You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hi, Hi, Hi, it's me Jenny. Welcome to the I Choose Me Podcast. You are all showing up for our new podcast, and I am so grateful. I'm reading all of your reviews and your comments and I'm just loving all of it. This spot is for you, guys, So I want you to tell me what you want to hear about from me. What topic do you want us to delve into. What decision have maybe you made that you want to talk about,
and tell us what you learned from it. Let us know. I have a question for you. Do you believe in trusting your gut making decisions based on instinct? This next story is an example of when I trusted my gut on one of the biggest choices I ever had to make decision that would alter the trajectory of my life forever. And I had to make this decision when I was only seventeen years old. But first I want to introduce you to another member of my team, my life team.
Randy James started as a page at ABC, the network ABC, you know the one, when he was only eighteen years old, and quickly rose through the ranks of the company to become the director of casting for the whole network. In nineteen eighty six, he started his own talent management company at the age of twenty nine. He is my longtime manager, my best friend, my father figure, my discoverer. I call him mister Showbiz and you can too.
Hey, Jenny Garth.
Don't ever call me by my full name. That makes me feel like I'm in trouble.
Look at you with your own podcast.
Are you proud now?
I possibly be any prouder. This is so cool, This is so exciting.
We're talking about choices, Randy.
I know, I know, we've all made a few.
Good Yep, you chose me, I chose you. That's a whole nother story. We'll tell that another time. But today I want to talk about the choice to do Beverly Hill's line Up two one now, and you were there.
I was there, and I'll bet a lot of people don't know. But it actually was a choice because you had two different shows that were interested in you, that wanted you, and you had to make a choice between them.
That's right.
It was not an easy choice.
Wow, I forget about that that there was another show on the table. It wasn't like it was another offer on the table. It was just another audition, right, Well.
No, they actually wanted you. So, yes, you were in a position where you could have had either show.
At the time, Wow, look at me.
Just to get give a little context for the listener. When you came out, it was nineteen eighty nine and you had done a couple of things. You did one episode of Growing Pains. Do you remember that?
Yes? I do. I remember the line you want to hear it?
Yeah, I would love to hear it.
Sticky, sticky, sticky. And that was it. Sticky, sticky, sticky. That was my line.
You don't remember, you know what. It's amazing, but it escaped me momentarily.
There I reminded you.
Then the other thing you did, I don't know if you were you'll, well, of course remember this. You did a TV movie I think it was for Disney called Teen Angel Returns.
Starring Jason Priestley.
How crazy is that?
That's right, we played in a movie together. I don't think we were like love interests or anything. I really don't remember at all.
And then you did a short lived series called A Brand New Life where you played Barbara Eden's daughter and By the way, that should be an episode of your podcast. You should bring Barbara on because she's such an influence on you.
She has a huge influence on me, Like as an actress, I want let's Booker Booker Dano. We need her on the show. But let's talk about okay. So the shows that we were looking at. One was something called Whole Street High, right, right.
I think it ended up going on there as Hull High, Hole High, Yes, And that was an NBC pilot. A little bit of background. NBC, I believe at the time was the number one network.
Fuck.
Huge Box was this upstart network that had just come on the scene that really not a whole lot of people were.
Watching, right, It didn't even exist until what nineteen eighty nine.
Right, I mean nine o two one. I was one of the first series nine to two one. I ended up, along with The Simpsons, being the one of the shows that really launched that network, that got people to start watching it. Now. Hull High was the concept of the show. It was a set in a high school, but there was a major singing and dancing component, and it was directed and the series was going to be directed by a guy named Kenny Ortega. Which most people today remember
from High School Musical. He directed the High School Musical.
And all the dancing and all the numbers, all the dance was master.
Before that, he did all of the choreography for Dirty Dancing, for Madonna's videos, for San Elmo's Fire. I mean, he was a major, major force in that world, the world that so the fact that he was a part of Hull High and Hull High was going to be on the number one network was huge. Aran Spelling was at that time god going through kind of a lull in his career. He had been super super successful when he was had all the shows on ABC, right, and I.
Knew about all those shows like I watched The Love Vote. I grew up with Aaron Spelling shows.
Charlie's Angels, Dynasty, The Love Boat, Fantasy Island. Now, I was at ABC in those days and ABC was There were only three networks and ABC was number three. It was doing really, really poorly. They started working with Aaron and it went to number one all because of him. In fact, they used to joke and say that ABC stood for Aaron's Broadcasting Company. So now Aaron came up with this show along with Darren Starr, for Fox, and so it really was a risk because Aaron wasn't hot
at that moment. X was this new.
Network nobody knew about.
Yeah, nobody knew about. So it really was a risk. I actually, because of my experience working with Aaron at ABC, I didn't count this guy out. He was an absolute genius and here he had an opportunity to work with this fledgling television network who was probably really thrilled to work with him. And I thought that that possibly could be just the right combination.
Yeah, and you sort of guided me in that direction a little bit, and I remember thinking, Wow, this is incredible to be at the sort of fork in a road where I get to have two things on the table to decide between. And it was a I remember being like, I don't know what to do. This is it was scary, you know, it's a very big decision.
It is. And there was one other piece of this, which is when I first met you. The first time I saw you, I saw you dancing. That's right, Yeah, And in Hull High it was all about dance. That's why they had Kenny Ortegas. So that was another sort of if you're doing the pros and com that was another one for a Hull High, So it really was.
Which one they kind of balance each other out. But honestly, doing the show with Fox and for Aaron Spelling was a riskier.
Move on paper. It absolutely was. There was no question about that. And that's why at the end of the day, it really came down to you having to go with your gut on this, because all I can do is your manager is say, well, here pros and here are the cons and here's what could happen. But I've learned in this business that it's this is not a business. It's based on science, you know, or based on statistics. And over the years, I've seen many examples where what
everybody thought was going to happen didn't happen. I mean, back in ninety four, there were two shows that were set in hospitals that were procedural shows. One was called Chicago Hope and it was produced by DAVIDY Kelly, who was a huge producer at the time, and the other
one was called Er. And at the time, everyone in the business thought that Chicago Hope was going to take off and be this enormous success and run for you know, ten years, and Er, you know, was going to peter out, not go anywhere now Chicago Hope did Day on the air for a few years. But Er became Er and gave us George Clooney, Oh, the gift, the gift. The gift. George Clueney changed George Clooney's career because he had been
around for a while. He had auditioned for US at ABC on all kinds of things, and he'd been working here and there. But he made a choice. He went on that show and against probably almost everybody in the business's guests, Er became the juggernaut that it became and launched his career in a lot of other people's careers too. So at the end of the day, it had to come down to a gut decision that you had to make.
That I had to make. What I was sixteen, seventeen years old, right, How can sixteen or seventeen year old make a gut decision of that magnitude.
Well, you you had input from me, you had input you know, other people in your life. But at the end of the day, I think that there was probably probably even if you don't remember, the conscious conversation that you had with yourself at the end of the day, something about this decision had to feel right, and I
think that's why. I think that's why they call it a gut decision, because sometimes it's not a conscious, intellectual decision that you make, but just a feeling that maybe you can't even articulate or explain, you know.
I mean that happens a lot when you make a choice. Then you just go with your gut, and it's really scary, but that's like the ultimate decision maker. I think if we listen to our guts, listen to you know, that little voice inside of us. And that's what I did. I took all of your advice, and I took all of the pros and all of the cons, and I was just like, I choose Beverly Hills nine or two on it. Oh that's the show for me. And I didn't know why I chose it, but I did.
Here we are, I'm definitely happy. Let me ask you a question that I don't know if we've ever discussed when you went on to Beverly Hills nine O two and zero. Because most people in the industry teenagers, a lot of them, and this is the case I think with every one of your co stars on that show started in the industry when they were kids. I think all of them worked as kids in the industry, or at least you know, had been in the business for a while.
You're so right, every single one of them. Yeah, Sanna, jason Ian definitely was, Brian was Gab was Tory what everybody.
And they had all been doing it for a while. And you had just blown into town basically a year before.
I had just gotten off the bus.
But I'm wondering how that felt. I don't know if you've ever heard the expression imposter syndrome, which is a phrase that's used with actors in the entertainment industry, but I think it can apply to a lot of areas where you find yourself in a job where you're there, but there's a little voice in your head that says, what am I doing here? I think all these people
maybe made a huge mistake. And I'm just wondering if you ever had that feeling when you got on this show and you looked around and you had done a little bit of work, but not much, and you'd only been here for a year and you're working with all of these people, if you ever felt that.
Way, I mean that's interesting that you should ask that question. I do remember being at the first read through, the first like gathering of the whole cast. We were at Aaron Spelling's house, and I just remember being out of my mind and nervous, like seriously kind of out of my body. That was that kind of experience. And yeah, I surely felt that then. I didn't know that it
was called imposter syndrome. I didn't even know what imposter syndrome was until very recently and someone told me about it and I was like, oh, wow, okay, yeah, I had that yesterday. I literally have that on a daily basis something I'm working on.
Well, I think doing this podcast, I think hopefully you're going to be able to work through your imposter syndrome, and maybe we do a whole episode just on that, and we take questions from the audience or experiences that some of your fans listeners have had and how they maybe can apply the things that you've learned to work through that those feelings that they have of not feeling that they deserve or have earned where they are, because the truth of the matter is, you actually did deserve
everything that you've gotten. You wouldn't have gotten that job if you hadn't gone in there and beaten out a whole lot of other.
People for it, I guess so, so you.
Did deserve to be there. But then all of us have that little voice in our head that says, I don't deserve to be here. What have these people done? This is crazy? And that's something that probably a lot of people can.
Relate to in their own Absolutely, I mean, that's a huge topic. We definitely definitely need to talk about that, because not only did I struggle with it when I was a young girl, I've struggled with it my whole life, and I struggle with it literally this past weekend, like it's something that you have to learn how to control. But yeah, I definitely had it back then. So I see how that decision really impacted the overall trajectory of
my entire life. Like that moment was a defining moment when I decided to say yes to Beverly Hills nine two and oh and I decided to jump into that cast and go on that ride. You know what a profound impact it had on my life. I mean, were you scared at all when you see you saw what was happening?
Yes, because aficionados of nine O two and oh may remember that the show was not an instant hit. It struggled and Hull High did go on the air. It went on for a few episodes. I don't think it ran a full season. Was canceled, I think part way through. But both shows were on the air, and both shows were struggling, And it wasn't until the summer summer.
The summer episodes, the bathing.
Why don't you tell the listeners who may not be what happened in the summer, Oh my gosh.
The producers were genius. They saw that the show wasn't doing well. People we didn't know about it, you know. And also Fox was a smaller network, so it didn't have the like wide release that you would want a show like that to have, and they decided to while all the other shows on network television were showing reruns because they were taking a break in their production schedules, so they decided to continue shooting throughout the summer and
play those episodes during the summer months. So when people had the option to watch the same old rerun that they had watched a million times, or to watch this new show about Beverly Hills. I think it started to grab people's attention, and that's when we got that sort of momentum building up. You know, we found our audience.
Isn't that when they introduced the beach Club and they did all of this.
Yeah, it didn't hurt that we were all in bikinis and right, and then the guys are shirtless. Yep, that'll get you some ratings. So a good choice on their part, for sure.
Yeah.
Absolutely, what if I hadn't made the choice? Can you imagine, like, I mean, the sky's the limit on that imagination, what my life would be like if I hadn't done Beverly Hills nine or two or zero? Who knows?
Well, yeah, because you know, this is such a brutal business. And you go back and you look at the cast of Hull High and they were all good actors, and the young lady that got your role is a good actress. But they've gone on and they've all worked here and there, But I don't think that any of them went on to have the kind of career that the cast of your show had, or certainly, you know, no one's talking about them or those roles thirty years down the road.
So yeah, yeah, you're like, thank you life. I mean, it's just like a force, you know, Like in life, sometimes you don't know you're making choices, but you're making some really big ones. And this was one of those moments for me, and I could have never never known how it would end up. Do you think that there's an element of fate for all of us in our choices?
Like you can measure the pros and the cons all you want, when you can write it down and listen and talk about them to your shrink or whatever you need to do, But there's that element inside all of us, like you said, that little voice, that gut instinct, call it fate if you will do you think, yeah, it works right?
And I think the message I think is that maybe it's important to almost like an exercise. You need to train your body to be able to do certain things, whether you want to be a runner or a swimmer or whatever. Maybe there's a process where we have to
train our brains to listen for that instinctual message. And yeah, you know, you can rack that message up to fate or God or the universe or whatever, but the important thing is to hear it and not have it drowned out by all the other voices in your head, because I think statistically, on paper, if you went through those two choices that you had, the statistical choice to make would have been hull high for all the reasons that we discussed.
And I know for me, when I'm faced with a decision, especially like a career decision, where you basically say, here are all the pros and here all the cons and you really do help me break it down and think it through. But then at the end of that conversation you also say, but it's up to you, and I will support you whatever you decide. So you hand it back to me, and I'm like, oh God, well, scary.
But the truth is, even if I can't make the decision in that moment, I usually will take some time with it and sit with it and really, like you said, get quiet and listen to my inner voice, my instinct, and then go with that because when I get that direct message from the core of who I am, I know that's the right decision every time. Even if it's the wrong decision, it's the right decision.
You've said before, there been times that you've made the wrong decision or the wrong choice in your life, but there's also a way of looking at those choices and recognizing that sometimes you have to look at things from the perspective and the luxury of looking at it from a year down the road or further. My wife has a phrase that she's always used, could be good, could be bad. And sometimes in the moment, you don't know if whatever is happening to you in the moment is
good or bad. But you look back at that moment six months, a year or more, then you realize, oh wow, I didn't realize it at the time. I thought that was one of the worst things that ever happened to me. But if that hadn't happened, that wouldn't have led to this, and that wouldn't have led to this exactly. But you realize if it wasn't for that at the time quote unquote wrong choice, you wouldn't be in this place where you are right now, you know, a year or two down the road, and.
From where I sit now. When I look back on that decision that I made to be on the show, I never I don't think I ever came to you and said, oh I think I made the wrong decision. I think I made the wrong choice because it was such a great experience. Yeah, even the you know, the good, the bad, and the ugly of all of those ten years, it was the right decision.
Yeah. Well I have another question for you.
Oh I like it when you ask you questions, Randy, mister Shobiz. Sorry.
When this show took off, it took off in a way that not many shows, even super successful shows, take off, because it really was a touchstone for young people, for teenagers. It spoke to them in a way no other show had spoken to them before the level of fandom went from zero to sixty in a very short amount of time. You went from just being kind of a normal kid, if I could call you a kid, to which you were still a teenager at that time, to literally not being able to go to the mall or to go
anywhere without being mobbed. I mean famously, there was there was an autograph signing an event at a mall that you and Luke went to, and it became so crazy that the state police had to be called in and they had to like smuggle to take the two of you out of the thing because they were seriously afraid. People were fainting and bodies were being passed up onto
the stage and oh my god, sanity bananas. What was that like for the young girl who's pastime prior to this was riding her huffey through cemeteries and talking to dead people.
I can see that that's going to be the clickbait now that I talk to dead people, which is fine because I do. I love it. Wow, Yeah, you were there, I think for some of those. I remember one of it where you were there in the stage was like moving and then all of a sudden you like hustled me out of there.
Right.
Yeah, that was.
Wild when I booked you into that, and I think that was the first one that you went to.
I think it was by myself. I was by myself on that one.
We're by yourself on that one. And if I remember correctly, it was an Indiana and it was the first indoor mall ever in the country. And I was talking to the manager of the place and I said, listen, you know what kind of security do you have here, because there's going I think there's going to be like levels of crowds that you've never seen before. And he said, do you know how long I've been doing this? And do you know how long this mall has been open
and we've had all kinds of people here. Don't worry about the security we've you know, we've we've got our six security guys and they've been here for well.
The voice he used to.
I was, yes, exactly that it's still in my head. We got there and the six security guys were a little bit overwhelmed. I mean it was completely nuts.
Yeah, there were people up above us hanging off the railings insanity. I was like, wait, what is happening? Who are they here to see? They're here to see me? It felt surreal, like completely like a movie of some kind. I had to like step outside of myself to get through that. And basically those are the times when I learned, you it's go time, Like, it doesn't matter how fraid you are, it doesn't matter that you've never done this before, it doesn't matter that you're doing this on your own.
It's go time.
Just do it right.
And I think that's been like something that served me well for the rest of my life is sometimes you know, like when I'm about to go do a talk show or an appearance somewhere, Yeah, I have to tell myself, like it's go time, let's go do this.
Don't be afraid that took a lot of guts for you, because in those days, because you'd never been in the public eye and you were not I don't think you were anybody that ever craved attention like that. No, you were very uncomfortable with people even staring at you, or being in crowds of people or being the center of attention. And here you were, I think there were like eight to ten thousand people in this mall screaming, and you could very easily have said, I can't go out there.
There's no way I could go out there. I'm sorry, but you knew you didn't have a choice. And by the way, you were going to say a few words and then you're going to sit down, and all eight thousand of those people were going to theoretically come up to you and take pictures with you, and you'd be signing autographs and having to have like an interaction with all of them. You had to be in a full blown panic given the person that you were at that time.
Yeah, I was cutting my teeth and learning how to deal with stuff like that my future, basically, And I got thrown right into the deep end on that one, for sure, because yeah, like you said, I am not a person that likes the spotlight. I've never been in the spotlight. I grew up I had older half sisters and older half brothers, and I was the baby of the family. So I spent a lot of time not wanting anybody to give me extra special attention because I wanted my sisters and my brothers to see me as
equal to them. Like I didn't want any special treatment. I didn't want. I don't want my light to shine any brighter than anyone else's. And that's kind of how I walk through life. And I was not used to going to the store and having people stare at me like you said, or you know, follow me to my car, or having a pop rozzi take pictures of me. It was also foreign to me. And I remember when I wasn't doing events like that that were planned out and
like you know, I was prepared for. I would stay home. I started to develop agoraphobia, where you don't leave the house, you don't go out, and you have somebody else go get your things you need and then you just stay home. And I started to do that. It was very isolating and very lonely, and it made it even worse when I did have to go out and perform, you know, or go do my job.
The other thing, too, is that leading up to that, you were working fifteen hour days and the studio was located in a very weird place. You weren't on a film lot, you know, on a movie studio. It was sort of in an industrial complex that Aaron had rented out in the middle of this San Fernando Valley. I think they were shooting porn movies.
They say so.
The rumor has it. And like you said, when you when you weren't working, you were at home. But the other part of it is that Los Angeles is kind of a town that is used to seeing famous people. So even when you did go out in Los Angeles, for the most part, you probably didn't get the same level of fandom that you would going to a town in Indiana.
I didn't even care. I stayed home, Like even I remember just being home a lot and doing lots of baking, lots of arts and crafts during that time period. Whenever I didn't have, you know, when I wasn't on set, I would just stay home and garden or something. I'm still kind of like that.
Randy there you are. Yeah, but you've you've also, as you've you've proven again and again you've gone to a place that was so out of your comfort zone. Just recently, I just saw you stand up at an event for the American Heart Association and speak to hundreds of women who were leaders of business, cardiologists, all of these people and spoke to them, and you did it so wonderfully.
And this is a testament to how far you've come, because I'm sure that little girl in writing her Huffey couldn't have imagined ever being in New York City standing up and talking to a crowd like that from for half an hour.
Now, that room was intense. There were probably like five hundred people there. I was not prepared for that, but sometimes you just jump in. It's go time, you gotta do it.
So what's the message for your listeners who can't imagine going from where they are now in their lives to where they would like to be.
I mean, I would just remind them of this decision that I made and let that inspire them. I mean, choosing nine to two and l was one of the biggest decisions of my life. I played that character for ten years a decade. She became a part of who I am in all of the best ways, and that show took me around the world. It's given me immense opportunities. Even thirty years later, I get to attend conventions with my og cast, and I get to have a podcast about it. I get to have my own podcast. It's
like the gift that keeps on giving. You know that show, that decision. I would say that if you're sitting out there and you're faced with a decision, whether it's a career decision or a personal decision, whatever it is, even if it seems daunting, trust your gut, period. It has
all the answers, and it's right every time. We all have access to our gut, the clear answers, our best thinking, but we second guess it because we don't trust ourselves, or sometimes we want instant gratification, that easy way out. So sometimes when we're faced with a decision, faced with tuning in to our natural instinctual awareness, we abandon ourselves in that moment, and we know when we're doing it. You know that feeling when you hear yourself say you
shouldn't be doing this, but you do it anyway. In that exact moment you didn't choose yourself. We abandon ourselves all the time. Learning to listen to our gut takes discipline. We have to be able to get quiet. We have to be able to get quiet and push aside all those outside voices and opinions that are constantly ricocheting around
in our heads. When I'm faced with a big choice, a big decision, and I like to do this, I like to close my eyes and take a few deep breaths, and then I ask myself, what is the right decision for my highest good and for the highest good for all involved? And then I wait for the answer. My beautiful friend Jennifer Schaeffer taught me that little trick tuning into my intuition, listening to my instincts has served me time and time again. So can we all try that
next week. Let's listen to ourselves a little more. Let's listen for those gut instincts, even if you just take notice of them. That's a great start to learning to listen and trust ourselves. I don't know about you, but I feel like this is my life. Who else am I going to trust to make the right decisions for me? I love you now. I want you to go to the mirror and tell yourself you love you too. And I hear you. This may seem so. It might be hard for you to look into your eyes like that.
It was hard for me at first, but I promise you, if you do this with me, even just once a week, like every Wednesday, after you listen to this podcast, go to the mirror and tell yourself you love yourself, you are going to see a noticeable positive change in your life. And you know what, I'm not going to stop asking you to do it, so you might as well. I'll be right here next week. I hope you will too,