I'm scared to post this one! I wish feminism did what it's supposed to do - empower women. But unfortunately it now does the very opposite of that, whilst increasing the disconnection between men and women. In this kamikaze podcast, I talk about my perspective on the current feminist movement and why we need to let it die.
He doesn't really mean that, does he? Yes, he does. Ever wonder why improving yourself always just ends up with finding more weaknesses to work on? Is there no end? Hear about my discovery into a healthy alternative to self-improvement that won't leave you wishing that one day you'll finally be good enough!
Dozens of the people pleasers and Nice Guys I've coached over the last 5 years believe it's good to be an "easy going" person. So many people are raised to believe it's bad to rock the boat or otherwise make other people feel emotionally uncomfortable. In this episode I challenge the concept that being easy going is either good or helpful, and open up the idea that it could in fact be the biggest problem both in your personal life and in the world generally!
Dan and Mike - the founders of Brojo - discuss the painful lessons they learned from 2017, the year of hard knocks, and how they discovered the secrets to self-acceptance.
This survey was conducted over the months of November-December in 2017, as part of market research for my new coaching program The Honesty Effect: 3X Your Social Confidence to Free Yourself from People Pleasing in Just 12 Weeks. Over 100 people responded to the survey, and I’ve analysed the results with my feedback here. If you identify as a People Pleaser, or care about someone who does, you’ll want to check this out!
Someone asked me what I do in conversations that allows me to connect with people deeply. It took me a while to figure it out, but I've broken down the common mistakes I see people make, and what they can do instead, so you can practically apply these learnings to increase your connections with friends, family, co-workers and lovers.
You're a good person, right? You're trustworthy and generally an honest person too, correct? In that case, you should be experiencing a fulfilling and open love-life, social life, and career. So what does it mean if you're a good honest person but you're NOT being rewarded for it? Well, maybe there's something you're not seeing...
Do you believe you're less powerful and free than other people on this Earth? Why? Maybe you think it's because they have more money, strength, political influence and popularity, health or skills than you. The dark truth is that you're as powerful as any of them, you just don't realise it. If you don't feel 100% free in your life, you need to listen to this.
People pleasing is common and massively detrimental to both self-confidence and connection. It creates loneliness, frustration and missed opportunities. But there's more than one way to be a people pleaser, and until you know which type you are, you won't know what to do about it. In this podcast, we explore the 4 types of people pleasing and what to do about each of them.
Whatever you chase will run away from you. That's why most people dating these days are struggling to find a long-term loving relationship. They scare others away with their neediness and desperation. Why? Because they're chasing the wrong target. Imagine if instead of needy chasing, you focused on connecting in the moment, with no expectations. It is possible... and a much more successful approach!
You see others doing it, but for you it's impossible. Maybe it's starting a business, or asking out your crush, or losing 50 pounds. We each have that thing that defeats us, no matter how hard we try. Well, there's a good chance your real issue is your own self-sabotage. In this episode, we explore why you get in your own way, and how to both recognise and remedy this very human tendency.
We all have it. Every time you anticipate failure or embarrassment, this voice in your head starts doubting you, insulting you, and punishing you. Why do we beat ourselves like this? What's the point? Well, that's the question. In this episode, we'll explore the dark truth behind the Not Good Enough script you're so attached to, and discover what's hiding behind it.
Do you ever beat yourself up for having an emotional reaction that you think is "inappropriate" or irrational? Maybe it's stagefright, unexplained depression, random anxiety, or pointless anger. You look at a situation and know how you SHOULD feel, then all of sudden you're having a completely crazy emotional reaction that just doesn't make sense. Today, we'll make sense of this craziness and look at how dogs can teach us to manage our emotions better.
An heartwarming exploration into how to find a reason to get out of bed each day when you know that ultimately humankind is doomed and everyone will die and everything you do is pointless. A dive into the Philosophy of Pessimism and how living with integrity is the secret to giving meaning to a life without needing a higher purpose or God.
We spend a large portion of our energy trying to keep others from feeling painful emotion, by trying to make them happy, or by calming them down. But why do we do this? What's wrong with being sad, angry and afraid sometimes? Let's explore the burden of trying to make others happy, and what you should do instead.
So many of us have been trained to believe that confidence means winning, looking good, controlling people and outcomes, seeking popular approval and love, and being emotionally unaffected. I believe these are all harmfully inaccurate definitions of confidence that lead to breaches of integrity and deep insecurities. I'd like to present a new definition, based on having integrity and living by your values.
Kevan Chandler is an incredible man. Born with a physical condition that most would label a "disability," Kevan has shown the world that even the most restrictive physical conditions cannot hold back a man who is determined, courageous, resourceful, connected and optimistic. Prepare to have your excuses put to shame!
Why are some people shamelessly open - and therefore unbreakable - while others hide the truth about themselves and end up punished by it? Is it really harmful to be vulnerable? In this episode Dan share's his transition from hiding almost everything to revealing it all, and what he learned from this secret to confidence.
We look up to celebrities, rich and attractive people, our boss, our parents, and more. Then we look down on criminals, the homeless, and the mentally ill. What is this ranking system we commonly call Social Status? How is it created, who creates it, and most importantly, what is it doing to us? If you've ever felt like the least worthy person in a social situation, prepare for some truth as to why you feel that way (and what you should do about it).
Most people try to label themselves as succinctly as possible. These identity labels come with an unwritten set of rules, standards and boundaries. Whatever the identity, the label is a summary of the rules you must follow to remain true to “yourself.” We believe in our identities only because of a massive filtering out of evidence - both passively and actively - to avoid acknowledging the simple truth: That we’re not identifiable.
If something exceeds your expectations, you're happy. If it doesn't, you're disappointed, upset and anxious. So, given that you set your own expectations, we see a great opportunity for you to gain more autonomy over your enjoyment of life. Let's explore what an expectation is, how it's created, and what you could be doing differently about this whole process.
From early childhood we start receiving the message that we need a purpose in life; a single goal that we are supposed to feel passionate about and chase with unrelenting vigour. What if this is actually counter-productive to finding meaning in every single moment, because it keeps us focused on the fictional future? In this episode we explore how to create a meaningful life one second at a time
Most people are passive in their interactions, while others are overly controlling and dominant. Leadership has nothing to do with either of these states of being. Leading a conversation is about expressing truthfulness without attempted manipulation, followed by opening up a space for others to contribute, and listening to them attentively while they speak. Check out this short episode to learn more
We all have weeks that just do not go our way, or are filled with heartbreak, failure and confusion. These are unavoidable. What can be influenced, however, is how we react to and deal with weeks such as these. Introducing Confidence Coach and Founder of the Forge Your Life Podcast, Richard Phu. In this true-life episode we explore how Richard was able to cope with a week that included a major career change, a break-up with a fiancee and so much more.
Thanks to the internet, we are the generation who gets to see a full, unmoderated view of how full of shit everyone is. Sometimes it beggars belief how insecure, irrational and just plain misinformed a majority of the world seems to be. It’s a big deal. Most of who ‘you’ are gets created through the influence of others. There is no such thing as objective independence. As soon as you come into contact with another human, they affect you. This cannot be prevented. So let's look at how to reduce t...
Neediness is the enemy to success. Creating a Nothing to Lose mindset means letting go of your emotional attachment to things that don't matter, and behaving as a person who is already complete. Sounds complex but it's as simple as taking a small risk. Listen to this episode for more on how you can behave like a confidence person who has nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Meeting MJ Fitzpatrick these days, you'd struggle to believe he ever had any self-worth issues. He's successful. He's socially confident. He's extroverted, with a loving wife and thriving coaching business. But you're seeing the end result of years of pain, suffering and growth. If you know what it's like to be bullied as a child, you need to listen to this inspirational true story of recovery.
There are 3 common mistakes guys make when it comes to showing attraction towards someone. These mistakes cause them to express themselves indirectly, and come across as needy and desperate. It doesn't have to be this way! In this episode we look at how you can create the courage needed to be shamelessly honest about your interest in someone without sounding creepy.
Simon Cottrell was the typical Mr Nice Guy. As a result, he suffered from superficial connections, low self-worth, and a lack of self-respect. Then, he decided to make a change. Listen to his story, as he delves into the depths of bullying and self-loathing through to discovering who he really was. This one is a must listen for all recovering people-pleasers and Nice Guys.
There has only ever been ONE thing stopping you from truly enjoying life and creating what you want: Neediness. When you chase something, it runs away. When you try, you create failure. In this episode, we dig into the psychology of neediness and explore practical, realistic methods for reducing it, to allow you to experience deep connections and to actually get what you want (sometimes)..
