You're listening to the Life Coaching Secrets Podcast, episode 152. Did you know that life coaches are needed now more than ever? I'm Frank Macri, founder of Thriving Coach Academy. I've trained over a thousand coaches and helped them launch their own successful coaching businesses. If you want to make an incredible income and impact as a coach and have a lot of fun doing it, I'll show you exactly how to get it done. This is Life Coaching Secrets.
Hey coaches, I have a special gift for you today. I went into the vault of episodes from this show and I found one from three years ago that I am re-releasing for you right now. It is one of my favorite episodes I've created. and it will teach you how to take your dreams and make them into reality. Even if you've listened to all of the episodes on the podcast, this is one that's definitely good to hear again. So without further ado, here it is, and I hope you enjoy.
Hello coaches! How's it going? I am so pumped for this episode. I'm going to be sharing with you a brand new concept that I have created. And this concept is called vision force. And this will be so helpful for you and your clients to understand and apply whenever it is that you start thinking about changing your life for the better. So as I explain this, I want to first define what I mean by vision. What is a vision when we say that word?
A vision and a goal are usually two concepts that many coaches confuse or just think are the same thing. So to create the distinction, here's how I define it. A goal is something that you just want to do, something you want to do in life. A vision is... the life you want to live. So it's much more holistic than a goal. A goal is the thing you want to do. A vision is the life you want to live. So when you think about the life you want most,
or what a fulfilled, meaningful, purposeful life would look like, that is how we would define a vision. So we have visions at times, things that we... would like to experience overall in our life. And then we also have our current life that we are living right now. And that is just the current circumstances and situations that we
are having. And our current life also provides us with all of the things that we think we need to resolve before we think we can pursue our vision and create the life we actually want. And whenever we start to imagine a better life, we experience a constant push and pull between our current life situations and the vision of the life we most want to have.
So if you've ever imagined living a different life from the one you have now, maybe you've visioned having a new career or living in a new location or being in a new relationship. then you've probably experienced this push and pull, this kind of tug of war that happens between your head and your heart, right? So you can start to...
imagine a life you'd like to have and how your life can be. But then you might notice rather quickly, you get tugged right back down to quote reality, where your brain starts to tell you all of these. things of why you should stop, why you should wait. So we're going to talk about that in this episode. Now, if you don't feel like you really have a vision in your life, here are some questions to consider to help to imagine what...
it is you really do want most from life. So one question is, what do you want most in your life right now? If you could really get clear about that, take a moment to consider it, what do you want most in life right now? Another question to think about is if life were more purposeful, what would that look like? If your life were more purposeful, what would that look like? I also love the question if anything were possible.
What would be different in your life if anything were possible? And finally, if failure weren't an option, what would you do? If failure were not an option, what would you do? Now, these are all great questions for you to ask yourself. These are great questions to use with your clients as well to start imagining a vision. So by now, you probably have something in your mind. Now, people will often have their vision in their mind.
And they'll say, okay, yep, that's what I want. But here's the thing. Life doesn't give us what we want. It gives us what we are committed to. So it is not enough. to just want something and think that we are entitled to that. Once we want something that's new and different in our life, our brain will respond with... Something to the effect of, yeah, that's cute that you want that, but what about X, Y, and Z? What about all these other things that you have to resolve first?
Have you ever had something happen like that? Whenever you start to dream or imagine a better life, your brain kicks it right back to reality with all of the things. That it has you convinced that you need to resolve before you can honor your vision. Now, this experience is normal. It is normal. Everyone goes through it. But it is not a reason to let your visions go on pause.
So if you think about the vision of the life you most want to have right now, I really want blank. But here's where your brain comes in. But first, you need to take care of... blank. Like what is it that comes to mind when you think about filling in those blanks? I really want X, but I first need to take care of Y.
Now, this is just a sentence your brain is giving you. It doesn't mean you actually have to listen to it or focus on all the things your brain's telling you to focus on. It's just something good to start with and notice. So for many people, it might be, I really want...
to pursue this job that I feel called to pursue or really want to start my own business. But first, I should probably pay off my debt or finish school or finish raising my kids or finish taking care of my parents or finish saving up for retirement.
Maybe it's a combination of all those things or something similar to those. Those are just common ones that clients may come up with. It's like our brain saying, wait a second, you need to take care of all of these things first. Remember, you already have a life that you're living. You're very busy.
And sometimes our brains can be very convincing because they might start telling us things like, you already have a life you like. Why would you bother changing it? Why don't you just keep it the same? So this is where vision force comes in. This is where it needs to come in. You need to have force behind your vision and you need to force your vision into your current life in order to see it actualize.
So when I say force, I feel like I'm very in like a Star Wars mood right now saying force all the time, even though I do not know the Star Wars movies very well. So force, what do I mean by force? Force means pushing through resistance. So it's kind of like continuing to climb up or hike the mountain even when the wind is still blowing at your face. You've got to have force to keep yourself on track.
Now, vision force is saying and believing, I am going to do this and I'm going to do it now. I will make it work. Everything will be okay. Vision Force is not saying, yeah, I really want to do this, but I trust that the right time will come. Or yeah, I really want this so badly and I'll be totally ready to go in a year from now.
No, I hear this all the time. We can be so convinced that there's going to be the right time or the perfect time or the magical moment where we will suddenly feel prepared. But it doesn't happen. The only thing that happens when we delay our vision is life gives us more excuses to latch onto. It gives us more reasons to wait, more reasons to hold off, and more reasons to stay exactly where we are.
So why do people hold off on their visions? Even though it's something they deeply want so much for their life, they know it will fulfill them, why do people still hold off on their vision? One of the reasons why is because sometimes our minds trick us to think that there will be that perfect time when we feel ready. Here's the thing. There is no such thing as a perfect time.
There will always be situations in our lives that will grab at our attention, that will grab at our time, and grab at our money. So one of the things that I've realized is perhaps one of the most important keys to success. is to start before you feel ready. Start before you feel ready. Every single successful coach that I have trained, that I have witnessed, that I have studied
that I have learned from, they've all started before they felt ready. So are you thinking, I'm not ready? If only I had blank, I'll totally be ready to go. That might be your brain trapping you. Readiness comes after we start something. After we start something, then the readiness just kicks in. So this is where vision force needs to come in. Vision force looks like you telling yourself, I am willing to start before I feel ready.
Now another reason that people hold off in pursuing their visions is because they think that holding off is the responsible, the sensible, or the logical thing to do. So it's just better off to take care of all the other things in life. So the mind just says to wait and focus on those other things.
Now, here's what I say to that. The problem is not all the things that your brain is telling you that you should wait to finish first because our brain will always do that whenever we consider leveling up our lives. going to give us things that we should wait, reasons why we should wait. That is not a problem that that happens. The real problem is why we keep putting our visions on pause.
So there comes a point where you need to put your life on pause and your vision on play. Let me say that one more time, okay? There comes a point. where you need to put your life, meaning your current life situations, on pause and your vision on play. By this, I mean making decisions for the life you actually want instead of the life you currently have. So right now, are you making decisions for the life you want or the life you have? It's also a great coaching question.
How long have you been putting your vision on pause? Think about it like it's an actual movie. It's this epic movie. It's already been directed. It's written. It's produced. It's an epic movie with so much fun and adventure. And all you could ever want to experience happens in this movie. And you get to be the hero of it. And right now, you're holding onto the remote, but it's on pause. You can click play right now if you wanted to.
And you could let that movie get its airtime. You could experience it. The movie is already created. Really consider that. What if your vision is already written and produced? It's already guaranteed. It is already... done. You just need to hit play and let it unfold. But you can't do that if you are letting the busyness of your life and all the drama of your current life consume you.
So one example I have for this, when I realized the value of having vision force is when I was deciding on becoming a coach and getting coach training. My brain was giving me so much drama at the time. I was in my early 20s and my mind was telling me I should probably wait because I should probably focus on a full-time job first, build up a stable career. career for myself, get myself established, pay off all my student loan debt, save money, and be quote, responsible.
So I had all of these different things that my brain was telling me to hold off on. And there was this tug of war between the life that I was currently living and the vision for the life that I wanted to live. But I knew in my heart... I was called to be a coach. And I realized I'm worth betting on. What joy do we get in our life if we don't bet on ourselves?
And it was a really incredible moment because I remember as I was deciding whether or not to really pursue coaching, I was also offered a very comfortable full-time job. with a generous salary and lots of benefits. So I saw this split screen. I saw this split screen appear, two different versions of my life unfolding.
And one of those versions of my life on one side of the screen was the quote, responsible path, which was taking on this soul-sucking job that would pay the bills, that would pay off the debt. then I'd probably eventually buy a house and a car, but then I would accumulate a lot of debt from that, so I would still have more reasons why I would hold off on pursuing coaching.
And then I saw myself getting married and having kids. And of course, kids are going to require time and attention and also money. So I could also see myself in this split screen vision. I could see myself on this side of the screen. deciding to just continue waiting until the kids were raised and they're off to school. But then at that point, I could see that, you know, my parents would probably be in their 70s or 80s. I would need to make sure they're okay.
I probably need to spend a lot of time, money, and energy taking care of them. And then before I know it, my whole life would be slipping by. Now, maybe you see yourself at some point in that. at some of the phases that I described. Maybe your brain is telling you some of these things that you really should be focusing on, but you know deep down that you have a vision you haven't honored yet.
So on the other side of this split screen that I was seeing for myself when I was trying to decide on which path to take, I also saw the path of me pursuing coaching. And I saw myself going through that path making such a huge impact and a huge contribution to the planet. I saw myself also making an incredible income as a coach. And I decided...
I was going to bet on myself and go down that path. And that is exactly what manifested. Now, when I decided to become a coach, I did very irresponsible things. Quote, irresponsible. I didn't pay off my student loan debt first. I actually maxed out some credit cards to get proper coach training and mentorship. I wasn't saving money. I was pouring all of the money I was earning into my vision.
into my coaching training, into my business, so that I could really master the art and science and business of this. And even though I made all of these, quote, irresponsible decisions, I bet on myself. I let my vision pull me forward. I honored in my heart what I felt called to do. And now, because my coaching business has become so successful, debt is not an issue for me. I can afford whatever I want. Money is not an issue.
And I have so much invested for my future to make sure that my kids and my family will be well taken care of as they age. And one of the wildest moments for me when I realized the importance of really betting on our vision is... There was a time when my coaching business was getting started and growing. I remember the first time that I earned, I earned five figures in a month.
And when I was getting ready to get started as a coach, I had $30,000 of student loan debt. And I always used to think it's going to take me so many years to pay that off. And I remember in one month as a coach, I made $30,000. And I thought, oh my gosh, I thought that this debt would take so long to pay off. I could pay this debt off in one click. So I feel like...
I am truly living the dream as a coach. But if I decided to do what was responsible and logical, I would have been way more stuck in the long run. I never would have pursued coaching. And I would have died with that regret. And I'm not being dramatic here. This is a very real problem that so many people go through. I once heard of this palliative care nurse called Bronnie Ware.
This is all true. She spent years of her life working with terminally ill patients. So she would have conversations with all of her patients moments before their passing. And all of the dying that she would connect with, they would tell her, please, Bronnie, share the messages that...
I have so that others can learn from my mistakes. So back in 2009, she noticed that there were themes from what people were sharing and she decided to compile those themes and call them the five regrets of the dying.
And the reason why Bronnie shared her work with others and ended up writing a book about it is she believed that the voice of those facing death... is so important because confronting our own mortality reminds us that we only have a limited time to really live the life that we choose for ourselves. So I want to share with you the five regrets of the dying. And I want you to just notice where these regrets might show up for you.
And why it is so important to honor your vision so you don't have any of these regrets. So the first and most common regret of the dying was people said they wished they could have lived the life they truly wanted. That is how we define what a vision is. So most people die without honoring their vision. And she discovered that people would look back on their lives.
And over half of their dreams had gone unfulfilled. Most people hadn't honored even half of their dreams. And they died not even realizing why it was the case. They realized just before. They were passing away, that it was just simply the choices that they had made or not made.
The second regret that she found was people wish that they just hadn't worked so hard. So many people regretted spending so much of their lives just running around on this treadmill of a work existence, just doing... doing work that didn't really light them up or speak to their soul and the third regret she found was
People wish that they had truly expressed their voice and their feelings. A lot of people had suppressed their feelings in order to just keep the peace with others. So they ended up settling for mediocre existences, never truly becoming. who they were capable of becoming. The fourth regret she found was that people wish they would have stayed closer in touch with their friends. And the fifth regret was...
People wish they would have let themselves be happier. Pretty heavy, right? So here's the thing about our dreams and our visions. They don't... leave us alone. They don't. Oftentimes when I start talking to people that are looking to take the plunge and become coaches, they tell me, I've been seeing signs for years telling me to do this. For years. So either we honor and we express our dreams or we don't. And it just continues to eat away at our souls.
And what happens when we don't honor our goals, dreams, and visions is we end up with regret. Now, our visions are not supposed to feel responsible, logical, or realistic because we are literally removing our current reality and replacing it with a new one. So it's not supposed to feel responsible, logical, realistic. Logic only knows what it has evidence of. And we only have evidence of the past. A vision is creating a new future.
Not repeating your past. So remember that whenever you or your clients are talking about their vision and they don't think it's realistic or logical. It's not supposed to. That's why we cast our vision forth and we show up to it. And we end up creating the evidence that was always within us and have the life we've always wanted to have. So here's why I think it is so worth it to go after our dreams.
Whenever we do so, we level up. We level up our whole life experience when we pursue our dreams and we honor our vision. And when we actually bet on ourself... and honor and pursue what we're called to pursue in life, we evolve. We raise the bar for ourself. We raise the bar for what's possible. We raise the bar for the success that we could achieve and experience.
We raise the bar for our capacity to serve, to love, to give, to nurture, to appreciate. Every single thing in life expands as we pursue our vision. And one of my favorite things about... pursuing our visions and forcing our visions into reality when we need to, is we get to uncover what is possible. We never get to learn what we're capable of if we keep waiting. So the magical thing...
That happens when you force your vision into your life. Even when you don't feel ready or prepared. Even when it doesn't feel logical or realistic. All of the things in life that you thought you had to handle first. They end up resolving themselves. They end up not even being as big of a problem as we make them out to be. Because we adapt when we need to. And they just become so simple to resolve. And most of them just completely disappear.
So another thing I want you to consider when it comes to vision force and going towards your dreams is that whenever you want something, you're either putting your energy towards wanting it or you're putting your energy towards actually creating it.
So think about that for a second. So if you ever think, I don't know if I'll have the energy to really bring my vision to life, you're going to use the exact same energy of you thinking about your vision to creating it. So you have the energy already. This is the difference between wanting energy and creating energy. Wanting energy is all the thinking you're doing about the vision, about the life you want to live, about the purpose that you'd like to experience.
And that translates to creating energy, which is doing the things to bring everything to life. So it is much more beneficial to use our energy creating our vision than to simply wanting it. It's like I wanted to have my own coaching business so bad and I had lots of energy wanting it, just thinking about it. And then I dove in and all that energy that I had wanting it was then able to be put into creating it.
No extra energy was required. It was just a simple translation. All my wanting energy became creating energy. So what if you have all the energy you will need to be successful? What if all the energy that you have... For wanting, your vision will be the exact same energy you use to bring it to life. So the next time you focus on a vision that you have for your life, what would it look like to...
Force your vision into right now. As uncomfortable as it may seem, it is so worth it in the end. What if now was the perfect time? The exact moment that you've been waiting for. Give yourself as many reasons as you can for why now is the perfect time. There's always going to be things happening in your life. There will always be situations and people that are begging for your attention. And life will give you no shortage of ways to keep yourself busy.
But you are the creator of your reality. And you only get one shot at this. We only have one life to live. This is not a dress rehearsal. And I think that we owe it to ourselves to bet on our dreams. as much as we can. So are you making decisions that are bringing you closer to the life you want or keeping you stuck in the life you currently have?
And what would it look like for you to force your vision into today? The one thing I want to leave you all with and the most important thing to remember is that you are... worth it. Your dreams are worth it. And the best gift that you can offer yourself and the people you care about is being an example of what's possible.
That's what I got for today's episode on vision force. Before you go, here's a quick story from one of our students in the academy. So enjoy their story and I'll see you in the next episode. Hi, my name is Stephanie Lin. I discovered coaching eight years ago when I began my self-development journey and my very first book was You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero, which kind of set me on my path. So I knew...
about life coaches then. I'd heard about them. And then I read Jen's book and she's like, I was a life coach and I get to help people all the time. And I thought, that sounds amazing. I want to do that too. When I started looking for programs. I was looking at IPEC. I was looking at the Life Coach School. I was looking at the Institute for Life Coaching, I think. And I picked TCA because it was the most comprehensive program out of all of them. It has...
Oh my gosh, everything you could need. The business training was really appealing to me because I had learned how to start an organizing business, but I really wanted to learn how to have a really successful coaching business. And so having not just generic business advice, but coaching.
specific advice for how to grow your business was really, really appealing to me. And all of the practice opportunities are huge, like way more than the other programs. I mean, our practice sessions between mentor sessions, group sessions, peer sessions.
and general practice comes to more than twice as much as the next program over. So the opportunity to have such robust learning in addition to the core training, in addition to the modules, and then having that business training, it was just a no-brainer. The morning of my admissions call. I had this huge fear come up because I was like, oh my God, what if this is a huge scam?
I Googled TCA and I looked on the ICF website and I found all this evidence to support that TCA actually is a school. It does exist. It is ICF certified. It's been six months since I joined TCA and I have. four paid one-on-one clients. And I also pre-sold a group coaching program that I have three participants in. I realized I sold two one-on-one packages two weeks ago.
And they replaced my organizing income for an entire month with just those two packages. It felt really good to know that even six months into the program, I can... replace my income. I can do this as a living. It was really validating for me to know that this is something I can do and be successful at. So that was just so exciting. What I like most about the Academy.
is how robust and comprehensive the support and the coaching practice is because I have really high standards. I knew I wanted to come in and I wanted to learn everything I could so that I could be the best possible coach. TCA just covers that. It covers how to be an excellent coach, how to avoid the common pitfalls that are so easy when you're learning how to do coaching. It really pushes you to challenge yourself and to learn more and to become the best possible coach that you can be.
And that's exactly what I wanted. Now that I feel like I'm on my path, it's so much easier to envision all the things that I've wanted for my life because now I can see how to get there. I can see how these skills and these gifts and the practice and the techniques that I'm honing are just going to. get me towards my goals so I can see myself making $100,000 in a year for the first time ever. For prospective students considering the academy, I would tell you to go for it.
And to trust that it's going to work out. And I know that that's really scary in the beginning because you feel like, oh, this is new. I'm learning new things. And I don't know if this is going to work out for me. But the skills that you're learning, no matter how you apply them, whether that means you want to start your own business or whether you want to bring them into whatever you're.
career and your profession is now, you're going to be so equipped for success, no matter what you do, that it's so worth the investment. So your success is really inevitable, no matter what you do. There's no way you're not going to learn and become a better coach and a better person coming out of this program. You'll learn our coaches' secrets. to get started. I'll see you on the inside.