What do you want for your blended family this year? More connection? Less tension? Genuine fun and laughter? Whatever it is, there's one thing for sure — it's not going to happen by accident. We've been blending for more than 20 years. In that time, we've seen that the best and biggest wins happened when we were intentional. We had to decide what we wanted to change and then do something about it. That might sound too simple. Maybe what you really want feels impossible. You might be in a painful...
Jan 04, 2022•46 min
Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know! We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share Ready for some extra support? We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https:/...
Dec 31, 2021•3 min
What lessons have you learned this year… …or maybe through your whole blending experience? You know that old saying "hindsight is 20/20". Most of us have experienced the painful reality of that statement more than once in our lifetime. But something we've discovered is that we don't always have to wait around for hindsight. If we're wise, we'll listen to others share about their life lessons. We'll watch what they do and try to avoid the same pitfalls. In this episode, we're sharing 3 valuable i...
Dec 28, 2021•49 min
Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know! We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share Ready for some extra support? We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https:/...
Dec 24, 2021•2 min
There are two things most of us want in our marriage: to be heard and to be understood. Even when we're struggling with disagreement or in a season of tension, if we know we're being heard and understood, we can move beyond just about anything. In a word, we all need empathy from our partner. But you can't force your spouse to have empathy for you. You only have the capacity to have empathy for them (which can positively impact just about everything). And there are most likely a few barriers tha...
Dec 21, 2021•41 min
Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know! We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share Ready for some extra support? We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence, and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https:...
Dec 17, 2021•3 min
You want a happy, peaceful, fun holiday this year, right? But maybe the misunderstandings, complex calendar, or someone's attitude threatens to get in the way. Blending holiday traditions is just one of many challenges we experience in stepfamily life. In this episode, we're talking with Joneen Mackenzie and Lauren Reitsema about their personal story with blending holiday traditions. They're a mother-daughter duo who teach the essential skills of building healthy relationships. Lauren is the aut...
Dec 14, 2021•1 hr 3 min
Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know! We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share Ready for some extra support? We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https:/...
Dec 10, 2021•3 min
Do you ever wonder about your future relationship with your kids and step-kids? The truth is, you're laying the foundation for that future relationship now. Each interaction with your kids either builds ups, or erodes, the future you really want. One of the things that threatens that future relationship can be summed up in one word: Parenting. Over the years, we've discovered that our parenting can tend to get over-focused on correction and direction. While both of those are important, it's crit...
Dec 07, 2021•48 min
Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know! We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share Ready for some extra support? We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https:/...
Dec 03, 2021•3 min
It's the most wonderful time of the year! Or is it? The holiday season is upon us and we all hope for something wonderful in our blended family this year. But for many of us, the holidays might bring up dread instead. Why? Simply because — well, it just isn't simple for stepfamilies! The holiday season for many of us seems to create challenges. Negotiating with the Ex, with the kids, and with each other can be stressful. Relational tensions can escalate, dashing our hopeful expectations. Then di...
Nov 30, 2021•40 min
Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know! We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share Ready for some extra support? We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https:/...
Nov 26, 2021•2 min
We all know that we have plenty of things to be grateful for. But how often do we slow down enough to discover just how much we really have? Taking the time to "count your blessings" isn't just about appreciating life. Research shows that choosing gratitude actually improves every aspect of your well-being. Gratitude changes your life. We've come to realize that there are 3 areas where we can discover gratitude - one of them might surprise you. In this episode, we'll share those 3 specific areas...
Nov 23, 2021•46 min
Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know! We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share Ready for some extra support? We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https:/...
Nov 19, 2021•2 min
You probably want to experience satisfaction, joy, fulfillment, and great relationships in your blended family. But if you're anything like us there are some days where a sneaky little thought pattern creeps in. It's subtle at first. A bit of envy because your friend seems so close to their spouse — you'd like that kind of closeness in your marriage. Or a twinge of jealousy because the kids seem to talk about having so much fun at the other home with your former spouse. Maybe we're the only ones...
Nov 16, 2021•50 min
Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know! We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share Ready for some extra support? We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: https:/...
Nov 12, 2021•2 min
Imagine a time that co-parenting with your Ex is reasonable, collaborative, and maybe even pleasant. Is that hard for you to imagine? Often it feels like all the pain from the past and differing perspectives hijacks your ability to cooperate effectively. And ultimately, when co-parenting breaks down it's the kids who pay the price. The tension between their homes robs kids of just being themselves and feeling secure in both homes. I wish we could give you the "magic formula" to perfect your co-p...
Nov 09, 2021•53 min
Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question: Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the podcast? Let us know! We've made it easy…just click here: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share Ready for some extra support? We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a free coaching call to see how we might help you experience more clarity, confidence and connection in your home. Schedule your free call here: http...
Nov 05, 2021•2 min
You probably want your kids to feel secure, relax, and just be kids. But when kids are caught in the middle of tension between you and your former spouse, all that stress steals away their security and their peace. We know how hard it is to work with an Ex that doesn't seem to want to co-parent well — even for the sake of the kids. It can be maddening! One thing that helps is to recognize and name the dynamic that's happening between you and your former spouse. That's what this episode is all ab...
Nov 02, 2021•46 min
We all want to find those times to recharge and replenish. Sometimes it seems like those moments will never come. The truth is, those opportunities to pause don't usually just drop in our lap. Most of the time we need to be strategic about pausing and creating healthy margin in our lives. We've got some thoughts to share about that as well as an important announcement in this episode. Our message is short, but relevant to everyone. You might need to think about what a "strategic pause" looks lik...
Sep 28, 2021•11 min
We all want to love our kids well. We want to be a safe place for them to process. We want them to be open and authentic with us. The problem is, their losses and emotions can be hard for us to understand. Sometimes we do our best to help them move through those old hurts and hang-ups without realizing our efforts are keeping them stuck. That was something I (Mike) experienced growing up. My dad and step-mom simply wanted to move forward, but some of their choices kept us kids stuck. I'm sharing...
Sep 21, 2021•41 min
Whether you're considering marriage or you've been "blending" for a few years, this episode is for you! Ron Deal is adding a new book to the Smart Stepfamily library called "Preparing to Blend: The Couples Guide to Becoming a Smart Stepfamily". The book releases on the same day we're dropping this episode and we're so excited for you to hear directly from Ron all about it! This fun discussion with Ron will bring insight for you regardless of where you are on the blending journey. And you might d...
Sep 14, 2021•1 hr 3 min
If you're anything like us, you probably want to experience unity and intimacy in your marriage — and in your family. The funny thing is, you probably felt united early on. But somewhere along the way maybe that feeling of unity seemed to break down. Maybe you were working hard to get on the same page. You've tried to keep the peace in your home. You’ve even encouraged everyone in your blended family to just love each other. We've put a ton of energy and time into those things too, but often fel...
Sep 07, 2021•58 min
Wouldn’t it be awesome if everything just "clicked" once you moved everyone under the same roof? Imagine waking up every morning to smiles, hugs and kind words being generously shared among everyone in the family. That's a reality we'd love to live in. But if you're anything like us, that's probably not the reality you've experienced. Our reality has included some really disheartening moments. We've had seasons that were painful and uncertain. And in the midst of what felt like chaos we simply h...
Aug 31, 2021•56 min
Every step-couple wants to experience healthy communication. They want to love each other with their words. But for most of us, when the tension hits and our words matter most — we seem to do our worst. For years, we struggled to communicate when difficult issues popped up. Even the little irritations and disappointments seemed to derail our communication. We frequently found ourselves stuck in painful cycles of conflict — unable to stay connected and effectively work through our issues. Finally...
Aug 24, 2021•1 hr 6 min
Love is all you need — right? It might feel that way in the beginning. You're excited to start "blending" and you're confident you'll figure it out as you go along. But when the unknown and unexpected dynamics of stepfamily life hit, you probably experience more chaos and conflict than you expected. That's when doubt can set in. I (Mike) remember running into a season of doubt. My doubt wasn't only about whether we could make it work — I doubted myself. I wasn't sure I had what it would take to ...
Aug 17, 2021•1 hr 7 min
Did you catch the first two Myths about 1 on 1 time in Episode 103 ? If not, you might want to go back and check that out. In this episode, we're revealing two more myths and replacing them with the counteractive truths that will help you move forward with clarity and confidence. Many parents and stepparents buy into these myths about this 1 on 1 strategy and that robs them of the truth that genuine bonds in their blended family starts with a sense of security in the bio-relationships. The 1 on ...
Aug 10, 2021•33 min
Everyone hopes to experience connection and fun times together as they begin "blending" families… …but when family time is stressful, their high hopes get snatched away, and instead that time becomes a painful reminder that blending isn't as easy as they thought it might be. We remember those moments when our hopes for a bonded family were dashed. And then we started learning about the value of the 1 on 1 strategy for bio relationships. This strategy is the first step in paving the way to what y...
Aug 03, 2021•30 min
Every couple wants to experience connection, peace, and success as they navigate through the ups and downs of blended family life. Most of us know it takes work to have a healthy, thriving marriage — but when the work feels impossible, it's easy to get stuck in painful cycles of unresolved issues and ongoing conflict. In episode 101, we shared 4 "back-breakers" that make the work we needed to do harder than it needs to be. When we're facing these obstacles, things feel impossible and many couple...
Jul 27, 2021•48 min
We all enjoy marriage so much more when things are going smoothly and we're working as a united team. But it's common for blended family couples to feel disconnected and overwhelmed by the problems and pain they experience regularly… ...and it can be easy to start believing it's impossible to move forward. We struggled for years. We were stuck in painful cycles and unresolved issues that almost ended our marriage. Eventually, we discovered 4 obstacles that were making the work we needed to do ha...
Jul 20, 2021•40 min
