you know real humans and living their big fabulous lives we're like what do we what do we do now but all of this is possible for you And I just wanted to share this because it really, really brought home for me how powerful community is. And that's why...
I'm all about community. If you are a midlife mom, a midlife woman, a woman in menopause and you're going through it, you need to find a community. And I have... community so if you think that my community be a fit for you reach out and join the community it's so ridiculously cheap it's $47 a month and we do weekly calls and we do monthly challenges And you build this community of...
instantly like you're in midlife and it's really hard oh I get you girl and you're going through these things yeah me too so there's that instant connection oh you're from Port Coquilla me too like that's how Because sometimes when you talk about this with people who don't understand it or your husband or kids, they just don't get it. Nobody could understand it unless you're actually going through it. And as soon as you say what's happening and another woman is like, yeah, that...
Me too. Like, I hear you. Then you have that instant connection. So in some way, shape or form, I want to invite you to find a community where you feel like. They get me. I belong here. I'm seen. I'm heard. This just feels like home to me. So find that community in midlife. I honestly think that this is the best time of our life because we've done the most incredible thing ever, which is we've created a human and then raised them to be self-sufficient.
And we've worked, so we've saved some money, we have experience, we've got this worldly knowledge. And now it's time to put ourselves first and go do all the things you want to do. It just so happens that I love to travel. So I'm always going to be traveling. But that night might not be your jam. Find out what your jam is. Maybe your jam is pickleball because that's my jam too.
tennis is my jam but you understand what I'm saying it's like find that jam and there's a community in that jam because I have the most amazing tennis community like The most amazing ever and that's a part of What brings me joy and then when I travel I find a travel community like there's literally a
facebook group for solo travelers over 50. well god that's pretty specific and that's pretty much me so anytime i want to connect or share those ladies get the whole solo travel thing so go and find that community and if it's with me i want to invite you i want to welcome you in and say you're home everybody is welcome it doesn't matter what stage you're at in through this journey but i want you to
Come and experience it and know that anything is possible for you. It's not just like, now what? It's game over. It's like, no, I want you to think big. I want you to be creative. I want you to be excited about what's happening. Every single day you wake up.
you jump out of bed and can't wait to create more magic and live your big life like that's what midlife is it's a refresh it's a start over it's like a fresh beginning you can be create anything you want you could be anybody you want and that's what we support in this group so thank you for listening and I hope that I've inspired you to do something different but something that brings you a great amount of joy and makes you feel like
you belong like ah yes these people get me or this is what I'm meant to do or ah where has why haven't I done this sooner that's what they go like why didn't I just do this sooner it's so easy and trust me because i go to these things and i show up on my own and i'm just like what's the worst that could happen seriously if it's no good i can just leave and i don't know any of these people these are all like if i'm worried about they're just thoughts in my head and when you come in
in my group i help you to understand how you're creating these things for yourself by thinking and feeling on purpose if you want to live an amazing life no matter what age you are what stage you're at you want to be in charge of your brain that's where it all happens And as soon as you learn how to be like a rock star with your subconscious and your brain, anything is possible. Anything is possible.
I just wanted to share this because it was such a wonderful evening and there was such a deep connection with this woman I had never met.
only because of where she lived like that's the only reason where we had this deep connection where it was like and she spoke english i could understand everything she was saying and i could connect with all the all the things that she was talking about it was just so wonderful and i want this place mastering midlife membership to be that for you so hop on over and get in the group and let's get this party started
thank you for listening i hope you've enjoyed like if you're listening on the podcast i hope you've enjoyed the sounds of these beautiful crazy wild parrots because i'm just sitting in the park and it's just like magic happening around me and I was trying to imagine what it would be like if you can't actually see what's going on but if you're just listening and I feel like it would be quite beautiful. So I hope you enjoy.
okay i just wanted to add one more thing because when i was shooting that and that whole dog thing happened with the runner it happened again but it was a totally different experience and this is a small dog like not too small maybe it comes up to your knees but The first guy that was running, the dog came up like he was going to bite him. And the guy stopped. And then he was like kind of pissed off at the owner. And the dog was even more aggressive.
And then it happened like two minutes later, but the runner laughed and just kind of swatted the dog, like bent down and moved his hand in front of the dog's face because he wasn't afraid. And the dog just kind of.
lost interest and went away and the reason I wanted to share this with you is because the only difference between the thing was what the person was thinking their brain like the first guy was obviously afraid of dogs and i don't blame them because if a dog did that for me i would stop running and be like okay we're gonna fight but because i've been bit by dogs a couple times and it was not fun
But the other guy was thinking, oh, this stupid little dog, he's just, he's just, you know, trying to be tough. And he wasn't afraid. And the dog just instantly backed off and lost interest. But the reason I want to share it is because it was the same situation, but different perspectives of the situation. And that's life across the board is like something happens and it's neutral.
And it's whatever our perspective is. It's whatever we think about it that makes it good, bad, dangerous, safe, or otherwise. It's all an inside job in our brain.
and i just wanted to share that with you because it was just such a powerful experience okay chicas i'm back from my shop and i have one more thing to add about connection um there's always this gentleman that stands outside of the grocery store and asks for money and so i just anytime somebody does that i just introduce myself ask them what their name is how they're doing where they're from and start up a conversation and this gentleman turns out he's from ghana
and so i instantly have a connection with him because i lived in ghana for three months and as soon as i said that it was like oh the conversation just went off because there's that connection
Just like instantly. So everywhere I go, because I'm talking about connection and I'm looking for it and I believe that it's easy to connect with people. So... when i believe something i just see more of it the universe shows me more of it and so i'd wanted to share this with you because it's another example because this whole day i've been talking about connection
And it just keeps showing up everywhere. So it's interesting because tonight I'm going to play tennis and then to another meetup group, I think I'm just going to do back to back stuff. So because I'm on the connection bandwagon, it'll be fascinating to see. how many really cool connections I make tonight. I'm just going to keep the party going. Anyway, I wanted to share that with you in this episode because it's just so perfect. Thank you for listening. Always, always, always.
Love yourself first and have an amazing day.