Networking can sometimes feel like a dirty word. It's like the evil twin sister of making friends. But according to Business Chicks founder and global CEO Emma Isaacs, networking and making friends really the same thing. So how can we share that icky feeling so that you can embrace the fun of meeting new people? And how can we become better at listening? And what are some tasteful ways to
exit a conversation. My name is doctor Amantha Imber. I'm an organizational psychologist and the founder of behavioral science consultancy Inventium. And this is how I work, a show about how to help you do your best work. What today is my favorite tip? Episode, we go back to an interview from the past and I pick out my favorite tip from that chat. In today's extract, I speak with Emma Isaacs about how we can become better at networking.
I think probably the key thing of any person who wants to be a bit more charismatic or wants to be a better networker is definitely to ask more questions and to listen more than you speak. And I know that sounds really one o one, but it's so interesting that you know, of all the networking I've done over the years, and the live networking events I've been to.
You see people and you say that they're very nervous and lovel anxiety, and that makes them talk more and you sort of get into this rhythm of them just talking at you, and that's the fastest way to lose someone's attention. It's the fastest way to actually turn someone off. So I would encourage anyone who wants to get better at their networking to ask more questions and listen more than they speak, and also to be comfortable with the silence.
You can ask a question and if the person is considering their answer, don't feel you have to feel that void. So I always say, you know, just to feel the pause and don't be awkward there. I think the number one thing that we can order to be better at networking is to be one hundred percent present. So that
means really great eye contact, it means active listening. It means not looking over the person's shoulder to see who else is walking in the room that might, you know, be a better conversationalist or whatever it is you're looking for. So I think really deeply listening is a skill that we all need to master and I think being present is the next one. And I think it's also okay to learn some skills of how to exit a conversation and how to be really clear with why you're at
a networking event. So it is fine to say, hey, Matt, I really loved our chat, but I'm here to meet as many people as I can tonight. So I'm just going to give you my card if you're happy to have my details, and I'm going to go work the room. You to make a joke of it, and that's completely fine to do that as well. I think often we get stuck in these conversations at networking events where we don't know how to get out of them, and that
could be really awkward. But I think I think it's about again, you know, placing the other person at ease and placing them as a central of your attention and holding a space for them. So I do it all business chicks events. Try and be very very calm myself. You know, I often say I am like a duck, like I might look like it's you know, from the surface, it looks all lovely, but underneath thinking of a million things. But I if I can calm my thoughts and take
a deep breath and be with the person. Then that's a really good start. And I think also it's and if this comes with maturity as well, I think, but not worrying about what people think of you. I think we spend so much time fretting and then thinking, what is you thinking? I'm smart enough? If by saying the
right things, am I you know this is good? And it just just let just try and quieten that monkey that sits on most of our shoulders and just be with the person, be present with them, ask a lot of questions, look into their eyes, and you know you'll find it becomes easier and easier. I just think a lot of people go in with this intent to kind of meet one hundred people and get a thousand business cards, and that's very stressful. Like just just going with no
expectations and just try and enjoy yourself. And I think ultimately people can consense if you know your realness and your hate the word authenticity, but it's a truth here. You know, it's about showing up with a sense of purpose and say I'm here, I'm here to serve others, I'm here to connect others, I'm here to hold the space. I'm here to be calm and people will they'll read that and they won't forget you for it.
I hope that you've got a tip or two that you can apply to help you feel more comfortable when you're networking and maybe bring some more joy to it rather than discomfort. And if you are enjoying How I Work, I'd love it if you could leave a review for the show. It is one of the best ways to help other people find How I Work, and so you can do that by just leaving a star rating or
writing a few words wherever you're listening to. This podcast from How I Work is produced by Inventium with production support from Dead Set Studios. And thank you to Martin Nimba, who does the audio mix for every episode and makes this show sound much better than it would have otherwise. See you next time.