You’re picky about who you date, looking for Mr. or Ms. Perfect (i.e. someone who won’t hurt or disappoint you). Then you find someone who likes you. There is mutual chemistry, and yet, they seem hesitant. You know what it was like at the beginning (which could have been last week), but now it feels as though they are slip sliding away. Perhaps it triggers in you the feeling of neediness. You cling to them by people pleasing, while accepting breadcrumbs of attention in return. You do this becaus...
Oct 01, 2019•38 min
If “what if’s” rule your world because you’re always afraid of making the wrong choice, you live your life with one foot in and one foot out. In other words, your lack of commitment keeps you stuck, convinced life is working against you. You will actually look for evidence to support your non-decision, then complain the Universe doesn’t have your back (but it doesn’t have your back because you haven’t put a stake in the ground). This plays out in all areas of life: dating but never committing to...
Sep 27, 2019•24 min
In this episode of “Surviving to Thriving: Overcoming My Darkest Moment” I talk with Neeta Bhushan, an Emotional Health Educator and Executive Performance Coach to global leaders and CEOs as well as thousands of women from all walks of life. Listen in as she takes us through her journey through multiple losses and a toxic relationship to now where she has written two Amazon best-sellers Emotional GRIT and The Book of Coaching spoke at Women Economic Forum founded SchoolOfGrit.tv and had a lot of...
Sep 25, 2019•39 min
Have you ever met someone where the chemistry was incredible, but it led you to act like a complete lunatic? Maybe this person canceled dinner plans, triggering you to do things that made you cringe WHILE doing them. But you couldn’t stop it from happening. You barely recognize yourself because you’re usually pretty even-keeled. When triggered into this crazy mode, some people throw objects or scream in public or send a million text messages or stalk someone on social media or sleep with their e...
Sep 24, 2019•24 min
A lot of people think happiness is like an amusement park ride with intense highs that must be chased. But happiness is subtler than that, and what you THINK leads to happiness may actually result in the opposite. Many anti-happiness behaviors become patterns without you realizing it, and they can end up ruling your life. By recognizing and then stopping them, you actually challenge yourself to become who you truly are, which is critical to true, sustained happiness. In this podcast I address mo...
Sep 20, 2019•27 min
Most people have narcissistic tendencies, it is part of what keeps human beings alive. Without it, no one would be here. The problem with slapping that label on your partner is that it may prevent you from seeing and acknowledging your own stuff. No one is in a position to judge others, and doing so is often a reflection of how you see yourself because other people are mirrors for your own behavior. If you want to solve the “narcissistic” issue and feel a sense of well-being, instead of disempow...
Sep 17, 2019•30 min
Do people ever do things that annoy you, but you keep it to yourself because you know they won’t change their behavior? Or have you broken up with someone out of anger and regretted it later? Maybe you want to express your regret, but figure your ex has probably moved on… so what’s the point? It all seems like a waste of effort. The thing is, sharing your feelings has nothing to do with changing the other person. It’s about changing you. Speaking your truth sends a message to yourself and others...
Sep 13, 2019•22 min
You’re in a dysfunctional relationship that isn’t making you happy. Your partner doesn’t treat you the way you want, so you’re always complaining and thinking about leaving. But you fear being alone; maybe your lifestyle would drastically change if you were to split. You keep waiting for things to change, and maybe he/she even reacts to something differently than you expect, giving you hope the tide is turning. It doesn’t. Your friends and family encourage you to leave, saying you deserve better...
Sep 10, 2019•23 min
Self-awareness is great—essential even—but what do you do with it? Maybe you notice your patterns and recognize when you go into victim mode, but you can’t stop. It’s like watching a movie you’ve seen 100 times. You know how things will end, even though you’re desperate to change it. And that can lead you down the rabbit hole of feeling bad about yourself; believing nothing will ever change. But what have you really done? Read some books? Listened to this podcast? Awareness doesn’t mean much wit...
Sep 06, 2019•25 min
Do you feel like you’re a go-with-the-flow person most of the time… until you hit a big roadblock? This often happens in situations where what you want is totally different from what your partner wants. You try to be flexible, but at some point you feel like everything is pushing against you, leaving you frustrated and angry. It turns out you actually do want your way, and you want it NOW! You want to have the picture in your head so you go from easy-breezy to totally losing it. Let’s imagine yo...
Sep 03, 2019•23 min
Many of us frown on the “entitled” without realizing we ourselves feel it, believing we are owed something in this life. It often stems from childhood. If you weren’t shown how to value yourself and fill your own emotional tank, you looked externally. You thought hard work would be rewarded, as if a fairy godmother was keeping score and would fill up the part of you that was missing. Unfortunately, this belief will keep you stuck in a cycle of anger and frustration, waiting for a reward that may...
Aug 30, 2019•21 min
In this episode of “Surviving to Thriving: Overcoming My Darkest Moment” I talk with Lucia Giovannini, a former Italian supermodel turned best-selling author, spiritual teacher, transformational coach, environmental & animal activist, and author of 13 books. Listen in as she takes us through her journey of relationships and finding her higher purpose to now where she is a Master Fire-walking Trainer, an NLP and Neuro-Semantics Trainer, and a recognized international Life Coach. Learn more ab...
Aug 28, 2019•44 min
Obstacles provide fantastic excuses for staying stuck: “He’ll leave his wife when his youngest graduates,” or “She will be ready to commit once she is financially secure.” By sacrificing yourself and putting what you want on hold, do you hope to eventually be rewarded with the relationship you want? Do you fantasize about him/her saying, “Screw it, the kids will get over it. Let’s do this!”? When you hide behind obstacles, you avoid dealing with your deeper fears of rejection, abandonment or bei...
Aug 27, 2019•30 min
Many people have issues around three key areas in life: love, money, and health. And if you’ve done some work on yourself, you realize much of what keeps you from having what you want comes from negative beliefs (I don’t deserve, I’m not good enough, etc.). You focus on breaking patterns and building your value to the point that you not only believe you CAN meet the love of your life, make the money you want or stick to a healthy lifestyle… it actually happens! Until the other shoe drops. Let’s ...
Aug 23, 2019•24 min
Every time you say, “My husband is a narcissist and I’m stuck here,” or “I’m never going to make more than $X because I have always earned a low salary,” you are telling yourself a story. You probably don’t even realize how many stories go through your head at any given time because they run on autopilot, based on judgments you have made. But guess what? You created them, so you also have the power to change them. Let’s say you believe your sister is always angry with you, no matter what you do....
Aug 20, 2019•19 min
Are you insecure about your parenting—wondering if you’re doing a not so great job? If you grew up insecurely attached without a lot of self-love, you probably fear that you will unwittingly insert your old patterns and beliefs into your kids. And no matter how hard you try, you see your kids exhibit avoidant behaviors like hiding, people-pleasing or not taking responsibility for their actions. You feel guilty, so instead of allowing them to screw up and suffer the consequences, you protect them...
Aug 16, 2019•27 min
Do you avoid negative emotions like the plague? Maybe you only believe in being positive, so when negativity sneaks up, you don’t want to deal with it. You shove it down, but eventually hit the tipping point where fear, depression, and anxiety pop up. Feeling totally out of control, you’re desperate to get back to feeling ok again, except you really weren’t ok to begin with—you were in a numb bubble. Perhaps you tell people you’re happily single and have no desire for a relationship. You go to w...
Aug 13, 2019•25 min
When it comes to partners, do you pick ones who are generally happy or generally miserable? Do they walk around with a dark cloud overhead, complaining all the time, or do they smile when doing small tasks like folding the laundry? The people you are drawn to reflect your own state of happiness. And no, happy doesn’t mean jumping up and down 24/7 or those crazy, intense feelings. It means being peaceful, connected to yourself, satisfied, fulfilled, etc. So if you’re tired of draining relationshi...
Aug 09, 2019•20 min
Did things affect you deeply as a kid, feeling overly sensitive to everything around you? I used to feel my doll’s pain, my stuffed animals’ pain, and even a caterpillar’s pain! Maybe your heart ached when someone got yelled at (or when you were yelled at). Whatever it was, people around you probably told you to get over it. Then, you started to shut down those feelings and disown them because you felt shame. You created a hard shell to protect yourself from your own sensitivity so it wouldn’t s...
Aug 06, 2019•24 min
You have spent your life doing for others, worried that if you don’t put them first, they’ll leave… or at the very least they’ll be mad at you. It’s exhausting, however, so you want to start prioritizing yourself and your growth. You know you’ll feel better, shed the resentment and have more energy, but what if the people in your life think you don’t need them anymore? What if they think you’re being selfish? It is NOT selfish to want to feel good. You are actually doing the world a favor by tak...
Aug 02, 2019•31 min
In this episode of “Surviving to Thriving: Overcoming My Darkest Moment”, I talk with Josh Spencer, paraplegic of 23 years and owner of the Last Bookstore in Los Angeles. Listen in as he takes us through his darkest moment that he experienced at the young age of 21 when he was in a horrific moped accident that resulted in him being paralyzed. After a series of additional losses and being diagnosed with depression, he started to become more ambitious and was able to move forward by creating the w...
Jul 31, 2019•51 min
You finally called it quits with your partner who always told you what to do and when to do it. You complained about how he/she controlled you or manipulated you, so ending the relationship felt like a huge relief. But not long after that one ended, you walked straight into another one, leaving you to wonder why everyone is such a controlling a-hole. Where are all the “normal” people? Ending a relationship because you think the other person is the problem is not the path to a healthy relationshi...
Jul 30, 2019•31 min
Do you have an image in your head of who you are supposed to be? And does that image contradict who you actually are? These images often stem from a need for love and respect, thinking the only way to have either is by being what other people want. This can lead to contortionism where you bend yourself to fit a particular picture, or walking on eggshells so people won’t see the real you. Maybe you go to med school because that is the expectation in your family. In relationships, it can manifest ...
Jul 26, 2019•25 min
You don’t trust your partner. He/she is lying and cheating… or you’re afraid they are. Maybe you have an ex who cheated on you so you are hyper-aware of certain behavior. Like if you see your partner acting flirty with someone, which sends you into that crazy, anxious paranoid mode. This reaction, however, is more a reflection of your negative beliefs and how you don’t trust YOURSELF. You don’t trust that you would be able to handle the disappointment of the relationship ending. What if you neve...
Jul 23, 2019•27 min
Do you believe happiness exists outside of you? That once your partner FINALLY gets a clue, or you lose 10 pounds, or you get that promotion, or you buy that house, you’ll be happy? You think if you work hard at achieving your goals, you’ll be rewarded with happiness. Sure, you may get to where you’re going, but does that mean happiness will follow? Nope. Happiness is not a butterfly. It’s the caterpillar, the cocoon and the chrysalis; it’s the whole transformative journey. If you feel like happ...
Jul 19, 2019•19 min
Your relationship isn’t going well. Perhaps your partner is verbally or emotionally abusive, threatening to leave or causing you harm. But there are good sides to him/her too, which you don’t want to discount, so you focus on that and make excuses for their bad behavior to yourself and others. Or you complain about your relationship to your friends, but act as if nothing is wrong when with your partner. You know you should leave, and part of you wants to, but deep down you believe this is all yo...
Jul 16, 2019•22 min
Most of us act like a jerk at times—that’s just life. Some work really hard to prove they are not a jerk by overcompensating while others double-down on their behavior and defensively say, “I don’t care what people think!” Both are avoidant, fearful reactions based on how others perceive you. When you truly accept who you are (the good and the bad), how people label you does not drive your behavior or affect how you view yourself. And very often who the “jerk” is in a given situation depends on ...
Jul 12, 2019•25 min
You’ve done some work on yourself and have achieved a certain level of self-awareness, yet your relationship status doesn’t reflect that. Each time you dip your toe back into dating to see if things have changed, you say, “Yep, just as unsuccessful as before!” Then you go back into your cocoon hoping the next time you emerge you’ll find that perfect person. Unfortunately, personal growth isn’t suddenly rewarded by the universe. No one pats you on the back and says, “Good work, you deserve a rela...
Jul 09, 2019•22 min
Ever notice how quick you are to say, “I don’t like X” or “I can’t stand it when people…”? Whether the subject is food or a person’s behavior or how something looks, you probably respond negatively on autopilot. This can be as simple as calling someone an a-hole for cutting you off on the freeway or as damaging as dismissing someone outright because you disagree with something they believe. Hate begets hate so the more you try to banish those unsavory people or situations from your life, the mor...
Jul 05, 2019•17 min
This podcast was inspired by an email from a listener. After getting out of a toxic relationship, she noticed her knee-jerk reaction of throwing up emotional walls when someone expressed interest in her. As someone who wants a healthy, committed relationship, she knows she needs to work through her fear, dismantle those walls and let people in… but how? Walls go up when your head takes control and runs amok with fear-based stories. For me, this happened when comparing my dates to someone I was s...
Jul 02, 2019•29 min
