Dovetail Resolutions, LLC: high-quality, customized approaches to conflict that fit. The concept of dovetailing is well-known: things fitting together well. A dovetail joint is highly valued in carpentry: a custom creation, where the two pieces form a strong, interlocking connection. Resolutions sometimes represent conflict resolution of the mediated agreement type. Other times, a resolution is a commitment: the people involved agree to a plan of action, or to a change in tone, or to undertaking...
Jan 07, 2021•5 min•Ep. 106
2020 provides some useful takeaways for dealing with conflict effectively. This year has been full of challenges and many are happy to put it behind them. As we turn the page, we can benefit from remembering a few lessons. First, many individuals reached across differences to help each other – these successes can be lost in the scope of the challenges. Second, when grappling with the issue of racial inequality – and other issues, too – we do well to remember that we are all individuals, and wort...
Dec 31, 2020•6 min•Ep. 105
A focus on visual leadership helps leaders more effectively imagine, communicate, and inspire. Visual images are proven to help us conceive of ideas, express those ideas to others, and encourage people to join us on a journey. You can learn more about Todd on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/toddcherches/ . His personal website includes tips and information on his new book, VisuaLeadership ®, Leveraging the Power of Visual Thinking in Leadership and in Life, through his website. https://www...
Dec 24, 2020•30 min•Ep. 104
Though it’s tempting to see things as black or white, embracing the gray is often worth the effort.
Dec 17, 2020•6 min•Ep. 103
Harmony is about differences coming together, not everything being the same. We understand harmony in music to be different parts combining in a positive way. But we sometimes think of human harmony as a group without differences. In fact, human harmony mirrors musical harmony: the differences create the depth of the sound. You can experience the NYC Virtual Choir and Orchestra demonstrating lovely human and musical harmony here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLPP3XmYxXg&ab_channel=ThePodd...
Dec 10, 2020•6 min•Ep. 102
Scapegoating is a pattern of behavior that can harm not just the target, but the others in the group as well. Sarah Peyton is a Nonviolent Communication trainer and neuroscience educator. She uses her knowledge and experience to explain why our brains can embrace scapegoating (when we are not the target). We discuss how groups, especially in the workplace, get involved in scapegoating and how to break the pattern. You can learn more about Sarah and her work at https://www.yourresonantself.com/ ,...
Dec 03, 2020•27 min•Ep. 101
I am grateful for the 100 weekly episodes of Crafting Solutions to Conflict published to date. This episode is the 100th weekly episode of the Crafting Solutions to Conflict podcast. I am thankful to Seth Godin and the coaches and peers who supported me through the second run of the Podcasting workshop, starting in October 2018. And to the Old Hands who were part of that group and continue to help me alone the journey. I am grateful for the guests who have graciously shared their insights. And, ...
Nov 26, 2020•7 min•Ep. 100
Fisher and Ury use The Orange as a vivid illustration of a key concept In the book Getting to Yes, Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, Roger Fisher and William Ury tell the story of the orange. It is a vivid illustration of the difference between interests and positions. When we state a position, it’s a proxy for our interest. If we focus on the interests behind positions, we may more easily find creative solutions to conflict. that we should focus on our interests and not our positions. Do...
Nov 19, 2020•6 min•Ep. 99
Our unconscious bias shapes our perspective in ways we don’t easily recognize or accept. Just days after the 2020 election in the U.S., we discuss how we all are affected by bias – in ways that we find hard to manage and hard to believe. Our emotional reactions are so fast and our commitment to our rationalizations so strong that it is difficult for us to change our own minds or to see that others may have their own values and perspectives that seem completely legitimate to them. The first steps...
Nov 12, 2020•25 min•Ep. 98
The day after Election Day in the U.S. is featuring a number of factors that encourage conflict. Today’s challenges include uncertainty, high emotions, exhaustion, a highly significant outcome, and lots of noise. All of these can contribute to negative, destructive conflict. Yet we have also seen an absence of conflict that had been feared by some: violence and disruption in the voting process. There have also been instances of positive conflict: Republican leaders contradicting a president of t...
Nov 05, 2020•6 min•Ep. 97
Vik Kapoor on a UN Office of the Ombudsman pilot peer conflict coaching program Vik describes a pilot peer conflict coaching program underway in over 40 countries, as part of the work of the UN Office of the Ombudsman. Vik notes that the views he expresses are his own and do not reflect the views of the United Nations or the U.S. Federal Government in any way; any errors and omissions are his own. The Office of the Ombudsman for United Nations Funds and Programmes' site is https://fpombudsman.or...
Oct 29, 2020•27 min•Ep. 96
Both inside the group in conflict and outside it, threads of conflict may be hidden below the surface. Hidden Threads of Conflict is the title of a presentation next week for the annual global conference of the Family Firm Institute (FFI). I am part of a panel of three, which is part of a larger group, which is itself a subset of the FFI Mediation Virtual Study Group. It’s been great to work with Jack Wofford, Richard Lutringer, Ann Begler, Natalie McVeigh, Kathleen Hoye, Amy Wirtz, Susan Kaye, ...
Oct 22, 2020•6 min•Ep. 95
Every year, The Association for Conflict Resolution (ACR) celebrates Conflict Resolution Day. This year it’s on October 15th. ACR is an international, professional organization enhancing the practice and public understanding of conflict resolution. Members include mediators, arbitrators, educators and other conflict resolution practitioners. ACR’s Mission: ACR gives voice to the choices for quality conflict resolution. ACR’s Vision: All people know their choices for conflict resolution. The key ...
Oct 15, 2020•6 min•Ep. 94
An ombuds helps individuals and groups to resolve conflicts and concerns. Chuck explains how the term ombudsman comes originally from the Swedish and means “representative”. Today you may hear ombuds, ombudsman, or ombudsperson. According to the International Ombudsman Association: “Ombudsmen work in all types of organizations, including government agencies, colleges and universities, corporations, hospitals and other medical facilities, and news organizations. There are different types of ombud...
Oct 08, 2020•27 min•Ep. 93
Considering what we’re missing can clarify why someone disagrees with us. When we are in conflict and can’t understand how someone can hold the position they do, we can consider if we are missing something. Do we have partial information? Or outdated information? Does the other person have a perspective we don’t grasp? We ask ourselves what we’re missing. We can also ask the other person – with genuine curiosity. Even if no minds are changed immediately, channels of communication may be opened o...
Oct 01, 2020•5 min•Ep. 92
Nonviolent Communication: communicating with clarity and empathy. Dr. Marshall Rosenberg developed the concept of Nonviolent Communication – or NVC – and founded the Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC). Very generally, the NVC approach can be broken down into four parts: observing a situation -- without evaluation or judgment; noticing the feelings the situation brings to the surface; understanding what need or value is causing those feelings; and requesting concrete actions that you woul...
Sep 24, 2020•5 min•Ep. 91
Motivational Interviewing helps people resolve inner conflicts and make changes that help them reach goals. Joseph discussed his work as a financial and life planner and how he uses Motivational Interviewing to help his clients better understand how to match their behaviors to the goals they identify for themselves. Motivational Interviewing was developed by clinical psychologists William R. Miller and Stephen Rollnick in the area of addiction treatment. Its principles apply much more broadly an...
Sep 17, 2020•27 min•Ep. 90
In mediation, a trained neutral helps with conflict resolution; in facilitation, there is less or no focus on conflict. Unlike facilitation, in mediation there is always an active dispute. In facilitation, there may be one brewing, one resolved but the resolution not yet implemented, or no dispute at all – just an interest in considering a topic or topics with care. You can learn more at the American Bar Association’s Dispute Resolution Section webpage, in the public access section: https://www....
Sep 10, 2020•6 min•Ep. 89
William Ury’s idea of going to the balcony helps in a challenging conversation. In his book Getting Past No he sets out the idea of Going to the Balcony. Trying that strategy can help you three ways: 1) you avoid a knee-jerk reaction; 2) you can a wider perspective; 3) you take a pause – of whatever length is best – in engaging in the conflict. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovet...
Sep 03, 2020•6 min•Ep. 88
Better recognition of our body’s role in emotions will help us to use them as an asset. Paula talked with me about how she came to learn about the importance of addressing our body – and not just our mind – when dealing with emotions and stress. You can learn more and reach Paula at paula@brainupgrade.biz , phone: 646.554.346, or https://www.naturalintelligencesystems.com/ . Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict reso...
Aug 27, 2020•26 min•Ep. 87
The Serenity Prayer provides insights on both personal and interpersonal conflict. Many know the poem credited to the American theologian, Reinhold Niebuhr, and that’s how we hear about the inner conflict in trying to follow its hopes. A different challenge lies in the interpersonal conflicts of different perspectives about what is impossible to change, and the courage to change what can be changed. It may take true wisdom to convince someone else to change their perspective to yours. God, grant...
Aug 20, 2020•5 min•Ep. 86
We’re all in a global pandemic, but we aren’t all in the same situation. Damian Barr’s poem is full of wisdom: I heard that we are in the same boat. But it's not that. We are in the same storm, but not in the same boat. Your ship can be shipwrecked and mine might not be. Or vice versa. For some, quarantine in optimal: a moment of reflection, or reconnection. Easy, in flip flops, with a whiskey or tea. For others, this is a desperate crisis. For others, it is facing loneliness. For some, peace, r...
Aug 13, 2020•5 min•Ep. 85
Seeing People Through describes how business and organization leaders can profit from the Process Communication Model®. The Process Communication Model® (PCM) is a behavioral communication model that teaches people how to assess, connect, motivate, and resolve conflict by understanding the personality types that make up a person’s whole self, which is the key to leveraging personality diversity. Seeing People Through focuses on helping leaders unleash their potential through PCM. Learn more abou...
Aug 06, 2020•26 min•Ep. 84
When we build on positives, we can deal more effectively with conflict. In the midst of conflict in an ongoing relationship, it’s easy to focus on the points of disagreement. Instead, an effort to focus on the areas of agreement, even a number of small ones, can help us handle the negative part more effectively. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com ! And you can ...
Jul 30, 2020•5 min•Ep. 83
A positive inner conflict can be the catalyst for a purposeful pivot. If you have outgrown your role, achieved a goal, or experienced a significant shift in circumstances or priorities, you may feel an inner conflict that leads you to choose to make a major change. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com ! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator an...
Jul 23, 2020•5 min•Ep. 82
Courage in giving and receiving feedback can prevent negative conflict. Bill Treasurer, Chief Encouragement Officer, joins me to talk about courage in giving necessary and valuable feedback and having the courage to accept it without being defensive. Understanding how feedback will work best in a relationship, especially in the workplace, is best done before it goes south – and it is an ongoing process. You can learn more about Bill and his work at https://www.giantleapconsulting.com/ (couragebu...
Jul 16, 2020•24 min•Ep. 81
Template for Show Notes: Title: What to do about microaggressions Episode Summary: Helping ourselves and others to avoid microaggressions reduces negative conflict. Episode Notes: Helping ourselves and others to avoid microaggressions reduces negative conflict. Microaggressions, everyday slights that are based on stereotypes, can create unnecessary conflict. Comments, gestures, and other expressions, whether intentional or unintentional, can feel like insults to the person on the receiving end. ...
Jul 09, 2020•6 min•Ep. 80
Microaggressions, everyday slights that are based on stereotypes, can create unnecessary conflict. Comments, gestures, and other expressions, whether intentional or unintentional, can feel like insults to the person on the receiving end. The first step is to be aware of what we are saying – and, especially, how it might be received. Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutio...
Jul 02, 2020•6 min•Ep. 79
Selling a business is not just a transaction, but a transition; support in that journey can help. In fact, the involvement of someone who works with the seller to address the emotional impact of a potential sale can help get the deal over the finish line. That person can also help the seller move forward without seller’s remorse. You can learn more about Denise and buy her book, The Seller’s Journey, at http://deniselogan.com/ . As Denise phrases it: “I keep people and deals from falling apart.”...
Jun 25, 2020•27 min•Ep. 78
We can work to prevent pressure cookers when possible and to have personal pressure valves ready when we need them. Pressure cookers can easily create or aggravate negative conflict for ourselves and others. Some pressure cookers are inevitable and beyond our control. Other times, we can prevent them or minimize how severe they are. Either way, we can prepare to deal with pressure cookers by having our individual pressure valves primed and ready to help us let off steam. Do you have comments or ...
Jun 18, 2020•6 min•Ep. 77
