Come As You Are

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Episodes

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Come As You Are

Educator and bestselling author Dr. Emily Nagoski answers questions about sex with the latest science. The eight-part series is a modern guide to sexual wellbeing, backed by groundbreaking research about desire, anatomy, orgasm and much more. In conversation with her producer, Mo, Dr. Nagoski debunks cultural myths and flips the script on everything you thought you knew about sex and sexuality. Come As You Are will help you unlock your most pleasurable life, in the bedroom and beyond.

New episodes drop on Wednesdays.

Lead production by Monique LaBorde.

Come As You Are is produced by Pushkin Industries and Madison Wells.

Show art by Sofie Birkin.

To hear episodes a week early and ads free, subscribe to Pushkin+ in Apple Podcasts or at pushkin.fm/plus.

Episodes

The Harms of Eating Alone: An International Day of Happiness Special from The Happiness Lab

For the  International  Day of Happiness , we're sharing a special episode from The Happiness Lab. It's a chance to talk about happiness and what we can all do to be happier. March 20th also sees the release of the  World Happiness Report . A big finding of 2025's report is that more of us are dining alone—and that's bad news.  The report's editor Jan-Emmanuel De Neve shares the stark figures showing that shared meals are in decline, while Dr. Anne Fischel of  The ...

Mar 20, 2025•37 min•Transcript available on Metacast

The Science of Great Sex in Long-Term Relationships

A listener in his eighties wants to know if there’s an expiration date on his sex life, and how to reconnect in the bedroom with his wife. Luckily, Emily is writing a new book about sex in long-term relationships. She delves deep into what the research reveals about couples who sustain a strong sexual connection over many years. Plus, she shares practical, science-backed sex advice on aging and navigating your changing body. If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (...

Dec 28, 2022•37 min•Ep 8•Transcript available on Metacast

Consent and "Enthusiastic Maybe"

This week, Emily answers a question from her producer, Mo, about consent. Mo and her girlfriend are considering a new sexual experience but they’re not both an “enthusiastic yes” on the idea. Mo’s girlfriend joins the conversation, and they delve into the idea of “enthusiastic maybe” in consent and how to handle all the comfortable, joyful, and consensual “maybes” that can come up in sex. A heads up before listening: in this conversation, we touch on difficult topics such as coercion and manipul...

Dec 21, 2022•50 min•Ep 7•Transcript available on Metacast

Sex Ed from Pop Culture

We switch things up this week as Mo challenges Emily to watch and rate a sex scene from the popular TV show “Ted Lasso." Emily rarely watches sex scenes since they often create the myths she works so hard to dispel, but she agrees to endure this torture for the good of our sex education. The scene prompts a deep conversation about vulnerability in sex, the absolute prison of masculinity, and what the dual control model can teach us about our porn habits. If you have a question for Emily, call th...

Dec 14, 2022•29 min•Ep 6•Transcript available on Metacast

How to Improve Your Orgasms

Emily answers calls from listeners who are struggling with their orgasms, and debunks several myths about where orgasm happens in the body. She also explains how we can train our brains to change our experience of orgasm with some practice… and a little dismantling of the patriarchy. If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557‬ or send a voice memo to emily@pushkin.fm. Tell us your pronouns and pseudonym (pick a name, any name!) Your question might be ans...

Dec 07, 2022•38 min•Ep 5•Transcript available on Metacast

How Desire Actually Works

For some people, sexual desire shows up totally spontaneously and out of the blue. But that’s not the case for this week’s listener, who wants to have sex with their girlfriend, but isn't feeling the same excitement as they did at beginning of the relationship. Emily introduces the science of responsive desire, which is not only totally normal and healthy, but also a more common way of experiencing desire. You can take Petra Zebroff's Questionnaire for Turn-on Initiation Preferences here. If you...

Nov 30, 2022•39 min•Ep 4•Transcript available on Metacast

The Anatomy Lesson You Never Got

A man is embarrassed about his curved penis, and his partner doesn’t know what to say to him because she’s not sure if the curviness is normal. Emily serves up some real talk about sexual anatomy and explains that we all have the same basic genital parts, regardless of the sex we were assigned at birth. Plus, Emily and her producer, Mo, discuss how to combat poisonous cultural messages about what kinds of bodies are "normal." If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at ...

Nov 23, 2022•45 min•Ep 3•Transcript available on Metacast

The Science of Horniness

The pandemic is really killing the mood and making it hard to prioritize pleasure. A listener calls in about losing the motivation to have sex, even with herself. To help answer the listener's question, Emily introduces groundbreaking research known as the "dual control model" and offers a simple but radical shift in the way we think about horniness. If you have a question for Emily, call the Come As You Are hotline at (646) 397-8557‬ or send a voice memo to emily@pushkin.fm. Tell us your pronou...

Nov 16, 2022•37 min•Ep 2•Transcript available on Metacast

Prelude: Pleasure is The Measure

In this prelude episode, educator and author Dr. Emily Nagoski argues that pleasure is the bedrock of sexual wellbeing. Emily is joined by writer and organizer adrienne maree brown, who offers advice on how to reconnect with pleasure and make it a lifelong practice. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nov 16, 2022•24 min•Ep 1•Transcript available on Metacast

Introducing: Come As You Are

Sex educator and bestselling author Emily Nagoski answers questions about sex with the latest science. Along the way, she busts cultural myths and teaches you what's true with the help of groundbreaking research. Come As You Are will guide you towards a life with more confidence, pleasure, and joy. Coming November 16 from Pushkin Industries and Madison Wells. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nov 02, 2022•3 min•Ep 1•Transcript available on Metacast