Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting - podcast cover

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting

Dr. Lisa Damour/Good Trouble Productionswww.drlisadamour.com
“Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting” is the essential podcast for parents seeking expert guidance, tested strategies, and psychological insights on raising kids, especially tweens and teens. Join renowned clinical psychologist Dr. Lisa Damour and former journalist and mom of two Reena Ninan as they explore real-life parenting challenges.   Looking to learn more about how to boost kids’ resilience, build their confidence, or support their emotional well-being? Dr. Lisa and Reena have got you covered! Together they address listener questions about stress, anxiety, social media concerns, school pressures, and challenges in peer relationships. Each episode provides practical advice and science-backed solutions to help parents raise resilient, confident, and emotionally healthy kids. Tune in every week for the latest topics in parenting, child psychology, and family wellness. Get answers to your most pressing parenting questions. New episodes drop every Tuesday. Keywords: ask lisa podcast, dr. lisa damour, reena ninan, psychology, parenting, podcast, teens, tweens, parenting teens, parenting tweens, teen parenting, tween parenting, parenting tips, parenting advice, positive parenting, parenting podcast, teen behavior, tween challenges, raising tweens, raising teens, parenting hacks, parenting help, family dynamics, kids podcast, mental health, teen mental health, attachment styles, emotional intelligence

Episodes

154: The 5 Principles of Parenting: with Dr. Aliza Pressman

Special guest Dr. Aliza Pressman, developmental psychologist and podcast host, discusses her new book, "The Five Principles of Parenting," with Dr. Lisa and Reena. Dr. Pressman introduces five key components of helping children thrive: Relationship, Reflection, Regulation, Rules, and Repair. While there is no such thing as a perfect approach to parenting, Dr. Pressman explains why giving thought to one’s personal values can help you and your kids navigate difficult moments. This episode also add...

Jan 23, 202444 minSeason 1Ep. 154

153: Encore: How Do We Help Kids Through Divorce?

It’s never easy to decide to end a marriage. Parents want to protect their kids as the divorce process unfolds and want to help them navigate changing family dynamics. Dr. Lisa discusses how kids process divorce at different ages and the importance of helping your children feel secure and loved while shielding them from conflict. Dr. Lisa and Reena also address how to help kids understand that the break up was not their fault. Follow and subscribe to our YouTube channel where you can see all our...

Jan 16, 202432 minSeason 1Ep. 153

152: Will Social Media Harm My Kid?

Parents often find themselves caught between frightening headlines about the dangers of social media and kids who want access to it. Dr. Lisa and Reena address a letter from a parent of three - ages 9, 12, and 14 - asking for guidance. Drawing on research findings and clinical experience, this episode covers when to consider allowing social media, sensible rules for responsible use, the role of gender, and how to minimize social media’s downsides. Dr. Lisa and Reena offer insights, tips, and pra...

Jan 09, 202429 minSeason 1Ep. 152

151: How Do I Find Balance in 2024?

Happy New Year! As we turn to making New Year’s resolutions, Dr. Lisa would like us to approach 2024 in a fresh way: instead of trying to “optimize” ourselves by making the most of every minute, she suggests that we focus on restoration. Why? Because the inevitable stress of daily life can actually help us grow if we get serious about how we recover. Dr. Lisa and Reena dive into why we need to prioritize restoration, how restoration differs from coping, and why guilt-soaked restoration doesn’t w...

Jan 02, 202431 minSeason 1Ep. 151

150: Encore: How Do I Get My Son to Stop Picking On His Little Sister?

Why are tweens and teens sometimes so cruel to their younger siblings? This is a common dynamic in family life, and one that can get worse over the holidays when siblings spend a lot of time together. Dr. Lisa takes us inside the adolescent brain and explains how the onset of puberty can make it hard for kids to control their emotions. She and Reena also address the place of gendered dynamics in sibling interactions, how not to shame kids when they’ve crossed a line, and what parents can do duri...

Dec 26, 202331 min

149: Encore: Should I Bribe My Kid?

What can parents try when we can’t get our kids to do what we ask? Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack how to motivate kids without nagging or yelling and discuss when bribery might be an effective strategy to consider. Their conversation also answers several key questions: How do you respond to a kid who reflexively says “no” to everything you suggest? Is it okay to bribe kids to improve their grades? What other incentives really work and when should they be used? Follow and subscribe to our YouTube chan...

Dec 19, 202329 minSeason 1Ep. 149

148: What Should I Do With Dicey Information About Other People’s Kids?

When a teen tells us about a peer’s risky behavior, what’s the right thing to do? Should we keep our teen’s confidence, or should we alert the parents of the kid we are worried about? Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle a letter from a parent who has built a strong sense of trust with her teens and often hears about dangerous behavior - including substance use and worrisome sexual activity - happening in their peer group. Dr. Lisa offers her practical parenting wisdom on when it makes sense to just listen...

Dec 12, 202327 minSeason 1Ep. 148

147: Girls Are Harassing My Son. What Should I Do?

Getting a lot of attention from girls might not seem like a problem. But a mother writes in asking Dr. Lisa for advice on how to deal with the fact that girls are fawning over her son who wants no part of it. He feels embarrassed by the attention and finds that ignoring it only seems to be making the situation worse. The boy’s father worries that his son might develop a reputation for being the “mean kid” for not acknowledging or responding to the girls’ incessant overtures. Dr. Lisa and Reena d...

Dec 05, 202333 minSeason 1Ep. 147

146: What's the Best Way to Help a Kid with ADHD?

Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle the nuances of ADHD: what to look for, when to be concerned, and the overlap between ADHD and executive functioning challenges. Dr. Lisa unpacks how, ideally, an ADHD diagnosis is made and the treatment options for kids and teenagers who receive the diagnosis. The conversation also answers some key questions about when medication should be considered, whether taking medication for ADHD increases the risks of misusing substances, and whether a medication trial can be use...

Nov 28, 202327 minSeason 1Ep. 146

145: Encore: My Kids Lose it When They Make Sports Mistakes. How Can I Help?

Sports is not just about the final score. It’s an opportunity for kids to grow, to learn how to improve their skills, and to be a good teammate. But athletics today can be incredibly competitive, aggressive, and emotionally intense. Dr. Lisa offers strategies for when kids lose their cool when things don’t go their way and explains how to help kids manage their reactions when they make mistakes. Reena asks about how far you should push a kid who wants to quit a sport they’re good at and if we sh...

Nov 21, 202331 minSeason 1Ep. 145

144: How Much Should I Share About My Kids?

Parents can feel worried when their teen first starts driving or riding around in friends’ cars. What can parents do to help teens stay safe behind the wheel? What rules should be put in place and how well do those rules work? Dr. Lisa and Reena answer these questions and more while also addressing graduated drivers’ license laws and the part they play in reducing accidents among young drivers. Follow and subscribe to our new YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https...

Nov 14, 202330 minSeason 1Ep. 144

143: How Do I Raise A Compassionate Child? With Dr. Traci Baxley

Special guest professor Dr. Traci Baxley joins the Ask Lisa podcast. She is the author of Social Justice Parenting: How to Raise Compassionate, Anti-racist, Justice-minded Kids in an Unjust World. Dr. Baxley talks with Dr. Lisa and Reena about why it matters to raise caring, socially conscious kids - and how to do so. This episode unpacks the difference between compassion, empathy, and kindness and tackles questions from listeners including: How do you get siblings to be compassionate with each ...

Nov 07, 202336 minSeason 1Ep. 143

142: Should My Teen Be In Cars with New Drivers?

Parents can feel worried when their teen first starts driving or riding around in friends’ cars. What can parents do to help teens stay safe behind the wheel? What rules should be put in place and how well do those rules work? Dr. Lisa and Reena answer these questions and more while also addressing graduated drivers’ license laws and the part they play in reducing accidents among young drivers. Follow and subscribe to our new YouTube channel where you can see all our latest video episodes: https...

Oct 31, 202329 minSeason 1Ep. 142

141: How Do Stop Riding My Kid's Emotional Roller Coaster?

A parent writes in about a middle schooler's intense emotional swings which leave the parent feeling uncertain about how to respond. Dr. Lisa and Reena dive into the psychology of these rollercoaster emotions, discuss whether this behavior is typical at this age, and address how parents can strike the delicate balance of offering support without amplifying the mood swings. Dr. Lisa also explains how parents and caregivers can know when they are looking at typical emotional growing pains and when...

Oct 24, 202332 minSeason 1Ep. 141

140: Can I Talk My Teen Out of a Toxic Romance?

A mother writes in asking how to protect her teen from a controlling and degrading relationship. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss the nature of unhealthy relationships and how and when adults should intervene. Reena asks how parents can recognize the early signs of a harmful connection. Lisa explains how thoughtful people can find themselves in bad relationships and why the stakes can be incredibly high for a teen's well-being. Dr. Lisa’s Resource Guide The National Domestic Hotline - 1.800.799.SAFE S...

Oct 17, 202329 min

139: This Is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained with Dr. Cara Natterson and Vanessa Bennett

So what’s really happening when kids go through puberty? Dr. Cara Natterson and Vanessa Bennett join the Ask Lisa podcast to talk about their new book This is So Awkward: Modern Puberty Explained. The conversation takes a deep dive into the research on puberty and tackles key questions: When does puberty start and end? Why do kids suddenly smell bad, and how do we help? What’s the best way to respond to teens’ surging hormones? How do we support late bloomers? And more! Lisa’s Book Recommendatio...

Oct 10, 202358 minSeason 1Ep. 139

138: Should Our Teen Stay Home Alone When We Leave Town?

Parents who need to be out of town for the weekend worry their 16-year-old son will throw a party while they’re away. They want to trust him but can’t shake the feeling that something is brewing. What should parents know about leaving teens home alone? And when should they worry? Dr. Lisa explains the potential consequences of allowing teens to host parties. Reena asks if it’s safer to have teens drinking at your home when adults are present. Their conversation also considers what parents might ...

Oct 03, 202329 minSeason 1Ep. 138

137: How Do I Parent a Teen with a Chronic Health Condition?

Dr. Lisa and Reena tackle two letters about the challenges of parenting teens with chronic health conditions. The first letter centers on addressing a teen’s sense of feeling “different” and asks what parents can do to prevent social isolation. The second letter asks how parents and caregivers can stay out of a power struggle with a teen who may not be following doctor’s orders. Dr. Lisa and Reena answer both questions and, in doing so, offer guidance that will resonate with any parent sharing s...

Sep 26, 202330 minSeason 1Ep. 137

136: Should I Allow My Tween To Wear Crop Tops?

A parent feels uncomfortable when her preteen daughter wears crop tops. She worries about the attention her daughter might receive, but also wonders if she's the one who's out of touch. Dr. Lisa and Reena address the complexities of setting boundaries around what kids wear and how to balance policing attire with allowing kids to express their own style. Reena asks what parents should do if they suspect that a child sneaks prohibited clothing to wear when they're out - and if clothing choices are...

Sep 19, 202329 minSeason 1Ep. 136

135: How Do I Combat My Kid's Perfectionism?

What causes kids to struggle with perfectionism? Dr. Lisa explains why young people sometimes hold themselves to unsustainable standards and how adults can help them to set realistic goals. Reena asks how parents can counter the harmful self-talk that often accompanies perfectionism and when parents should worry that perfectionism could lead to depression. In an episode packed with practical strategies and sample language, Dr. Lisa and Reena address how to help kids take a balanced approach to t...

Sep 12, 202327 minSeason 1Ep. 135

134: My Son and His Friends Use Slurs. Can I Stop This?

A mother writes in about the fact that her teen son and his friends - who come from a mix of racial, religious, and socio-economic backgrounds - "jokingly" use slurs. Does she have the power to stop this? Dr. Lisa and Reena explore what's driving the rise in hateful language and what adults can do to address this hurtful behavior. Reena asks whether it's realistic for adults to think they can change the dynamics that unfold when teens are with their friends. Dr. Lisa offers advice on how to guid...

Sep 05, 202329 minSeason 1Ep. 134

133: A Conversation with U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy

U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy visits the Ask Lisa Podcast to talk about the public health crisis you might not know about: loneliness. He joins co-hosts Dr. Lisa and Reena for a wide-ranging conversation on parenting, being a Dad, access to mental health services, the harms of social media, and what big tech companies can do to help protect our kids online. The episode ends with Dr. Murthy asking Dr. Lisa a thought-provoking question about what parents need now. Surgeon General Advisory ...

Aug 29, 202358 minSeason 1Ep. 133

132: Never Enough: Confronting Toxic Achievement Culture (with author Jennifer Wallace)

Season four of the Ask Lisa podcast kicks off with a special guest, author and journalist Jennifer Breheny Wallace, who discusses her brand new book: “Never Enough: When Achievement Culture Becomes Toxic - And What We Can Do About It.” Dr. Lisa, Reena, and Jennie address how achievement pressure harms kids and what parents can do to combat grind culture. They unpack research from Harvard and the London School of Economics to answer key questions: What do the kids who are thriving in high pressur...

Aug 22, 202339 minSeason 1Ep. 132

131: Encore: How Do I Help My Disorganized High School Kid?

Getting kids ready for the new school year can be a hard transition from summer. In this encore episode we look at helping teens manage their responsibilities during and after high school. Staying organized isn’t just about getting into college - it’s also about having the ability to operate independently. A parent writes in worried about a charming, but disorganized, son. Dr. Lisa explains what executive functioning skills are - and how to help kids build them. Dr. Lisa and Reena address what d...

Aug 15, 202333 minSeason 1Ep. 131

130: Encore: Should I Kick my Kid Off TikTok?

When should parents limit - or even forbid - the use of TikTok? Dr. Lisa and Reena take a deep dive into the upsides and downsides of social media and how the norms kids encounter in online environments can influence real-world behavior. The conversation sheds light on the algorithms that drive social media, what parents need to be on the lookout for, when it's time to worry, and what parents should do. AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDa...

Aug 08, 202328 minSeason 1Ep. 130

129: Encore: My Kid Was Dumped by Her Friends. How Can I Help?

Why do kids suddenly turn on friends and ice them out of a group? It’s something Dr. Lisa says she's been hearing about more often in recent months as kids need shared interests to hold their groups together, and that "social glue" was depleted by the pandemic. We take a look at how this negative behavior can emerge in friend groups and quickly become destructive. Reena asks if adults should call out mean behavior or reach out to other parents when social groups turn sour. Dr. Lisa covers what k...

Aug 01, 202330 minSeason 1Ep. 129

128: Encore: Should I Track my Teen's Location?

It’s easy to track kids using cell phone technology. But is it a good idea to do so? Today's technology allows us to know a lot more about our kids than our parents ever knew about us. While parents might track their teens for supervision and safety reasons, teens often long for more independence and privacy than tracking allows. Dr. Lisa explains why this tension is an expectable, healthy part of adolescent development and unpacks two key questions: What, exactly, does tracking accomplish? And ...

Jul 25, 202331 minSeason 1Ep. 128

127: Encore: How Much Gaming is Too Much?

What are the signs of a gaming addiction? It’s easy in the summer to have lax rules and allow more gaming and screen time. But when does gaming cross the line into being too much? A mom writes in worried about her son who used gaming to connect with friends during the pandemic but now games alone while his friends spend time together in person. Dr. Lisa unpacks the research on gaming hazards and addiction, as well as some unexpected benefits of gaming. Reena gets answers to key questions: When i...

Jul 18, 202329 minSeason 1Ep. 127

126: Encore: Raising an Athlete? Advice from an Olympic Mom

Three time Olympian and Mom of three, Lauren Regula explains how we can all better manage the stresses of school sports. What do you really need to know when raising an athlete. I was surprised by the one question she asks her kids every night at the dinner table. We’ve started asking the same question in our home. We hope you’ll enjoy this encore presentation. AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold. Fol...

Jul 11, 202325 minSeason 1Ep. 126

125: Encore: How Do We Talk to Kids About Justice? Special Guest Preet Bharara

How can we help our kids understand justice and fairness? Special Guest Preet Bharara, a former U.S. Attorney for the Southern District of New York, joins the Ask Lisa Podcast to discuss his children’s book, Justice Is… A Guide for Young Truth Seekers. Who are the history makers our children should know about? Dr. Lisa and Reena feel that there’s no better guest than Preet for this 4th of July encore episode. AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.Dr...

Jul 04, 202337 minSeason 1Ep. 125