We all want our kids to be healthy and safe. We spend lots of time and energy teaching them, encouraging them, and protecting them from the dangers of life. But when it comes to our kids and technology, many of us feel like it's nearly impossible to keep up with the threats our kids are exposed to. Research shows that technology is the number one reason parents believe raising their children today is more complicated than in the past — and for those of us in blended families, it's even more comp...
Dec 15, 2020•1 hr 5 min
We all want to enjoy the holiday season with our family — without experiencing tension, disappointment or conflict. Managing all the complexities of blended families can be overwhelming around the holidays. You're merging two family cultures with different ideas about how the holiday season should look… …kids might be looking forward to experiencing past family traditions that are still meaningful to them. On the other hand, adults are focused on creating a whole new experience around holiday fe...
Dec 08, 2020•45 min
For most blended families, tensions are highest when everyone is together. Why is that important to know right now? Because so many are currently working from home, our kids are schooling from home due to the COVID-19 pandemic — and everyone is together almost all of the time! Our normal activities and routines have been disrupted and we're spending more time all together than ever before… …which most often creates higher levels of tension and increased conflict for those of us living in blended...
Dec 01, 2020•42 min
Every parent wants to create a heathy environment for their kids as they move between homes, but conflict between parents does just the opposite — and the results can be detrimental. Even if your Ex treats you with contempt and seems to oppose everything you say or do… …you don't have to lose hope or give up on trying to improve co-parenting interactions. In this episode we'll share a simple strategy and practical tools to help you show up in a way that can make a real difference in your co-pare...
Nov 24, 2020•45 min
Are you frustrated with your spouse's lack of motivation to get help with you? You might be surprised to learn that motivation is not a character trait, it's really a state of mind. And here's the good news — by understanding what actually motivates your spouse, you can discover the best way to approach them and positively encourage forward movement. In this episode we're interviewing motivation experts, Matt and Maria Granados. Matt and Maria began their journey of helping others build an inten...
Nov 17, 2020•45 min
If you're ready to get some help navigating blended family life and explore new ways to improve things in your relationship — but your partner isn't interested… …this episode is for YOU! 10 years into our marriage, we were not on the same page about getting help. We were facing an unknown future and Mike wanted us to get professional help — but I (Kim) wasn't willing to do anything new. This was an extremely difficult season for us and we almost didn't make it to the other side. In this episode,...
Nov 10, 2020•42 min
Blended family dynamics will inevitably create a mine-field of challenging situations and if there's one thing you can expect, it's this… …you're going to get your feelings hurt and sustain some emotional wounds! That's why it's so important to understand the art and science of forgiveness. Whether it's a rude step-child or a toxic Ex — or even your current spouse, choosing to forgive someone doesn't mean you're just letting the other person off the hook. Forgiveness is about releasing yourself ...
Nov 03, 2020•43 min
What's the key to overcoming parent-child allegiances? In a word — it's UNITY! Over the previous several episodes we've talked about some of the emotional barriers that bio-parents often experience. We also covered those "easy wrong turns" that stepparents tend to make while navigating a parent-child allegiance. As you're working through your own emotions and mindsets, you'll also need to intentionally build unity so that you can become effective parenting partners and work as a team. In this ep...
Oct 27, 2020•50 min
This episode is the second half of our conversation focused on the "easy wrong turns" many stepparents make when they're frustrated with feeling stuck on the outside of a parent-child allegiance (between their spouse and his or her kids). If you missed the last episode, you may want to go back and listen to Episode 61 first — then come back here to catch the second half of the conversation where we'll dive into a few more of the "easy wrong turns" and why they won't help you build the unity you'...
Oct 20, 2020•33 min
Stepparents, you want to be a part of the team — in your marriage and in your family. But it can often feel like you're stuck on the outside of the "allegiance" that's formed between your spouse and his or her kids. That's when the frustration, hurt or anger sets in and you end up in the danger zone of allowing "easy wrong turns" to dictate your attitude. It's these easy wrong turns that actually rob you of the teamwork and unity you're actually looking for. And there are some simple things you ...
Oct 13, 2020•35 min
This episode is the second half of our conversation focused on the challenging emotional barriers many bio-parents face in blended families. Often these barriers lead to a dynamic called a parent-child allegiance. If you missed the last episode, you may want to go back and listen to Episode 59 first — then come back here to catch the second half of the conversation where we'll talk about moving beyond those barriers and breaking free of parent-child allegiances. And in the coming weeks, keep an ...
Oct 06, 2020•35 min
"Things are so great between us…until the kids are around! Then there's just a ton of tension and we end up arguing about everything!" We've heard this from countless step couples over the years. It isn't surprising because stepfamily structure puts couples on opposite ends of an experiential divide — leaving us feeling frustrated and maybe even hopeless. But here's what we've discovered… …at the root of stepfamily structure are relationships that have been reordered. This leads to a dynamic cal...
Sep 29, 2020•28 min
It's the final day of Your Next Step Challenge It's time to get started and take action toward reaching the hopes and dreams you have for you blended family! All the steps you've taken so far are about to pay off as you begin to work your plan and make real progress… …and we're here to offer our support! We've got new insights to share and a few reminders that will help you to launch your plan, stay consistent and complete the challenge! You'll Discover: The right focus and mindset that'll lead ...
Sep 26, 2020•21 min
It's Day 4 of Your Next Steps Challenge … Today is all about anticipating the obstacles that could keep you from living out your good intentions for your blended family. We'll uncover the most common roadblocks to growth — and help you proactively prepare and respond so that you don't lose motivation or get stuck. So grab a note card and get ready to overcome your biggest obstacle by capturing specific strategies that'll keep you moving forward to reach your goals! You'll Discover: 5 of the most...
Sep 25, 2020•21 min
It's day 3 of Your Next Step Challenge … …and it's all about putting a tangible plan together! Today you'll be considering 4 specific steps to take that will help you take action with confidence and clarity. When you take the time to do these 4 things, you'll set yourself up for success! So, grab something to take notes with and let's find out how you can Chart Your Course forward! You'll Discover: The dangers of a "winging it" mentality The 4 Steps that will help you chart an actionable course ...
Sep 24, 2020•21 min
It's day 2 of Your Next Step Challenge! Yesterday we kicked off the challenge with step 1 — 'Find Your Focus'. Now that you've taken that step to select one area of blended family life that you'd like to focus on…that area where you most need to grow and development — it's time to take the next step! Today's challenge is to 'Choose Your Path'! You'll identify your most effective learning style and then consider how you can make this season of development a priority. We know how crazy busy family...
Sep 23, 2020•15 min
You've probably got great intentions for your blended family. You want to gain understanding and discover new skills that will help you "do things right" But chances are, when you realize how much there is to learn you might get overwhelmed — especially when you hit those inevitable bumps in the road that create setbacks and leave you feeling disappointed and discouraged. And all that overwhelm, disappointment and discouragement robs you of something… …it robs you of your hope. We know what it's...
Sep 22, 2020•21 min
We all start out with high hopes, big dreams and some expectations about what our blended family life will be like — and they seem very reasonable…. …until everyone's living under the same roof! Once our families merge, we begin to realize just how difficult (and different) things are. That's when disappointment sets in leaving us vulnerable to getting stuck in discouragement. In this episode, we'll explore some unhealthy ways most of us tend to cope with disappointment. Then we'll share a simpl...
Sep 15, 2020•56 min
It takes a lot of energy and effort to make a blended family work… …and when we don't see the results we want, we can get stuck in discouragement. In this episode we'll be talking with our clients Jake and Whitney who have experienced their fair share of disappointment and discouragement. Jake and Whitney describe feeling "Hopeless, Defeated and Angry"…but they didn't allow themselves to get stuck there. They've consistently devoted themselves to their development — both individually and as a co...
Sep 08, 2020•52 min
It's common for blended family couples to get stuck in discouragement when they've experienced challenging setbacks and feel like they've failed over and over. We've been there and we'll share the most difficult season of our marriage — when we were both so discouraged that we almost called it quits! Thankfully, we learned how to break free from discouragement — and you can too. Listen in to this first episode in a 3-part series and discover a simple, yet effective communication tool that'll hel...
Sep 01, 2020•41 min
One of the biggest challenges we've faced as a couple has been learning how to openly communicate — especially when we don't agree. Mike tends to raise his voice, criticize and make demands. I tend to disconnect and hold my tongue even when there's something I really should be communicating. We spent years stuck in painful cycles of conflict, misunderstanding and confusion. Thankfully, healthy communication is a skill we have intentionally developed — and it's made a HUGE difference in our abili...
Aug 25, 2020•46 min
The question we're often asked is this: Should my highest priority be my marriage or my kids? If you're a bio-parent, you might be concerned about making sure that your kids are feeling secure and cared for — they've always been your priority and maybe you're wondering why that should change. And if you're a step-parent, you probably entered into marriage thinking that you'd be at the top of your spouse's priority list and that you'd have a say in all the family's decisions. This is exactly wher...
Aug 18, 2020•39 min
Do you ever wonder what it might be like for your kids — moving back and forth between two homes? Whether your kids are moving between two allies or between two "countries at war", there's likely to be some tension. Reducing that tension is really up to the adults…and that starts with you. In this episode, we've got a very special guest who knows what it's like to move back and forth between mom and dad's house — because that was a big part of her story. Now, she's drawing on that experience and...
Aug 11, 2020•36 min
It's uncomfortable for any stepparent to admit they don't like their own step-child. But faking, avoiding or trying to grit your way through doesn't seem to help much. Mike has fessed up over the years about the times he struggled to connect with my daughter Annika. Their personalities are very different and he didn't always agree with my approach to parenting — which really meant that he disliked her behavior. That sometimes lead to frustration and irritation and he didn't really enjoy being ar...
Aug 04, 2020•45 min
Do you ever think back to when you and your spouse just started dating? You know — when you felt really connected and things seemed so much easier. But now the reality of busy family life seems to interfere with your marriage, creating disconnection and maybe even conflict. You're probably frustrated by all the relational challenges — especially around step-kids and parenting issues. It's tough for any stepparent to admit it, but sometimes they really do feel like their step-kids are ruining the...
Jul 28, 2020•31 min
As a stepmom, you probably want to experience reasonable cooperation with your husband's Ex-wife. You want to work as a team for the benefit of the kids. And you might be feeling frustrated if this seems to be impossible — especially when she refuses to acknowledge you or freaks out about your involvement with the kids. You might feel like you're being unfairly judged. Maybe you're even tempted to lash out. But these emotionally charged dynamics are something to move through — not fight against....
Jul 21, 2020•44 min
Stepparents — we're betting you came into your blended family with the BEST intentions. You want to thoughtfully care for your step-kid(s) and bring value as you lovingly support then — and your spouse. You really want to contribute good things to their lives! But does it feel like all the good things you do seem to get overlooked by your spouse's Ex? Are you often the target of harsh criticism? …or, have they even gone so far as to try and turn the kids against you? It's hurtful and confusing w...
Jul 14, 2020•29 min
Wouldn't it be awesome for your kids to experience lots of consistency between their two homes? It can feel overwhelming (sometimes impossible) to try and make that happen when you're kids are moving back and forth. Some co-parents are able to work together and establish matching ideals and expectations for the kids — but more often than not, this isn't the case. When there's different values and priorities, disagreement and conflict between you and your Ex can escalate. That makes creating cons...
Jul 07, 2020•34 min
Everyone knows how important it is for kids to have a meaningful relationship with both of their parents — and it's best when they can freely enjoy time in each home. And when one parent tries to distance the kids from the other parent, it can be tragic. The attempt one parent might make to intentionally and systematically distance a child from their other parent has a name — it's called Parental Alienation. We personally know the heartache that comes with Parental Alienation. At one point in ou...
Jun 30, 2020•40 min
You want your kids to experience freedom from stress and concern as they move between their two homes. You want them to be able to love both of their parents — without feeling like there are strings attached. To make sure that's what your kids experience, you're probably very careful about the way you talk about your Ex when the kids are around… …but are you sure you're not unintentionally putting them in the middle, even in subtle ways? It can be tough to know when and what to say about an Ex w...
Jun 23, 2020•39 min
