My podcast guest this week, Joy, shared that when she first started her relationship (at 17!), she was expecting they would be that disgustingly in-love couple with constant PDA, but that's not what happened. In fact, despite having a supportive, loving, and fun relationship, she quickly found that her fear of getting pregnant turned into the discomfort of having or talking about sex altogether. When Joy joined my Wanting It More program, they hadn't shared a sexual experience in alm...
May 30, 2023•47 min
As a husband, are you confused about why non-sexual intimacy (like playful touch and general affection) and physical intimacy have dwindled in your marriage? In this follow-up to Episode 43, I get to chat with Thia's husband, Eugene, about the pressure and personal responsibility he felt to fix their sex life and the many changes he tried that didn’t work. Since taking the Wanting It More program together, he's now aware of his many misconceptions about sexual intimacy in marriage. ...
May 23, 2023•58 min
Thia and Eugene are a couple from South Africa who are currently living in the UK with three children. After waiting to have sex until their wedding night and having some positive experiences early on, their intimate life started to dwindle. Thia wasn't sure if she was even able to have an orgasm (it can be hard to tell!) and Eugene was running out of ways to help his wife enjoy the experience. Their sex life was becoming infrequent, routine and obligatory. After taking Wanting It More, th...
May 23, 2023•1 hr 3 min
Amber spent years searching for help for her low sexual desire with no answers. She spoke to her university counsellor, her mom, read books and sought help from her church. In a moment of desperation she reached out to her physician and was given this response: "Look, it's just one of those things. You simply have to do it. It'll make him a better husband and father." I can personally relate to this lonely experience. I searched for years for answers to my low sex drive from similar...
May 16, 2023•56 min
In this follow-up conversation to Episode 40, I talk with Erin's husband Rob about his ‘old ways’ of thinking about sex and how his views have drastically transformed since taking Wanting It More. Learning about my concepts of safety in the bedroom originally floored him, but incorporating these vital ideas has ultimately made all the difference in their marriage and sexual relationship. If you're confused about what safety in the bedroom means, I hope you'll have a listen to...
May 09, 2023•52 min
I'm always speaking to women and their husbands about the need for safety with physical touch in and out of the sexual experience. In our culture, women are bombarded with unwanted sexual attention in media, in schools, in homes, and out in the streets. We don't even know that feeling safe is a possibility! This week, I talk to Erin and her husband, Rob in separate conversations, about how they have moved towards a safer sexual experience together. You can listen to Rob's conversati...
May 09, 2023•54 min
As sexually loud as our culture can be, so many women (and men) experience the silence around helpful information on sex and pleasure as we prepare for marriage. This week I talk to Keira about growing up in a Christian household and the guilt, shame and dirty feelings she held on to for years. We also discuss her experience with painful intercourse and the dramatic turning point that helped her rethink her body and the meaning of intimacy in marriage in an entirely new light.  ...
May 02, 2023•1 hr 1 min
I don't believe that making the choice to explore a sexual connection AND enjoy the experience is connected to physical attraction to your spouse in any way (aka, you don't need to be turned on by his body.) This also includes you if you DO find him hunky and still don't want and/or enjoy sex with him. This doesn't mean anything about you or your marriage. Curious to know why? I'm choosing to be honest in hopes that it will calm some fears on this hotly debated topic....
Apr 25, 2023•33 min
1. Janna interviews Nick, the husband of a current Wanting It More (WIM) participant, about his experience going through the program. 2. Nick explains the challenges and rewards of vulnerability in male friendships. 3. His ah-ha moment realizing the lack of physical connection was not the real problem in his marriage. 4. How his attempts at “gentle pressure” and reverse psychology backfired and what actually worked to rebuild their connection in and out of the bedroom. 5. His misinterpretation o...
Apr 04, 2023•37 min
1. Janna interviews Sarah, a current Wanting It More (WIM) participant, about her personal and relational shift after seven weeks in the eight-week program. 2. Sarah describes her tearful breaking point the week before signing up for WIM, thoughts of divorce, and how she’s used the tools learned in WIM to save her marriage. 3. Honest talk about her declining desire over 15 years and why it’s so hard for women to verbalize what happened. 4. How honestly acknowledging and expressing her anger, fea...
Mar 28, 2023•59 min
1. Janna shares a love note filled with compassion and validation to her listeners feeling the weight of this difficult work. 2. Her thoughts on how our culture has completely lost the true meaning of intimacy. 3. Why it’s still hard for her in her own relationship after all these years. 4. The importance of knowing you're not alone, you're not broken, and it's definitely not your fault. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Janna's Program: Wanting It More Janna's new Wanting It More Foundations self-paced cour...
Mar 21, 2023•11 min
1. The amazing gifts that Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) have and how they can be translated into the sexual experience. 2. Why broadening out the definition of sex is so critical for HSPs. 3. Practical examples from Janna's own life of how she explores her creativity, intuition, and HSP-ness in the bedroom. 4. What to do when you get overwhelmed, triggered or need a break. 5. The most important thing your husband can do that will make all the difference. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Janna's Program: Wa...
Mar 14, 2023•36 min
1. The two phrases Janna and Melissa model and use in the community to decrease shame and increase safety. 2. Why shock, grief and sometimes anger are understandable emotions in the beginning stages of the process. 3. The surprising results of getting the husbands together for a support call. 4. What they are learning about making space for a diversity of lived experiences. 5. How the basic concepts taught in WIM are sometimes misunderstood as radical. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Janna's Program: Wanti...
Mar 07, 2023•1 hr 5 min
1. The three "steps" towards initiating more touch with your husband. 2. The two main causes of "touch pressure" and what to do about them. 3. Why unlearning cultural messages about acceptable touch is critical before getting curious about what you like. 4. How Janna and her husband create space for her to initiate touch. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Janna's Program: Wanting It More Janna's new Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is open for registration. The next round of Doing It T...
Feb 21, 2023•18 min
1. The myths about pain and how they impact our experience of it. 2. The importance of physical and emotional safety while healing from pelvic pain. 3. Why the phrase, "it's all in your head" is actually true- but not how you think it is! 4. The normal variety in female parts (as described by someone who has seen hundreds!) 5. The different types of pelvic pain and the experience of each. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Janna's Program: Wanting It More The Centers for Vulvovaginal Disorders: https://vulvod...
Feb 07, 2023•53 min
1. How Taneill expected her body to work and what happened instead. 2. The unexpected surprise she got when she listened to other women talk about pleasure. 3. The relatable ways Janna and Taneill both tried to get the big O as young adults. 4. The moment everything shifted for her and how she's continued to learn about her body. 5. Her recommendations for other women hoping to feel more enjoyment in the bedroom. Resources Mentioned: Janna's Program: Wanting It More Janna's new Wanting It More F...
Jan 31, 2023•50 min
1. Three unfortunate experiences Janna had with professionals and what she learned from each one of them. 2. Janna's #1 recommendation for when you are seeking support - whether from books, people or the internet. 3. What she does now as a coach and educator to keep her participants safe. 4. Her window cleaning story and what that taught her about pushing herself! 5. The critical areas that were missing in her search for answers and how she addresses them in her Wanting It More program. RESOURCE...
Jan 17, 2023•43 min
1. How B used to see her "role" in the bedroom and how it's changed over time. 2. The most challenging aspect of creating and enforcing boundaries for her. 3. The surprising way B's body has responded after 5 years of regular physical connection with her husband. 4. Why nighttime is sometimes the worst time to have sex. 5. How her husband struggled with this "new way" of connecting in the beginning and how they are now. 6. How they handle having afternoon sexual experiences with the kids in the ...
Jan 10, 2023•43 min
1. How purity culture has affected this couple's marriage in very different ways. 2. How M handled K's "don't touch me!" vibe in her first pregnancy. 3. Where their communication broke down in the bedroom and how they've changed it. 4. M's initial resistance to my advice in the Wanting It More program and how he feels now, 3 years later. 5. The unique way K transitions into the sexual experience that may surprise you! 6. How K is handling the changes in her body after baby #2 - which is proving ...
Jan 03, 2023•59 min
1. Is it guilt or shame? What's the difference? 2. How cultural messaging influences our feelings of guilt. 3. What to blame instead of each other. 4. Janna's opinion on what’s “owed” to your partner. 5. The single most important quality for a successful marriage. 6. When guilt is actually warranted in the bedroom. RESOURCES MENTIONED: Janna's Program: Wanting It More Janna's new Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is open for registration. The next round of Doing It Together...
Dec 20, 2022•24 min
1. Why safety is the key to women wanting it in the bedroom 2. The reasons why communicating our preferences is the first step to feeling safe 3. 4 things women are supposed to like in the bedroom, but Janna doesn't 4. Common reactions that husbands have when women say no in the bedroom 5. The hardest and best thing Janna did in her own marriage to establish her own safety RESOURCES MENTIONED: Janna's Program: Wanting It More Watch the video: Video Janna's new Wanting It More Foundations self-pa...
Dec 13, 2022•32 min
1. 2 types of ways to want it in the bedroom, and the differences between them 2. Why waiting for those “tingly feelings” can be a waste of energy 3. What science is teaching us about “getting in the mood” 4. How Janna has regular experiences while rarely being in the mood. 5. The 5 motivations for sex that don't involve a physical reason RESOURCES MENTIONED: To view the Venn Diagram mentioned in this episode, please view the episode on my website here: Venn Diagram “Come as You Are” by Emily Na...
Dec 06, 2022•27 min
1. 3 barriers to learning about our bodies (it's not as simple as it sounds) 2. A few critical pieces of information that Janna learned early on which made a big difference 3. Janna's favourite book recommendation to learn the science of female bodies 4. 3 steps you can take to learn about your preferences in the bedroom RESOURCES MENTIONED: To view the Venn Diagram mentioned in this episode, please view the episode on my website here: Venn Diagram “Come as You Are” by Emily Nagoski My Program: ...
Nov 29, 2022•19 min
1. The one bedroom word Janna hate that everyone else loves 2. 7 toxic cultural messages that create issues in the bedroom 3. The only 2 goals I encourage for together time 4. How anger can be a force for good in the bedroom RESOURCES MENTIONED: To view the Venn Diagram mentioned in this episode, please view the episode on my website here: Venn Diagram My Program: Wanting It More Janna's new Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is open for registration. The next round of Doing...
Nov 22, 2022•27 min
1. What Janna means by emotional and physical safety in a relationship 2. Why safety is such an important element of women wanting it in the bedroom 3. The differences between a lack of safety and abuse 4. The reasons why a marriage can be lacking emotional safety for women 5. How building emotional and physical safety can change everything in the bedroom RESOURCES MENTIONED: To view the Venn Diagram mentioned in this episode, please view the episode on my website here: Venn Diagram My Program: ...
Nov 15, 2022•20 min
1. Janna's story and experience with not wanting it with her husband 2. Why women aren’t broken if they don’t want it with their husbands 3. The common reasons why women don’t want it in the bedroom 4. How Janna's approach is different from traditional advice that women often get from medical professionals RESOURCES MENTIONED: To view the Venn Diagram mentioned in this episode, please view the website here: The Three Requirements Venn Diagram Janna's Program: Wanting It More Janna's new Wanting ...
Nov 08, 2022•19 min
1. Janna outlines why the podcast is changing and what that will look like 2. How Janna’s business model is shifting to honour her need for simplicity 3. What to expect from upcoming episodes 4. Listen now to hear about why Janna is making these shifts RESOURCES MENTIONED: Janna's Program: Wanting It More Janna's new Wanting It More Foundations self-paced course for women is open for registration. The next round of Doing It Together runs June/July 2025. Join the Waitlist. Learn about the Doing I...
Nov 01, 2022•12 min
1. Reasons why talking about what happens in the bedroom can be uncomfortable 2. How we can overcome the shame and awkwardness of talking about it 3. Ways in which the cultural mainstream impacts women’s capacity for enjoyment 4. How we can demystify what happens when we have sex 5. Why our early experiences learning about sex can impact our capacity for talking about it openly as adults GUEST BIOS: Lisa lives in the United States with her busy toddler and husband of nine years. She works from h...
Oct 18, 2022•54 min
1. Why scheduling time for yourself is a way to enrich your relationships 2. The difference between intentional “me time” and self-sabotaging behaviours 3. The ways that your sexual experiences can be “me time” 4. The differing needs that men and women can have in their sexual relationship 5. How women’s roles in the family are often underappreciated 6. Reasons why taking time for yourself is revolutionary for your children *Please note that this conversation includes real experiences that are s...
Oct 11, 2022•50 min
1. How to maintain a marriage while coping with serious health problems 2. Why communication is so important during times of extreme stress 3. How to transform stressful situations into opportunities for bonding 4. Why fear can manifest as anger when we’re under stress 5. Finding ways to create intimacy with physical disabilities 6. Redefining the possibilities of what sex can be *Please note that this conversation includes real experiences that are sometimes traumatic in nature. This may be tri...
Oct 04, 2022•48 min
