Welcome to the Mastering Midlife podcast where we talk about all the crazy fun things that happen when you are a midlife mama. I'm your host, Heather London. Let's dig in. Hola chicas. Okay, today I wanted to talk about my day yesterday because I've had some time and I've recovered. I had a really tough day yesterday and I'm sure that you can relate because there's days when it's just tough and it seems like if one thing happens then yeah okay I get it but when
other things happen like on top of each other and on top of each other, then it can be very overwhelming. So here was what happened yesterday. I went to my class. My class is like over three hours long, learning Spanish. And I have a new teacher, an awesome teacher, but she's from a different area than the other teachers. And guess what? It's harder to understand what she's saying just because of her accent. And so...
I was hyper focused and my brain was on overdrive. And I felt that after, you know, like three and a half hours of teaching, I'm like, I just don't understand what she's saying. So it makes it harder to understand the lesson because every day we're learning something new. So not only are we learning something new, but they only teach in Spanish and I'm just not understanding her actual words. So I'm just kind of faking it as I go and I'm reading the words on the sheet.
And I'm just struggling really to understand. And so that in and of itself can be very deflating. And that's a long day. Okay, whatever that happens. But that wasn't like the part that really got me. Then after that, I went to tennis lessons, which is also great. But I don't know.
I felt like, like the coach, you know, she's good. Like she's a very good tennis player, but maybe not the best at giving different direction in how to do something. Like it's always the same. You're doing this wrong. You're doing this wrong. You're doing this wrong. Right. And if somebody repeatedly does something wrong, you want to say it in a different way because maybe what they're saying isn't landing, but English isn't her first language.
that's a thing right like she has limited things that she can say because of it so and it was probably because of the crappy day I had in my class that I kind of entered with that energy see what I'm saying so I I am like building on it myself because she's the same instructor that I've had the last three times she hasn't changed and then on the
kind of icing on the cake was when I came back I was tired like it's an hour and a half and it's intense like we're working hard so I love that part of it but when I came back to my flat the door was open like it's a there's I don't know like six floors and a lot of flats a lot of apartments and you know they have a sign on the inside the door saying always make sure the door is closed and all that kind of stuff
And so when I came home, the door to the outside was wide open. And so like a good flatmate, I closed the door. And as I closed the door, I saw like the kind of like frosted glass. And I could see that somebody was at the door. And then they started like yelling. And so I opened the door and it was a guy with a bunch of chairs. And I'm like, oh, he left the door open because...
This is what happens. You're like across the street and it's not a street. It's just like little cobblestones where you can only drive your car there if you have a permit, like if you're an Uber or you live there. And so there's not a lot of cars that go there, but bikes and all that kind of fun stuff. And right across, like it's just a narrow street. There's this little hole in the wall, which everything is just like, there's just a door and you don't know what's behind the door. But in this case, it's like a restaurant that opens up on certain days.
You just don't even know is there until all of a sudden there's a bunch of tables and chairs in front of our apartment and people are having lunch and coffee. And it's like, wow, that just appeared out of nowhere. Anyway, this was the guy from across the street, his restaurant. And he was, I guess he stores the chairs on Thursday evenings in a storage space in our apartment across the street. I mean, I don't know this, but.
i was like oh sorry i didn't i didn't know you left the door open we're always supposed to keep it closed and of course he doesn't speak english because we're in spain and he was really mad at me like even without understanding his words he was really mad and he was saying stuff and i just said lo siento like i'm really sorry and and my body language and you know my mannerisms they were just like oh i'm really sorry i didn't know i didn't know
Sign says always keep the door closed. I thought maybe somebody accidentally left it open. So of course there is something, you know, lost in translation or the lack of communication, but he was just so mad, so mad. And that was just kind of the icing on the cake for me because I felt like, damn, I just can't do anything right today. And, and it's funny because then I went grocery shopping and I got chips. I got like my junk food because I was like,
I'm going to eat my feelings but as I was doing that I was kind of processing and you know people were going out that night to a bar to practice their comprehension so practice speaking to other people in Spanish and I just didn't have it in me because I was exhausted and I felt like I didn't understand anything anyway and I was tired from tennis and that guy yelling at me so I'm like there's no way in hell that I'm going.
And so I thought I'd just stay at home and study and eat my feelings. But it occurred to me because once I kind of like had some time to decompress and think about it and let it go and process it, I realized that the only reason that that happened was because as it was happening, when the first thing happened, I was making it mean something.
bad about me. I was making it mean like I'm not learning quick enough, or I don't know what I'm doing, or I'm bad at languages. And then I carried that energy to the tennis lesson. And then I carried that energy home. So of course, if I'm thinking that the world is against me, and I can't do anything right, that the universe is going to be like, okay, you're just
we always just have your back. We're always on your side. Like the universe is set up so that you're always going to win. We're always going to give you what you're asking for. And so if I wanted to have a better day, I would have cut my losses after the class and done my work, like the work that I coach other people on so that I didn't take that into my tennis lesson, but I didn't do that. And so it just compounded, which is hilarious when I think about it because
We're all human and we get caught up in the emotions of it. And when I have the belief that the universe always is supporting me and it's always giving me what I'm asking for, then the solution is obvious. The solution is that I want to be really conscious and really aware of what I'm asking for so that I'm getting what I want. So I'm consciously choosing.
how I'm thinking and what I'm feeling. And if everything is energy and I'm giving off this negative energy, like attracts like. So I'm going to attract that negative energy to prove me right because the universe will always prove you right. Your brain will always prove you right. So if I'm thinking this is hard and it's a bad place, then I'm going to be looking for all of that that proves that I'm right. Yeah, look how hard this is. This guy is like really...
mad at me look how hard this is I can't play tennis and I know how to play tennis the one thing that I feel like I could do in any language and so my brain will look for all the things that prove that right but the beautiful part is is that I'm in control of all the things that are going on in my brain my thoughts are just sentences in my brain that I've created and so when I'm
conscious when I'm really deciding to create something amazing for myself I'm going to be like look what's happening in the outside world because the outside world is just a reflection of what's going on inside and if all this hardness and toughness is showing up for me then I don't want to change those people I want to go inward and be like okay what do I get to think instead what do I get to think instead
And then create that energy because if everything is energy and there's this negative energy going on and I'm attracting the negative energy to myself and I don't want to do that, then I flip it upside down and I start to create the positive energy. How do I do that? With the thoughts that I'm thinking.
So for example, if I'm having trouble in Spanish class, instead of thinking, oh, I'm just not getting it or I don't understand, I want to change that to like, oh, I know so much more than I did last week or when I started. And I do understand those words. I'm understanding more words. And if I ask my teacher just to talk a little slower, then guess what? I can understand. And because I'm a student in a Spanish school,
I'm expecting that I'm actually learning and I don't know. That's why I'm there. And isn't it wonderful that I have such nice, kind teachers that want to support me where I'm at. And then if I'm not understanding, they want to talk a little slower so that I do understand, so that I do get it. And then I feel supported and I feel excited because I know that if I'm thinking that everybody's on my side and that this is
easier for me to learn and I'm learning way more than I would if I was just doing Duolingo at home and then I start to get excited about it and I can see the positive and because there was a day uh last week maybe where I was like I get this like just all of a sudden I have these flashes of understanding and when I have that it feels so good and so that's what I'm recalling that I
do know way more than when I started, which is amazing. And then when I go to my tennis lesson, I apply that same thing. Like I'm excited to go and learn new things. I'm going to meet new people. And one of the guys there is from China. He's there for like a whole month or two and every day he's practicing. And the coach told me that he's actually a trainer, a coach in China. And so I started chatting with him more about
you know, how I could get better and, and what he was noticing about my shots and, and how I'm holding my rack and all that. And so I learned a ton from him and he was such, so kind and nice. And he was happy to share because he's a coach and he likes to help people. That's what coaches do. They help people no matter what it makes, you know why? Because it makes them feel good to help people. And I'm like, Oh, this guy's got my back. And I learned so much from that.
And then with the other guy, it's understanding like, oh yeah, I could see why he'd be mad. And how can I help him? How could I be more aware? How can I like just be more helpful in general? And there's a guy on my street or whatever, my little cobblestone area who talks to me every day. And he's so kind and so nice. And he has this little...
store it's just a little again this little hole in the wall and when he's not there I don't even know where the store was because they all pull their shutters down and I'm like it just disappeared like it was never even there but every day and he knows that I'm learning Spanish because I had a conversation with him and he's like you just have to practice by talking with your friends because he does not speak English and so when I talk to him he'll kindly correct me like I'll be like buenos dias he's like buena
Or bueno, buen día. And I'm like, ah, buen día. Or I'll say buenas tardes. And he's like, no. It's not until after you eat that it's in the afternoon.
And so he's just kind and nice. And the other day I was in a hurry because after my class, I have to hurry home, eat really quick, change, and then get on the tram and get to my lesson. So I was hurrying and I didn't have a lot of time, but he was there and he just loves talking to people. He's very social. And he's like, Hey, Chica, I have something for you in Spanish. And I'm like, Oh, what does he say? I know that word. And I was figuring it out.
And then he gave me this book and it's this huge book in Spanish. And he's like, this is for you. It's free. I want you to take it and I want you to read it. And I'm like, oh my God, that is so kind of you, but I can't, this is like too much for my brain. Cause that was the day that I was, my brain was an overload. And it was, um, I can't even remember what it was. It was a, it was a literary classic. And I'm like, not only is it a huge, massive book, but it's not.
regular English when it's in because this is in Spanish but even in English it's not regular English so I had to say like oh you're so kind but thank you I just my brain can't handle it but he was just he's just such a nice kind person like and he wants to talk and he wants to help me so when I'm looking for that I find him all the time he just shows up so the reason I'm sharing this with you is because I want to offer this up in your life because
For me, it just happened all at once. Sometimes it has to happen in grandiose style fashion for you to see what's going on.
But I want to offer that most of us, every day we're doing a little bit of it. So you know how I talk about if you want to achieve big things, you have to be consistent with doing that one little thing every single day and then you'll get there. But it can work in the negative too. Like if we're having these little negative thoughts that we're not aware of every single day, then they compound into midlife is hard or I don't know how to...
help my body or hormones are crazy or menopause is insane. But if we can recognize that that's what we're creating for ourself, if we have the awareness, if you want to change anything, the first step is awareness, the awareness that you want to make a change, that you don't like what's going on, that you're in charge of it. And then as soon as you have that, then you can flip it on its head and say like, what do I get to think or do or say or be every single day? Just
every day consistently in order to create something else for myself. So if every day I'm practicing Spanish, I can't not get better. It's impossible. I can't not get better. And, and like I said, after talking with my son, I locked in, I'm like, I'm here to study. So I added on a conversation class and it's like, let's go, let's do all the things. But from an energy and mindset of, of like, these people are here to support me. They want me to succeed. And when I'm living
in spain taking lessons like i'm just listening when i'm on the metro i'm listening to everybody around me which is easy to do because here people are so lively and loud and talking all the time like that's just the passion of the country it's so beautiful so when you're on the tram everybody's talking on their phones like they're everybody's included in the conversation and so i can practice just by listening
just by listening or listening to when they talk about the stops on the train. And so everything is a learning opportunity from a place of excitement and curiosity.
And so how can you incorporate this into your midlife experience? Instead of it being hard, how could it be exciting? How could it be this opportunity for you to create the best life you've ever had or the best part of your life or to be in love with this part of your life, creating things that you never even thought were possible for yourself?
If you have those like dreams, I always say this, if you can dream it, if it's in your brain, if it pops into your brain or you can think it in your brain, you can absolutely create it here in your life. Otherwise, if you couldn't do it, it just wouldn't show up in your brain. So what things are in your brain that you're thinking, oh, that's not for me. I could never do that because that's what we want to do.
You want to go for it. You want to go big. What's the worst that could happen? You're in midlife. You've raised your kids. Now it's you time. It's go time. It's like, you don't want to be having these negative thoughts just in the background. Hmm. This, this like little noise in the background running the show. And if you're not living a life that you love, like that you love in all areas, then that's what's happening.
And for some people, they can't see the forest for the trees. Like, for example, I'm a coach. This is what I do. And yet the other day I wanted to eat my feelings. And so when I'm trained to do this and I still revert back to my old ways, sometimes it's like, it's hard. And so how can you do this? That's why coaching is so valuable. And I'm building this community of like-minded. I have these.
big ideas, really big ideas that are, that I'm slowly creating to come into fruition. And when they come into my brain, I'm like, Ooh, that's a big idea. So if, but I'm like, I can do that for sure. I can do that. And so I've creating, I've created, and I'm creating this community for connection because I feel like that's what midlife women need the most. And you can come into my community and you can achieve whatever you want, whether it's
a healthier body, whether it's a new job or a whole new entire life or a better perspective about yourself or creating that big dream that you never thought was possible, but it's always in your brain and it never leaves your brain. Then you want to do this by having a coach because I can see what's going on in your brain and you can't see the forest for the trees because it's the expression like
using the same thinking that caused the problem never works because that's how you got in the problem in the first place so when you're using the same brain to try to create something new it'll never work but but when you really understand how your brain works and that you can change it and here's how it's super simple just do this consistently every single day and it's different for everybody everybody's issue is different
Because why? Because we had different experiences growing up. We had different parents. We lived in different cities, different schools, different all of it. That all contributes to who we are today. But what I want to offer is that you can erase that. You could men in black that. You could etch a sketch that. You could totally erase that and start from scratch right here in this moment. It's totally possible. And from that place, you can create whatever you want. And that's why joining a group like my Mastering Midlife membership will help you do that.
because now you're surrounded by other women who are doing the same thing. And it's a super safe place. What the world needs now is more community because what's happening is the powers that be are trying to separate us. They're trying to deconstruct communities because they know that when people are in community, they can be powerful. They can live big lives. They can create big things. They can inspire many people. And for them, that's...
the worst thing that could ever happen. So I really, really believe in building a community for midlife women so that we can support each other and get to where we want to go. So if this sounds like something that is right up your alley, like, I've been waiting for this. I just need, you know, this group. I just need other people. I just need to know where to start, how to get started. This is the group for you. And I want you to take what we talked about today and ask yourself, would
How, what is my brain telling me and how can I change it into a positive? How can I change the energy of what I'm thinking? Because our thoughts create our results because my thought creates how I feel. And from that feeling, I take action and that action gets me result. And so if you want different results, you want to change your thought.
And come and see me and I can help you with this because this is how we create an amazing midlife. And I'm super excited because I got big things on the horizon and I want you to be a part of it. And I want you to also have big, crazy, awesome things on the horizon that excite you every time you get out of bed. You're like, I can't wait to slay this day and create more magic for myself. Thank you for listening. Always, always, always love yourself first and have an amazing day because
You're in charge of creating that for yourself every single day. Hola, chicas. I just wanted to do an update because after I recorded the podcast, I went out and I went to this huge market where there's tons of people and everything is really busy. And I go to the same paella place and buy paella for a couple of days. It's really delicious. But anyway, I spoke to her completely in Spanish. She understood what I said. She talked back to me in Spanish. And today is like a...
beautiful, gorgeous, sunny day. So everything feels good. It's the first time I've been able to wear like short sleeves. I've been cold here the whole time. It's like 20 degrees today and everything has changed with this new day. Why? Because I changed my thoughts, because I changed my energy. So we don't...
even need to figure it out we just want to know that we have the ability to change anything in any moment with how we show up what we think how we feel all of that and that's all in our control and things can change in the blink of an eye and you don't even need to be able to explain it just know that you are in charge hasta luego chicas