What if some of your anxious attachment behaviors are actually rooted in…selfishness? Not because you don’t care—but because fear can make everything feel urgent and all about you . In this episode, I share my own hard truths, the rigid expectations I used to set, and how healing started when I finally saw the bigger picture. This one’s for anyone ready to trade “me-focused” survival patterns for truly secure connection. 💛 Learn about Attachment Coaching with me HERE....
Jul 09, 2025•9 min
Today on the podcast, we’re joined by Lexi Stout —a former coaching client who opens up about her journey of recognizing how her avoidant attachment style was impacting her dating life, and what she’s been doing to break old patterns and move toward healthy relationships. We dive into: How her avoidant attachment kept her stuck in unfulfilling situationships Learning to open her heart and receive love Breaking the habit of hyper-independence and accepting support Confronting her avoidance and be...
Jul 01, 2025•29 min
Ever taken an attachment quiz and thought, “Yup, I’m anxious”… only to find yourself totally avoidant once real intimacy kicks in? In this episode, I dive into why your feelings might say one thing, but your behaviors —especially under stress—reveal the real story. I’m sharing insights, patterns to look for, and a personal dating example that might sound all too familiar. Let’s untangle the truth together. Learn about attachment coaching with Jessica here. Instagram: @thejessicadasilva...
Jun 23, 2025•10 min
In this episode, we explore the hidden struggles behind avoidant attachment through a candid conversation with someone who’s lived it. We discuss: 🔹 Why he resisted change in past relationships — believing emotional distance was a strength 🔹 How self-protection became self-disconnection 🔹 The breakup that made him realize his avoidant patterns were the root cause 🔹 Why avoidants do love deeply — and how fear keeps it buried 🔹 Reconnecting to his emotional self and finding fulfilling love 🔹...
May 19, 2025•44 min
In this personal episode, I take you behind the scenes of a recent dating experience that stirred up both growth and grief — and revealed just how far I’ve come on my attachment healing journey. As someone who used to operate from a fearful avoidant (leaning anxious) attachment style, I now move through dating with much more self-trust, clarity, and compassion. But that doesn’t mean the old patterns don’t still surface — especially when connection, chemistry, and unmet needs collide. I’ll walk y...
May 13, 2025•15 min
Today on the podcast, we’re joined by the lovely Meghan Gatto. Meghan went through the My Secure Self group coaching program this past summer with the goal of deepening her understanding of anxious attachment — and learning practical tools to break unhealthy relationship patterns. In this episode, we dive into: Breaking the cycle of anxious attachment Attraction to avoidant partners—and how to stop that How your body signals when you’re in the wrong relationship Approaching dating from a sec...
May 06, 2025•33 min
Today, I’m excited to introduce Joe Reilly , an incredible human and former coaching client of mine, who has been actively working to break his anxious attachment patterns and step into his secure self . We dive into: The challenges of anxious attachment His pattern of dating avoidant partners and where that inclination comes from Healing through a recent breakup Learning to be okay with being alone How he’s been building a secure relationship with himself through this season so that he can be m...
Mar 17, 2025•52 min
If you’ve been listening to the podcast for a while, you know I love exploring how attachment styles impact all areas of life—not just relationships with people. Through my own healing work, I’ve noticed that as I became more secure and confident within myself, that same transformation began to reflect in my relationship with everything—including money! That’s why I invited Shamina Taylor, a former attorney turned Wealth Consciousness Mentor and author of the Amazon #1 Best Seller Unlocking The ...
Mar 12, 2025•51 min
In this episode, I explore the difference between commitment and compatibility, sharing my personal experience navigating these challenges in a past relationship. I also discuss how to recognize the distinction, helping you better assess whether you’re in the right relationship. Learn about attachment coaching with me here.
Mar 06, 2025•14 min
Today on the podcast, I'm joined by dating coach Sabrina Zohar—best known for her transformative podcast, The Sabrina Zohar Show. She brings a no-nonsense, straightforward approach to relationship advice. In this episode, we discuss: Sabrina’s journey from anxious to secure attachment. The reality of managing anxiety—it doesn’t just disappear. The power of nervous system regulation for those with anxious attachment. How to spot emotional unavailability in dating. Low-effort vs. high-effort behav...
Feb 20, 2025•48 min
Today on the podcast we have Melina Charis. She is a writer and mentor for women moving through grief and heartbreak. She has 10+ years experience with ceremonial + somatic healing practices and 6+ years experience holding space for others, but her greatest teachers by far have been motherhood, death, grief and life itself. We cover: Grieving breakups, death, identity shifts, and more. How unprocessed grief manifests in daily life. The ways grief can resurface years later. Understanding that gri...
Feb 12, 2025•46 min
If you've been following my breakup journey, I wanted to share an update on my healing process now that it's been 1 year. My hope is that this gives you insight into the grief cycle, the messiness of healing, and reassurance that things do get better. Work With Me : Attachment Coaching - CLICK HERE Previous recorded break-up updates: - Recovering From Heartbreak - 8 Month Update (Through a Secure Lens) - Recovering From Heartbreak - (Through a Secure Lens) Almost 6 Month Update - To Stay or Br...
Feb 04, 2025•24 min
In today’s episode, former client and dismissive avoidant attacher Randy Hamama shares his journey of navigating insecurities in a new relationship. He discusses common avoidant struggles, such as discerning fears from authentic desires, staying present when the urge to withdraw arises, identifying what makes a partner feel safe for avoidants, and understanding when it’s worth staying with an avoidant partner or when it’s time to walk away. Whether you have an avoidant attachment style or are in...
Jan 06, 2025•48 min
Today on the podcast, Vanessa Scaringi, PhD, CEDS-C, a licensed psychologist and certified eating disorder specialist supervisor, and Kathryn Garland, LCSW-S, CEDS-C, a clinical social worker and certified eating disorder specialist supervisor, discuss: How attachment styles influence our relationship with our body and eating habits How different attachment styles may experience eating disorders The impact of early relational experiences on eating behaviors Tools to heal and rebuild a positive r...
Dec 17, 2024•51 min
In today's episode, the wonderful Hannah Flynn, a former client of mine, shares her journey of navigating her avoidant attachment style, overcoming deception and heartbreak, and ultimately finding healthy, secure love. We discuss: The challenges of communication with an avoidant attachment style. The importance of addressing conflict rather than avoiding it to maintain peace. The pain of being deceived in a trusted relationship. Learning your relationship needs and desires through trial and erro...
Dec 02, 2024•44 min
I had a revelation recently with a big life change. I noticed similar insecure ways of thinking and feeling surface that resembled how I used to feel in unhealthy relationship dynamics. The goal with this episode is to help you reflect on how you may be "insecurely attaching" to things outside of your relationships, such as your home, belongings, items, routines, goals, dreams, by highlighting similar attachment patterns that could be harming you rather than helping you. Most importantly, how to...
Nov 20, 2024•18 min
Today on the podcast we have Chris Rackliffe, also known as @crackliffe. He is a trauma healer, mental health advocate, anxious attachment style coach, and author of the new self-help book, Needy No More: The Journey From Anxious to Secure Attachment—available exclusively on Amazon beginning November 19, 2024. Chris has worked with countless clients across five continents to help them heal their anxious attachment style and grow more secure, sharing everything he’s learned on his own healing jou...
Nov 18, 2024•1 hr 1 min
Today on the podcast we have Lisa May Francisco who is a first-generation Filipino women’s empowerment coach, Kundalini yoga teacher, EFT practitioner, and host of the Sacred Femme Alchemy podcast. She leads women to bust through their emotional blocks, reclaim unshakable self-worth, and unleash their wild, authentic selves through potent spiritual coaching and transformative practices. We talk about: -The benefits of using somatic techniques to address our attachment challenges. -A guided EFT s...
Nov 07, 2024•54 min
In this episode, I discuss identifying subtle forms of dismissiveness in a partner and its impact on our well-being from a personal and general perspective. It's easy to overlook milder forms of rejection, especially if we consider our loved ones "good people." But if we don't become aware of these troubling mild behaviors, they can perpetuate our feelings of disconnection and insecurity within our relationships, leaving us confused. 1-1 Attachment Coaching with Jessica: https://www.jessicadasil...
Oct 26, 2024•15 min
Today on the podcast, we have a special guest: Rebecca Haddock. She is a badass businesswoman, scientist, inventor, and president of her company, Equitape. Rebecca is also a former client of mine who originally came to me seeking support in breaking her unhealthy attachment patterns, specifically tendencies associated with avoidant attachment. In this episode, we talk about… -Typical relationship challenges for those of us with an avoidant attachment style. -How attachment science can help us un...
Oct 17, 2024•1 hr
On this podcast the podcast we have Lucy Price. Lucy is a breakup and relationship coach who helps individuals heal from heartbreak, get over their exes, and create fulfilling lives. Lucy specializes in guiding clients through the emotional challenges of breakups, teaching self-love, and helping them rebuild confidence and clarity for the future. We talk about: -How our attachment styles are reflected in a breakup. -How to navigate a breakup depending on our attachment tendencies. -Going no cont...
Sep 30, 2024•1 hr 2 min•Season 2Ep. 89
Today on the podcast, we have Patch McCormick, a former ad man turned relationship therapist for men, couples, and groups. Individually, he helps men earn secure attachment with a combination of IFS, EMDR, CBT, and various somatic tools. He's incredibly passionate about teaching assertiveness and how to build confidence. Patch was bold enough to agree to come onto my podcast and share his personal experience with having a dismissive avoidant attachment style and his process over the years to bec...
Sep 17, 2024•1 hr 10 min•Season 2Ep. 88
I wanted to share an update on my break-up recovery process, as I know many of you have found comfort in hearing about my experience, understanding you're not alone and finding ways to navigate the challenges through a secure approach. In this episode I share: -How I've been feeling after 8 months post break-up. -How I've been navigating the 5 stages of grief and it's natural highs and lows. -Entering the dating app world! -Opening myself up to new experiences (and people). -Navigating my fearfu...
Sep 10, 2024•32 min•Season 2Ep. 87
Learn why you may attach quickly and intensely to people in the early stages of dating, as well as how to take more of a detached approach to lessen the anxiety and stress you experience when others aren't consistent or pull away. MY SECURE SELF GROUP COACHING PROGRAM (3 MONTHS) 1:1 ATTACHMENT COACHING (10 WEEKS) Contact Me: hello@jessicadasilvacoaching.com...
Sep 03, 2024•15 min•Season 2Ep. 86
Today on the podcast, we have Jason Berry. He is a podcaster, entrepreneur, and amateur Hyrax athlete. A few months ago, I was a guest speaker on his podcast @awakenoutofcontext, where we discussed attachment styles. I loved his vulnerability and personal insights so much that I invited him onto my podcast to talk more about his experience with having an anxious attachment style. In this episode, he shares: -A male's perspective on having an anxious attachment style. -Dating as an anxious attach...
Jul 31, 2024•1 hr 11 min•Season 2Ep. 85
If you have an anxious, dismissive avoidant, or fearful avoidant attachment style, it’s most likely you are self-conscious and therefore take things personally. This can be problematic as we can distort the reality of a situation and therefore engage in self-sabotaging behaviors. In this episode, I share how each insecure attachment style takes things personally, the implications, and how to stop. ——— My Secure Self Group Coaching Program: https://jessicadasilva.mykajabi.com/my-secure-self-case-...
Jul 24, 2024•24 min•Season 2Ep. 84
In this weeks podcast episode I talk about how anxious, dismissive avoidant, fearful avoidant and secure attachments experience single-hood and ways to navigate these often challenging phases with more ease. —— 1:1 Attachment Coaching - www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com
Jun 23, 2024•28 min•Season 2Ep. 83
In this episode, I share my personal experience of recovering from my recent breakup of almost 7 years (from a secure approach). Is the grass greener on the other side? Tune in to learn more :) _____ 1-1 Attachment Coaching With Me: https://www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com/coach-with-me-2
Jun 03, 2024•20 min
Communication is important because it meets fundamental emotional needs that are at the root of our challenges. In this episode, you will learn helpful tips on how to communicate with someone who has a fearful avoidant attachment style.——— 1-1 Attachment Coaching: www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com
May 27, 2024•13 min•Season 2Ep. 81
Communication is important because it meets fundamental emotional needs that are at the root of our challenges. In this episode, you will learn what these emotional needs are for the dismissive avoidant attachment style, how to address them, and helpful tips for effective communication. ——— 1-1 Attachment Coaching: www.jessicadasilvacoaching.com
May 14, 2024•20 min•Season 2Ep. 81
