In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of shifting your dating focus, negative feelings and being authentic. Want to submit your question? Click here: bit.ly/2sQ4sJT and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST. If you would like to support the podcast, make sure you check out my Patreon page to see how you can do it. Plus, you get all kinds of cool rewards: www.patreon.com/tracycrossley
Jan 03, 2020•21 min
Do you never feel good enough for the people around you? You’re probably creating unreachable expectations for yourself. You can’t recognize your own value, so you become obsessed with getting validation from other people. Without even realizing it, you could be overcompensating for your self-doubts by pouring all of your energy into making other people happy. These behaviors stem from fear and attachment. You’re overextending yourself because you’re afraid to disappoint the ones you love. You’r...
Dec 31, 2019•21 min
In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of triggers, commitment issues, and manipulation. Want to submit your question? Click here: bit.ly/2sQ4sJT and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9am PST. If you would like to support the podcast, make sure you check out my Patreon page to see how you can do it. Plus, you get all kinds of cool rewards: https://www.patreon.com/tracycrossley
Dec 27, 2019•21 min
Healthy relationships are not built on fantasy, they are also not built on the hard work of trying to get your partner to change. You’re attached to a fantasy version of your partner, but you need to stop waiting for their behavior to change. The only thing that can change in this situation is you. You have the power to break out of this prison of attachment. In the meantime, look at what you say yes to while you wait (hope) for things to change. Perhaps, the person you’re dating cancels plans c...
Dec 24, 2019•37 min
In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of spouse behaviors and challenges at work. Want to submit your question? Click here: http://bit.ly/2sQ4sJT and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9am PST. If you would like to support the podcast, make sure you check out my Patreon page to see how you can do it. Plus, you get all kinds of cool rewards! http://bit.ly/2ExXCLJ
Dec 20, 2019•21 min
Codependency is a painful place to be, and it can manifest itself in many ways. Do you crave validation from your partner? Are you always placing their needs above your own? In many cases, you probably feel wracked with guilt at the thought of doing something without them. You might even try to earn your right to a night out with affection and housework. These codependent situations are not a healthy way to build a relationship, and they’re not sustainable. If one person feels like they’re sacri...
Dec 17, 2019•35 min
In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics feeling like you don't have enough, fears and valuing yourself. Want to submit your question? Submit it here http://bit.ly/2sQ4sJT and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.
Dec 13, 2019•19 min
In this episode of “Surviving to Thriving: Overcoming My Darkest Moment” I have a second conversation with Guy Finley, bestselling author of more than 45 books and founder of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit Center for Spiritual Discovery. Listen in as we talk about being stuck, triggers and reincarnation. Learn more about Guy Finely at www.GuyFinley.org.
Dec 11, 2019•58 min
Does this sound like you? After a series of boring dates and incompatible partners, you’re still single. It’s not you; you just haven’t found the right person yet. Maybe you even have a list of traits your perfect match will have when you finally meet them. Each time you go out with someone new, you wait for that wow factor, the spark, but it never comes. If you’re starting to think you’ll never find your soulmate, I have a secret to share with you: You might be the problem. You’re stuck in a cy...
Dec 10, 2019•32 min
In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of apologies, dealing with an avoidant, emptiness and what it means to be emotionally available. Want to submit your question? Watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9am PST. You can submit your questions here: http://bit.ly/2sQ4sJT
Dec 06, 2019•19 min
You cannot cobble together enough breadcrumbs to create a satisfying meal, and yet many people accept breadcrumbs when it comes to relationships. When you meet someone and there is chemistry, you can get hooked pretty quickly. You may become attached to the idea of what it could be—a loving, fulfilling relationship. Then perhaps they stop contacting you and you are a ball of anxiety, wondering what you did wrong. Once you have accepted they are gone, WHAM, they come back. They have fed you enoug...
Dec 03, 2019•35 min
In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of manipulation, fatal flaws and self-respect. Want to submit your question? Email info@tracycrossley.com and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9am PST.
Nov 29, 2019•26 min
In this episode of “Surviving to Thriving: Overcoming My Darkest Moment” I talk with Alton Pete, U.S. Army Veteran and Author. Listen in as he takes us on his journey through the military and loss of his mother and sister to now where he sheds light on PTSD and Depression as well as just completed his first book "Life is so Precious." Learn more about Alton Pete at altonpete.com
Nov 27, 2019•31 min
Men and women are wired for intimacy at birth, but some are conditioned to reject it. If you are insecurely attached, you probably didn’t experience a lot of true intimacy as a child so you learned to see the world as an emotionally unsafe place. You may have learned that love is not easily shown or given; that it’s conditional upon behavior; that it’s inconsistent. As a result, intimacy as an adult has the same limitations—regardless of gender. Fear of engulfment or abandonment wreak havoc on i...
Nov 26, 2019•34 min
In this special series, Tracy will be answering your questions around emotional baggage. This week she dives into the hot topics of boundaries, triggers, and people-pleasing. Want to submit your question? Email info@tracycrossley.com and watch live on Facebook every Thursday at 9 am PST.
Nov 22, 2019•26 min
Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic used to make you question your reality, but when you’re insecurely attached, you may not trust your own reality to begin with. You look externally for validation because you believe other people know how you should feel more than yourself. If your partner says you’re horrible at budgeting, you may feel a deep sense of shame, even if you’ve always felt you did just fine in the budgeting department. After a string of negative comments, you question your budgeti...
Nov 19, 2019•34 min
Depression sometimes results from pleasing others at the expense of yourself; by trying to be someone else in order to make others happy; by defining yourself through your actions for others. As a kid, if you felt you were unlovable or unacceptable in some way, you hid those unsavory parts about yourself and doubled-down on the parts that received validation. All that time spent seeking approval from others and trying to make them happy probably led to years of hiding and self-loathing. But you ...
Nov 15, 2019•29 min
Are you afraid of expressing your true feelings because you might upset someone? Or do you think they will shut you down because they can’t handle the truth? If you were yelled at as a kid for doing something wrong, then shared how it made you feel and were told your feelings don’t matter, you learned to shove your feelings down. As an adult, this might manifest as trying to keep the peace so everything appears ok on the outside while suffering on the inside. Holding your emotions in or denying ...
Nov 12, 2019•33 min
What do you do to block pleasure? Do you create obstacles for yourself to jump over in order to earn pleasure and happiness? Do you look joy in the face and say, “What did I do to deserve this? This must be a mistake!” If you are more comfortable with pain than pleasure, you’re not alone. Even if you WANT happiness and even visualize what it may look like, you probably fear it. Even during those fleeting moments of pleasure, there is a good chance you are waiting for the other shoe to drop, whic...
Nov 08, 2019•39 min
People who are beyond anxious and can also be characterized as ambivalent, avoidant, disordered, etc., may have been raised by a narcissist. These are people-pleasing perfectionists who lack self-trust and tend to hide out because of guilt, shame or fear. They don’t feel connected to their achievements even if they work incredibly hard, and are definitely insecurely attached when it comes to relationships. They may feel defective and worthless even though they wear a mask that projects confidenc...
Nov 05, 2019•41 min
Everything you think about someone online is an assumption. Most people know this, and yet we use social media as a way of finding information to confirm our beliefs. You may look for people who fit into your worldview, whether it’s about raising kids, relationships, religion, social mores, etc. And when you encounter those who don’t share your view, there may be a tendency to react and get defensive. Of course, you’ve seen behavior online that you would deem unacceptable, like belittling others...
Nov 01, 2019•37 min
How much time do you spend analyzing the behavior of yourself and others to understand or figure things out? What about analyzing your feelings? Do you try to deconstruct why you’re feeling a certain way, or focus on how you SHOULD feel instead? Analysis keeps you in the same pattern of thinking, and thinking solves nothing on an emotional level. The only way to get emotional clarity is by actually feeling. A common example is trying to figure out if you are in love with someone or attached to t...
Oct 29, 2019•33 min
It’s easy to get stuck in your story, believing nothing will ever change. Maybe you curse the universe for working against you, saying nothing ever goes your way, but it’s not anything external that keeps your life on repeat. It’s you. More specifically, it’s how you perceive life and interpret experiences. If you believe you’re doomed, that’s what you will help create. It’s safe and easy to draw on past experiences and use those as signposts for what’s ahead, but that leaves little room for any...
Oct 25, 2019•31 min
In this episode of “Surviving to Thriving: Overcoming My Darkest Moment” I talk with Anthony Trucks, former NFL player turned serial entrepreneur. Listen in as he takes us on his journey through foster care to the NFL to now where he is a master of navigating the identity shifts that life puts us through on the path to reaching our full potential. Learn more about Anthony at www.TrucksTeam.com.
Oct 23, 2019•45 min
I hear people say they want to change all the time—whether it’s getting divorced, changing jobs, finding a partner or improving a parental relationship. They say they are willing to do what it takes, and even connect with their feelings, but the needle doesn’t move. Frustrated, they go into victim mode by getting defensive (but I’m doing everything I can!) or blaming others (my therapist is useless). The problem is, these people are only scratching the surface. To make significant changes, you h...
Oct 22, 2019•30 min
It’s easy to label someone as toxic, obnoxious, boring, etc. in order to dismiss them. Sometimes it even happens without knowing much about the person. Why do you do it? What is happening inside when you are quick to write someone off or decide they are no good? Perhaps you feel threatened in some way, like part of you believes they are better than you. Judging them can provide a sense of superiority or self-righteousness. But who’s to say you’re doing things right and they’re doing things wrong...
Oct 18, 2019•30 min
How often do you find yourself in a situation where you just cannot take being there another minute longer? The appeal of running away, distracting and hiding when anxiety or discomfort surfaces is huge. Our society even teaches us how to dispose of things: cut bait, kick someone to the curb, cut your losses, etc. Those tactics may provide immediate relief, but it doesn’t help you grow. You may not even realize you do it, because you’ve been doing it for so long, it’s just what you do. Let’s say...
Oct 15, 2019•30 min
How do you usually wake up feeling? Are you excited about the day ahead, or do you worry about what could go wrong? Maybe you awake in a panic. You don’t know why, so you start racking your brain for what you may have forgotten. Or maybe you simply have an anxious feeling you can’t shake, so it ruins your day. However it manifests, it’s horrible and you want it to stop. Maybe you even try to drown out the negative feelings by focusing on positive affirmations, but that does nothing to quell your...
Oct 11, 2019•18 min
How often do you try to avoid someone being mad at you? Do you attempt to do things perfectly for fear of being blamed, then berate yourself when you fall short? Let’s say you usually do the ironing at home. One day your partner goes to grab a shirt before a big meeting. There are a few wrinkles—nothing major—but he/she is clearly upset. You feel horrible. Your partner doesn’t say it’s your fault, but they are clearly annoyed, so you feel this wash of shame and your “I’m not good enough” belief ...
Oct 08, 2019•18 min
Do you believe you are a trustworthy person when it comes to love and relationships, yet have trouble trusting your partner (or potential partner)? Maybe you are afraid they will cheat so you use that as an excuse not to commit. When your behavior is in reaction to someone else (i.e. I’m not going to commit because I suspect he/she is cheating), there are definitely trust issues, but it’s actually not about the other person. It’s YOU that you don’t trust. When you don’t trust yourself, you end u...
Oct 04, 2019•32 min
