Welcome to the Mastering Midlife podcast where we talk about all the crazy fun things that happen when you are a midlife mama. I'm your host, Heather London. Let's dig in. Hola chicas. Okay, story time. When I was in Valencia studying Spanish. I lived in a flat and there was five bedrooms. We all had our own bedroom and bathroom. And then we shared the kitchen and the living room. I really liked the flat and people were always coming and going. And I like that because I love meeting new people.
And one day I was going into the entrance of the building of the apartment and there was this gentleman coming out of, it looked like one of the doors on the main floor. And so an older gentleman. And so I held the door open for him and said, hola. And because I thought he was just like a local man that lived there. And he's he.
said to me in English, oh, I'm just looking for my apartment. So random because he hadn't spoken. So I just put on him that he was like a local senior citizen. And then he pulled out this piece of paper. And it had the same letterhead as the school that I go to. So I'm like, oh, I know the place that you're looking for. Is it this number? And he's like, I think so. And he was really slow with giving the information. And I just chalked that up to like.
i don't know he's a little bit older he's like a senior citizen and so i said oh i can show you where that place is and he was really early so you you're not supposed to check in until three o'clock because they need to clean it from the last person that just left but i think because he knew himself that he gave himself extra time to find the place to get lost to be confused and then he would
find it on time so he was literally just scouting it out so that when it came time for him to actually check in he knew where to go so i'm like oh that's smart thinking so i took him up to the apartment and i showed it to him and then he was thinking maybe i could leave some things here so i don't have to go back to my hotel with him and bring them back and i said oh you could probably leave them in the living room there
because they're going to come clean the room and then you can put them in your room after. But what I didn't realize was he was going to take everything out of his backpack and just put it there. So I thought he was going to leave his whole...
bag which would make sense the cleaners would see that and be yeah whatever but he took out some books and some food and so and i didn't know that because i didn't i left before i saw what he was doing anyway So I left and then he ended up checking in and he said, oh, did you see?
where my stuff went I'm like I don't know what what stuff are you talking about and he's like I put a couple books and some food there and so what happened was because it was just random books and food the cleaners took it because they thought that it was left over from the last person so like I felt bad because
No, this guy doesn't have his... Well, the books they just put on a shelf, but the food they took because they're like, they don't want to waste it. So that was his kind of welcome. But it was funny because when he checked it, like he's... he was a short man i'm gonna guess like five feet tall and his suitcase was huge like almost as tall as he was and and
Turns out he's from the United States. He's from California. So we're neighbors. And a lot of people at the school were European, which makes sense because it's so easy for the Europeans just to hop on a flight and boom. They're in a new country studying a language. So it was awesome. So it was nice to refreshing to have, you know, somebody from North America there. And once he checked in.
He, you know, I would see him every once in a while and he would walk to class. He would leave a lot earlier because it takes him a lot longer. And it took him a long time to kind of... you know, figure stuff out. But I'm like, damn, he's doing it. This is so good. So I was very inspired. This is Steve. So Steve has now inspired me. And I thought I would just chat him up a little bit. And here's... my philosophy my philosophy is everybody is welcome so no matter what i'm doing
I'll invite everybody. And if people want to come, that's great. And if they don't want to come, that's great. I don't care how old they are. I don't care what language they speak, where they're from. And I especially invite the people who are flying solo. So in my world, I invite everybody to everything because I just feel life is more awesome when everybody's included and you're making new friends.
So I was, I would see Steve every once in a while, but he wasn't really going to the functions. Now at the school, they have a ton of functions. Every day there's something to do and there's parties that you can go to. and you can stay out all night and dance or there's an older group uh you know for like the over 30s into 40s where instead of going partying we go for dinner or go to a museum or stuff like that so
There was always something to do, but I noticed that I wasn't really seeing Steve out and about a lot. So I would invite him every time I went somewhere, I would invite him to go with me. And one night I was going to go to a church. It's always a church. It's a church. It's a museum. So I was going to go to a church. And I invited somebody else from the class, this new guy.
And so we went there and had a really wonderful time. And so he and I walked there and it was really interesting because I noticed that. when we're walking together like the sidewalks in Spain are so narrow and there's bikes and cars and and when we were walking together it was good but as soon as I if I stopped and let him go ahead to let somebody
He would stop walking and I'm like, oh, that's interesting. I wonder why he's doing that. That's strange. But anyway, we went to the church and on the way to the church, I got to know him. better just listening to him talk and asking him questions about himself and he's had such a good sense of humor and i don't think he'd had the opportunity to be able to show his sense of humor before but
just like a really genuinely awesome person. And so now I'm falling in love with Steve. He's just like such a good human. And then on the last week, He was in a conversation class. He took conversation the whole time. Now, he studied Spanish a long time ago, and he just wanted to learn, like, to be able to have a conversation with somebody. So those words are in there somewhere. It takes them a while to pull it out. It's slow.
just like me right but when i saw him in the conversation class um i think we were introducing ourselves to the whole class and what you do is you say where you're from and how old you are and that and it turns out that steve is 82. I'm like, what? Steve, dude. And all of a sudden, I just loved him even more. I just wrapped my heart around him. I'm like, damn, because I'm thinking of my parents who are 85.
Now, I want you to keep in mind, my parents have said, like, they've aged quickly in a short period of time over the last year, and they have said, 83, everything changes. Like, 83, because they're... you know, athletic, they're in shape, my mom goes swimming three times a week, my dad goes golfing all the time, used to play pickleball, like walking, all the things, they eat healthy, they do all the things, so they're in really, really good shape and healthy, and they said when 83 hit,
something happened and our body started to break down and our memory started to go a little bit and all that. So when Steve told me he was 82, I'm like, I think he's confused his numbers because he, you know, his words, his Spanish words weren't. he didn't have a lot of Spanish words. So I'm like, I think he's confused his number. And then later I was chatting with him and I'm like, Steve, tell me the truth.
are you really 82 or did you like mix up the numbers? And he's like, oh yeah, I'm 82. I was like, damn, I can't even. Like, I can't even. This guy is in a foreign country. And it's not like he was from France. He was from North America. This is a huge trip. And he really doesn't speak Spanish. And he's figuring all this stuff out on his own. And he's just making it up as he goes along. I'm like, wow, I was so impressed. And so from that moment on, I made it my life's mission to...
help him whenever possible in whatever way he needed, only if he needed it. Because I remember this expression, there's three different types of people. So this is how the saying goes. I'm probably going to mess it up. Who cares? That's what I do. So say there is an old person that drops something or there is a blind person that drops their cane or needs help. There's three types of people.
First of all, there's the person that will just help right away That's just what they do and then the second person won't help at all and Then the third person will wait to see if the person actually wants or needs help so i like to i like to i was the person who would jump in all the time but in steve's case i'm like i'm only going to help him with as much as he needs. And inviting him out to everything was key because he wanted to go out.
it's harder for him to figure out the technology. So maybe he didn't know what was going on or how to get into the WhatsApp to find out what's going on or to figure out where the place is. And so I just invited him everywhere and I'm like, I'll come knock on your door. when I'm leaving and we can walk together. And every single time his door was open, he was waiting. He didn't want to miss me. And we walked together and had the best conversation. And he was...
figuring out how to get places without understanding how to use Google Maps. Now, I'm going to admit, like, I like to think that I know what I'm doing when it comes to Google Maps, but I just... kind of make it up as I go but I've learned a ton since I started traveling again and he had no idea how to use it so he was like using that big brain of his to figure out like
logically how this would work and street names and like you would back in the in the day and he was getting to places and it took him longer and now I could see why he showed up half a day ahead of checking in because he's just sussing the place out so he can show up on time and so we went through this whole because he's he asked me how do you get to the beach I'm like oh just
plug it into google maps and it will show you exactly how to get there it'll show you where to walk to to get the train the tram what tram to take How many stops? And I just started showing him this. And he's like, whoa, he blew his mind. He had no idea. And so I tried to give him as much information without overloading him.
and say okay well enjoy your day at the beach trusting that he's going to make it to the beach and back and so he totally made it to the beach and back but a lot of it was him just figuring stuff out because the technology is intense like it For somebody who's never used it, it's a lot. I know for my mom, the second I say anything about technology, she gets frustrated and she's a very calm, relaxed person. But as soon as we talk about that, she just gets super frustrated.
And I understand because when I'm figuring stuff out, like when I was hanging out with Santa's, I'm like, why won't this work? Like I followed all the steps and then he just comes over and touches one button or whatever and it works. And I'm like, but yeah, I did that. Like I just did that.
And so, oh my gosh, it's so funny. So I can relate. I can relate to the way my mom is feeling. So it's my mission in life is to make technology my friend so that it can help me. So when I'm 82 and traveling, I can find my way anywhere. But Steve was doing it without any of that. And so, and then I found out that he was a retired doctor. So, you know, he spent his life helping people and caring for people. And it just such a lovely person.
And I swear to you, I told as many people as I could what his age was because I feel like... as we get older we get overlooked like when you're a woman in midlife you kind of like disappear into nothingness and you don't really exist anymore like you did before and I feel like that in certain cultures seniors are like that too
And for Steve, I just felt like people don't realize how amazing this is, what he's doing. And so I told as many people, I would just drop it in the conversation. I'm like, yeah, do you know that Steve is 82? And the second I said that, everybody's thought about him or excitement about him changed. It was a game changer for him. I think he should have just told everybody right, but he's not like that. He's just doing his thing.
I'm like, damn, how do you even get insurance when you're traveling at 82? Because in Canada, it would be really super expensive. He's like, no, no problem. And it was funny because I was telling one of my kids, I was telling Santos about. Steve and you know, my new hero. And he's like, yeah, but mom makes sense. Doesn't it? Because if you're 82 and you know, you don't know, like none of us know when our last day is, but if you're 82, you know, it's.
it's you know around the corner right wouldn't you want to go out like living large like wouldn't you want to do that i know i would and i'm like yeah you're right like what's the worst that could happen you could die well
You're going to die anyway. You don't want to be sitting in a nursing home. You want to be in Spain, eating tapas and drinking vermouth when that happens, right? And so... um on the last night we i went out with all my friends and we had dinner of course steve came and then the next day when i was just packing and i just wanted to go see
One more thing before I left. One more beautiful building before I left. And I saw Steve sitting out on the patio with all the other people eating his sardines. And I'm like, oh. He was sitting by himself in the sunshine. He had the sardines that we had the night before. He's like, these were really good. I had to reorder them. And I just thanked him for hanging out with me and sharing his time with me. And he said, you know, Heather, this...
I have to thank you because you just allowed me to do things that I wouldn't normally have done. If you hadn't have invited me everywhere and taken me everywhere, I probably wouldn't have done those things and shown me Google Maps and, you know, just really...
made it a different experience for any I just oh my heart because he was just so genuinely grateful and thankful I'm like steve you know you have no idea no idea how inspirational you are and how how much you've added to my trip and my journey and i thanked him for that because it's just like The kindest person ever. And so that's my Steve story. And he just, anytime I think.
This is tough or I don't know what I'm doing or how am I gonna figure this out? I just think of Steve and he just gets it done He just does it because he has these thoughts that that's just possible for him If you have these thoughts in your brain that it's possible, then it's possible. So a good indication of what you're thinking is by checking your results.
Now, if you're an 82-year-old guy taking Spanish lessons in Spain, then I'd say your results are pretty good. And your mindset is pretty focused on, I could do anything. Like, this is not a problem. What? When you're like, what are you doing here? Oh, it's not a thing for him. It's not a thing. You know, he did overpack though. I got to talk to him about that because he was literally only here for two weeks and he had a suitcase the size of him.
But I guess you know better to be prepared than not and I Encouraged him to use uber to get to the airport on the way home now I've sent him a couple messages in WhatsApp, but he doesn't know how to use WhatsApp. So I haven't heard back from him. So I'm hoping that he used Uber and he got to the airport and it opened up a whole new world of transportation for him. That's my...
That's my wish for him. And I know, I know that even if he didn't use Uber, because when I was using Uber to get to the airport, the car couldn't come right to your door because it's very different here. So you have to find like a... monument like you have to find an address that they can easily find and park in front of
And so I thought, oh, this might be confusing for him. So I sent him a message like, Steve, you've got to find a big landmark and make that where they pick you up. So because I'm like, oh, if I'm struggling with this. I wonder if it's going to be hard for Steve. So I don't know how hard it was for him to use the Uber, but I do know that he's inspired me and he has a place in my heart and anything is possible. And if you're going to...
live your life, why not do it in the biggest way possible? Because what's the worst that can happen? Like what is the worst that can happen? I mean, Steve, his mission was a success. I'm like, why do you want to learn Spanish? Like, what's your purpose for doing this? He's like, I just want to be able to talk to people in Spanish. And he's like, do you think that they'll give me a certificate when I'm done this, my classes?
I just won a certificate saying that I accomplished it. I'm like, oh my God, you were just the sweetest thing ever. Anyway, I know I was supposed to circle back to something. But I can't remember what it was because that's just the way my brain's working today. So I would invite you to be open to all the people and all the possibilities of those people and holding space for everybody and including everybody.
when it works for you. You don't have to do it if it's not working for you. But when you do stuff like that, you get to meet amazing people and to tell inspirational stories, like of my friend Steve, 82-year-old Steve. traveling to Spain on his own to learn Spanish for two weeks just because he wants to be able to have a conversation with Spanish-speaking people. Oh, my God. Love this guy.
Do you have people like that in your life? Or maybe, maybe you are that person for other people. You never, you never know. But I just want to leave you with this. If Steve can do this, you can do it too. Anything is possible, my friend. Remember, if you can think it in your brain, you can create it in your life. Anything is possible. So what... amazing things are you going to do today thank you for listening always always always love yourself first and have an amazing day