For many of us it is easy to give, but harder to receive. Why is this? In this week’s episode you’ll get an inside look into your brain and why you resist love and other good things. Hint: It is because of your thoughts about you, thoughts about others, or beliefs of how the world works. Want to know how to become more open to love? And how it is hurting you not to be open to it? Make sure to give this episode a listen. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leav...
Apr 29, 2022•19 min•Ep. 86
In this episode, I interview special guest Ashlee Boyson. Ashlee Boyson is the author of the blog and book series titled “The Moments We Stand,” in which she shares her family's journey of healing after the infidelity and murder of her husband Emmett in 2011, just months after giving birth to their fifth baby. Ashlee has been given the unique experience of sharing Emmett’s story on Dateline, Dr. Phil, American Monster, Investigation Discovery, True Crime Daily, and several other murder mystery i...
Apr 22, 2022•49 min•Ep. 85
Do you ever get frustrated that you are not further along than you think you should be? Do you have moments where you feel like you are back at square one? While this is all normal, in this episode I will teach you about “the messy middle,” the space between where you are and where you are going. This space can feel very uncomfortable, frustrating, and like you are taking a step backwards. Listen to understand the crucial steps to moving from the messy middle to the other side where you are heal...
Apr 15, 2022•25 min•Ep. 84
Do you have thoughts that you can’t seem to keep at bay? You are just going about your day, and something comes to mind that you can’t stop thinking about? Then you need to go ask, or go look at phones, emails and messages on a frantic search for answers. Sound familiar? Although this is very common, it can be a setback to healing and moving forward. In this episode you will learn the difference between helpful things to watch out for and ones that will lead you nowhere. You will also know what ...
Apr 08, 2022•21 min•Ep. 83
As common as hearing about mental strength may be, we don’t often hear about it in reference to infidelity. We talk a lot about feelings, healing, forgiveness, and moving on. But where does mental strength come in? Developing mental toughness is everything when it comes to infidelity. When we get hurt, our brains want to keep us safe from future pain by giving us all the warnings of any real or perceived danger. After experiencing infidelity, it can become difficult to get out of thought loops t...
Apr 01, 2022•33 min•Ep. 82
In the aftermath of infidelity, relationships often change. While there are many reasons for this, it can be painful and lonely. We are all wired for connection - we seek and crave it, yet it can seem harder than ever to make solid friendships. In this episode, I interview guest Jewel Hohman about the importance of friendship and some practical ways of developing new relationships that last. Jewel Hohman is a friendship expert and a professionally certified coach. She helps people stop overthink...
Mar 25, 2022•41 min•Ep. 81
It is human nature to see faults in others, and much more difficult to see it in ourselves. In this episode, I’ll teach you why self-confrontation is an essential ingredient to growth, intimacy and healing. We can ask others to tell us what we want to hear, but it does not promote real growth. Self-confrontation allows us to see ourselves as we really are rather than what we want to see. Even though it can be painful, it allows us to expand into fuller, more mature versions of ourselves. Listen ...
Mar 18, 2022•19 min•Ep. 80
To show up as our best selves in any relationship, we must know how to calm ourselves down when emotions become overwhelming. Many of us have been taught that it is the responsibility of our partner to help calm us when in reality, it is our own. In this episode, we’ll go in deep as to why learning how to self-soothe ultimately is the greatest gift you can give yourself as you navigate infidelity or any other challenge. When we don’t give someone else responsibility for how we feel, we get to de...
Mar 11, 2022•24 min•Ep. 79
In every relationship there will be issues that one of you will care more about than the other. This is normal. Where we get ourselves in trouble is when we get into marital gridlock and stay in it. In this episode, I will cover various ways high desire/ low desire shows up in marriage and other relationships and why we respond the way we do to our loved ones. When we understand our reactions better, we are better able to decide how we want to show up and stand up for the things that matter to u...
Mar 04, 2022•21 min•Ep. 78
Do you have moments (or days, or weeks) where you feel small, invisible and not at all like “yourself?” As flawed humans, it can be very easy to lose ourselves when faced with conflict yet learning the art of holding onto ourselves is what will help us move forward the most. In this episode, you’ll learn what it means to hold on to yourself and why this is a game-changer for healing relationships. Instead of deferring to your spouse to let you know who you are and if you are okay, you’ll learn h...
Feb 25, 2022•32 min•Ep. 77
Every relationship has moments in time that make all the difference in which way the relationship goes. We either show up for ourselves or we don’t. We show up for our spouse or we don’t, and the consequences can be monumental. In this episode, you’ll learn about “Sliding Door Moments” and how these small snippets in time often determine the direction of our lives. Once we can identify what those moments are (the ones where we self-betray and the ones where either we don’t show up the way we wan...
Feb 18, 2022•25 min•Ep. 76
On the healing journey following infidelity, it can feel like you are not making any progress at all. It can be discouraging, overwhelming and downright depressing at times. So how do you know if you are progressing? Unlike other goals we make like losing pounds, earning a certain amount of money, etc. the healing process is less straight-forward to measure. In this episode, you’ll learn 3 ways to check in with yourself and measure your growth. You’ll be able to identify areas where you have gro...
Feb 11, 2022•24 min•Ep. 75
Be sure to listen to this announcement as Andrea will be sharing some upcoming changes that will interrupt the show temporarily. Please click the button to subscribe so you don't miss any episodes and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! For transcripts and other available downloads, please visit our website at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2022 Andrea Giles
Jan 07, 2022•3 min
In this episode, Andrea is a guest on the “Love Starts Here” podcast with life coach Melissa Snow. This episode covers the tough topics of how to trust again and whether or not it is a wise decision to do so, and the importance of building up trust in yourself first before deciding to trust someone else. We also discuss Andrea’s #1 tip for how to decide to stay or leave so you can make that decision without second guessing yourself. Melissa Snow is a Certified Life Coach who helps women improve ...
Dec 31, 2021•30 min•Ep. 74
In this episode, Andrea is interviewed by Life Coach Mikki Gardner about how to put emotion aside and show up as the kind of parent you want to be after infidelity. This will be useful wherever you are on your journey. When emotions are running high, it can be very difficult to think clearly, especially when it comes to parenting our children. You want what is best for them, but we also may be in “survival mode,” not really seeing the big picture. This episode will help you navigate the rocky te...
Dec 24, 2021•29 min•Ep. 73
A few themes of this podcast are that we always have choices even when we feel we don’t, that the hardships we experience can catapult us towards our greatest growth, and that we can create the future we want. In this episode, Andrea gets personal with her recent experience of welcoming a new baby girl into the world and how it has enforced in her mind that things are always working in our favor. As difficult as infidelity and betrayal can feel, Andrea reminds her listeners that they have a brig...
Dec 17, 2021•19 min•Ep. 72
Does your relationship ever feel so tangled up with your spouse that you don’t know what thoughts and feelings are his and which are yours? In this episode, I interview guest therapist and Master coach Aimeé Gianni about what untangling is, how to spot it, and how to untangle. Most of us were raised to believe that we are responsible for the feelings of others. “Did you hurt their feelings?” is a question we were probably all asked. The problem this creates is that we can end up spending much mo...
Dec 10, 2021•40 min•Ep. 71
Have you wondered why your spouse strayed and if your marriage can ever be good again? You don’t want to miss this episode. Show guest Elisa Fucci shares, with transparency and honesty, her experience with infidelity and how her marriage is now better than it ever was before. She shares why she strayed and how she had to go through the difficult work of understanding herself and why she was prone to getting attention outside the marriage. For those of you who want to stay, but wonder if it’s pos...
Dec 03, 2021•38 min•Ep. 70
What kind of home did you grow up in? Were you allowed to speak your mind, be your own person and choose how you wanted to spend your time? How you related to your family as a child largely affects what kind of adult relationships you have. In this episode, I’ll be talking about a concept called differentiation which is all about our ability to keep hold of our own thoughts and feelings around those we care about without getting sucked into their thoughts and feelings and making them our own. Yo...
Nov 26, 2021•27 min•Ep. 69
Clear, open communication can be a hard skill to learn for anyone, but can be especially difficult for someone who has felt betrayed by their spouse. Yet it is a vital skill to learn, regardless of if you choose to stay married or not. In this episode, we’ll go into detail about why it can feel so unsafe to communicate with your partner, and how to help yourself feel safer. We’ll also discuss ways to enter the conversation, and when to shut it down. You’ll learn how to be a better advocate for y...
Nov 19, 2021•23 min•Ep. 68
How do we know if our spouse is taking responsibility for their infidelity? How do we know if we are really moving forward or just doing the same things we have always done? How long do we wait for something to happen before we make something happen ourselves? These are questions I hear a lot, and ones that are important to answer. Part of re-building trust after infidelity is knowing that our partner is not only being transparent with the facts, but also holding themselves accountable for the c...
Nov 12, 2021•27 min•Ep. 67
What if making mistakes is not a problem? What if the real problem is what we make those mistakes mean, or what others make them mean that we then internalize? In this episode, I’ll uncover a few of the reasons we are so afraid to make mistakes, and how we can build our own tolerance and resilience to the things we judge ourselves for. When we understand the difference between using mistakes as weapons to punish ourselves with and as tools to help us grow, we can open up to taking risks, speakin...
Nov 05, 2021•22 min•Ep. 66
In this episode, I’ll uncover why it feels safer to avoid wanting, and teach you what avoiding this question is costing you. You’ll come away with some strategies to use to tap into your own desires and wants, along with a strong reason “why” for pursuing the answer to that question. Please click the like button above and leave a review if your favorite podcast app has that ability. Thank you! More information at https://andreagiles.com/podcast/ © 2021 Andrea Giles...
Oct 29, 2021•23 min•Ep. 65
Although many of my clients choose to stay with their spouses after infidelity, many decide to leave their marriages. Over time, some of them decide they want to start dating again. There is much fear, trepidation, and often self-doubt that can surface. In this episode, I am interviewed by fellow coach and dating after divorce expert, Sade Curry. I share my personal story of dating my current husband and some of the challenges I dealt with. To be sure, dating can be an opportunity to see what ar...
Oct 22, 2021•51 min•Ep. 64
When life as we know it is turned upside down, it becomes very easy to believe we are alone, powerless, and a victim to what has been handed us. While we have been the victim of the deception of another, we tend to forget that in all things, no matter what, we still have choices. In this episode I will share through powerful analogies how we can use our own strength and wisdom to harness the power of the brain. When we learn how to manage our own brain, we take control back in our lives and inte...
Oct 15, 2021•26 min•Ep. 63
Is it love or attachment? Many of my clients want to stay in their relationships because they can’t imagine life without the other. Or their spouse says they want to stay married but my clients don’t feel safe or loved by their spouse. This can lead to a lot of confusion for everyone involved. If you wonder if you are truly in love with your spouse or just the idea of him, this episode is for you. Or if you wonder if your spouse is attached to the idea of you or of being married, but may not nec...
Oct 08, 2021•22 min•Ep. 62
As parents, we naturally want to protect our children from hurt and pain. We want them to be happy and thriving, right? So when we are trying to make decisions like if we should stay married or not, or feel the pain of sending them to another parent’s home, or deciding how much information to share with them, it can feel very uncomfortable. In this episode, I will shed some light on new ways to think about your children. You’ll hear client experiences, my own experience, and some perspectives th...
Oct 01, 2021•26 min•Ep. 61
Do you know how to question your own brain? Do you challenge your own thoughts? Some of us are pros at challenging others’ beliefs but struggle to challenge our own. Learning to ask your own brain good questions is a skill that will serve you for the rest of your life. Rather than taking your thoughts at face value, a good question encourages digging deeper. This is where the truth comes out about what we are making things mean and how we are holding ourselves back. We can only change the narrat...
Sep 24, 2021•24 min•Ep. 60
Grief. It’s an emotion we all experience as part of life. If we form attachments to anything, we risk feeling grief if we lose the thing we are attached to. Regardless if you choose to stay married or not following infidelity, grief is something that has to be processed to be able to move forward with life. In this episode, you’ll learn various stages you may be in with grief, what to look out for, and how to move forward. You’ll learn how grief can pretend to be other emotions, and why we often...
Sep 17, 2021•32 min•Ep. 59
Are you good at showing compassion to others? How do you feel when someone else is suffering? For many of us, compassion for others comes naturally. But when it comes to self-compassion, it can be much harder. Why is this? In this episode you’ll gain an understanding about why self-compassion can feel scary and threatening. When we really understand something, it becomes easier to see our own behaviors and learn how to navigate our own painful experiences and emotions. Self-compassion can be dif...
Sep 10, 2021•23 min•Ep. 58
