Have you ever thought about betrayal trauma’s impact on your brain health? After watching her dad lose his life to Dementia last year, Hali Roderick began to gain an interest in the connection between the physical brain and emotional healing. As Hali looked into ways to prevent her physical brain from cognitive decline, she recognized a lot of the signs of brain injury are similar to the symptoms of betrayal trauma. Tune in to this episode with our guests, Hali and Jeff Roderick to learn: Sympto...
May 16, 2023•50 min
As the partner who betrayed works through their recovery, we often see that they start to increase their efforts to help their partner. They may help out more with the kids, take the trash out without being asked, or bring home dinner when their partner is having a hard day. The betrayed partner may find themselves rejecting these efforts, which causes both partners to become frustrated, angry, and disconnected. The partner who betrayed starts wondering why these kind gestures aren’t working. On...
May 09, 2023•22 min
When you find out that your partner has been acting out in sexually compulsive ways, it can feel scary and concerning to then leave them alone. Perhaps most of the sexually compulsive behavior was done while you were away, so of course you would feel worried leaving them alone. Join Amie and Alana today as they discuss what you can do when this situation is part of your journey. Finding support along your healing from betrayal is key and here at Choose Recovery Services, we want to give you the ...
May 02, 2023•17 min
These terms have been used to describe someone who is struggling with any addictive behavior and who becomes sober from that particular destructive addiction, and becomes addicted to another less destructive behavior. However, the root issue behind the addiction is yet to be resolved. We are describing this a compulsive sexual behavior transfer. So many of our clients will see their partner become sober from the compulsive sexual acting out behaviors, but become compulsive around another behavio...
Apr 25, 2023•31 min
Acceptance is a critical and difficult part of the healing process. Many people get stuck in acceptance, thinking that by accepting their reality it means they approve of their situation. Join Amie Woolsey this week as she shares the difference between acceptance and approval, and gives examples of what acceptance looks like. Tune in to learn: How acceptance is like teaching someone to drive. The role a support system has on gaining acceptance. The difference between facts and interpretation of ...
Apr 18, 2023•28 min
Have you lost your voice? Do you believe that what you think and feel matters? It may be surprising to really think about your answers to those questions. In this episode, Amie and Alana discuss the importance of honoring your voice, honoring yourself, and honoring your needs to reclaim your voice. This episode covers topics like: How did your voice become minimized? Are you able to recognize your needs? What does self-acceptance look and feel like? What does honoring yourself look like? How doe...
Apr 11, 2023•30 min
How can you start to trust yourself again after betrayal? Being betrayed by a partner is traumatizing physiologically, emotionally, and mentally. This can leave trauma on your body even long after the betrayal has occurred. When you’ve had this kind of blow in your life, it affects your sense of self, sense of safety, and self identity. This makes trusting yourself difficult. This is a very natural response when you’ve experienced betrayal, but learning to trust yourself again is the first key t...
Apr 04, 2023•24 min
Today Amie and Alana talk about trust using the work of Brené Brown, and American professor, who created specific elements of trust by using the acronym BRAVING. Because it's BRAVE to trust, especially after betrayal. When you are trying to watch your partner's feet move back up the ladder of trust, it can be confusing to know what you are even watching for! So they break down these tools she offers as elements of trust and make them more tangible and betrayal trauma relatable. These are NOT all...
Mar 28, 2023•47 min
.What would you guess is the #1 thing people want help with when they go to see a therapist or a coach? Here’s a hint…whether you’re dealing with betrayal, trauma, or just simple disruptions in a relationship growing apart, all these roads lead to a need for better communication. We are hard-wired for connection, and a core part of connection is communication. Join Alana on this episode for the first step to better communication in your relationship – learning the difference between communicatin...
Mar 22, 2023•29 min
🎙️ We’re closing out the last episode of a 3-part series on the topic of adult children of sex addicts featuring Dr. Kenneth M. Adams Ph.D., CSAT-S, and author of the new book, A Light in the Dark: The Hidden Legacy of Adult Children of Sex Addicts. This week, we respond to listener questions such as: “Do I need to hide my pain from my kids?” “When is it too late to repair your relationship with your children?” “How can I work through the guilt and shame that come from repairing damaged relatio...
Mar 14, 2023•32 min
Join the conversation today as Amie and Alana interview Dr. Kenneth M Adams, Ph.D., CSAT-S and author of the new book, Alight in the dark, The hidden legacy of adult children of sex addicts co authored with Mary E Meyer, Ph.D., LMFT, and Culle L Vande Garde, LCSW where they detail the unique issues experienced by adult children who grew up with a sexually addicted parent. We are thrilled to share this powerful conversation with you in hopes that as a child of a sexually addicted parent, you will...
Mar 07, 2023•54 min
Join Amie and Alana today as the first part of a three part series around adult children of sex addicts. Todays episode preambles the much anticipated interview with Dr. Kenneth M Adams Ph.D., CSAT-S and author of the new book, A light in the dark, The hidden legacy of adult children of sex addicts co authored with Mary E. Meyer, Ph.D., LMFT, and Culle L. Vande Garde, LCSW where they detail the unique issues experienced by adult children who grew up with a sexually addicted parent. This book off...
Feb 28, 2023•35 min
Do you feel fear, shame, insecurity, or pressure when you think about your sexuality? Join Amie and Alana as they help you consider if you’re ready to lean back into your sexuality after betrayal, and why it’s okay to embrace your sexuality. Tune into the episode to think about: Embedded beliefs you may have around sexuality Four elements that build intimacy Small ways to become more aware of your body How to separate sex from pleasure The links between shame and sexuality Resources mentioned in...
Feb 21, 2023•36 min
Valentine’s Day is meant to be a day for celebrating romance, but for those who have experienced betrayal, this day can serve as a reminder of what you’ve lost. We want to hold space today for the triggers, the pain, and the hard you may be feeling around this holiday. Whether you’re in a relationship, divorced, or single, you may find yourself grieving the expectations that were never realized in your romantic relationships. But perhaps you can take a minute this week to think about how you mig...
Feb 14, 2023•19 min
Have you seen yourself swing from a submissive role to a strong, independent perspective as you've begun the work of healing from betrayal trauma? Maybe you've found yourself feeling stuck and a little confused as you've tried to find the right balance of independence and interdependence? Think through some of these questions with Amie and Alana on this week's episode: Do you have to give up independence in order to be relational? What is the difference between submission, dependence, and interd...
Feb 07, 2023•32 min
Join us this week as we tackle the topic of letting the old relationship die after infidelity, betrayal, cheating, or compulsive acting out. We have with us Luke Gordon, men's mental health coach. Together we dive into why its recommended to let the old relationship die, what the looks like in real life, and how to move forward as a couple. New Courses: Transforming Your Triggers - A 6 week course taught by Hali Roderick about dealing with triggers from Betrayal Trauma Next session starts March ...
Jan 31, 2023•26 min
It's a great question. Why are you doing the work right now and being aware of that why, will help you more than you perhaps realize. Today we discuss the fears, the concerns and the rewards of continuing on in the journey of healing for both the betrayed and the betrayer. Ongoing Courses: Road to Recovery - Join Luke and Alana Gordon, Founders of Choose Recovery Services and Program Directors for the Men of Moroni and The Worth Group for a free monthly couples webinar. Navigating the relational...
Jan 24, 2023•33 min
We are thrilled to have joining us in todays conversation Geoff Steurer, MS, LMFT He is one of the leaders in the field of addiction and betrayal, host of the podcast, From Crisis To Connection , Geoff joins our conversation today to discuss an important topic, sexual consent. Most importantly, sexual consent in marriage. This is a powerful episode for both the betrayed and the betrayer to understand, and gain more awareness around. If you feel there is further work to do around this topic perso...
Jan 17, 2023•52 min
Relapse, slips, close calls........these are all scary and triggering for the betrayed partner. So how do you prepare for this to happen, what if you don't want to have this happen, and how many times should this happen? All these questions and more are what Alana and Amie discuss in todays conversation. Ongoing Courses: Road to Recovery - Join Luke and Alana Gordon, Founders of Choose Recovery Services and Program Directors for the Men of Moroni and The Worth Group for a free monthly couples we...
Jan 10, 2023•32 min
Amie and Alana have a very informative and powerful conversation with Jared Rockwell who is not only a polygraph examiner but a LCSW with over 18 years experience. He is nationally recognized leader in his field and offers his expert thoughts today around how a polygraph works, why they are so important to rebuilding trust in a relationship and what they are NOT. We debunk some common myths around the polygraph and it's purpose as well as offer some guidelines around what questions to ask and no...
Jan 03, 2023•48 min
In todays episode Alana and Amie have a conversation about what it looks like to thrive and step out of victim mentality. When you have been a victim of someone else's choices that created chaos and pain in your life. Sometimes undesirable pain, it's understandable how it feels powerless and overwhelmingly paralyzing. Sometimes the term victim takes on a negative connotation, and so it's a place we can often judge ourselves in. There are so many subtle ways that we, often subconsciously, keep ou...
Dec 27, 2022•49 min
When you have experienced betrayal, the holidays can trigger a lot of heartache rather than joy and sadness rather than happy. For those of you who are right in the middle of hard we want you to know we are thinking of you and praying for you. We know you do hard things. Part of the healing journey is reclaiming, rewriting, rediscovering, YOUR holiday and deciding what that will look like, even in the middle of hard. Today we share some thoughts with you about how to do that and offer a few idea...
Dec 20, 2022•30 min
You are not going to want to miss todays conversation!! Ok, you really don’t want to miss any of our conversations, but today it a special one as we have joining us the amazing Tony Overbay. We are talking about narcissism today with Tony and how to grasp the bigger picture in healing and recovery. Learning how to build a higher emotional IQ is often left out in most addiction recovery programs and this is a key piece to healing, recovery and just being a more functional human. If you want to le...
Dec 13, 2022•51 min•Season 3Ep. 16
The road to recovery can be a long and difficult road. When you don't know where you are headed and how to get there, it can feel even more daunting. Join Alana, Amie, and their guest, Luke Gordon, for a discussion around healing and what the road to recovery after infidelity, cheating, or sexual addiction can look like. To have a visual of the recovery map, download it here . To schedule a session with any of our therapists or coaches, go to Chooserecoveryservices.com or email us at info@choose...
Dec 06, 2022•1 hr 9 min
It can feel so frustrating to not see change in your partner and in yourself and how will you know if your partner is really changing? Alana and Amie answer another listeners question about this concept today and how to recognize change. This can be tricky to recognize they give you some ideas to consider and get curious about to help you determine for yourself if you are seeing the kind of change that you want. The episode referenced in todays podcast is called Active Recovery in Betrayal Traum...
Nov 29, 2022•36 min
Sometimes the holidays can be triggering and it's hard to feel grateful for anything. join Amie in todays episode where she offers some thoughts around how to navigate this holiday while you are also navigating big emotions. Because the truth is, you don't always have to feel grateful AND you can hold space for all emotions. Ongoing Courses: Am I In An Abusive Relationship? - Free, self-paced workshop to help you identify key red flags that might be showing up in your relationship. Road To Recov...
Nov 22, 2022•17 min
In today's episode Amie and Alana talk about needs vs wants in a relationship as they answer a listers question. This episode is geared specifically towards the betrayed in the relationship. Ongoing Courses: Am I In An Abusive Relationship? - Free, self-paced workshop to help you identify key red flags that might be showing up in your relationship. Road To Recovery - Join Luke and Alana Gordon, Founders of Choose Recovery Services and Program Directors for the Men of Moroni and The Worth Group f...
Nov 15, 2022•42 min
When you start navigating the healing journey, you learn all kinds of tools and concepts, and you start applying them in hopes that change happens, in hopes that healing happens. But what if you are using ALL the tools and you are still feeling pain? What if you are trying to do all the things professionals say. to do but you are still feeling hurt? Today Amie and Alana discuss the in's and out's of healing and how to view pain in a different way. Most of all, to know that you are not doing it w...
Nov 08, 2022•27 min
In todays Episode we welcome one of our amazing coaches Hali Roderick who is addressing the aspect of recovery when there has been an affair in the marriage, but no pornography. Many women are navigating this aspect of betrayal and often find it hard to feel supported and not sure how to heal from this kind of betrayal. Join us today and Hali shares key point to help you navigate your journey to find hope and healing. Want to work with Hali? Check out chooserecoveryservices.com Ongoing Courses: ...
Nov 01, 2022•41 min
Today Amie has an exciting announcement for an additional resource for those of you who are needing help navigating divorce after betrayal trauma. So tune in and listen to what she has been up to! She also offers powerful thoughts around accessing your own empowerment and what that looks like, and how supporting each other as women is something she wants more of. No matter where you are at in your journey this is a powerful episode. Feel free to share with someone you know! Ongoing Courses: Am I...
Oct 25, 2022•13 min
