Journey of Attachment: Breadcrumb Relationships

You cannot cobble together enough breadcrumbs to create a satisfying meal, and yet many people accept breadcrumbs when it comes to relationships. When you meet someone and there is chemistry, you can get hooked pretty quickly. You may become attached to the idea of what it could be—a loving, fulfilling relationship. Then perhaps they stop contacting you and you are a ball of anxiety, wondering what you did wrong. Once you have accepted they are gone, WHAM, they come back. They have fed you enough breadcrumbs that you believe they are returning to give you the whole loaf. But of course, they don’t… so the cycle repeats. This can go on for years, waiting for them to change their behavior because you are attached to the idea of what the relationship COULD be. When you’re in this scarcity-driven relationship, you work hard to collect crumbs of attention, validation, and acceptance without even realizing it. You’ve been doing it for so long it feels normal, but it is not the path to a healthy relationship. The secret to getting out of breadcrumb relationships is believing you deserve the whole loaf, which comes from valuing yourself. If you believe you are worthy of love, crumbs will be completely unappealing and you will reject them. You will leave the land of scarcity and entire loaves will start showing up.