Hey, Hey, it's your favorite non celebrity real life besties. We're still struggling and having fun in the dating scene, and we love to sit here and chat with all of you listeners and swap war stories as we are all in the same trenches, and we just want to dive deep into a real topic, which is something Thelma and I talk about regularly, which is how do you fill the time or the gray area when you're not
involved in a relationship. And I just want to point out that at the end of the day, Thelma is my soulmate and I will always choose all me and any other guy I date is going to be number two. And tomorrow Thelma is leaving me for two weeks, and I have to say we are entering into a long distance relationship, and I begin to get panicked, but heart have no fear I have showing up on our doorstep for New Year's Eve because we can't possibly not be together.
But the truth, the truth to be told is is Thelma and I are really good at looking at our life like a huge a huge pizza, and dating is a slice of it. But we have worked really hard to find fulfillment and lots of things that find us joy and dating is just part of it, and our whole life is not about finding that partner. So, Thelma, what are your thoughts on this? Do you concur that this is something that you and I have succeeded in doing.
I completely agree, and I think that, I mean, this might just be me, but I feel like often I when I think about the times where I might be wishing that I had somebody, or I'm lonely or just wondering why I'm not in a relationship, it's often a sign of something far bigger going on within me, and it really has nothing to do with dating or finding the person. It's that something in my life is either
off or I'm not I'm trying to think. I'm thinking that if I find someone, it might be the solution to something that I'm not really approaching in the right way in my own like in my own way. So for example, I think sometimes it's I'm bored and I'm bored, and so instead of saying Okay, I'm bored, what am I going to do about it and taking steps to address that, that's when your mind or my mind might be like, oh, well, if I was dating somebody, it
would look different. And I think the truth is it's usually I have it within me to make a change so that I don't feel bored, or that I don't feel lonely, or that I am being proactive, and so often it's about just taking action. And then I find that it's not even about missing someone.
I think finding a partner has to be totally additive, right, Like I think if we make our whole life about finding our soulmate or finding our husband or finding our boyfriend, it's kind of always looking out like tomorrow and the next stop on the train, right, And I think we need to focus on the day ahead of us and say, how can we find joy? What's going to make us feel good? We don't need to fill a hole within ourselves with another person.
Right, That's never going to work. I mean we both talked about that.
Also, shopping buying a new pair of shoes isn't going to fill a hole, right, Like, it's finding joy within ourselves. And I think you know what you and I do is sure we have our five minutes of saying like, oh, it would be so great if somebody was taking us out on a Saturday night, But like we can take ourselves out on a Saturday night completely and we enjoy ourselves doing it right. And as you and I both know, I would rather bet on our known, our unknown, than
are known. And I look around at eighty five percent of the people in my lives who are in marriages and relationships and they're unhappy, right, and the grass is not greener. But I have to say that every day you and I wake up, we are the architects of our own life period and it's exciting and it's an opportunity. The unknown is an opportunity, and I just think we have to look at this period of time in our life as there is a reason why we are I'm
not saying alone, because we're not alone. We have each other, we have our children, we have our friends, we have whatever it is in our life. We've got the Starbucks barista, right, like our value is not determined because we have a partner period completely.
And it's not about playing the waiting game. It's about what do you want in your life and taking steps today to make that happen, and you, as you said, being the architect of your own life. So I think that a big, huge piece also is recognizing that like it's not one thing or one person that really meets all of your emotions needs.
Well, why are we giving that person, that unknown person, that power.
But I think it's a common misconception. I think a lot of people when they get unhappy, go to, oh, well, it would look so different if I had somebody. But if you're unhappy, it's because you're unhappy or lonely in your own life. It's not because somebody else is going to provide that for you.
Well, it's no different than when somebody's like, oh, if I had a million dollars more, i'd be happier. It's like, no, be happy with what you have and how you've achieved it. Right, So at the end of the day, Look, you and I do a lot of stuff. You know. Here's what I do when I'm unhappy or I'm feeling lonely. I pick up the phone and I FaceTime you. I know you hate my face time, but we FaceTime. We laugh. Right, I read a book. There is nothing better than actually
reading a book and getting lost in a story. It feels really good, putting on a TV show, going on a walk. I mean, you and I have I'll speak for myself osteoporosis now, so I have to work weight ad best right one for Chris I did. That was a good gift, you know. But I just feel like there are so many ways to create fulfillment within ourselves that has nothing to do with finding a partner, right Like there all this is a chapter when we are all searching for people. We need to just look. I
think it's two bold. I think you energetically have to put it out there that you want to meet somebody, right, but at the same time, you can't make your entire focus about meeting somebody and coming from this like desperate place about it. It's kind of like walking a tight rope, right, Like, it would be great to meet somebody. I am open to meeting somebody, but at the same time, I'm living
my best life. And because I'm living my best life, that is the energy that we're giving out there, and it's going to come back to us.
Andrew, you spending the time I think being your best version of yourself, and I mean I mean on a deeper level and trying new things. I meant getting your self comfortable being uncomfortable. I feel like I always am saying to my kids, like when they say, Oh, I don't want to do that. You know, I'm scared to do it. I'm scared to run for student body. I'm
scared to do this. Like I spend so much time and my kids are older now, but pushing and encouraging my kids to get out there and do things that they they kind of want to do, but then within five seconds have already talked themselves out of it. And it's it's about taking my own advice and pushing myself to do things and operating not out of I mean
not out of fear, but being proactive. And I feel like I'm really trying to say yes to more things that are unique and different and not the usual things that I do.
So to that point, right, and this is something we've talked about and I think it's a lot easier to do it. And we're not in our own city, right, but you know, it would be amazing to sit at a bar by ourselves, because we all know guys don't approach tables of women. Don't people get approached when they're
either by themselves or maybe with one other person. So traveling alone, going on and eat prey love trip, which puts us out of our comfort zone, sitting at a hotel bar and having you know, a pork chop and a glass of wine by yourself, right, not on your phone, just with a big smile on your face, right saying like I'm approachable, Come talk to me.
We're saying oh to people in the street, I mean, or when an elevator or a gym, Hey, you know nice, how are you? How's your day? I mean, it's all of those things. It's like signing up for a pickleball class without a friend and doing it by yourself, and going and meeting random people that you would never have met before and showing up in that way, you know, or saying yes when people invite you to things that you generally would say no to or you don't think
you're going to know anybody. It's like that's what you have to do.
Well, there's the reason why these opportunities are presented to us. We don't know why, right, Like, we have no idea. Somebody might say, oh, I need you to drop off you know this this thing at the whatever, and all of a sudden you walk in and your soulmate is there. We just have to be open and say yes to opportunities. I mean, look, don't forget. You were in Atlanta and I think you were dropping one of her kids off and you went down to the Four Seasons bar and
you had sat down and had dinner. And I was so struck by the story because it was you sat there and you started talking to somebody, and I remember thinking like, oh, well, you and I had this whole business idea. Remember what we were going to do still not off the table, right, We're going to go hotel bar to hotel bar, city to city and you know, kind of talk about all the different people we meet,
and it's like, it's very fun. I had a friend here and I was really she actually had a Saturday night, had to drop her son off at like a bar mitzeat and sat at the bar at Brentwood, Catsia by herself on a Saturday night. I was like, oh, that's.
Quite old when you know people. And that's why I think it's so much easier when you're somewhere outside of your day to day because it's easier being anonymous and not feeling so uncomfortable kind of being alone. Right, I mean, not many people in their hometown are willing to do that, but I think like getting in the car driving to Santa Barbara, like, it doesn't have to be anything major. I mean talk about major. You remember I told you
about what my sister and I did. We got divorced within six months of each other, and we were both just like, oh my gosh, what does our chapter two look like? Where do we pick up and start our lives? Like everything we thought and knew our life to be completely you know, was not no longer. And we planned a trip to a visa. The two of us literally gone on a plane, went to a visa and traveled for two weeks together. And I seriously think that was like the best trip I've ever had in my entire life.
No, you want me to do with my sister? Who's I just said that to you?
The idea you did? Have you done that with your sister? It's just it was so fun. I mean, we wore clothes we never would have worn, right, We talked to people we never would have talked to. We stayed out until five am. It was like it was such a high. It was such a high, well it was.
It was something completely different than your normal greatest tips or what's in your playbook? You know. Look, I will say it's hard sometimes and to sit there and I go down the rabbit hole of like, why am I sol alone? I've been divorced nine years, I've dated, I've had boyfriends, but like, why haven't I found my unicorn? Like? And sometimes you begin to say to yourself, like what's wrong with me? Like why can that person get themselves
into a long term relationship or get themselves remarried. I mean, I'll never forget when I was going through my divorce proceedings and my ex husband said to me, oh, you'll be remarried at no time, and I was like, Okay, great, well that hasn't happened. And I'm like and meanwhile he's like engaged and living his best life. And I'm like, is something wrong with me? And you know, I sometimes it makes me feel badly about myself. And then I thought, no, I'm going to not come from that place like I
just haven't found my right person. And this has been a time where I'm becoming the best version of myself. And I know I have changed so much from the person I was when I was married to the early years of being divorced to who I am today. And I'm proud of that. Person and the work I've done, and I know I'm better for it, and each person that we date, whether it's one date, whether it's one month, whether it's three years, it's part of our journey so
we get to our final destination. And I believe it's happening, and it maybe took a little bit longer, but I'm but I'm also happy that you and I have been on the same timeline.
Well, but you might have not and you might not have evolved as much had you met somebody right away, right because as soon as you get in a relationship, that's when compromise starts. And I'm not saying it's not a great thing, because I think you become less stuck in your ways and all the rest. That's the danger of being single for too long, is do I elect to actually have a partner in my life, because it is so good without having to make those compromises and sacrifices.
But I do think that attitude is everything right, and your attitude, I mean, let's be honest, I mean, there's an ass for every seat. If we wanted a boyfriend, or anyone wanted a boyfriend or a girlfriend, you could have one. And it's like every I mean, everybody could be taken or I mean, I don't want to say everybody.
For sure, but we don't want to settle, and we'd like it. I'm the queen of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, right because you know, and so I think you're better at cutting bait sooner than I do, right because I'm like, oh, like they're nice or it is or that or good enough. But I don't want good enough because first of all, the scary thing is is they say a lot of second marriages greater percentage of ending up in divorced than first marriages.
So it would I don't want to get divorced again, right, or I don't it's scary.
Or you want to get married. I mean I also think that, like you look at people today, and I think how I view marriage and and commitment and partnership is so different as a fifty one year old than as a twenty year old. You know, I used It's not that I spent time sitting there dreaming about like, oh, a white picket fence and you know, getting married. I wasn't really one of those, but I just assumed that that's kind of what you did, and I think today.
Well, you also watch a great example in your parents.
I mean, my parents have been married for over sixty years, my siblings. You know, I was the first in my family to get divorced, and it took me a really long time to not feel like there was this stigma. And I think I told you, like everyone in my world and my purview, everyone I saw was married, and it wasn't until I got divorced that I realized how
many people were actually divorced. But I also think that a huge, a huge piece for me is that like back to kind of emotional needs being met by different people. I don't think that one person in it needs to be my be all and all you know, as you said, it's additive, it enhances your life. But the truth is like we and have somebody, but it doesn't have to look the same. They can be you know, and out of town like friends.
Right like, say we have ten friends and one person is the person you laugh with, one person is the one you talk about, make up the genes with one person you tell them your deepest, darkest secret and can be your most vulnerable self. Right like that goes back to the whole point of what we think. I think this podcast is is finding a partner is just supposed to be part of your life. There are so many more.
There's so many equally amazing and important aspects of one's life, right Like, it's career, it's passions, it's hobbies, it's friends, it's family, it's being a parent, it's professional, it's spiritual, right like, what turns us on spiritual? Like I love my crystals, I love manifestation, I love listening to Gabby Bernstein, I love my eleven eleven numbers, right Like, it's a very big it's a big landscape. And so I think you know, you and I are really good not making
finding our partner of the utmost important. Our life is never going to be defined by that. Look, when you're twenty, twenty five, thirty, you know, we do want to find our husband, we want to get married, we want to have children, Like those are important things. But to your point, when you're in your fifties, a partner is very different at fifty than at twenty, right Like, we're looking for a companion.
Yeah, it can be a once in a month partner. I mean I think we differ a little bit. I think you ultimately would like to find one person. But for me, I don't know. I kind of feel like it's this archaic, archaic tradition of like, and it's not that I'm opposed to monogamy, but like, I don't know if I need somebody full time in my life, and like you know, for me, it might be finding somebody that enjoys the same things that I do and hooking up. And I don't mean literally hooking up, but like hooking
you hooking up. I mean that's never well, that's my long distance.
For you, you're very open and comfortable with the concept of a long business relationship because think about it, you're getting the best of both worlds, right, Like you get your life here, you get your time to beat Thelma, you get your time with your fun girls dinners, but then you would be able to go away and spend your time with your boyfriend at that time.
For me, it's like getting a fix and then after I've gotten it, I'm like, I feel good.
I will say, the best thing to do in this for me, which there's nothing I love more than our girls trips, Like I think packing up with your friends, taking a drive, or hopping on a plane to go to New York. Like, I just got back from a girls trip in New York for four days. It was the most fun. We felt so good about ourselves. And it also when you change your environment and you come back, you just have a fresh kind of rejuvenated energy about you.
And I don't know, like we're all going to the pro am in January to sell We're going to have such a blast.
You realize the world's also a bigger place, kind of what you said, It's like it's so small, but it is big, And like, how do you start doing things that aren't the usual things that you do to create excitement and novelty and you know, have butterflies again when you're going out.
But I also think we need to look at dating like fun. Like it's like it's an opportunity, right, and for example, like you know, and it was hard to get you to start doing it, right, Like I really get to push you, and I really kind of look at it as an opportunity even like the anticipation of getting ready and like the coordination of the date is
far more fun and exciting than the actual date itself. Right, It's like the wedding prep and then you have the wedding right, so you know, eight times out of ten, the date is like a hard pass, but the fun that we have doing it. But for me, look, dating is hard in LA for me because I grew up here. I feel like I know one won't want a dating app because I see everyone I know on it. But there are some really funny dating stories. I mean, I just have to tell you it's dating fun like I
got remember the story I told you this weekend. This story is I was telling my kids last night. So I have a friend who's going through a divorce, and I've been pushing her to go on the dating apps, and she's set her age range to mid sixties because she's like, I don't want anyone with young kids, like I just want somebody who's like a man, who can like up and go okay. Fine, So she matches with this guy. She sends me the picture and he's handsome.
He's cute, right, and so she's like okay. So they make a plan to wow this Tuesday night, and so she sends the picture to another one of our friends. And then our friend was at John and Vinnie's having lunch on Sunday and she sees this guy on another date, but the one that my friend is going to meet. So she takes a picture of him and she says it to my friend and goes, guess he's really on the dating circuit. So he's like a total dating machine. So those are the stories that you have to laugh
at and have fun with. And then the currency and the laughter. We've dined out on this story all wee get them out of shared it with you like it's so funny.
And that's the same thing. Actually, when my sister and I were in a Biza, we got on the dating apps, and remember I told you that we would. I mean, our profiles were very similar, but we were also seeking similar in return, and so we were texting the same people and then taking notes on like who was responding with what and were they like the same response were they different responses? Remember I would take her phone put her on dates with other people.
Well, it's what I'm doing on your pun But look, as you know, your friend Louise is very woo woo, right, like you had to take some of the crystals.
Out of my place, and you believe everything the sign, but I.
Do, but I believe in manifestation and I believe in vision boards. So, for example, every year on January one, I don't know if you know this about me, I do a vision board, and I keep it in a space that I can see. Sometimes it's in my bathroom, sometimes it's in whatever it is, because again, I believe in manifestation. As you know, when I see eleven eleven on a license plate or a clock or a receipt, you know, I'm busy crossing myself and making wishes and
all that. So what are you manifesting for twenty twenty five me?
I funny that you asked that. I feel like this sounds really superficial, but it's something that I know really affects my mood, and it's it's basically feeling good about myself physically and esthetically. And I know that that sounds superficial, but you know how we joke around about the brawn and underwear, how the matching raw and underwear. I feel like when I know this sounds really light to your
big question, because I actually have deeper ones. But I feel like you get ready because you see clients all the time, and so you always kind of feel well. I don't know if you feel good about yourself, but you look good, you present well, and I think in turn, it makes you feel good. And I think for me working from home, not having to present and be around people, do you know what I mean in a formal setting on a day to day basis, can really start to
impact my psyche. And I feel like getting dressed and liking what I see in the mirror makes me approach my day so differently. And you know, remember you joked around with me. We were in a dressing room one time and you're like, oh, I like your bron underwear. And this is one thing that's always a non negotiable for me. But like I put on matching braun and underwear every single day. I do not do it for
anybody else. I do it for me. You wear underwear, I know not everyone does, but anyway, I do it for me because I often think, you know, we joke around where it's like, well, if you don't like yourself, and if you don't like what you see in the mirror, why do you expect somebody else to? And I really do take that to her.
I think it's a metaphor if you feel good about yourself, or at least you're faking it till you make it. Then that's the energy you're putting out there. So even when I'm going to yoga, you're gonna think this is weird. But I have a sephor a store in my place. I put a little cream blush on before I go to yoga.
Oh, I know I didn't it, and I always feel terrible, but I have nothing.
It makes me feel so much better. And I always I love two. I love getting I'm so girly like that, right like I boys, like could you imagine my daughters? But like I love putting myself together, right like it makes me feel good about myself and I can put my best foot forward. So I think that's actually a really good New Year's resolution for you.
Yeah, so I think, on a lighter note, it's that. I also think it's like what am I doing on a day to day basis to that support my goals and what I want my life to look like, Because it's really about what's the bigger goal and then what are you doing to actually reach it? And I think for me, we always talk about gratitude is so important, and you've had a gratitude journal forever. I feel like I live in a very grateful space, but I need more of a day to day reminder.
I'm going to value that journal because honestly, it is. I just sent it to a friend. It's this like dear Universe manifestation journal, and it is. It's a quick morning exercise and a quick night time exercise. But it is so valuable and it is so centering for me as I start my day, and centering for me as I go to sleep at night. It's super reflective. It takes zero time, and it talks about like what are you manifesting for the day, what are you grateful for
from the night before? And look, you know, I spend a lot of time. For example, in the first of every month, I have a journal where I write, what do I have this month that I didn't have last month? What did I accomplish this month that I didn't accomplish last month? And I really believe in manifesting. And I could sit here and tell you, which would negate our entire podcast, that I am manifesting a husband, but I'm not. I think what I'm manifesting for twenty twenty five is
the ability to stay a little more. Even holidays are tough for me, right like it's Stephan my childhood. You know, I did not grow up in the environment that you did, right. I had parents who had a really ugly divorced Holidays were hard for me. Christmas was hard for me. And I think what I'm really learning, what I want to manifest is staying even right. Like it's a lot of black and white with me right, not a lot of gray.
And I think that that's my biggest, my biggest lesson that I need to do, and you're really good at it, and you really talk me off the ledge. I had some tears this week, and that's what I really that's what my lesson is, right, Like I can put myself together, I can load the face up of makeup, I can do all that. It's for me more of the kind of internal sturdiness.
And that's so funny because I think that's why I think we are such good friends, is that we our strengths and weaknesses are very different and for me, which I admire about you. Yeah, and that's I think. Another question is who are we surrounding ourselves with which I'll finish my point, but I think that that's a big piece of this. But is like you, I want to start saying yes to more things. And so for me, I am looking forward like one month and say, okay,
what am I doing this month? That makes me feel a little uncomfortable.
So start that like what I do. Start it and I have your notes section and hold yourself accountable.
Yeah, I'm going on a ski trip with these girls in February that It's totally not my usual scene. It's a different group. They're all really really close friends. They invite me every year, and this year I said yes, And you.
Never know what can happen. I always say to my kids too, like just say yes, don't limit yourself, right, But I think to go back to your point, like we are who we surround yourself with. And I've had to make a lot of changes in friendships over the last few years, which has been super super painful for me. But instead of looking at the whole or the change or the lack, I sit there and I look at my table at five ten, whatever it is, and I feel so grateful because you guys all light me up
and fill me up. That if I never found a husband again and I just had all of you to live in an old age home, I could not love my friends, more, I have cleared house, I have the greatest group of women in my life surrounding me that make me a way better version of myself. And I am beyond grateful. And I think that the whole point of life, other than health is gratitude, right, Like, focus on what we do have, not what we don't have. Right.
And then the more you focus on what we do have, the more blessings that are going to come our way. And just be a kind and a good person and be nice to people. It's amazing to me in this world how people just don't think about other people. It feels good to give, It feels good to be.
Thoughtful completely, and there's so much power in that, right when you are helping other people or reaching out to other people or giving a compliment. I mean so often my kids always make fun of me because I'll be somewhere, I'll be at this grocery store, I'll be somewhere, I'll be like, oh my gosh, you have amazing eyes. And they're always like that is so creepy, Like why did you tell that woman that she has, you know, beautiful eyes?
And I was like, because you know what, I felt it, I saw it and I and you see how people react when you give a genuine compliment. I'm not saying compliment people for no reason, do you know what I mean?
I agree, I mean especially women complimenting other women and supporting women. But I feel like, you know, doing for others. I mean, I will tell you Thanksgiving. I live in a building, as you know, and I have doorman and ballets, and I love these guys so much. And it was Thanksgiving and there's there's two there's a turn there's the day turnover and then the night turnover. And so I went down on Thanksgiving during the day and I said to the guys, said hey, I want to order you,
you know, brunch, you know, for working on Thanksgiving. And they're like, oh my god, that's so nice. Whatever, And then I sent Thanksgiving dinner to the dinner crew. And the next morning, when I went down to get my car, they came up to me and they said, you're the only person in this building who offered to send us
anything for Thanksgiving. I was, first of all, I was so sad that in a building of one hundred people, nobody else thought to send these people Thanksgiving dinner and show them our gratitude for all that they do for us.
I love.
For me, giving feels way more better than receiving. We did our secret sanding yesterday. I love to give, you know, and I want my kids to learn this. It's important to me because it does feel good. I think volunteering is good for the soul. I think giving. You know. The other day, you know, we always go to a restaurant and the valet, for some reason, remembers us. He is the nicest guy, and as we're getting out of the car, he said, oh, you know, do they serve
your dinner every night? And so pulled out here. He's like, no, they don't serve us dinner. And I was like oh. So in my head I was like, what's your favorite thing on the menu and he's like, oh, it's the you know, it's the pulled pork. And I was like okay. So took the boys into the restaurant, sat down at the table we were ordering, and I said to the waitress I'd like to get the pulled pork to go. And my kids it was like a light bulb went off in their heads, like, oh my god, Mom got
Me's so nice. I walked out, you know, after dinner, I handed him the pulled pork and I said, enjoy your dinner, and he said, he's like, oh my god. I mean it was like and it felt so good. Nothing made me feel higher than that.
Yeah, I bet that was the greatest feeling. Probably better than any good date.
You know, it's better than any good date.
The overall motto for the year for me is if nothing changes, nothing changes. And so I think you know, eighty percent of the time, ninety percent of time, I love my life, gratitude, feel like it's full. I don't feel like I'm missing anything. But when I do find myself in contemplative or reflective periods where I do feel like something is off, I'm really trying to catch myself and better identify what is it that I'm really feeling.
Right, And if you want change, you have to be changed, and nothing drops out of sky, like you can't fix it. For me, if I'm feeling small or sad, I have to think to myself, Thelma, what can I do to make myself feel better in this moment? Right Like it is a choice for me to either fall apart and wallow and feel sad or literally find an action, create an action that I can do to then, you know, change my mindset and kind of get quote recentered completely.
And the key word is action. You know, it's proactively going through our lives as opposed to reactively or passively is even better. You know. I think that we can control how we feel and we can control our lens and we're not putting it in shame on us. I mean shame on us if we have our health.
Look, guys, nothing is more important than health. Period. We can change every single thing in our life anything. And I always say to my children too, like when you hear about these awful suicides, I say, nothing is worth at Like you can change anything in your life. And I think that you know, sitting in pain and wallowing in pain and depression, like you have to try to snap out of it as quickly as you got to feel it, right, like you got to experience.
And acknowledge it. I think it's important for acknowledge.
It and not shove it under the rug. But at the same time, you have to mobilize right and and and push yourself. It's like a breakup, right, Like we all get our ass handed to us and a breakup and it is heartbreaking. You know, I was listening to that Mel Robbins Breakup podcast, which is amazing, Like you got to feel it, you got to go through it, and then you got to pick yourself up by your footstraps. And you need to say rejection is redirection. There is
something better coming for me. I am ready, I am open, I am excited.
Because people feel that and people want to be around that. You know. It's like, you know, you always hear about these like are you an energy sucker or you know what I mean? Or do you give people energy?
Right? Do you light people up? Or are you a victim? Nobody wants to be run a victim all the time.
No, it's pathetic. And by the way, when I am around people that are sitting there complaining or wallowing about being single, I literally like, oh my god, like you are tragic. And that's what I think.
I mean, Well, desperation is so obvious, I mean honestly, like people pick up on that energy, right, Like you have to love yourself so other people can love us. We don't fall in love with ourselves.
Completely, and so looking in the mirror and taking stock of like where you could be a better version of yourself, Like I think that's important. And while you are so called waiting for some or mister right to come along, like, there's plenty of time to work on yourself.
Will be missus right yourself? Yeah, I don't know, man, the game of life, it's like peaks and valleys. It's learning to navigate. It's just learning to deal with the curve balls that come our way and the roadblocks and the winds and the losses.
You only get one life, and so we should really be living it to the fullest, you know, and.
At the very least you know that weighted best and are whipping around Homebye Park together and laughing. Is you know, it gives me a lot of joy. It gives me joy to live a parallel life with like you or you know, somebody as we're kind of navigating all of it together because I don't feel alone. I don't have a partner, I don't have a husband, but I am not alone because of you or people like you in my life.
You know, it's really funny when you say that. I think back to I don't know if you watch The Golden Bachelor and Bachelorette, but I did.
I didn't, and I have to tell you.
Should because it it is the best lesson in life. And I feel like if you line ten people up, I mean, I don't want to speak for everybody, but I bet large majority of people would say that they found it far more intriguing to watch the twenty bachelors, you knowamine in the room and how they interacted and found one another versus the standalone dates and wondering do you mean what guy was going to get the girl?
It was like it was just it was so representative of life, and I feel like the guys that went on that show kind of back to the friendships are the most important thing. They they found so much. They found people that they could empathize with, they could communicate with, they had similar interests like the friendships. When they got kicked off the show, they were most sad about leaving each other, and not that they didn't like the girl, do you know what I mean, or like the guy
when it was the bachelor. That was the experience, and I think it helped them get them out of their comfort zone to know that in real life they could start, you know, taking steps to go on dates. But it was like finding kindred spirits and people out there that like they could relate to it. It was seriously like it was beautiful, Thelma.
What new things do we want to push ourselves to do in twenty twenty five? I can tell you what I think we should do. Well, I know what I would really like to do if I can somehow swing it is. I would love to go live somewhere else for a month. I think that would be really good for me to experience somewhere new by myself for a month and see what changes can come my way. And at the very least, I can start by going to have dinner at South Beverly World by myself at the bar,
which will be absolutely terrifying. But I think that would be a really good challenge for me.
And didn't you maybe see your ex boyfriend alone at the bar there? So that might be a little awkward. I think we might need a new spot.
Yes, for sure. I mean anything by the way that was awful. But I think those kind of challenges we need to do. What about you, how are you going to challenge yourself?
Well, I told you, I think I'm gonna I'm going to move for the summer right to where we always go, but stay stay there for the summer.
I didn't know this is this true? Yeah? Wait, no, I can I come be the.
A lone purpose. But I've been thinking about doing that. Yeah, I mean I talked about it with my young aunt and she really wants to work there for the summer, and she's able to get a job there, So thinking that like picking up and moving for the sun, just rip.
The rug out from underneath my feet.
Well, maybe I can visit you in your location and you can visit me.
No, I'm coming with you period, or I might be remarried. And I'm joking. This has been so fun. I love doing this. I love talking about all of this because we are just normal. We're not celebrities. We're normal, we're older, we're bumbling along, you know, trying on a bunch of different things, winning at some succeeding at other. But I have to say, you know, it's all normal, it's all par for the course. And at the very least, you know, I.
Have no regrets.
Yeah, and hopefully you know, these listeners find us, you know, doing what they're doing, and you know, throw us some questions, reach out to us. What do you want to hear? What do you want to talk about? We're really open books. We can be totally self deprecating. We do not take our life ourselves too seriously. And we're here so you know, real people going through it and you know, not totally winning all the time. They are really sometimes, but let's be real, there are hard moments.
Yeah, but that's why you have your friends.
Right, So call us, email us, follow us on our socials. You know, look at the show notes, all of our info is there. Falling in love is the main objective, but while you're not in love, loving your life is the main objective and loving yourself agree. Happy holidays, take care