Aging is an inevitable part of life, but we each have a unique relationship with it. Some of us embrace it with open arms and don't buy into the idea of a "gay death" at a certain age. Others struggle with aging and cling to our youth and relevance as each year passes. In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we’re talking about our own relationship to aging and what it means to “age well.” Some of the questions we’ll be unpacking are: What has been your relationship to aging? What do you like a...
Jul 27, 2023•52 min•Ep. 145
In this episode, Matt Landsiedel and Theo Bill have a heartfelt conversation about the struggles and joys of being a gay man. They discuss the core wounds of growing up gay, the impact this has on the gay community, and what we can do to start to heal these wounds. We explore these topics in the episode: The wounds gay men may experience in their development Toxic Shame Attachment trauma Gay men and spirituality What advantages do we have as gay men Some things we can do to sta...
Jul 20, 2023•1 hr 1 min•Ep. 144
It’s a sad reality that older gay men face stereotypes about their attractiveness, desirability, or relevance as they age. Age discrimination, or ageism, can result in feeling isolated, undervalued, and even invisible. In today’s episode, we are having a panel discussion about age discrimination with 3 of our community members. We’ll cover topics such as: Being judged by younger gay men The discomfort around revealing your age around to others Dating and aging What advice they have for you...
Jul 13, 2023•1 hr 22 min•Ep. 143
Friends with benefits (FWB) is a type of relationship where you can enjoy the sexual benefits of a relationship without the expectation of long-term commitment. Navigating the blurred lines between friendship and sexual intimacy is a complex and potentially risky endeavour. In this episode, Michael DiIorio and Pepper of The Gay Good discuss the nuances of having Friends With Benefits. They’ll discuss topics such as: The pros and cons of FWB Why this is common with gay guys When FWB w...
Jul 06, 2023•53 min•Ep. 142
Unconscious bias refers to the internal biases or attitudes that influence our interactions and behaviour towards others. We all have these deeply ingrained biases that unfortunately can hinder our efforts to build a more diverse and inclusive community. In today's episode, we are sharing our experience with Unconscious Bias in hopes that it will help contribute to embracing greater acceptance and belonging. Some of the questions we'll be unpacking: What are some unconscious biases y...
Jun 29, 2023•1 hr 9 min•Ep. 141
In this episode, Matt Landsiedel and Jamaal Wesley talk about authentic connection and the importance of having relationships in our lives where we can be completely ourselves. They share their own personal challenges with being authentic and how they have overcome these challenges. Come spend an hour learning how to bring your most authentic self into connection and reap the reward of being seen, understood and getting your needs met. The questions we explored in this episode are: What do...
Jun 22, 2023•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 140
One of the goals of the Gay Men’s Brotherhood and this podcast is to help foster a deeper sense of community and connection for queer people all over the world. But how do you learn to belong to a community that does not accept you as you are? This is the crux of today’s episode on Acceptance and Belonging. We’re answering some tough questions such as: What do you think is responsible for the lack of acceptance and belonging within the gay community? What parts of yourself do you struggle to acc...
Jun 15, 2023•45 min•Ep. 139
Being a dad can be one of the most rewarding experiences of a man’s life. Historically, gay men have not had adequate opportunities to be parents, but the tide is turning. In this episode, Joseph Tito of The Dad Diaries stops by to talk to Michael about his journey from surrogacy to fatherhood, including: The decision to be a parent The challenges and rewards of being a parent Dealing with homophobia Advice for anyone considering parenthood Whether you’re a dad yourself or have ever ...
Jun 08, 2023•41 min•Ep. 138
Pride is celebration of the progress we've made as a community and a reminder that there is still much work to do. Unfortunately, many people don't feel like part of the community- and we want to help change that. In today’s episode, we’re not just celebrating our queerness, but also the diverse range of people, experiences, and interests our community has to offer. In this episode, we’ll be talking about: How we have felt included in the gay community How we have felt excluded How we can create...
Jun 01, 2023•52 min•Ep. 137
In this episode, Matt Landsiedel and Andre-Lee Wills talk about their experiences with heterophobia. They share what it was like growing up gay in a heteronormative world and how this created fear and anger towards heterosexual people. They also unpack the relationship between internalized homophobia and heterophobia and how taking responsibility for ourselves in new ways can help us overcome these fears. The questions we explored in this episode are: What was life like for you as a young gay bo...
May 25, 2023•1 hr 17 min•Ep. 136
Shame is that terrible feeling that arises when you get the sense that something is fundamentally wrong about you. It is often accompanied by inadequacy and self-doubt. Shame convinces you that you are not enough. Like it or not, shame plays a key role in the gay man’s life. Born into a straight world, we must contend with the fact that we are different. While we all have a unique way of dealing with shame, healing it is necessary if we want to develop an authentic sense of self and truly...
May 18, 2023•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 135
Having a healthy sense of self-worth means balancing both external and internal validation. In part 2 of the two-part series, we are focusing on internal validation, the skill of fuelling your self-worth from within you, rather than seeking it through external sources. Developing your sense of worthiness from within you is fundamental to living authentically as you become less attached to the opinions of others, and more focused on living in integrity with your personal core values. ...
May 11, 2023•1 hr•Ep. 134
Having a healthy sense of self-worth means balancing both external and internal validation. External validation is when you derive your self-worth from sources outside of yourself while Internal validation is when your self-worth comes from within. Unfortunately, many people rely on the external at the expense of the internal, thereby creating a situation where you are hustling to prove yourself to others and are over-sensitive to their criticism. In this special two-part series, we...
May 04, 2023•59 min•Ep. 133
In this episode, Matt Landsiedel and Travis Holp talk about imposter syndrome and how they have navigated periods in their lives when they felt like imposters. They also unpack the concepts of self-doubt, inadequacy, perfectionism, and fear of failure, which often underlie imposter syndrome. The questions we explored in this episode are: Can you share a time when you experienced imposter syndrome? In what ways do you experience self doubt? How do you deal with feelings of inadequacy? What have y...
Apr 27, 2023•1 hr 28 min•Ep. 132
Whether you are aware of it or not, Purity Culture has influenced social norms around sex and relationships for centuries by attempting to repress sexual expression and label it as 'sinful.' Even though society has evolved, so too as Purity Culture. It continues to have a harmful impact on the queer community by influencing policy and feeding into stigmatizing attitudes. In this episode, Michael DiIorio invites Jon Carl Lewis of Sex and the Queer Christian to have a discussion about Purity...
Apr 20, 2023•54 min•Ep. 131
Do you want sex or do you want intimacy? Or both? Sometimes our attempts to connect with guys gets thwarted by the confusion between these desires. This can lead to frustration and over time, loneliness. In part 2 of this 2-part episode, Michael and Matt are going deeper into the topic of intimacy by talking about... How to develop more intimate connections Why gay men avoid intimacy How to overcome the fear of intimacy If you want to increase your capacity for greater intimacy in you...
Apr 13, 2023•45 min•Ep. 130
Do you want sex or do you want intimacy? Or both? Sometimes our attempts to connect with guys gets thwarted by the confusion between these desires. This can lead to frustration and over time, loneliness. In part 1 of this 2-part episode, Michael and Matt are going deeper into sex, intimacy, and sexual intimacy including… How are sex and intimacy different? Different ways to practice intimacy What is (and isn't) sex positivity? Join us for this informative episode full of helpful...
Apr 06, 2023•55 min•Ep. 129
In this episode, Matt Landsiedel interviews Ed Cohen about the science of healing. Ed shares a holistic perspective on healing and how we can begin to reclaim our authority over our health from systems that can easily fail us if we become too passive. We explore how the mind and body are intrinsically connected when it comes to health and healing, and that it is important to search for deeper meaning when our body is expressing illness in any form. If you are someone who suffers from chronic ill...
Mar 30, 2023•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 128
On today's extra-special episode, we're saying goodbye (for now) to our incredible friend and co-creator, Calan Breckon . This marks his last episode as a co-host of the podcast and he is sharing the reasons behind his decision while we reflect on the first 127 episodes of the podcast. Join us for this sentimental episode where we mark the end of one chapter of the Gay Men Going Deeper podcast, and the beginning of the next... Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Watch this ep on YouTube - Connect wi...
Mar 23, 2023•53 min•Ep. 127
How would you describe your relationship with your body? Are you BFFs or are you more like frenemies? We each have a unique relationship with our bodies which directly influences how we treat it. In this episode, we’re going deeper into that relationship by answering questions such as: How would you describe your relationship with your body? How has that relationship changed over the years? How can you improve your relationship to body? Join us for this episode if you want to feel be...
Mar 16, 2023•1 hr 6 min•Ep. 126
Mainstream and social media influence the norms of what is an attractive or acceptable body within our community. Buying into this narrow definition is easy, but it can be detrimental to your self-image and self-esteem. Body representation is the practice of celebrating a diverse range of body types and unlearning the conditioning that only some bodies are worth showing. In this juicy episode, we’re answering questions such as: What has been your experience around body representatio...
Mar 09, 2023•1 hr 23 min•Ep. 125
There’s no doubt that Grindr has cemented itself as part of the gay culture. For an entire generation, an app has shaped what it means to be gay - for better or worse. In this episode, Michael invites special guest, Pepper , to make a case for engaging on Grindr with more respect, kindness, and humanity. They are talking candidly about such things as: What to write in your bio Kinder communication Ghosting Respectful rejection Setting expectations Hook ups Dealing with unsolici...
Mar 02, 2023•56 min•Ep. 124
There are countless ways to give and receive love. We each have unique preferences can change over time. Our "love languages" are influenced by factors such as our upbringing, attachment traumas, and relationship history. In this episode, we're going deeper into the Love Languages, specifically answering questions such as: ❤️ What are your love languages? ❤️ What makes you feel loved? What influenced this? ❤️ How do you like to give love? What influenced this? ❤️ What would be your 6th lov...
Feb 23, 2023•1 hr 8 min•Ep. 123
In this episode, Matt Landsiedel and Dr. Michael R. Smith talk about empathy and what it’s like being an empath and sensitive gay man in a world that isn’t designed for us. We share our own personal experiences being empathic/intuitive and how this can be beneficial but also challenging. We also discuss how relationships and sex can be different for empaths and how we have learned to best navigate this dynamic terrain. The concepts we explored in this episode are: What is empathy? W...
Feb 16, 2023•1 hr 10 min•Ep. 122
Unconditional love sounds romantic, but is it realistic or even healthy? There are a lot of factors at play when we talk about this type of love, and it’s not as simple as it sounds. In this episode, we're diving deeper into unconditional love asking some important questions such as: ❤️ What does unconditional love mean? ❤️ What gets in the way of unconditional love? ❤️ How do you move towards loving someone unconditionally? Take the Attachment Style Quiz! Watch this ep on YouTube - Conne...
Feb 09, 2023•51 min•Ep. 121
Dating is still one of the greatest mysteries in the world some might say. And with over 1,500 dating apps out there it’s only getting more confusing on how to “figure it out” and find someone who is compatible. In today’s episode, host Calan Breckon unpacks some of the mysteries around dating intentionally with guest Michael Kaye . Michael is the Head of Global Communications at OkCupid, one of the world's largest dating apps, where he leads public relations programming, influencer marketing, a...
Feb 02, 2023•47 min•Ep. 120
What is holding you back from doing everything you want to do and being whoever you want to be? For a lot of people, worrying about what others will say or how they’ll be perceived gets in the way of living a truly authentic life. In this episode, we’re looking at what it means to give zero f**ks. We’ll be answering questions such as… If you gave zero fucks and could do anything, what would it be and why? What’s the fear holding you back from doing it now? Where’s the line between b...
Jan 26, 2023•43 min•Ep. 119
In a youth-obsessed culture, it’s easy to overlook the benefits of aging and the wisdom that only comes with lived experience. Including people of different generations in your social circle helps enrich our community and improves quality of life for everyone involved. Yet there are many stigmas attached to intergenerational (or “age-gap”) relationships, especially the romantic variety. In this episode, Michael invites psychiatrist Dr. Hector Rodriguez to talk about platonic and romantic interge...
Jan 19, 2023•58 min•Ep. 118
One of the most exciting things about life is being able to transform your identity whenever you want. For most people, transformation happens naturally and gradually over time. But sometimes you can purposefully and intentionally undergo a process of personal reinvention to become a new version of yourself. In this episode, we’re talking about Reinventing Yourself and answering questions such as… What has contributed to defining your self-image? How have you let go of old versions ...
Jan 12, 2023•2 hr 31 min•Ep. 117
In this episode, Matt Landsiedel and Tirrell Cherry talk intimately about healing sexual trauma. They share their own personal experiences with sexual abuse and how they have moved through their own trauma healing journeys. If you have experienced sexual trauma, you are not alone. This episode was created with the intention to normalize having these difficult conversations that can lead to deep connection, authenticity and healing. Connect with Tirrell: Website link: https://tirrellcherry.life I...
Jan 05, 2023•2 hr 30 min•Ep. 116
