Happy Thursday, everyone! This week we have a Patreon bonus preview for you all, in which Bekah and Jackie take turns reading each other one-star reviews of each other's favorite books. This week, Bekah tries Jackie's patience with the words of some of the world's smartest book reviewers. We talk confusing feelings and even more confused grammar by various Goodreads users on The Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R. Tolkien. Join us for the next Patreon bonus in August, where we'll continue the fun ...
Jul 27, 2023•18 min•Season 3Ep. 121
This week we bring you another of Jackie's favorite type of episode: author bios! Even more exciting, we have a MAN joining us, so you can rest assured that this episode will contain about 33% less crying than usual. Even MORE exciting, that man is British, so you KNOW there's absolutely no chance things are going to get overly emotional. Which is good, because our author this week is... really, really extra and had a lot of feelings. That's right, our sometimes-guest, sometimes-editor, sometime...
Jul 13, 2023•1 hr 5 min•Season 3Ep. 120
Happy Thursday! This week Rachel, Jackie, and Bekah wrap up Pride Month with a bang. The gang keeps it lesbian and discuss the life and times (what little is known about them) of Sappho, the Ancient Greek "Poetess" whose works have survived for nearly 2500 years and are still being discovered and discussed. She was also probably at least somewhat if not very gay! Rachel hates Bekah's cats. Bekah could probably get away with drilling through most of a person before anyone notices. Jackie gives a ...
Jun 29, 2023•1 hr 16 min•Season 3Ep. 119
Hi, lovely patrons! As our thank you for your support this month, we bring you the action-packed, hijinks-filled tale of Theo's role-playing game with Chat GPT as the Dungeon Master. Will Theo prevail in his goal of defeating a ridiculous monster with a ridiculous weapon of his own choice? Listen and find out, maybe! The first 5 or so minutes are free for everyone - and they're mighty good, as we reckon. Won't you check us out and maybe hitch your horse up to ours for only a few pesos a month? ★...
Jun 08, 2023•6 min•Season 3Ep. 118
The original gang is back! Why? Because Theo needs advice. Not just any advice - the oldest advice in the world. That’s right - this week we’re discussing The Wisdom of Ptah-Hotep, a “book” of “advice” from Ptah-Hotep, vizier of Pharaoh Isesi, the last ruler of the Fifth Dynasty of Egypt. Theo has a suggestion for how we can avoid fixing the healthcare system. Jackie Kermits against her will. Rachel reminisces about her old classssssmatessss, Bobo and Bilbo. Topics include: Fuddruckers, Coca-Mol...
Jun 01, 2023•1 hr 29 min•Season 3Ep. 117
This week, we're coming at you with another FANTASTIC author interview, this time with the brilliant and wonderfully unusual Frances Hardinge, the award-winning author of "A Face Like Glass", "Cuckoo Song", "The Lie Tree", "Deeplight", and, most recently, "Unraveller". Her books are, to use her own words, "fairly dark and invariably strange". A children's and YA maven whose works are both thematically complex and full of astounding prose, Frances chats with us about her process, her life, her or...
May 11, 2023•1 hr 8 min•Season 3Ep. 116
We wrap up the second half of Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five, and things actually get pretty real! Jackie isn't cut out for monogamy. Bekah schools an alien race on ableism. Rachel wants to normalize pooping in the dark with an electric guitar. So it goes! CONTENT WARNINGS: Sexual language, violence, trauma/PTSD, racism, sexism ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
Apr 27, 2023•1 hr 39 min•Season 3Ep. 115
Theo is back, baby! The OG Goosebuddies bring you another spook-tactic Bump Patrol episode. This is a mega long free preview, because the full episode is somehow mega long! What can we say, we love these weird lil tales. And this is the best one yet, IOHO (in our humble opinions). The full episode for Patrons will be out Friday, 4/21, due to aforementioned mega longness. In the meantime, enjoy the first 30 minutes, and join our Patreon to access the rest of this ep and many others! ★ Support thi...
Apr 20, 2023•29 min•Season 3Ep. 114
In this episode, your intrepid hosts cover the first half of Kurt Vonnegut's highly autobiographical masterpiece, Slaughterhouse-Five. If you didn't catch his bio episode (#112), we highly recommend taking a listen! Accurately described by Rachel as both an upper and a downer at the same time, SH5 is a wild ride that spans multiple decades, countries, and planets, all with the hapless and more or less ego-less Billy Pilgrim at its center. There's also a secret subtitle which doesn't appear on th...
Apr 13, 2023•1 hr 17 min•Season 3Ep. 113
In preparation for our Slaughterhouse-Five episodes in April, this week we're covering the life of its author, Kurt Vonnegut Jr.! Never heard of him? Neither has Bekah! But sure enough, we'll all learn a little bit together, with Jackie leading us through the biography of one of her favorite authors. Kurt Von D, as no one ever called him until just this very instant, lived a life defined by extremes - unimaginable tragedy followed him for most of his life, interspersed with the truly absurd, the...
Mar 30, 2023•1 hr 14 min•Season 3Ep. 112
To borrow the parlance of a wise, wise man, today marks our eleventy-first episode! And what better way to celebrate than by listening to four millennials reminisce on the teen masterpiece She's the Man starring Amanda Bynes and Channing "Chiseled" Tatum? 3 out of 4 hosts agree: this is the greatest movie of all time. One host apparently does not understand comedy, but becomes more adept at recognizing it with each passing minute. To hear the full episode, join our Patreon! For only a few dollha...
Mar 23, 2023•16 min•Season 3Ep. 111
Jackie and Rachel interview Gerardo Sámano Córdova, whose debut novel 'Monstrilio' was released on March 7, 2023. 'Monstrilio' is, per the LA Times book review, "an unearthly hybrid that’s part horror, part literary meditation on grief, part wildly entertaining tale." And, well, they were right! But it's also about so much more - a love story, an LGBT coming-of-age story, and an unsolvable philosophical puzzle, to name a few. Conversation topics include the merits of embodied cognition, how old ...
Mar 16, 2023•1 hr 32 min•Season 3Ep. 110
Welcome back! In typical Shakespearean comedy fashion, when last we left our characters, everyone was in love with the wrong person and/or pretending to be someone they’re not. Will Viola, Orsino, Olivia, and Sebastian ever figure this mess out?! Spoiler alert: yes. Join us as your hosts get a li’l wacky with it. Rachel doesn’t suffer fools. Jackie finally comes to understand the true meaning of Theo leaving. Bekah declares the drama to be none of her affair. By far, our gayest episode yet. Topi...
Mar 02, 2023•1 hr 20 min•Season 3Ep. 109
We have great news this week - for one, we made it through another 7 days in the hellscape that is life in the 21st century, even though the Death Plume is slowly creeping toward Jackie's house. For another, much more significantly, Bekah got a new mic, which makes our first episode covering William Shakespeare's 'Twelfth Night' that much more enjoyable! We bring the early 17th century right here to your ears so you can bask in the glory that was only having to worry about the plague. Rachel has...
Feb 16, 2023•1 hr 22 min•Season 3Ep. 108
We wrap up the ridiculously child-inappropriate children's story of Pinocchio by Carlo Collodi. Host Rachel says it best when she sums it up thusly: sometimes barely anything happens, and sometimes way too much happens. Ain't that just the way? If you, like Bekah, enjoy cruelty towards puppets, you'll enjoy this episode. Rachel is pretty sure some puppets are gay. Bekah is open to ghosts. Jackie begs Rachel to become a donkey for her, just this once. Topics include: Ethiopian proverbs, grapes in...
Feb 02, 2023•1 hr 16 min•Season 3Ep. 107
You know how Rachel's cousin Megan has a mega crush on Jiminy Cricket? Well, now you do. We brought her on to explain herself. Join our Patreon to access the full episode, and other bonuses! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
Jan 26, 2023•12 min•Season 3Ep. 106
Today, we discuss that seminal work of puppet literature, Pinocchio! Written by Carlo Collodi in the early 1880s, this is a very, very strange book. It’s never been faithfully adapted to film, for reasons you’re about to discover. Also: you’re supposed to learn a lesson, in case you didn’t notice. We certainly didn’t! Topics include: nepotism, Jackie’s “British” accent, Year is Odd: Wrath of God, a squawk, Guillermo Del Toro’s unfaithfulness, puppet hate, Elmo, tiny Detroit, gabagool and capeesh...
Jan 19, 2023•1 hr 34 min•Season 3Ep. 105
We're saying goodbye to Theo as our producer and regular feature of the show, but don't worry - we haven't seen the last of him. He'll be back for various special episodes in the future. In the meantime, we hope you'll stick with Jackie and Rachel - we love you, and have a lot planned! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
Jan 09, 2023•4 min•Season 3Ep. 105
The gang is back for the second half of the most absolutely whackadoodle Christmas story ever written. Sure, in episode 1 all that happened was we met some cute people who prepared for a luncheon, but now we’re looking at murder, mystery, and men with wigs - not to mention an absolute f*ckton of fairies. Rachel is granted a miracle, but wastes it. Jackie has high standards for rain. Theo hatches a harebrained scheme to Christmas-prank his parents. Topics include: creepy narrators, CBD/CBT, looki...
Jan 05, 2023•1 hr 6 min•Season 3Ep. 104
After a nice long fall break, we’re back atcha with the third of Dickens’ five Christmas stories! This week we cover the first half of The Cricket on the Hearth: A Fairy Tale of Home. For having such a cute title, this story is surprisingly off the chain and makes us wonder, not for the first time, what Charlie D was smoking on those long nighttime walks of his. Rachel is a good tipper, despite owning a girl-fedora. Jackie teaches an impromptu Yiddish lesson. Theo only wants one thing for Christ...
Dec 22, 2022•1 hr 2 min•Season 3Ep. 103
Boy oh boy, do we have a special episode for you! Today, in a vibes-based episode, we will be discussing the Moomins, amazing creatures created by Finnish writer/artist/anti-fascist Tove Jansson. These days, you can find the Moomins in TV, anime, movies, books, comics, and represented on basically every type of merch. We watched “Spring in Moomin Valley,” the first episode of the 1990 Moomin TV show (available on YouTube), and read the first few issues of the newspaper comic strip. Theo finally ...
Nov 10, 2022•1 hr 7 min•Season 3Ep. 102
Happy belated Halloween, and welcome to Bump Patrol #3 - Monster Blood! We read and enjoy and ponder over RL Stine’s rollicking 1992 monsterpiece. Stay spooky! ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
Nov 03, 2022•14 min•Season 3Ep. 102
Oh look, our 101th episode! In celebration, we kind of just continued doing our thing. It’s what we do best. We give a mini Stoker bio and wrap up the final 9 chapters of Dracula, and things get gayer and gayer. Rachel won’t stop ringing her own bell. Theo revels in life post-sexual awakening. Jackie finally takes control, to disastrous effect. Topics include: child brains, staging a play for copyright reasons, nerdgasms, being American and doing t*rrorism, special dirt, Oscar Wilde’s sodomy tri...
Oct 27, 2022•1 hr 41 min•Season 3Ep. 101
Mwahahahaha, welcome to part 2 of our miniseries on Bram Stoker’s Dracula! This week we cover chapters 10-18 of that classic Gothic horror novel. Our team of hunters is uniting, blood is being consumed, and vampires are being staked. Who will survive to the end of the book?! Theo reaches nirvana, which is bad for the pod. Jackie refuses to disclose her latitude and longitude. Rachel finds a way to blame women no matter what. Topics include: the appropriate behavior for a guest, gay time, Eddie V...
Oct 20, 2022•1 hr 20 min•Season 3Ep. 100
Velcome, velcome, velcome to part one of Dracula. Possibly the most famous Gothic horror novel of all time, Bram Stoker’s masterpiece is, for the uninitiated at least, a surprisingly complex read full of uncomfortable yet strangely compelling eroticism! We cover chapters 1-9 and tell our weekly stories. Theo has no idea how he’s supposed to edit this. Jackie meets a new friend and promptly throws her under the bus. Rachel doesn’t think people really need to know about the Germans. Topics include...
Oct 13, 2022•1 hr 27 min•Season 3Ep. 99
This week we speak to Michael Kellermeyer, proprietor of Oldstyle Tales Press (www.oldstyletales.com), about what seems to be his favorite thing in the world - the works of Washington Irving. Michael is a former English professor, current independent publisher (and illustrator, bibliographer, literary critic, etc., etc., etc.), and all-around great guy. We had a great time talking to him about ol' Irv, America's original troll and our current best boy. Join us for this most momentous start to sp...
Oct 06, 2022•1 hr 10 min•Season 3Ep. 98
This week is a bonus episode! Enjoy hearing about the man who had a family and a few friends, then fell asleep for a while! When he awoke, the world was both similar and different. ★ Support this podcast on Patreon ★
Sep 29, 2022•16 min•Season 3Ep. 97
Make sure you have your sleepytime tea and ZzzQuil (not sponsored) on hand for this one, because things are about to get spooky and you’ll need calming agents to keep your wits about you. This week, we regale you with the story of one Ichabod Crane’s very, very weird evening. Poor, gangly, big-nosed, gangly, awkward, and gangly Ichabod is not only easily frightened but also gangly, and he could sure have used a chill pill. Rachel cannot wait to live in a nursing home. Theo comes up with a truly ...
Sep 22, 2022•1 hr 16 min•Season 3Ep. 96
This week, we bring you the tale of Washington Irving, a delightful historical troll and one of our current favorite guys. Perhaps best known for being the author of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow and Rip Van Winkle, he should be even better known for his many and varied pen names. Join us as we experience awe and delight at his weird life! Theo suggests a new cool podcast tradition. Rachel makes a slightly off-color joke (or does she?). Jackie’s hopped up on Irv. Topics include: man vs. nature/soc...
Sep 15, 2022•1 hr 10 min•Season 3Ep. 95
We talk to Nghi Vo, author of The Chosen and the Beautiful, one of the Great Gatsby adaptations that have been released since the book entered the public domain, about getting our grubby fingerprints all over the classics. She talks to us about her inspiration, her writing process, and the strange customs of the American Midwest. (She also shares a little secret info about upcoming projects!) Topics include: sushi bakes, Jackie’s chosen family, explicit bisexuality, costumed baby acts, chosen on...
Sep 08, 2022•1 hr 14 min•Season 2Ep. 94
