How do you make decisions when you’re not sure you can trust your emotions? This week Luke welcomes Sy Bee back to resume their discussion from last week. They continue exploring the differences between emotionally-based and values-based decisions. Tune in to hear: Sy’s personal experiences of triumphs and failures What is meant by “shadow emotions” The dangers of letting your inner child drive your decisions Book a session with Sy Chapters 01:26 Emotionally Based Decisions 04:37 Understanding V...
Jul 17, 2025•38 min
Ever wonder why your brain tells you to quit long before you actually need to? In this powerful episode, Luke and fellow Choose Recovery Services coach Sy Bee discuss how doing hard things can transform your recovery and help you discover your authentic self. You'll learn why physical challenges aren't just about fitness, but about building unshakeable confidence that no one can take away from you. Listen to learn: How physical challenges rewire your brain The difference between emotion-driven d...
Jul 10, 2025•33 min
What’s the difference between noticing and objectifying? This week Luke welcomes guest Stephen Thomas (fellow coach at Choose Recovery Services). Their conversation will challenge your perspective on what healthy sexuality looks like and reveal the hidden costs of reducing people to their physical appearance. Learn: The crucial difference between noticing attractiveness and objectifying someone How objectification hurts both strangers and your own partner (even when they're not around) Why becom...
Jul 03, 2025•33 min
Are you confused about whether your partner can help you in your healing journey or if you need to do it alone? This powerful episode breaks down the myth that it's an either/or situation. This week Luke shares an episode he did with Alana Gordon on the Choose To Be podcast . Together they dive deep into the three essential ways partners can support healing—emotional availability, accountability, and co-regulation—while exploring why ultimate responsibility for healing must remain with you. Regi...
Jun 26, 2025•34 min
Have you followed all the recommended steps in your recovery yet still feel stuck? This week Alana Gordon (LMFT, betrayal trauma coach, and Director at Choose Recovery Services) joins Luke, and together they dive into the importance of somatic healing. Discover how addressing the trauma stored in your body can transform everything about your recovery journey. Chapters 01:10 Welcoming Alana Gordon 03:11 Luke’s Personal Story 07:33 The Importance of Somatic Work 15:13 The Role of Other Modalities ...
Jun 19, 2025•27 min
How does entitlement fuel betrayal in relationships? This week Luke welcomes therapist Hope Ray (LPC, CSAT, CHFP, CCPS) to explore how entitlement impacts relationships and fidelity. They discuss the D.I.R.E. model and how overcoming old programming is key to rebuilding trust and authenticity in partnerships. Learn more about Hope at https://www.hoperay.com/ Chapters 01:23 Introducing Hope Ray 03:17 The D.I.R.E. Model 09:23 Exploring Entitlement 19:45 Family of Origin 25:23 Rebuilding Trust and ...
Jun 12, 2025•34 min
Do you feel like you're never enough? This week Luke shares a transformative moment in therapy that reshaped his healing journey, addressing the deep-rooted belief of insufficiency. Learn how to recognize and fill the internal void, and discover the keys to nurturing your authentic self through heartfelt honesty, compassion, and persistent growth. This episode offers a powerful invitation to shift from seeking external validation to embracing your inherent worth. Chapters 02:16 The Myth of “Enou...
Jun 05, 2025•13 min
Are you struggling to rebuild trust after betrayal? This week Luke welcomes Hali Roderick to the podcast. Hali is a coach at Choose Recovery Services , co-host of the podcast Choosing to Stay After Infidelity and Betrayal , and she hosts our free monthly webinar, Road to Recovery . Luke and Hali debunk common myths about relational healing and emphasize the importance of creating safety and stability. Learn how to manage triggers, develop healthier attachment styles, and rediscover intimacy thro...
May 29, 2025•25 min
Struggling with betrayal or trying to rebuild trust? Join Luke and his guest Staci Somes (Licensed Professional Counselor and coach at Choose Recovery Services) as they discuss managing stressors, recovery, and life. This episode explores coping mechanisms, identifies unhealthy patterns, and shows how to find balance through healthy strategies. Discover how to navigate your emotional journey and show up as your true self. Chapters 01:27 Meet Staci 03:00 Understanding Coping Mechanisms 07:24 Heal...
May 22, 2025•26 min
What do beliefs have to do with personal growth? This week, Luke explores how ingrained belief systems shape our behaviors, often outside our values, and the steps we can take to rewrite these faulty beliefs. Learn how to challenge and replace core beliefs, and discover how doing so can transform your life. Chapters 02:17 Understanding Belief Systems 03:11 Defining and Recognizing Beliefs 05:20 The Addictive System and Beliefs 07:50 Challenging and Changing Beliefs 09:54 Practical Exercises for ...
May 15, 2025•17 min
Ever wondered what a full disclosure process entails? This week Luke outlines each stage of full disclosure. He breaks down each step from initial inquiry to the post-disclosure phase, offering insights and guidance to help you navigate the complexities of truth-telling and recovery. Get our FREE eBook “Is a Full Therapeutic Disclosure Right For Me?” delivered straight to your inbox. Sign up here! Listen to our five-part series about the disclosure process: Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 , an...
May 08, 2025•22 min
How do you define masculinity? In this episode, we explore the inherited beliefs about what it means to be a man and discuss how to reclaim masculinity by embracing vulnerability and authenticity. Discover the intersection of toxic masculinity, recovery, and feminism, and learn practical tools for fostering genuine connections and healing from systemic shame. Join us as we redefine what it truly means to be strong. Chapters 03:15 Defining Toxic Masculinity 04:11 Linking Masculinity to Addiction ...
May 01, 2025•17 min
Does it feel like your partner is more likely to take advice from others rather than you? In this episode Alana Gordon (LMFT, founder of Choose Recovery Services , and co-host of the Choose To Be podcast) joins Luke and they unpack the complexities of why men often don’t accept feedback from their partners. (Hint: It has a lot to do with shame and values.) Chapters 00:50 The Communication Gap 02:32 Root Causes 07:24 Addressing Shame 08:59 Practical Advice Watch the episode on YouTube HERE Re...
Apr 24, 2025•15 min
What does it mean to be masculine? This week Alana Gordon (LMFT, CCPS, Director of Choose Recovery Services, and co-host of the Choose To Be podcast) joins Luke and together they explore the line between healthy masculinity and toxic behaviors. They shed light on vulnerability, emotional suppression, and how to reclaim a healthier version of manhood. Chapters 01:28 Defining Masculinity vs. Healthy Masculinity 06:35 Impact of Toxic Masculinity 14:46 The Pendulum Swing 18:22 The Role of Vulnerabil...
Apr 17, 2025•35 min
Have you ever wondered why lying feels like a reflex? This week Luke dives deep into the neuroscience and psychology behind dishonesty. Discover how lying serves as a survival mechanism, and learn practical strategies for building boundaries that bring us back into integrity. Through personal stories and expert insights, find out how to manage and reduce dishonest behavior in yourself and your relationships. Chapters 01:38 The Struggle with Lying 04:39 The Neuroscience of Lying 06:38 Psychologic...
Apr 03, 2025•20 min
Do you know what happens in your brain when you experience attraction, fantasy, or addictive behaviors? Do you wonder if your thoughts are even normal? This week Luke explains the six levels of sexual response, from initial noticing to compulsive behavior. Understand more how your brain works and learn how to think and communicate authentically about your experiences. Chapters 01:08 Understanding the Brain 04:52 Awareness and Acknowledgement 07:36 Interest and Engagement 09:04 Cognitive Engageme...
Mar 27, 2025•16 min
Feeling scattered or disconnected from your authentic self? This week Luke is joined by his guest, Darren, and together they delve into the power of daily rituals for stability and self-care. Learn actionable steps to incorporate dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin-enhancing activities into your routine to aid in recovery. Discover the profound impact of intentionality and consistency over perfectionism in your journey towards holistic well-being. Referenced in this episode: Atomic Habits by James...
Mar 20, 2025•40 min
Have you ever questioned if you're with the right therapist or coach? In this episode Luke welcomes back Gary Katz (LCSW, CSAT, CPTT, and Director at Center for Intimacy Recovery ) and together they discuss the essentials of finding the right therapeutic fit, the signs of a good therapeutic relationship, and challenges specific to betrayal trauma and sexual addiction therapy. Connect with Gary by visiting his website or emailing him at garykatz@intimacyrecovery.com . Listen to our past episode w...
Mar 13, 2025•43 min
Have you ever felt like a part of you is holding you back? This week Alana Gordon (LMFT, founder of Choose Recovery Services , and co-host of the Choose To Be podcast) joins Luke, and together they explore the transformative journey of parts work and the power of self-acceptance in healing. Luke courageously shares his own story of how understanding his protective parts led to breakthrough moments in his recovery. Discover powerful insights on acknowledging and understanding the different parts ...
Mar 07, 2025•25 min
Have you ever noticed that anger often leads to sexually acting out? In this episode, Luke and guest Gene Huneycutt (Choose Recovery Services coach and storywork practitioner) dive into the rarely discussed link between anger and lust. Through personal stories and insightful commentary, they examine how unresolved anger can fuel sexual acting out, and how recognizing this pattern is essential for stopping the behavior and responding in a way that aligns with your values. Learn more about Gene an...
Feb 27, 2025•38 min
This week Alana Gordon (LMFT and co-host of the Choose To Be podcast) joins Luke as they explore the crucial first step in overcoming compulsive behavior: breaking through denial. Learn about the importance of accepting feedback, taking responsibility, and facing discomfort to become your true self and transform your relationships. Chapters 01:03 Breaking Through Denial: The First Step 02:12 Understanding Denial and Levels of Awareness 07:02 Personal Responsibility and Self-Assessment 17:52 The ...
Feb 20, 2025•40 min
Sometimes the road to recovery can lead to intense feelings of grief and loss. This week, Luke challenges our understanding of grief by exploring how it shows up in unexpected ways during recovery and transformation. Through personal stories and powerful insights, Luke shows us why letting go of old patterns - even the destructive ones - can feel like losing a familiar friend, but is so necessary when striving to change and heal. Chapters 01:11 Understanding Grief Beyond Loss 02:40 Personal Jour...
Feb 13, 2025•20 min
This week Luke joins Alana Gordon (co-owner and founder of Choose Recovery Services as well as a licensed marriage and family therapist) on her podcast, Choose To Be . Luke opens up about living with ADHD and demand avoidance. Luke and Alana explore how these dynamics impact their interactions and the steps they take to maintain a balanced and empathetic relationship. Chapters 04:09 Understanding Demand Avoidance in ADHD 10:02 Navigating Relationships with ADHD 21:55 Personal Reflections and Hea...
Jan 30, 2025•32 min
Do you feel powerless in your relationship? This week Luke explores the roots of resentment and how it often stems from feeling a lack of control. Through personal stories and actionable steps, Luke guides you on reclaiming your power and making intentional decisions that align with your values. Discover how to express emotions constructively and build a more authentic relationship with yourself and others. Chapters 01:14 Feedback from the Unmasked Intensive 03:12 Understanding Resentment and Po...
Jan 23, 2025•19 min
This week Luke tackles one of the most challenging aspects of relationships: staying grounded when your partner is triggered. Learn how the CAVR method, focusing on curiosity, isn’t just a communication tool–it’s actually a powerful way to regulate yourself and stay within your window of tolerance during difficult conversations. Chapters 01:32 Introducing the CAVR Tool 02:17 Curiosity Can Help 04:53 Real Life Applications 08:11 Validating and Acknowledging Emotions Watch the episode on YouTube ...
Jan 17, 2025•14 min
What if the coping mechanisms you rely on most are actually process addictions in disguise? This week Luke sits down with Gary Katz , a licensed clinical social worker, certified addiction therapist, and director of the Center for Intimacy Recovery in New York. Together they discuss what process addiction is, the role of sobriety when tackling process addictions, and how these addictions can mask root issues that need addressing. Through vulnerable personal stories and expert insights, Luke...
Jan 09, 2025•36 min
What is the distinction between self-pity and empathy? Luke explores this crucial difference this week with his guest, Alana Gordon (LMFT, betrayal trauma coach, and Director at Choose Recovery Services). Together they discuss how self-pity, often mistaken for genuine remorse, can actually block authentic connection and prevent real healing. Through their personal story of betrayal and recovery, they reveal why well-intentioned attempts to show remorse can backfire, and they share insights about...
Jan 02, 2025•22 min
Are you struggling to stay present amidst the chaos of the holiday season? Join Luke as he offers practical tools like grounding exercises, mindfulness strategies, and gratitude practices to help you reconnect with yourself and those around you. Explore how staying present can transform not only your holiday experience but your journey toward authenticity. Chapters 01:10 The Importance of Presence 01:54 Understanding Somatic Healing 03:06 Guided Meditation Exercise 09:23 Staying Present During t...
Dec 26, 2024•19 min
This week Luke has a powerful conversation with Kevin Meek, a peer mentor to those who are on the path of recovery and healing. Kevin has 13 years of recovery and sobriety from acting out behaviors. Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder at the age of 50, Kevin shares his journey, the struggles of masking and camouflaging, and the tools he’s used to foster authentic connections in his relationships. Chapters 01:22 Introducing Kevin Meek 01:42 Kevin’s Journey to Diagnosis 05:12 Understanding Aut...
Dec 12, 2024•30 min
Do you ever feel like there are things your partner can’t handle, so you find yourself shielding them from the whole truth? Join Luke this week and his guest Laura Fisher , a fellow coach at Choose Recovery Services, as they explore why hiding the truth can be more damaging than the truth itself. End the cycle of secrecy and learn how transparency can be the key to rebuilding trust and intimacy after betrayal. Chapters 01:12 Information on Upcoming Unmasked Intensive 01:54 Introducing Laura Fish...
Dec 05, 2024•25 min
