What is life really like in an over-55, active adult community? In this episode, Dr. McCoy responds to a listener's request for the pros and cons of such communities and how to make the decision whether to move to one or stay put in retirement.
What makes the difference between a love relationship that lasts and one that falters? There are many factors, of course, but tender loving care in maintaining a relationship can be a key to its thriving through the years. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses specific steps you can take to make your love relationship or a loving friendship grow stronger through the years.
What do you do when a friendship starts to change? How do you know if it's toxic -- and what can you do if it is? Is walking away your best or only option? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the signs that you may be in a toxic friendship, what to do and when to walk away.
What do you do when you love your partner but aren't feeling quite so "in love" anymore. Does this mean that it's time to move on or that you're reaching a new level of intimacy? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the differences between feeling in love and loving your partner as is day after day. While some lament the passing of that relationship phase of delight and fantasy and hope, she points out that truly loving another can be much better than any fantasies.
Why are so many people in tears as they watch the Fred Rogers documentary "Won't You Be My Neighbor?" Perhaps some of the tears come from the realization of how much we need to learn in this age of divisiveness and distractions. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the essential life lessons we can learn from examining the life of this gentle, loving man.
The joy of finding new love after being widowed or divorced can be tempered by conflict with adult children. They may resent the newcomer, be fearful of how they will fit into your new life, have a strong attachment to the way things were. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses what to do when your new happiness puts you at odds with your adult children and how to make peace.
It's a natural cycle of life, but sometimes catches us by surprise: the time when we turn to the babies of our youth for advice, comfort and support as we feel an autumn chill. As we reach midlife and beyond, we begin to pass the torch to the next generation. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the emotional aspects of this transition, the challenges and the joys, with her own examples and inviting listeners to share their own.
Like earthquake fault lines, relationship fault lines lie submerged in deep but largely unexpressed feelings of anger, resentment, disappointment, distrust and disillusionment. In this episode, Dr. McCoy talks about how these can be a threat to relationships and how to prevent these from happening.
Experiencing the loss of peers is a particularly poignant part of midlife and beyond. With some of these special people, we lose not only a treasured friend but also a part of our own history. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses this difficult aspect of aging and pays a special tribute to Susan Ann Protter, her long-time literary agent and a singular force of nature, who passed away recently.
This episode is a review of the book "Prayer Wasn't Enough: A Convent Memoir" by Dee Ready. While obviously Catholic in nature, this book may be of interest to a larger audience as a coming of age story. It is a story with which so many of us can identify: dreaming a youthful dream that doesn't turn out quite the way one had hoped. We've all experienced that. Sometimes the dream can become a nightmare. Dee Ready's story traces her path from youthful idealism to disappointment, anguish and with t...
These days, whenever one of you says "I love you!" does it sound a little rote, a little stale? Are there other things you can say that will give renewed emphasis to your feelings of love and help your partner, life companion or dear friend feel even more cherished? In this episode, Dr. McCoy talks about five alternatives to "I love you" that can bring extra caring, safety, intimacy and joy to your relationship.
Want to improve your relationship? Start feeling closer to your spouse? Many people think that making things better means the other person changing or hammering out agreements together. Sometimes, though, quiet, subtle changes you make in your own behavior without big announcements can make a significant difference. In this episode, Dr. McCoy describes five quiet strategies for making a difference in your life together.
In this special edition of "Living Fully", Dr. McCoy discusses suicide: what to do if someone you love is depressed, even suicidal, or how to help yourself in the wake of a loved one's suicide.
We all live with ghosts of the past -- whether from childhood experiences, trauma or abuse or from the impact of unhappy relationships later on in life. These can impact our lives in many ways from our self-image to our ability to connect and commit to others. In this episode, Dr. McCoy talks about how to overcome or learn to live with these ghosts from the past, how to reconcile our past with our present and find new beginnings.
Love and intimacy are not constant but recurring between times of distance or the busyness of everyday life. And too many couples panic when their ardor seems to cool and wonder if this means they don't belong together. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the natural cycles and rhythms of an intimate relationship, how not to panic during times of distance and appreciate anew falling in love again ...and again.
As we age, some of us develop the habit of checking out the obituary page in the local newspaper. At first, we might look primarily at the ages and, when noted, cause of death. As the ages become uncomfortably close to our own, we may find ourselves reading about another's life and, in some instances, finding unexpected inspiration. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses a particularly inspiring obituary she read recently -- for Velma Elizabeth Coffin Kwart, M.D. -- Dr. Beth for short -- who had a...
Most people crunch numbers and seek out financial advisors in their pre-retirement years. Many dream of relocating to a warmer climate and closer community where living might be less expensive. But what about the emotional aspects of your new life? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the realities of retirement and how important it is to examine your priorities, your plans to replace your job with new passions and interests. She talks about the phases of retirement: the honeymoon phase, the set...
What do you do when an adult child makes an unreasonable demand for your money, your time or other resources and threatens estrangement, no contact with grandchildren or even suicide if you don't comply? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses how to deal with such emotional blackmail in ways that can benefit your children, grandchildren and your own pocketbook and peace of mind.
In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the importance of mindfulness in our lives, taking time to notice small, special moments that can add immeasurably to our daily joy.
Do you have the blended/extended family holiday blues that are most common when those you love most may not love each other? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses what to do when holiday celebrations of family togetherness are minefields for discord, disrespect, conflict and rejection. She discusses ways you can help to make more enjoyable family gatherings happen.
We all have our own thoughts and dreams about what it might mean to live our bliss. In this episode, Dr. McCoy tells the story of Marta Beckett, the Broadway dancer from New York who became the legendary Ballerina of Death Valley. She had long dreamed of having her own one-woman show on a permanent stage and found her bliss when a flat tire stopped her and her husband in Death Valley. While getting the tire fixed, she discovered an abandoned building that she envisioned as a theatre -- and the r...
Sometimes reconciliation with an estranged loved one just isn't possible. What then? In this episode, Dr. McCoy talks about what to do when there's nothing to be done. Among these: grieving for what happened and what might have been; forgiving yourself and the other person;accepting that some days will be harder than others;surrounding yourself with love and, finally, knowing that your pain does not define you. Dr. McCoy discusses how to navigate all these steps and how to find peace with what i...
Estrangement from a loved one is painful every day of the year, but the pain can be particularly sharp during the holidays. In this episode, Dr. McCoy talks about this pain and how to reconnect with a loved one or, failing that, how to deal with feelings of hurt, disappointment, loneliness and shame, as other families seem to share such joy.
As time goes by, as we grow and change, the nature of our class reunions can change. We may have new insights into how we've grown with the years, the wisdom of letting go of what no longer matters, the value of warm reconnections and the blessing of love that has thrived and matured through the years. In this episode, Dr. McCoy shares insights, reflections and surprises that came from her own recent 50th college reunion at Northwestern University.
Why do people cry at weddings? From happiness as well as sadness? When feelings and life are so full? Or when they feel hopeless and alone? In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses all kinds of tears and reasons we shed them. She also discusses the therapeutic value of tears that may extend beyond a release of stress hormones. The fact is, there are times when we need to cry for our own health and well-being. And that old saying about real men not crying? From the wisdom of the ages, we hear that te...
The conflicts and fears may center on you or your spouse going deaf or not engaging in enough self-care or getting alarmingly forgetful. These are the emotional ghosts and goblins of older age: decline, disease, death, the fear of losing each other. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses how to hear and how to deliver words of concern and how to cherish your life as it is today without letting fears for tomorrow come between you and those you love most.
What are your most treasured life coincidences and blessings? Perhaps it's a special friendship that came from an accidental pairing on a school or work assignment; perhaps it was a chance meeting that led to lifelong love. In this episode, Dr. McCoy talks about these chance relationships with staying power that impact our lives so much. And she memorializes a special friendship with Elizabeth Canfield, a social activist, health educator and Holocaust survivor, who died recently. She reflects on...
Making a habit of kindness not only brightens the days of strangers, family and friends alike, but it can also make a positive difference in our own lives and feelings. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses how we can make kindness a habit, what specific things can help and the impact this can have on the lives of others.
There is nothing like money to spark family feuds and emotional divides and some money mistakes can lead to ongoing conflict between parents and their adult children. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses the five most common money mistakes parents make with suggestions on how to avoid these and why doing so can lead to improved relationships with adult children.
Whether you're a frazzled bride or groom facing the disapproval of parents or adult children or a parent contending with a Bridezilla with expensive tastes or a divorced parent wondering whether to issue an ultimatum about your attendance at your child's wedding if your ex and his new spouse attend, there are ways to cut the drama. In this episode, Dr. McCoy discusses how to deal with disagreements, obnoxious wedding behavior, straining budgets, and boycotts or ultimatums to ensure more harmony ...
