Confusion alert: This episode was recorded 6.12.14. It was originally an episode of The Phoenix West Show back when that was a video movie review show. Now it has been repurposed as LIW episode 59. The reason it has been ignored until almost a year to the day is because the video/audio is out of synch but since it is no longer a video show but instead an audio show, it doesn't really matter. I will post the original video to YouTube if you can bear it being out of synch. I have zero desire to fi...
Jun 15, 2015•Season 3Ep. 1
In this installment we learned the true timeline of WW2. Turns out we were all wrong. Puppet Master had it right and now we have to get busy rewriting our history books. Heil history!
Jun 07, 2015•48 min•Season 2Ep. 55
In this installment we barely talk bout the movie we watched. In fact, all we really mention about it is that Corey Feldman is 34 in the movie but is made up to be an old father despite being only about 7 years older than his daughter. He even talks with a fake old man voice. Terrible. Turns out Phoenix had already seen this movie very recently but completely removed it from his memory. We spend the episode talking about recent TV shows (Breaking Bad, The Wire, Weeds and upcoming Gotham). Then w...
Jun 07, 2015•1 hr•Season 2Ep. 54
In this installment we are forced to revisit the first 7 Puppet Master movies against our will because this movie is a fucking clip-show. Shame on you Charles Band, shame on you. We mostly discuss Josh Hartnett and how we haven't seen him in a while. This movie was a pointless piece of shit that apparently starred the Dos Equis Most Interesting Man In The World dude. Don't waste your time watching this.
Jun 07, 2015•55 min•Season 2Ep. 53
In this installment, you know what? Fuck it. In the 7th movie they rewrote their own history more times than a drunk grandpa making up war stories. This one made absolutely no sense, from the opening in 1944 to a random event leading to a flashback to 1892 that involves first draft versions of the puppets we know and love, bad guys from first century Egypt that look like the strangers from Dark City but sound like Darth Vader, to a completely foreign cast that couldn't speak in any accent or act...
Jun 07, 2015•57 min•Season 2Ep. 52
In this installment, we watched the 6th Puppet Master movie and had a hard time keeping our shit together. This was the most poorly made PM movie yet but it was more enjoyable than all the rest combined. This movie follows Tank, a child-like retard as he becomes a puppet maker, sex machine and eventually the puppet master. This movie was released in 1998 but it appears to have been 1992 pretending to be 1943. It was a confusing shitpile of a movie.
Jun 07, 2015•54 min•Season 2Ep. 51
In this installment, Phoenix and Richard realize that you CAN put out the exact same movie with a different title and not be called on your bullshit. We spend most of the time doing Michael Caine impressions and talking about nonsense and about 1/3 of the episode is about the actual movie we watched. Enjoy!
Jun 07, 2015•1 hr 15 min•Season 2Ep. 50
In this installment we barely watched Puppet Master 4: The Demon. It was terrible. To be honest, most of this episode is just bullshitting about randomness instead of talking about the movie. We had to do this to avoid going insane.
Jun 07, 2015•1 hr 14 min•Season 2Ep. 49
In this installment we watched part 3 of the nonsensical series, Puppet Master. For the third movie in a row the writers of this series have re-written the history of their only overarching human character; Toulon. This movie is basically what would happen if Anne Frank's story involved more puppets and slightly less Nazi's. Fucking boring movie.
Jun 07, 2015•49 min•Season 2Ep. 48
In this installment we continue to the sequel to Puppetmaster. However; things turned dim as we quickly realized the production values and acting talent took a quick swan dive for the sequel. This movie was a baffling mess of murder, rambling and sexual confusion that left us hopeful for part 3. Mostly, we were confused why Darkman was the puppet master in this one. Either that or Chevy Chase as the invisible man. Not really sure what happened in this one but we think it involved real dolls. You...
Jun 07, 2015•51 min•Season 2Ep. 47
We watched Puppetmaster and now we can predict the future of puppetry. It's a dead art, turns out. On this cross-over show (Richard from Midnight With Robert Shaw and Phoenix from Loitering In Wonderland) we go through the Puppetmaster movies one at a time. This is part 1 of 11 before we move on to greener pastures. Meaning another terrible series. Send your suggestions to [email protected]
Jun 07, 2015•1 hr 18 min•Season 2Ep. 46
On this episode of The Phoenix West Show, I decided to watch a movie that was recent enough to hold your attention. I watched X-Men: Days Of Future Past. The most confusing title since Speed 2: Cruise Control and Major League: Back To The Minors. It's either one or the other, choose one. Is it the future or the past? We may never know. However, I did watch the movie and surprise, for once I enjoyed it. That didn't stop me from making fun of it. Listen/watch and tell me what you think.
Jun 07, 2015•26 min•Season 2Ep. 45
(This is an audio only version of the video show, for video go to youtube.com/liwpodcast) On this episode of The Phoenix West Show, Phoenix breaks down the 2012 movie The ABC's Of Death letter by letter. Awful scene by awful scene. He also curses the name of Ti West because he's a terrible person. Stay tuned for more advances as far as the video/production goes.
Jun 06, 2015•1 hr•Season 2Ep. 44
(This is an audio only version of the video, for video go to youtube.com/liwpodcast) This time I focus my hate on 2011's You're Next which was actually released in 2013. Which should tell you something. This was was very pointless and slow which made for a recipe for booze.
Jun 04, 2015•20 min•Season 2Ep. 43
I'm going to put The Phoenix West show on here for your listening pleasure despite the fact that it is a video show. If you like what you hear go to youtube.com/liwpodcast for more. For episode 1 I watched The Hunger Games: Catchign It was a real treat. These will be shorter in the future. Hopefully. That's not a promise. (Spoiler alert: the episodes do not get shorter.)
Jun 04, 2015•16 min•Season 2Ep. 42
It was our Halloween episode so we watched Jason X and now we are confused why cowboys exist in the year 2455. Is your horror movie franchise starting to slip in the rental department? Fuck it! Head to space! That's what Jason X does for some reason. It follows the footsteps of other horror movie franchises Leprechaun and Hellraiser. This movie felt like soft-core porn without the tits. Although there is male nipple play that we found very erotic. Erotic and completely necessary in the middle of...
Oct 31, 2014•Season 2Ep. 41
We watched Timecop and now we have a craving for a guy doing the splits in short shorts. This movie is amazing. It managed to be a movie about JCVD kicking people in the face while not ONLY being a movie about JCVD kicking people in the face. It has an insane plot that they barely touch on. More time is spent explaining the fact that a man wants to become president. We recommend watching Timecop.
Oct 15, 2014•55 min•Season 2Ep. 40
We watched Mortal Kombat and found out that Joe is basically a bottomless pit of information about the series. Odd for a man that's done so little mortal combatting in his life. his is the fighting movie for people that love spelling errors.
Oct 01, 2014•49 min•Season 2Ep. 39
I watched Cursed and now I want to know where the holy fuck Joshua Jackson went. Is he on the Josh-island with Josh Hartnett? Oh, plus there is a bit of news on the show front after the review so listen up!
Sep 19, 2014•23 min•Season 2Ep. 38
We watched 47 Ronin and liked 12 out of the 47. This movie stars the white devil. It's about roning. To be honest, we weren't really sure what it was about. Something about righting a wrong that can only end in mass suicide. Fucking stupid. It was The Last Samurai mixed with 300 and TMNT 3. Terrible shit all around.
Sep 12, 2014•35 min•Season 2Ep. 37
We watched Jack And Jill and now we know that Adam Sandler was womb-mates with Satan. This movie was the reason the podcast was created and we finally got to it with episode 39. Hooray for us! The best parts of the movie were seconds before the credits and then during the credits. What a middle finger to us.
Sep 05, 2014•57 min•Season 2Ep. 36
We watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and it made us pine for the simpler days when we all lived in cabins on a snowy mountaintop in NYC. Or at least this movie thinks there is one. We actually all liked this movie for the most part.
Aug 29, 2014•42 min•Season 2Ep. 35
We watched The Expendables 3 (in the world's smallest theater) and now we want to hit up the gym and fill our mouths with cotton balls. Or just dude balls. This is the most homoerotic movie to hit cinemas since the last one. This movie was just 2 hours of boring. Oh, plus this is our homage to Robin Williams episode. We don't talk about him much in the episode because when we recorded it had just happened but the episode is bookended by his clips. Enjoy.
Aug 22, 2014•29 min•Season 2Ep. 34
We watched Rites Of Passage because Bri thought it looked like a shitty horror movie. Instead we got a halfway decent movie that had all the make-up of a horror movie without the horror. Christian Slater was dressed as a scarecrow that smoked a ton of meth and killed people with a shotgun. Oh, and he also saw and talked to a Mexican sock monkey that represented his dead white child. It was confusing but hilarious. Somehow in the course of this episode we forgot to mention our favorite parts; eve...
Aug 15, 2014•38 min•Season 2Ep. 33
We watched Drop Zone but then immediately watched Sharknado 2, recorded the episode for Sharknado 2 and then immediately recorded the episode for Drop Zone. It was confusing and Sharknado 2 raped our minds so that we forgot most of Drop Zone. Listen as we force ourselves remember it via blurry conversation. Rio is really dead set on opening a dive bar called The Dive Bar. Phoenix wants to name it Black Death but fears it conjures of thoughts of lynching and the plague. Brent wants the bathroom n...
Aug 08, 2014•1 hr 5 min•Season 2Ep. 32
We watched Sharknado 2: The Second One which premiered days before on SyFy and now we are certified marine biologists. Want proof? We are some of the few people that know that sharks can exist inside a tornado without water. This movie was twice as bad as the first one but took 20 extra actors down with it. This movie is fucking huge and fucking terrible. It's not clever. It's not funny. It's not so bad it's good. It's just fucking terrible and shouldn't be praised.
Aug 03, 2014•55 min•Season 2Ep. 31
We watched Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III and now that we've gone green, we cannot go back. This movie was chosen by Brad as his going away movie. It was a tear filled episode complete with lots of crying, hugging, name calling, asshole-ry and a shitty movie about time travel. Brad had to blow out his microphone twice more before leaving the show. This movie is also a fond LIW farewell to our first studio. This truly is a transition episode.
Jul 25, 2014•1 hr 8 min•Season 2Ep. 30
We watched House Party 5 and we learned a lot about how to throw a raging house party in which only one actual misfortune happens. For the first time in LIW history we had to re-do an episode. We recorded 45 minutes of material that mysteriously vanished so we had to restart. It pissed us off but we managed. We also have a new phrase to use on the show: toilet porn. This movie was apparently a comedy. It was rated R but it felt more like a D-Com with a thousand times more 'fucks'. Also, if you h...
Jul 18, 2014•27 min•Season 2Ep. 29
I watched Olympus Has Fallen and then immediately watched White House Down and tried to remember which was which. It's a VERSUS episode and the winner was very evident before the opening credits of each movie. Prepare for a solo episode featuring only myself. - Phoenix West
Jul 11, 2014•33 min•Season 2Ep. 28
We watched Born To Win and now we associate a serious heroin addiction and lazy thievery as 'winning'. This movie was impossible to see or hear properly because of a terrible video transfer to the DVD format. This movie says it stars Robert DeNiro but he was only in 2 scenes so we felt betrayed. This movie was apparently about the New York heroin scene. It was impossible to follow.
Jul 04, 2014•45 min•Season 2Ep. 27
