I have been learning and reading and going to conferences and doing ALL the things recently, and I want to tell you all about it! This episode is a fun one where I let you in on what I’ve been up to and share a few golden nuggets I’ve found along the way. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Book I’ve been reading recently: After by Dr. Bruce Greyson, It’s Not You by Dr. Ramani, and Still Life by Penny Louise. Check out my new favorite podcast, The BEMA Podca...
Jun 04, 2024•28 min•Ep. 278
We talk about the abuse so much, we sometimes forget about the actual healing process. That’s why I’ve invited my long-time friend and seasoned guest Bob Hamp back on the Flying Free Podcast. Bob knows how painful and necessary the healing journey is, and he has some incredible golden nuggets of wisdom to share today that you do not want to miss. Some key points include How Bob found himself in the advocate world and his backstory Why trying to find resources for your abuser really isn’t helpful...
May 28, 2024•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 277
Today I’m going to teach you how to use the same CBT triangle tool I use with the women I work with, my kids, and even myself to help us all understand and gain self-awareness around our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. This CBT tool has three parts that can assist you in changing the way you think, and as a result, change your life and the lives of your kids. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Previous episodes where I talk about this tool: Episode 160 ,...
May 21, 2024•34 min•Ep. 276
Ryan George grew up with a father who abused him, a church that hurt him, and a heart that needed healing. Even after learning he wasn’t the only one being abused at the hands of his father, Ryan still found healing he desperately needed, and he’s on a mission to help others heal, tell their story, and live life to the fullest. Together, Ryan and I talk about Ryan’s story growing up in Independent Fundamental Baptist churches How Ryan found out about more of his father’s victims outside of their...
May 14, 2024•58 min•Ep. 275
BILL! My friend, Bill, wrote a little comment on my site that I wanted to share with you all. It wasn’t a nice comment, but honestly, that’s what makes this episode fun! Let’s take a look at what our little gaslighting friend said and examine more closely where he got it wrong. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: My newest book, All the Scary Little Gods , is a spiritual memoir about healing from religious trauma and toxic programming. Are you wondering what...
May 07, 2024•13 min•Ep. 274
Once upon a time, I dared to write a letter to the pastor of a church I was attending at the time (after having been excommunicated from another church for telling the truth about my life, requesting help, and then acquiring a divorce to protect myself). In my letter, I wrote that his sermon that morning did not take into account abuse survivors' experiences—survivors who were probably sitting in the pews that morning confused and scared about what he was preaching at them. I wanted him to hear ...
Apr 30, 2024•39 min•Ep. 273
Today's podcast episode features a chapter from my new book, All the Scary Little Gods. It's an analogy I wrote several years ago when I was trying my darndest to explain my situation to people who couldn't wrap their brains around it. In the years since that time, I've heard from countless Christian women how much it helped them understand what they were going through. Today you can listen to this story as it was recorded for the Audible version of All the Scary Little Gods. I hope it helps you...
Apr 23, 2024•14 min•Ep. 272
Author, Tiffany Yecke Brooks has done it again with her new book, Holy Ghosted: Spiritual Anxiety, Religious Trauma, and the Language of Abuse . (Don't you absolutely LOVE that title? She's an amazing writer.) Have you ever been ghosted by someone? They disappeared from your life, seemingly into thin air? Have you ever been worried that God might ghost you, especially if you don’t dot your “i”s” and cross your “t’s?” Spiritual anxiety is common among Christians, and Dr. Tiffany Yecke Brooks want...
Apr 16, 2024•54 min•Ep. 271
“ Why do you keep bringing up the past?” “You can't have boundaries with me. You're my wife.” “You're too sensitive.” “I said I was sorry. You need to accept that. Let's choose to have a good day now.” “You think you're so perfect.” Do these phrases sound familiar? They certainly sound familiar to me. I want to show you some ways you can combat these words your abuser throws at you, even if you’re just combating them in your own mind. You don’t even have to say anything out loud (because we all ...
Apr 09, 2024•36 min•Ep. 270
Gretchen Baskerville joins me in today’s episode to talk about a survey she recently conducted on peoples’ personal experiences with marriage intensives. In her survey of 330 people, what she found was shocking, fascinating, and not at all what she expected (mostly). Listen to today’s episode to find out the twelve biggest surprises in this survey and what they mean when it comes to the effectiveness of expensive marriage intensives. Each surprise gets more and more fascinating as the episode un...
Apr 02, 2024•1 hr 5 min•Ep. 269
In today’s episode, I answer more listener questions from women just like you who are trying to figure out what is happening inside of their painful and confusing marriage. If you want to leave a question for me to answer on the Flying Free Podcast, I would love to hear from you! Here are the questions being addressed today: Is my husband emotionally abusive or is it possible that he’s just emotionally weak and unavailable due to his own past and trauma that he hasn't dealt with yet? Does my hus...
Mar 26, 2024•33 min•Ep. 268
Have you ever been told you are incorrigible? Or how about contumacious, which means stubbornly and willfully disobedient to authority? Janet’s church promised to help and protect her, but when she decided to set a boundary to protect herself by divorcing her abuser, they turned on her with this vicious name-calling. Sort of like her abuser, come to think of it. In this final episode of our excommunication series, Janet outlines her story of waking up to abuse, seeking help from her church, and ...
Mar 19, 2024•51 min•Ep. 267
In part two of our excommunication series, I interview Valerie, a former member of a Reformed Baptist church that excommunicated her for divorcing her unfaithful and emotionally abusive husband. After years of receiving “help” from her church as she endured betrayal after betrayal from her husband, she said enough was enough. But even as she divorced her husband and then tried to leave the church peacefully, they wouldn’t allow it. They had to have the last word. Listen to Valerie’s story today....
Mar 12, 2024•42 min•Ep. 266
“ Your high-handed sin against God is a dangerous domain, especially for those that claim Christ and have identified with the church .” Mareida read these words in shock after her “sin” of running away from her abuser had reached the ears of her church. Marieda has a story to tell, and you’ll want to listen in. It’s a story of freedom from emotional abuse and then being punished for it by the church that was supposed to protect her. It’s a story of deep betrayal but also rising from the ashes. T...
Mar 05, 2024•39 min•Ep. 265
Is teaching survivors how to have boundaries the equivalent of victim blaming? I’ve seen this topic come up again and again, and I thought it was time I stated what I believe about it. The bottom line is that I believe that boundaries is an essential tool in a survivor’s toolbox. I also believe abuse is never, ever the survivor’s fault. Those two beliefs can go hand in hand nicely, and I’m going to show you how. Join me as I explain my stance, why it’s important, and what McDonald’s burgers and ...
Feb 27, 2024•39 min•Ep. 264
I gratefully and joyfully, with so much love , offer my brand new book, All the Scary Little Gods, to you! WHO THIS BOOK IS FOR: Anyone who has suffered from anxiety in their relationship with God Perfectionists Fear filled folks Angry survivors Exhausted women who are just “done” Confused Christians Searchers and seekers Grievers The Guilty The Shamed Anyone who just only ever wanted to be loved. ( Especially you, precious one.) You can now get All the Scary Little Gods on Amazon in the followi...
Feb 20, 2024•25 min•Ep. 263
Deconstruction can seem daunting, and you might find yourself becoming fearful of even starting. But let me tell you this: Deconstruction doesn’t have to mean losing your church family. Deconstruction doesn’t have to mean losing your faith. Deconstruction doesn’t have to mean losing your relationship with God. In today’s episode, Angela Herrington joins us to talk about the following: How faith deconstruction intersects with the process of healing from emotional and spiritual abuse How you can d...
Feb 13, 2024•46 min•Ep. 262
We are gearing up for the release of my brand new book, All the Scary Little Gods , which will be available on Amazon in Kindle, paperback, and Audible formats on February 20th. In this episode, you’ll get some more sneak peeks including the foreword by Dr. Tiffany Yecke Brooks and chapters about my first kiss in college plus a time when I thought “crying out to God” would bring back some mail-in-rebate money. (That’s right. You’ll have to listen to believe it.) Laugh, cry, and roll your eyes wi...
Feb 06, 2024•31 min•Ep. 261
Have you ever been told to, “first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will be able to see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye” in regards to your emotionally abusive marriage? That passage of the Bible is often used to mutualize the sin of the abuser and his victim. This is called sin-leveling, and it’s a form of spiritual abuse. Karen McMahon is here to show us how to take back the meaning of these verses to empower and strengthen ourselves. Read the show notes and...
Jan 30, 2024•39 min•Ep. 260
During the entire year of 2023, I wrote a book. It was not an easy book for me to write, emotionally, and I’m glad to be done and even more glad to release it into the world soon. In this episode, I discuss why I titled my new book, All the Scary Little Gods , and I explain the symbolism on the front cover. Please note: In today's episode, which was recorded several months ago, I mention that All the Scary Little Gods will be released on February 22nd, 2024. It will now be released on February 2...
Jan 23, 2024•18 min•Ep. 259
“Communication is key,” right? But healthy communication often isn’t possible with an emotionally abusive individual who twists your words and uses them against you. Today’s conversation is with Mikki Gardner, Certified Life + Conscious Parenting Coach. Mikki’s expertise and knowledge will help propel you forward as you learn how to deal with toxic communication cycles in the context of co-parenting. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here Related Resources: Check out Mikki’s webs...
Jan 16, 2024•54 min•Ep. 258
“I’m really struggling with feeling extremely lonely. How did you deal with this in a healthy way? “How do you cope with loneliness? A shattered, broken heart?” “We don’t speak to each other at all most of the time, so I just get really lonely for human fellowship and interaction.” “I’m feeling really isolated. I just feel sad and alone.” “I need help dealing with how lonely I feel all the time. ” Do these expressions of loneliness feel familiar to you? Then today’s episode is for you. Read the ...
Jan 09, 2024•26 min•Ep. 257
On January 1st I asked the Christian women in my private forum to tell me what truth they learned in 2023 that had rocked their world and changed their life forever. Then I read their answers, and they took my breath away. When I started breathing again, I knew I had to share them with you, so I created this bonus Flying Free podcast episode AND a PDF download for you HERE. These are all written by ordinary Christian women in extraordinarily challenging and painful marriages. I hope these though...
Jan 05, 2024•23 min
Sometimes your circumstances are completely outside of your control, and no matter how much you may want to leave them behind you, you simply cannot. Sometimes this is the emotionally abused woman’s situation. They may want to leave, but they can’t do that today, tomorrow, or even next year. They have to stay for whatever reason. Are they doomed to a life of misery and pain? No. Absolutely not. Diana Swillinger has some practical strategies about how you can grow while staying. You can’t fix you...
Jan 02, 2024•56 min•Ep. 256
Have you ever gone around in circles during a conversation with someone with no hope of ever reaching any kind of resolution? The abuse cycle is just like that — a never-ending loop of tension, an explosion, and then most confusing of all, a really “good” part of the cycle where the abuser is seemingly kind. But how do we get off of this chaotic merry-go-round? How do we interrupt the cycle? I’m glad you asked. As a former card-carrying member of the merry-go-round, I have a few ideas for you as...
Dec 26, 2023•38 min•Ep. 255
Getting out of an emotionally abusive marriage is one of the hardest things you could ever do. But the life and healing it can bring after you have finally left the grip of abuse makes this difficult journey worth it. In today’s episode, I want to outline a ten-step pathway if you or someone you love is considering getting out of an emotionally and spiritually abusive relationship. Come with me as we climb the ladder out of hell. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are ...
Dec 19, 2023•32 min•Ep. 254
One of the biggest hurdles to getting out of an abusive relationship is money. Today I’m answering two listener questions related to this issue. “Do I need to submit to having my credit and debit cards taken away and no access to money?” “How do I launch myself financially after having no experience with money?” These are very common questions emotional abuse survivors have, and I want to answer them in today’s episode. Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here If you are a Christia...
Dec 12, 2023•22 min•Ep. 253
If you’ve ever flown on a plane, you know that in case of emergency, the flight attendants always tell you to put on your own oxygen mask first before you help your kids put on theirs. Healing is the same way. We can’t help our kids heal until we heal ourselves. If we stay stuck, our kids are going to suffer right along with us. You get the opportunity to be your kids’ biggest hero, support, and safe space. But you have to be YOUR biggest hero, support, and safe space first. Let’s learn how—toge...
Dec 05, 2023•27 min•Ep. 252
Today’s episode is taken from a live Q&A I did a couple of months ago within the Flying Free program. In this episode, I cover the following issues: I keep feeling like his sadness, loss, and grief over losing me are all my fault. All of a sudden, my husband has a lawyer and a few other suspicious things going on. I know I need a lawyer now too, but I don't have any money and I don't have any time, and I'm stuck. I'm having a hard time speaking my own opinions without stumbling over my words...
Nov 28, 2023•43 min•Ep. 251
What would you do if you found out that your husband of twenty-two years was arrested and put in jail for domestic violence during the time you were first dating him… and you didn’t know about it until now? Stacie’s story is one of betrayal, loss, disappointment, and then a rising from the ashes. After twenty-two years, she finally had the bravery to say “no” to abuse and say “yes” to loving the woman with her name. Follow along as she outlines the red flags that she saw when they were first dat...
Nov 21, 2023•32 min•Ep. 250
